Can You Keep A Secret?
by KairiM
Summary: Naomi's life was destroyed within one helpless night, the one that drove her to insanity, the one she will never forget. She lost everything. Three years later, she returns to Bristol. Everything is so familiar but so different. Can she ever move on with these haunting memories carved into her brain? Warning: This story contains rape.
1. Chapter 1

**So I've been reading some of these Fan fictions and decided to do one myself. All comments are welcome. Whether they are good or bad **

**I do not own Skins or any of the characters. Apart from the ones I have made up myself.  
**

**This is simply for fun.**

Summary: After a traumatic experience and a new man in Naomi's mum's life. She takes a turn for the worst. Unable to tell anyone about what is going on. Naomi must leave her life behind, to try and help herself, before she hurts anyone. Including her beloved Emily.

After living in Cornwall for 3 years, can Naomi return to Bristol and regain her old life back?

* * *

Can you keep a secret?

Chapter 1.

_The room was filled with the smell of alcohol, tobacco, sweat and vomit. Naomi's nose screwed up in disgust. She often wondered why on earth she came to these parties; it was hardly her kind of scene. _

_But this was before any intoxication was in her blood stream, and before she saw a beautiful red head dancing happily in amongst others. The corners of her lips pulled up into a smile as Naomi watched the girl sway along to the music, her eyes closed and a bottle of vodka in her hand. A satisfied smile revealing she was comfortable in her current state, almost unaware of the people around her. _

_Naomi pushed her way through the crowd of bodies, her head slightly buzzing from the alcohol she had consumed, but she didn't care, she just wanted to be near the dancing girl. Naomi stopped once she was behind her, but the girl hadn't noticed her as she was still dancing to the music. Naomi watched the way her hips moved, it was out of rhythm, but it still caused Naomi to bite down on her lip and push her fingers through her peroxide blonde hair. She began to feel hot, and lost for breath. But she knew it wasn't from the other sweaty bodies that were in the room. She reached out, encircling her arms around the other girl's waist and pushing up against her back. Naomi's mouth instantly found her neck, kissing up towards the red heads ear._

"_Hey baby" she whispered softly, _

_Emily giggled and turned to face her, her content smile formed into a beautiful, happy grin as she curled her arms around her girlfriend's neck. She pushed up on her tip toes and Naomi leaned in to meet her lips. Emily's lips were soft and sweet, even if they did taste like alcohol and cigarettes', Naomi was drawn to them. Her mouth opened as she felt Emily's tongue force its way to hers, their tongues battled as they kissed deeply, at first the kiss was passionate, but it was soon filled with want and desire. Naomi pulled Emily closer so that their bodies were tightly pressed together; she broke away for air but instantly began kissing her girlfriend's neck and up towards her ear. She sucked the skin beneath Emily's earlobe before biting it gently, and then biting it again but harder. She felt her lover's neck arch and a small moan rumbled in her throat; Naomi couldn't help but grin as she kissed her way along Emily's jaw, back towards her small, red lips._

"_Whoa whoa ladies. Share some of the love with the cookie monster. How about it Naomikins? Threesome? "_

_Naomi pulled herself away from Emily's lips, which formed into a small pout. She laughed before turning to glare at her best friend who always seemed to turn up at the most inconvenient times._

_Cook cheekily grinned at her whilst wiggling his eyebrows, Naomi couldn't help but laugh at how sleazy Cook could be, she knew he was harmless. But she often wondered how much of it was wishful thinking._

"_Fuck off, Cook. I'm in the middle of something. "Naomi says as she turns back to her pouting girlfriend, but Cook just laughed excitedly._

"_Fuck yeah, fancy giving us a show babes?"_

_Naomi wasn't listening; Emily was biting her lip and looking her up and down with a very sexy look in her eye. Naomi's mouth was instantly dry and her body began to tingle. Emily grabbed her hand before quickly turning to face the eager looking Cook._

"_Not tonight Cook. At least one of us are gonna get laid." And then Emily was dragging Naomi through the crowd, she heard Cook bellow out a laugh and shout something like "horny lezza's" but neither of them cared. They pushed past people who were stumbling around drunk. They passed plenty of people that were getting their face sucked off by others, so they knew they wouldn't get noticed as they slipped into the empty bathroom. Naomi quickly shut and locked the door just as Emily slammed her back into it. They kissed violently as Emily pressed herself tighter against Naomi's body, grinding her hips into the blonde's who let out a moan which Emily thought was incredibly sexy. Naomi bit Emily's lip and tugged on it lightly, opening her eyes to find a deep brown pair looking straight back at her; they were darker than usual, deep with desire. Naomi noticed that this happened every time Emily was horny, which was quite often. Their mouths crashed together again and Naomi tangled her fingers through her bright red hair as she felt Emily's hand slip underneath her top and clawed her nails down her stomach which quavered at the touch. Naomi couldn't help but moan into Emily's mouth, but knowing well enough that Emily loved to hear it._

_They kissed harder, and Naomi dug her nails into the red heads back when Emily's other hand went to her thighs, her fingers were smooth against Naomi's bare skin, she gasped as they travelled further, leaving her skin burning after her touch. A finger brushed against her hot centre, it was against the material of her knickers. But Naomi knew Emily could feel how hot she was, and how desperately she needed her. Her knees felt weak and she wasn't sure if she could stand any longer _

"_Fucking hell Naomi, you're so..." _

_Emily's sentence was cut short due to a violent thumping on the other side of the bathroom door. They both froze, unsure whether to just ignore whoever it was, thinking it was probably someone who was desperate for a piss. Until the heard Katie's angry voice behind them followed by another thump to the door._

"_For fuck's sake, Emily, I saw you go in there. Stop shagging Naomi and get out. Someone called the police! " _

_The two girls' instantly sprang apart and were out of the door in a flash. Emily grabbed her twins hand on the way down the stairs. Only for Katie to suddenly snap it out of her grasp._

"_Ew don't touch me. Don't know where that hands been." Emily glared at her sisters' disgusted face and sighed. Katie was still a pain in the ass even when she was drunk._

"_Fucking hell Katie, they haven't been down Naomi's fucking knickers yet. I just don't want us to get fucking separated. "Luckily, Katie didn't say another word; instead she let Emily take her hand as they ran out of the back door, pushing through all the drunken, panicking people. They got out through the gate but it wasn't until they were safely away from the house that the finally stopped to catch their breath. Naomi couldn't help but stumble and burst into a fit of giggles which was soon followed by the twins._

"_Well, that was...eventful." Naomi managed to say through her giggles._

"_Yeah" Emily breathed out, "But you have to go back that way to get home. "_

"_Nah fuck it. I'll go the long way, gives me an excuse to walk you home. "Naomi threw her girlfriend a wink and started down the road before she could protest._

_It didn't take long for them to reach the Fitch's house, but Naomi kept a safe distance to avoid another run in with their mum. She pulled her girlfriend into a tight embrace before reaching her lips; they kissed lovingly for a few minutes before Emily pulled away with a bright smile on her face. Naomi noticed how she was shockingly beautiful even in the orange glow of the streetlights. She smiled back and took Emily's tiny hands into her own._

"_Be safe walking home. Text me as soon as you're in, okay? "Naomi nodded and gave the red head one last kiss, they murmured their "I love yous" before she turned to leave._

_The walk home seemed longer than usual, and Naomi cursed herself for not taking a jacket as she began to feel the bitter cold once she started to sober. She crossed her arms over her chest and rubbed them, trying to get back some of the warmth. It worked, but only for a split second._

_It was horribly quiet considering people were probably still running away from the police, she wouldn't have minded if it wasn't so damn dark. But she continued walking down one of the roads, not paying attention to the sudden glare of headlights or the low rumbling of a car engine that was behind her._

_The car pulled up beside her and a man leaned out of the window._

"_Alright sexy, what's a pretty young thing like you wandering around at this time, aye? " His voice was deep and his words slightly slurred, most likely from drinking. He looked about 30 but Naomi couldn't tell for sure. She almost smirked, almost. Instead she put her head down and decided to ignore him. Hoping he'd give up and drive away. But he didn't._

"_How about I give you a ride? And I don't just mean in my car if ya catch my drift. "His laugh made Naomi cringe and feel sick._

"_Look, there's probably plenty of other girls' out there that would be willing to shag you. But I'm not one of them. "_

_She had to bite her tongue to stop herself from telling him to fuck off. But he stopped following. She quickened her pace as the car stopped, but her heartbeat increased as she heard the car door open and then slam shut. The real panic didn't hit her until a rough hand grabbed the back of her top and pulled her backwards. She almost screamed until another rough hand pressed against her mouth to prevent her from making any noise. She panicked, tried to fight her way out of his grip but he held onto her tightly. He shoved her against the side of car, she gasped as the cold metal slammed into her back. He pressed his hand tighter to her mouth, so hard she thought her jaw might break._

_She could feel her eyes were wide and tears started to form and her body began to tremble. She was terrified, more terrified than she had ever felt in her life. She was terrified for her life. _

_A whimper formed in Naomi's throat as the man leaned in towards her; she tried not to breathe in the strong scent of whisky and aftershave. But it was all around her, making her feel sick. She scrunched her eyes together, causing tears to slip down her cheeks. Damn, Campbell! Don't be so weak! The thoughts screamed in her head, but she couldn't help it. She knew what was going to happen, this sick cunt was going to have his fun with her and she'd be surprised if he let her live to tell anyone. Instantly her thoughts went to Emily. Her sweet Emily. But it only made the tears fall faster, and she didn't want to show this sick fucker that she was afraid. _

_She pushed herself into him with all her weight, but it didn't make much difference. He was much heavier than she was, he barely even moved. But she struggled against him, snapping her face away from his hand and trying to move her body away from him, just enough so that she could run._

_But it didn't work; he just got angrier and gripped her tighter. She felt him move for something and heard the door pop open, he instantly shoved her against it, pushing her into the backseat. She struggled again and again and screamed as he fought his way on top of her. She shoved and smacked him. But he didn't seem fazed. A strangled cry of frustration ripped through her throat as she dug her nails into his face, leaving a deep slash across his cheek. He touched his bloody cheek in shock, and instantly smashed his fist down into the side of her face. Naomi's head snapped to the side from the force and a sob slipped her lips. The man leaned over and slammed the door shut. _

_Naomi quickly struggled to move, hoping to make an escape out of the other side but he quickly pinned her back down. She cried, struggled and screamed but he was too strong. His big, rough hand ripped her top as he groped her breasts. His hands gripped her tight, his body crushed hers, and she could already feel bruises start to form. Naomi let out another cry as she heard the clinking of metal as he worked to undo his jeans. And then his hands were up her skirt, squeezing her thighs so hard that it made her cry more. She begged him, Naomi Campbell actually begged this man to stop. She was screaming in frustration, panicking as his dirty hands pulled down her knickers, but it only lead to another thump to the side of her head. She was fighting, but she knew she couldn't, she wouldn't win. He ignored her pleas. And then she felt him brush against her. Her scream tore through her lungs but he clamped his hand to her mouth. She screamed, she struggled and it hurt. Hurt so much, she cried every time he thrust against her. _

_She cried, cried so hard, she was too weak, too dazed to struggle. _

_A few minutes seemed to last for hours, hours of pain and tears and fear. And then he was pulling away, but leaning in._

"_If you tell anyone, I will find you and I will kill you, you stupid slut. "_

_The next thing she knew, she was being pulled by her throat, and then she fell into something cold and hard. She watched through her blur of tears as the car drove away at full speed. _

_Naomi weakly pulled up her underwear and slowly got to her feet. Tears streamed down her cheeks. A lump formed in her throat as she burst into an endless fit of tears. She hurt all over. It even hurt to walk as she slowly began to walk home._

_

* * *

  
_

**Please tell me what you think and if I should continue writing. I didn't like writing that scene. So please review :)  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**So I've had some lovely reviews so far. And really I was quite shocked to your reaction to the first chapter. It really meant a lot! So here is the new chapter, but be prepared, things don't get any better for Naomi yet, but hang around and you'll see what happens **

**As I said before, I do not own skins or any of the characters. Apart from the ones I have created myself. Enjoy!**

**

* * *

  
**

Chapter 2.

_Naomi stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. Her eyes were wide and puffy; the mascara she wore was now streaked down her cheeks. She lightly touched her left cheek which was swollen and bruised, her shaky fingers brushed against her bleeding split lip. Every part of her hurt unbearably. She choked on another sob as she looked at her battered appearance. She looked like she had been caught in the middle of a brawl. _

_Naomi couldn't stand looking at herself any longer; she couldn't stand being in the same skin. Every part of her was tainted, tainted with him. She wanted to shower and scrub her skin until it bled, but she knew it was too late and she would wake up her mum and be buried under a thousand questions. _

_She couldn't even begin to believe what had happened because it all happened so quickly. Fucks sake! Naomi wanted to scream, if the damn police hadn't have shown up, it would never have happened._

_She sank to the bathroom floor, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around herself. She couldn't calm herself, her body shook aggressively, and she bit down on the undamaged side of her lip, so hard that she could taste her own blood. Another scream rose from her lungs up into her throat but she had to push it back down, she wanted to let out her fear and pain, but most of all, her anger. She lay down on the cold floor as she held herself tightly. She just wanted to forget everything, or at least wake up from this fucked up dream._

_But then the strong scent of whisky and aftershave hit her nose and she quickly tore her clothes from her body, including her underwear. She never wanted to see them again, and she certainly would never wear them again. She scrubbed her face and tried to wash herself with water from the tap, but it wasn't enough. She threw her clothes into a pile in the corner of the room, she'd burn them and burn away the memories, apart from the ones that were now carved into her brain, they were memories that she'd remember for the rest of her life. _

_Naomi tore her eyes away from the pile of clothes and looked down at her naked body. She cringed at the bruises that had already begun to form. _

_Raped. Tainted. They were the only thoughts that went through her mind when she looked at herself._

_Naomi slowly stumbled out of the bathroom and into her bedroom. Curling up so small in the middle of her bed, she pulled her duvet around her tightly, almost as if to try and keep anyone from reaching her. But still she trembled._

_She looked up and noticed her mobile sitting on her bedside cabinet, exactly where she left it. She quickly leaned over and grabbed it, punching in a text._

_**Goodnight. I love you with all my heart. N xo**_

_Almost instantly she received a reply._

_**Tonight was fun, shame we didn't get to finish what we started ;) I love you. E xx**_

_Naomi wanted to reply. But she couldn't. She was shaking so bad. She pushed her mobile away and tried to sleep._

_-_

_She didn't sleep at all. She lay in the same position until light began to filter into her room, she didn't think, she didn't cry. She just lay there, completely immobilized. She didn't move when her mum opened her door, ignored her when she asked if she wanted breakfast. Pretended to be asleep._

_She waited until she heard the normal clatter from downstairs in the kitchen until she dragged herself into the bathroom to shower. She sat there with the hot water on full, felt it scorch her skin but ignored it. Let it wipe burn away every trace of him. She sat there in a trance for so long, she didn't notice as the water ran cold. She didn't notice the front door bang and the sound of pleasant greetings. She didn't notice the sound of footsteps on the stairs or a familiar voice calling her name. She didn't even notice as the bathroom door slowly opened. _

_She didn't notice the sudden panic as the water was turned off, or the woman crying out her name or suddenly getting pulled out of the shower. She didn't notice as a dressing gown was draped over her body, or being pulled back into her bed and held by comforting arms. She was immobilized and shaking._

_After what felt like hours, she finally snapped out of her trance. Naomi glanced up to see her mother cradling her, looking down at her daughter with tears in her eyes. From the look in her eyes, she was terrified._

"_M...Mu...Mum. W...Why...Are......cr...Crying? "Naomi managed to say through her chattering teeth. She was frozen, even against the warmth of her mother's body._

"_Naomi. What the fuck happened?! "Gina cried out. _

_.. fucking hell, shit! Naomi panicked, she hadn't thought of a story, she couldn't tell her. She cringed as she heard his voice in her head. Shit._

"_You look like you've been used as somebody's fucking punch bag. Naomi what the fuck happened?"_

_Fight. Tell her you were in a fight._

"_P...party. Got caught in a fight. J...just shocked a bit. First real fight, ya know? "Naomi smiled weakly at her mother, hoping she'd buy it._

_Gina sighed heavily and Naomi knew she was safe. Even if her mum didn't believe her, she knew she wouldn't question her._

"_Well for Christ sake be more careful. You almost gave your poor mother a heart attack! "_

_Naomi laughed, and it hurt. But she covered it up with a smile and a nod._

"_Right. Now get dressed. Food will help clear that hangover. "Her mum gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and left the room. Leaving Naomi alone, again. She instantly wanted to curl up again, but she knew it'd cause too much attention. So she steadily got up from her bed and dressed in a long sleeved t-shirt and joggers. She slowly made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen where she found her mother cooking up eggs and her boyfriend, Ian, was drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. Naomi found it odd that Ian practically lived with them now, she hated it, hated him. Hated how he tried to have parental authority over her. Christ, not even Gina could control her. She looked at the blonde by the cooker, they were exactly the same. Blonde hair with almost the same style and the same piercing blue eyes. But apart from looks, they were nothing alike. It often left Naomi wondering whether her personality was more like her dad's, but the thought didn't stay long. She despised her father._

_Crossing the room, Naomi placed herself down on one of the kitchen chairs, waiting for her mum to serve breakfast. She wasn't actually hungry, she felt too sick to eat but she knew it would avoid more questions. Questions that she physically couldn't answer._

_She noticed Ian glaring at her over the top of his coffee mug, his dirty brown eyes boring into her face. She didn't like those brown eyes; they weren't soft and comfortable like Emily's, these eyes just judged her as they scanned her shaken appearance. His solemn face screwed up into a frown, showing a few more wrinkles than before. His short brown hair was patchy like he was already starting to bold. Naomi stopped herself from smiling at this thought, but she still couldn't help but wonder what the hell her mum saw in this man. It wasn't like he was sweet and generous or anything. He was probably just good shag that she wanted to make more persistent. Naomi cringed and hated herself for thinking such a thing, but her sudden change in facial expression didn't go unnoticed by Ian._

"_Fucking teenagers" he mumbled before taking a sip of his coffee, Naomi instantly threw him a dirty glare._

"_Excuse me? Fancy repeating that? "_

"_I said, fucking teenagers! I mean, looking at the fucking state of you! "Naomi gritted her teeth just as her mum placed a plate of eggs on toast in front of her. _

"_Come on you two, no arguing at breakfast. " _

_Naomi dropped the fork that she had just picked up, it clattered on the floor, making them all jump. She glared at her mum before kicking back her chair and storming out of the kitchen. She was just about to run upstairs when her mum came out behind her._

"_Naomi, I have a favour to ask. Is it alright if Emily doesn't come round this weekend? "Naomi's mouth dropped as she stared at the blonde in front of her. She could feel her anger bubbling through her. She clenched her fists, trying to keep it under control._

"_What the fuck mum? Why? "_

"_Well, Ian and I would like to spend some time in privacy. He's also not used to idea of you dating another girl. I've given up plenty of my time for you and Emily so you can at least return the favour. "Gina turned and left the room before Naomi could say another word. She almost screamed in frustration, but the only reason she didn't really kick up a fuss was because she didn't want Emily to see her in this state. _

_Naomi ran to her room and slammed her bedroom door, causing it to shake on its hinges. She grabbed her mobile to find a few missed calls and unread messages. All of which were from Emily. She ignored them and quickly typed out a new text._

_**You can't come over this weekend. Mum's being a prick. N xo**_

_She held onto her phone, waiting for a reply. She opened it as soon as it came through._

_**That sucks. I miss you. I suppose I could go out with Katie, she's been hounding me for weeks about going shopping. When will I see you? I love you xx**_

_**Yeah, you should go. At least it'll give her less to complain about. I could do with catching up on coursework anyway, so I guess I'll see you at college. I love you too, N xo**_

_They continued to text for a while, until Emily decided to go out. Naomi led back against her pillows, she couldn't be bothered to do coursework. There wasn't much for her to do. So she lay there, thinking over everything. Trying so hard to not think about the night before, but the more she tried not to think about it, the more the thoughts seeped their way into her mind. So she curled up, immobilized by her thoughts again. Until eventually, she finally fell into a disturbing slumber._

* * *

_Her dreams were filled with nothing but dark roads, orange streetlights and a car. It was chasing her, even as she ran down endless roads, it was still there. All she could hear was his voice as it echoed in her mind, causing every part of her body to suddenly freeze. So she stood there, frozen in the street, until a dark form reached out and grabbed her._

* * *

_Naomi's eye suddenly snapped open. She was tangled up in her duvet, panting rapidly as she fought to free herself. Every inch of her skin was covered in a cold sweat, causing her clothes to stick to her. She pushed her fingers through her scruffy blonde hair, gripping it as she tried to calm herself. Her heart was pounding frantically against her already aching chest, the sound of it thundered in her ears. She lay there gasping for breath until she finally felt her pulse begin to steady. She had no idea what the time was, but she assumed it was late as it was pitch black. She steadily pushed herself off of her bed and crossed the room to flick to light on; she crushed her eyes together as the light blinded her. She didn't care much for the time, as she could hear Gina and Ian talking downstairs. She knew it obviously wasn't too late._

_After her eyes adjusted to the light, she finally pulled out her psychology coursework and set to work. After writing for a while and answering some of the questions, Naomi eventually began to day dream. Her mind slipped back towards to unwelcome thoughts. She managed to pull herself away from them, as well as her coursework. Instead she pulled out a bottle of vodka from her drawer, her secret stash for times like these. She unscrewed the cap and took 3 big gulps, cringing as the liquid burnt her throat. But it was nice. After a few mouthfuls, it was soon followed by her taking more and more. Until eventually, the bottle was empty. Naomi didn't care, her body felt free as she stumbled out of her room and down the stairs, bursting into a fit of giggles every time she slipped. A whole bottle of straight vodka worked wonders._

_She bumped into Ian in the hallway, which caused her to laugh even more when she saw his dumbfounded expression._

"_Are you drunk?! "Naomi grinned at the disgust in his voice._

"_Of course not, silly! Where's mum? "_

"_She's gone out to get something. " He grumbled a reply._

"_Oh okay. Looks like it's just you and me then. Joy! "Her words were slurred but she managed to emphasise her sarcasm in the joy. Ian rolled his eyes and barged past her. But Naomi couldn't stop herself from spitting out sentences._

"_What the fuck are you doing in my house? "Ian slowly turned to look at her, now looking more annoyed than before._

"_What?"_

"_Yeah, you don't like me. And I don't like you. So why the fuck are you here?"_

"_I'm here for your mum, not you." He spat back._

"_Fuck off. You can't control her the way you think you can. And you won't control me either! "She told herself to shut up as he took a step towards her, but she couldn't stop it._

"_Naomi, you are an immature, selfish bitch. "_

"_And you're just a fucking cock. "_

_It happened the second the words slipped her mouth, she was falling backwards as her face exploded in pain, she cried out as soon as the back of her skull collided with the hard floor, causing sharp flashes to shoot through her mind. She clutched her nose which was now pouring with blood. She felt dizzy and sick and her head throbbed painfully. Ian leaned down and grabbed the collar of her top with both hands, lifting her up from the floor and pushing her into nearest wall. His face was inches from hers, she could feel his anger radiating onto her skin._

"_You better fuck off Naomi. I won't have you pushing your fucking way between me and your mother. And I swear that if you even try, I will hurt you. "_

_Her shoulders smashed against the stairs as he threw her against them, she watched in shock when he turned away and exited the room, her body now shaking uncontrollably again. She scrambled to her feet and rushed up the stairs and into her bedroom. She grabbed her chest as she struggled for breath. Jesus Christ, she thought, what the fuck is it with men threatening me now?!_

_She swallowed the hard lump in her throat that threatened to form tears, she wanted to be with Emily, but she knew she couldn't. Not in this state. Naomi sighed as she crawled back into her bed, it was going to be a long weekend._

_

* * *

  
_

**Here you go! This chapter annoyed me a bit, but oh well. Review and let me know what you think :)  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 is here. Poor Naomi, she really isn't having a good time at the moment. But still please hang around and continue to read. And please comment. They really make me happy (:**

**Enjoy!**

**I do not own skins or any of the characters. Apart from the ones I have created myself.**

**

* * *

  
**

Chapter 3

_The weekend had finally ended, but as Naomi stood in her kitchen on Monday morning, she kind of wish that it hadn't. The bruise on her cheek was still easily visible; the cut on her lip was still deep and scabbed, and she now had a cut across the bridge of her nose where Ian had punched her. She instantly thought of the stares she'd receive from the other students and the questions from her friends. Emily, oh god, Emily wouldn't quit until she knew what had happened. Nerves settled in the pit of her stomach, she wanted to avoid college, now more than ever._

_Naomi, Gina and Ian sat at the kitchen table in an awkward silence. Naomi refused to utter a word to Ian, she had to make up several stupid excuses as to why she now had another cut. She sighed, she wanted nothing more than to just curl up in her bed and never let the world see her, unfortunately things could never be that simple. _

_Naomi left the room and went to her bedroom to grab her bag, taking a quick glance at her reflection, she decided to throw on another layer of foundation, but the bruises were still clear enough to see. Fuck it, she thought. She'd just have to put up with the questions and stares. She did her best to cover herself; it wasn't often that she'd just wear basic jeans and a t-shirt with a big jacket, especially when she was going out. She never really put much effort into her appearance, but she did at least try. Right now, even if she wasn't covered in bruises, she felt too self conscious to show any part of her body. _

_Giving up on trying covering the bruises, Naomi grabbed her bag and left the room, heading back towards the kitchen._

"_Going to college. " She stated to her mum, Gina slowly looked up and smiled at her daughter._

"_Alright love. Aren't you going to have any breakfast before you go? "_

"_For fuck's sake mum, when do I ever have breakfast? " Gina seemed unaffected by her daughters rudeness, clearly she was used to it. But Ian jumped from his chair and strode across the room, slapping Naomi hard across the face when he reached her. She gasped at the sharp contact and pressed her hand against her throbbing cheek. Couldn't fucking slap the other cheek, could he? Her voice growled angrily in her mind._

_She glared at her mother who seemed unfazed by what just happened, Naomi's mouth dropped when she realised her mother didn't actually care._

"_Mum, what the fuck, he just hit me! "_

"_Well you did deserve it sweetie, he's only standing up for me. You probably should learn to talk to me with more respect. "She smiled at her daughter in the most infuriating way. Naomi's jaw would have hit the floor if it were possible. She couldn't believe this._

_Without another word, she ran from their presence and out of the front door. She grabbed a packet of cigarettes' from her bag, pulled one out and quickly lit up, breathing in a much needed shot of nicotine. It felt good as she breathed the smoke out, but she was still furious. Why had everything just suddenly gone to shit? Why was her mum taking Ian's side over hers? She wanted to cry but she knew she couldn't, she was sick of crying, sick of showing everyone that she was weak. _

_Instead of heading towards college, she took a different route towards an empty field; she was going to skip the first day of tutor. She wasn't ready to face anyone, at least if she went in later, she could try and avoid seeing any of them. It made her feel sick, the fact that she was going to hide from them all, but she knew it was for the best._

_When she reached the empty field, she pulled out another bottle of vodka from her bag. She had stolen it from her mum's alcohol cabinet, she felt bad for it at the time, but now she was rather glad. Fuck that stupid bitch; she smiled as she brought the bottle up to her lips. Pouring the liquid into her mouth, enjoying how it burnt her throat and settled nicely in her stomach. She led back against the soft grass and smiled up at the blue sky, taking continuous swigs from her bottle._

_An hour later, Naomi stumbled into college, she managed to pull herself through her first lesson, forcing herself to listen to whatever shit her teacher was coming out with. Now she waited by the metal lockers, deciding she'd rather face Emily now than later. She waited for her girlfriend who was taking longer than usual; she closed her eyes and rests her head against the locker, trying to push out the loud, excited students as they shoved their way through the crowd to find their friends. It irritated Naomi, especially now that she was trying to fight of the vodka she had consumed. Her head seemed to throb more than usual and she could feel herself becoming angrier by the second. She froze when she felt rough hands stroking her arms. She couldn't focus on who the voice belonged to, could only hear the deepness of it, a blazing flame sparked inside of her as she grit her teeth together, she couldn't think about anything else except how angry she felt. Her head spun, she felt sick. Rough hands, deep voice, the way his skin felt on hers, instant memories flashed through her mind._

_Her eyes snapped open as she looked at the grinning face of Cook, but it didn't seem to click that he was her best friend, she couldn't even put a name to his face. He was just a guy, a guy that was touching her with the same rough skin. Her nostrils flared, Cook looked confused when she pulled her arms away from his touch since he knew that Naomi was used to his usual friendly gestures. But he didn't know that through Naomi's current anger, her thoughts couldn't register who he was._

_Naomi reached out and gripped the collar of his polo shirt and pulled his face towards her so that they were only centre metres apart, she stared into his excited but now worried eyes, before smashing her head into his, she heard him exclaim, but she couldn't control herself. Still holding onto his collar, she shoved him back into the lockers that banged loudly against his weight before pulling back her arm and punching him hard across his face. She pressed her hand down against his mouth before shouting at him._

"_How does it fucking feel? " She couldn't even recognise her own voice._

_She pulled her back to punch him again, but suddenly her anger seemed to evaporate, and her arm hung loosely in the air. Her best friends face registered in her brain and then she realised what she was doing. Her eyes widened and she pulled away from him, her mouth slightly agape, she could feel the eyes of other student upon her, but she didn't care about them, her eyes settled on Cooks. She expected him to be pissed off, to start shouting and smack her in return. But he didn't, he just stared at her with confused and worried eyes. _

_It was all too much, Naomi felt like she was about to be sick, and she ran towards to exit of the college. Pushing past all the surprised faces until she was outside, she drew in a shaky breath, her head spinning with so many thoughts. She had just attacked her best friend in the middle of college. But what scared her most was, she didn't know who he was. His touch and his voice sent her brain into overdrive. And she instantly did what she could to protect herself._

_Shit, she muttered out loud, pressing her palms against her forehead. She was going crazy, she knew it. And she knew she couldn't go back._

_She turned on her heel and ran towards the direction of her house._

_

* * *

  
_

_Emily led back against one of the trees outside of Round View College. It was the place where she and Naomi often spent their lunch breaks, and their usual meeting point. She had been waiting for her girlfriend for a while now, hoping she was coming into college since Naomi had missed tutorial and wasn't replying to any of her texts. She wasn't too worried though, happily enjoying the warm sunny day. In her relaxed state, she didn't notice another girl sneak up behind her._

"_What the fuck is going on with you and Naomi? " Emily jumped at the voice, instantly knowing who it was, she turned around and looked up at the brunette, feeling slightly annoyed at how she'd always appear out of nowhere._

"_Eff, what the fuck are you talking about? Naomi and I are fine. "Effy looked down at her with a blank expression on her face, that's how Effy was, expressionless. Yet her deep blue eyes seemed to be able to read people like a book._

"_Really? Well she just attacked Cook in college and ran off. So something must have pissed her off. " _

_Emily froze after hearing the girls' words. Naomi attacked Cook? She wouldn't, she wouldn't attack anyone, especially not Cook. She jumped to her feet and stared at the girl in front of her._

"_What?" It sounded stupid, but she couldn't think of what else to say._

"_She attacked Cook. But Cook said something wasn't right with her. He could smell alcohol on her breath. "_

_Emily felt her eyes widen. Naomi would never drink before college. She struggled to find something to say, but Effy seemed to read her thoughts straight away._

"_So something must be up. If it's not between you two then fuck knows. I'm going to go see her after college. "Effy turned on her heel and walked away, leaving Emily to fumble around in her mind to find something to say. She couldn't. Instead she ran after Effy and walked with her. Neither of them spoke, their concern for Naomi said enough._

_

* * *

  
_

_No one was home. Naomi was glad, she couldn't face her mum or Ian. She couldn't face anyone. She felt like she was out of control. One minute the anger was so strong she thought she would attack anything or anyone in her path. And then suddenly, it was gone. But no emotions were replaced, she just felt blank, empty. She didn't understand what was happening; she had never felt anger like this before. This anger wanted to lead to destruction, she wanted to scream until her lungs would burst, and she wanted to punch anyone that looked at her in the wrong way, and every object in the room looked so easy to break, and that's exactly what she wanted to do. She wanted to smash and break and attack everything. _

_Her new anger was fierce, she couldn't control it. So instead it controlled her._

_Naomi dropped her bag by the stairs before running up them and going into her bedroom, she pulled down a box from one of her shelves and began looking through its contents of cds. She didn't often listen to music, so there wasn't much of a variety, most of it was from the 80's, stuff that she listened to whilst growing up. But it wasn't what she wanted. She looked at the last cd in the box, one of the only friends she had in middle school gave it to her. The girl was into more of the rock, heavy style music, so she was certain that that's what would be on the cd. She didn't listen to much rock, especially nothing heavy with screaming. But right now she needed it, she needed something so loud that it'd burst her ear drums, something loud and something angry. She put the cd into her cd player and pressed play. It was exactly what she expected; she listened for a while and actually found herself liking the music. She had no idea what the band's name was, or the title to any of their songs. It didn't matter; she turned the volume up so loud that the walls seemed to vibrate. It was good, it felt good. The songs seemed to calm her, and Naomi thanked her old friend for giving it to her. _

_She relaxed on her bed as she listened to the album for a second time, feeling completely calm and content; she eventually began to drift off into a sleep, so she didn't hear the front door open and close or the sound of someone thundering up the stairs. _

_However, she was pulled away from her sleep the moment someone stopped her music, she opened her eyes to see Ian in her room looking furious. Almost instantly, her anger began to filter back into her body._

"_Why the fuck did you turn it off? " She growled at him. Keep it cool, she told herself. But it didn't work._

"_I don't want to hear this shit thundering through my house. " Ian spat back, Naomi couldn't help but laugh at him._

"_Your house? This is not your fucking house! Now get out of my fucking room! "_

_She was surprised when Ian scowled at her but left without a word. She actually wished that he had stayed, just so she could scream at him. But instead she leaned over and pressed play on her cd player, she didn't give a shit if Ian didn't like how loud it was. It wasn't his fucking house. She clenched her fists in anger; she couldn't believe that he even said such a thing. She wanted to run after him and smack him so hard. _

_She closed her eyes, breathing heavily through gritted teeth. The music wasn't helping this time; in fact it was making her angrier. But she liked it; she liked this new form of strength. But it was getting too much, she needed a release, she needed to pour her anger out into something._

_She picked up a glass from her bedside cabinet, she paused for a second before throwing it across the room, and she laughed as it hit the wall and shattered. _

_Pushing herself up off of her bed, Naomi removed her top so that she was just wearing a plain black strap top. She didn't care that her bruises were on show, she was being controlled by her anger, and she didn't care if the whole world could see them, as long as she got her release. She walked up to dressing cabinet, glared at her reflection through the three mirrors before looking at the contents on the dresser. With a snide grin, she pushed everything off of it, enjoying the sound of things smacking the floor with a thud, and feeling a thrill course through her body as other things smashed._

_

* * *

  
_

_Emily waited outside of college for Effy. She was anxious about seeing Naomi who still hadn't answered her calls or replied to her texts. The only time Naomi would ignore her was if Emily herself had done something wrong, but she tried to rack her brain for anything she done or said to upset Naomi, and so far, it'd all come up blank. She tapped her foot nervously on the ground; college had lasted longer than usual. She could have just gone to Naomi's by herself, but the thought of Effy being there seemed a bit more comforting. She pushed her fingers through her hair and nibbled her lip, it was a nervous habit._

_A moment later, she saw Effy coming out of the college and coming towards her, they didn't exchange any greetings apart from a soft smile. They walked in silence towards Naomi's house, Effy pulled a cigarette from a packet, lit it and handed it to Emily, who gratefully took it and then got one out for herself._

_The silence wasn't awkward, but they were both too worried to speak. Emily was actually surprised at how nervous Effy seemed to be, she knew her and Naomi were sort of close, but now Emily began to wonder how close they actually were. Effy looked at her then, like she automatically knew what she was thinking._

"_Me and Naomi have a lot in common. She's like a sister to me. But...I've never seen her behave like that. "Effy looked down at the ground whilst muttering the last words, Emily reached out and took Effy's hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. The brunette smiled weakly, still looking at the floor whilst taking a drag of her cigarette before flicking it into the grass. _

_Emily smiled at how much Effy had changed since her and Freddie got together, she was more open with people and much more friendly. She and Naomi did have something in common, they were both afraid of letting anyone in, and they both had their hearts stolen by someone they didn't expect. Emily didn't like Effy much after she smacked her sister with a rock, but the past is the past. She was willing to give her another chance, especially now that she could see how much Freddie had helped her to stop being so afraid of opening up to someone._

_The rest of the walk was in silence, but they still clung to each other's hand. Emily felt sick from the nerves once they arrived at Naomi's house. She took a deep breath, received a reassuring nod from Effy, and knocked on the door._

_They waited a while until Emily knocked again, she was beginning to think that maybe Naomi didn't go home, but she began to panic when she tried to think of where she could have gone. But the thoughts were set aside as a man opened the door._

_Emily had seen him before, he was Gina's new boyfriend, she couldn't remember his name but she didn't like the way he glared at her and Effy. She opened her mouth to speak but Effy spoke before her._

"_Were here to see Naomi." She said bluntly but demanding. Emily began to feel irritated as he shuffled on the spot, he didn't seem anxious, he seemed bored._

"_Now isn't a good time. " He replied almost as bluntly as Effy. Ugh, what a prick. Emily couldn't help but think and wonder why Gina liked this man._

"_I want to see my girlfriend, if you don't mind. " She didn't care if he minded, who was he to stop her?_

_But that's when she heard a crash from upstairs, and someone's music blasting. The girls' instantly looked at each other before pushing past the man and running up the stairs. The music was coming from Naomi's room but Emily knew it wasn't what she would listen to, but that was unimportant. She shoved open her bedroom door and froze in the doorway when she saw the scene in front of her._

_Naomi's room was destroyed. There was glass shattered everywhere from what looked like ornaments and pots that once contained something; everything littered the floor, glass, clothes, solid things that hadn't been broken in the frenzy. Pictures had been torn from the walls, the bedside cabinets had been pulled over, and even her bed was stripped from the sheets and pillows. But this didn't bother Emily. _

_The thing that bothered her was the shaken form of her girlfriend sat with her back to them, smoking a cigarette by the window. Emily's eyes filled with tears as her eyes travelled over the bruises on the blondes' body. Her wrists were bruised, and it continued up her arms and her shoulders. Deep purple bruises spread across her shoulder blades and continued down into her top, so Emily couldn't see how much of her body was covered. She swallowed hard, trying to push back the tears. She looked at Effy, who was completely frozen, her eyes on Naomi and her mouth slightly open, she didn't even jump, unlike Emily, to the deep growl of Naomi's voice._

"_I thought I told you to fuck off out of my room. " _

_Emily wanted to move, she wanted to wrap her arms around her girlfriend's waist and kiss away every bruise. When neither of them replied, Naomi sighed and turned around, her face stiff with anger until her eyes rested upon the two people she didn't expect to see. Emily's mouth dropped when she saw the marks on Naomi's beautiful face. Her cheek bruised, fading but still easy to see. Her gentle lips was cut as well as the bridge of her nose. New tears formed as Emily opened her mouth to speak, but no words came. She wanted to kill whoever had done this to her._

_They stared at each other, brown against blue. Brown trying to fight the tears, blue trying to fight the anger, and winning, until Gina's boyfriend stepped into the room._

"_Look I told you that this isn't a good time. Come on you need to leave. "The moment his hand touched Emily's arm to move her away. Naomi cracked. Scaring both Emily and snapping Effy out of her trance._

"_Don't you fucking dare touch her. "Emily's eyes widened at the anger in Naomi's voice, her eyes were now burning, filled with such hatred that Emily felt afraid. But he kept his grip on her arm and turned to face the raging blonde._

"_I swear if you speak to me like that one more time I will..." His sentence was cut short by Naomi jumping down from the windowsill, screaming at him as she walked towards them, completely unfazed that she was walking over glass with bare feet. Emily was now frozen, only feeling Effy reach out from behind and grip her hand. She couldn't pull her eyes away from Naomi._

_

* * *

  
_

"_Or what?" Naomi screamed as she walked towards Ian, holding her arms out beside her, "You'll fuck me up? Well come on fucking do it! "She shoved hard against his chest causing him to stumble back until he hit the wall; she noticed Emily jump of the way and being held by Effy, both of their faces were painted with so many emotions. Shock, fear, concern, but mostly they looked completely terrified. Naomi hated herself for slipping out of control in front of them, but the moment he touched her, she saw nothing but red._

_But before she had the chance to move, Ian's arm snapped out in front of him and punched Naomi, but he didn't hit her face, his fist collided with the side of her head, she yelped as the force knocked her off her feet and landed on the shards of glass that were now cutting through her skin. She heard a girl scream, but everything was muffled and blurred as she clutched her head, using her feet to push herself across the floor when a figure approached her. Something strong slipped around her throat and she was being choked, but she heard a shout, saw a sudden blur of movement and then the figure was gone, replaced by something red pulling her up from the floor and moving her out of the room. Her vision began to turn back to normal, and Naomi was soon able to think straight. She clung to the red head beside her as they quickly moved down the stairs; she was able to forget to throb in her head as she broke away from Emily and ran into the kitchen to grab her jacket. _

_She span round to exit just as Ian stormed in, she quickly stepped back to get out of his reach but her back came into contact with the counter. He grabbed onto her wrists so tightly that she gasped and tears formed, he was so close to her and so angry that she actually began to panic._

_And then the smell washed over her._

_Naomi froze, her mind now only concentrating on him._

_Whisky, aftershave, her panic and tears, the tight grip, the rough skin on hers._

_Everything else faded around her as her brain set into overdrive._

_

* * *

  
_

_**Ooooh! Haha I decided to leave it here because it seemed like a good point. I hope that you're all screaming in frustration to know what happens. But I promise I shall have the next chapter up soon. This one was so frustrating to write, but got there in the end (:**_

_**Please let me know what you think. Your reviews are so nice and so appreciated!**_

_**Hang in there!**_


	4. Chapter 4

**So here's chapter 4! Thank you all again for the lovely reviews, I hope I don't disappoint. And I'm sorry to those of you who don't like Naomi being hurt, I don't either! **

**I'm trying to make this more like real life, because I know some people who have been through similar things and I've seen them react to it in different ways, it wasn't easy for them to deal with so I'm trying to make this seem more realistic, if things suddenly fell into the right place for Naomi, well, that wouldn't be right. Because life isn't like that. But anyway, there's only a few chapters left until we go to her life in the future. So please stick around and enjoy!**

**I do not own skins or any of the characters apart from the ones I have created myself.**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 4

_The knife slipped from her hand, falling until it banged loudly on the ground next to her. Naomi staggered backwards until her back hit the counter and she slipped down to the ground, her eyes wide and tears streak her cheeks. A ragged breath escaped her lips as her trembling hands gripped the clothes on her body, trying to find comfort in herself. She didn't dare move her eyes from their current locked position, afraid to see what was in front of her; she swallowed hard, breathed hard. But nothing could stop the sudden broken sob that ripped through her with surprising strength; it tore her lungs, scorched her throat and racked her body aggressively. She could slowly feel the anger slip back through her, but this time it was aimed at herself, she hated this person, hated the skin it was in. She snapped her arm out with as much force as she could possibly muster, putting the last of her strength into her fist that smashed against the counter door, the collision echoed through the walls and sharp pain shot through her knuckles up into her hand, but she needed it. She did it again, and again, quicker this time, her hand was now numb as she pulled it back to do it another time, but a soft clutch on her arm brought her to an instant stop as all of her thoughts zoned to the gentle skin on hers, and she felt her anger subside._

_The girl was speaking to her, whispering gentle things in her lovely voice, but Naomi couldn't concentrate on her words, she didn't even flinch as the girl inspected her mangled hand. All she knew was that she needed this girl, needed her desperately. Naomi pushed herself up onto her knees and searched for her, she could only make out the red hair from her blurred vision, but as she leaned forward she was soon able to find the soft lips on hers, the lips that she craved. The gentle hands now cupped her face as the girl slowly kissed her back; Naomi clung to her, holding her tightly to her body. Every sliver of anger disappeared as their lips moved in synchronisation, it was perfect. The kiss was slow, but it said more than words ever could, Naomi poured her love, her apologies, her fear, her desire, everything, into this kiss, and she felt her heart explode when the kiss was returned. This girl was everything Naomi needed; she was her drug, yet an antidote to her anger. She was the reason why Naomi could now live her life in happiness, after so many years of being alone, believing she would always be alone. She was her reason to belong, Emily Fitch, her soul mate._

"_Naomi, I think you need help. " _

_Emily flinched at the sound of Gina's voice, breaking away from her girlfriend's lips to gape at her mother. Naomi didn't move, didn't utter a word. Just slowly closed her eyes and bowed her head, letting only a single tear escape down her cheek. She knew her mother was right, but she was scared to admit it. _

_No one said anything, but Naomi could feel Emily's gaze switching between her and Gina, it surprised her though when she heard Emily speak directly to her mother, her voice cold and bitter._

"_Help? It's your fucking boyfriend who's doing this to her. "Naomi had never heard Emily speak to anyone in that tone of voice, let alone Gina, they had gotten considerably close since Emily started spending most of her time at the Campbell's. Gina froze in the doorway of the kitchen, clearly taken aback by Emily's accusations; she shifted her weight from one foot to the other before replying._

"_Emily I know for a fact that Ian didn't do this to her." _

_Emily scoffed, surprising Naomi even more._

"_Naomi, care to enlighten her? " Naomi pressed her lips together, how could she tell the truth without telling the whole truth? She began to feel nauseous after being pulled into the spotlight by Emily. Finally she sighed, knowing that they were all waiting on her answer._

"_He didn't do it...not all of it. " She whispered the last bit but knew that they had heard her. Emily frowned at her, opened her mouth, and then closed it. She couldn't find the words because really, she had no clue about what was really happening. She shook her head, her red hair swinging from side to side._

"_Naomi, what the fuck is going on? " _

_That was the question she desperately wanted to avoid, but she knew she now had no choice now but to accept the truth._

"_I can't say. " She whispered, her voice breaking slightly. "But mum's right, Emily. I need help. "She looked up at her girlfriend who again was shaking her head, tears falling silently down her cheek. Naomi pulled Emily's chin up lightly with her fingers to look into the brown eyes she loved so much, but she didn't love seeing them filled with confusion and sadness. She hated seeing them turn red as the tears stung them, she never wanted Emily to hurt, and she never wanted to see tears in her eyes unless they were happy tears. Naomi brushed the tears away with her finger tips and smiled, it was weak and lasted less than a second, but it would have to do. Emily closed her eyes took a deep breath and opened her mouth to reply._

"_No...No, you don't need help Naoms, you're just upset." Naomi had to stop herself from laughing at Emily's innocence, this time it was her turn to shake her head._

"_I can't just go pulling knives on people because I'm upset, Emily. I almost stabbed him...I could have killed him. And I didn't do it to protect myself, I done it because...I was angry." She ducked her head. "If that doesn't say I'm mental, then I don't know what does. "_

_Whilst they were both crying, Naomi took a moment to take in her surroundings. Emily on the floor next to her, her face red and blotchy from the tears, but still ruthlessly gorgeous, the kitchen knife not far from them, left in the same place after she dropped it. Her mum stood in the doorway, covering her face with her hand, also crying. She knew Ian was in the living room, recovering from what had just happened, but then she noticed that someone was missing._

"_Where's Effy? " As soon as the words left her lips, a teary eyed brunette slowly entered the room. Naomi's eyes widened at the sight of her, she had never seen Effy cry before, not ever. Not even when her parents split up or from the harassment she received in college when she returned. Nothing affected Effy. Naomi steadily got to her feet to embrace her tightly. Even the hug was different, the hugs before had been half-hearted, but now they clung to each other as they broke down into a flood of tears. Naomi couldn't stand this, she hated the fact that she was hurting the people she loved more than anything, she hated that she knew it wasn't her fault, she couldn't control it. She needed to, wanted to, but it was hard, possibly the hardest thing she would ever have to do in her entire life. This wasn't just a teenage girls' mood swing, this was a new side of her. A new side created only through anger, a side that could only be controlled by anger, it was dangerous, it made Naomi dangerous, it could control her even against her will, and all it was doing was causing her to completely fuck everything up._

_Naomi lightly pulled away from Effy whilst giving her a one sided smile; she leaned forward and pressed her lips lightly to the girls' forehead and motioned her towards Emily. Effy gave her an understanding nod before sitting down next to the red head, pulling her in to rest against her chest, Naomi was glad when Emily didn't object to being held by different arms._

_Her eyes left the two girls' and switched to the knife that still lie on the ground; Naomi swallowed and kneeled down to pick it up by the wooden handle. She turned it over in her hand to see the ridges of the blade; it was sharp, bloody sharp in fact. She grimaced at the thought of the damage it could have caused._

_It was just like the incident with Cook._

_She had jumped forward with the knife in her hand, ready to thrust it into Ian's chest but a terrified shriek caused her to freeze, and then her brain was able to register what she was doing. The anger was pushed aside as fear crashed down upon her. What if she didn't stop? What if she'd done it? Naomi shuddered at the thought. She'd have been a murderer at seventeen._

_A wave of nausea rushed over her, and she quickly placed the knife back onto the counter before gripping the counter for support, she breathed in and out deeply, trying to stop the sickness. She closed her eyes and her body began to tremble, small beads of sweat breaking out of her skin. She raised her hand to rake her fingers through her hair, but she cried out as her hand began to throb with excruciating pain._

"_Fuck" she whispered once she pulled her hand back to look at it. Each knuckle were barely visible under the bloody mess of split skin, a raging purple bruise had already begun to spread down the back of her hand. She was oblivious to it before, but now the slightest movement caused it to throb immensely. Naomi looked to her mother with tears in her eyes, but she wasn't in the room. She reappeared a moment later with her coat and handbag, Naomi frowned at her in confusion._

"_Hospital. "It was a statement; Naomi knew she had no choice. _

"_What...What will I say? " She whispered. Gina shrugged._

"_Use the same excuse that you used with me." Naomi knew she shouldn't have been shocked by her mum knowing she lied, but she couldn't help it. She knew she shouldn't be as selfish as to want her mother's comfort, but for the first time, she truly wished that they could have been closer, and now thanks to Naomi's past hard headed exterior, the very little mother daughter friendship between them had been broken. She nodded slowly and turned back to the two girls' on the floor, Naomi extended her good hand towards Emily and pulled her to her feet whilst she pulled Effy up too. She wrapped her arms around Emily's petite form and buried her face in the soft red hair, her smell was intoxicating, Naomi thought she would drown in the fruity scent. She placed small kisses across Emily's temple before capturing her small lips with her own. The kiss was gentle but loving and it could have lasted forever if Gina hadn't coughed to show she was getting impatient, Naomi shyly pulled away and smiled, Emily smiled back but she could tell that it was forced._

"_Will you come with me? "She whispered. Her heart dropped when Emily looked away, opened her mouth to reply but then closed it and slowly shook her head._

"_I think I should be going home, you need to rest when you get back anyway. "_

"_I'll get Cook to meet you at the hospital. I think you owe him an apology. "She didn't think, she knew. Naomi turned to Effy who had now gone back to being expressionless, she knew it was rare for her to show an emotional side so she gave her a smile and pulled her into a second hug, muttering "thanks" into her ear._

_The four of them left the house and Naomi watched the two girls' walk away from her house after they said their goodbyes. She tried to blink away the tears but it failed, everything was now completely fucked up. And she had no one to blame but herself. She watched her girlfriend disappear at the end of the road, the tears now spilling down her cheeks. She wanted nothing more than to run after her and apologise and tell her everything would be alright. But she knew she would be lying if she said that, she just wished that Emily would have stayed and comforted her in hospital. But she didn't blame her for wanting to leave, not after what she just witnessed._

_Heaving a sigh, she followed her mum to the car and climbed in. Resting her head against the window as the rest of the journey was filled with silence._

_

* * *

_**I'm already half way through writing the next chapter, so it should be up soon. Please review and let me know what you think, if you do, I promise to get the next chapter done ASAP :D**

**Review and I will love you forever because you're all so lovely!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Oh my god! Skins is on tomight! Who's excited?**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed and are following the updates for this story. It means so much so I shall try not to disappoint. Remember if you'd like to make a comment or ask a question just review and I shall happily reply. Happy reading!**

**To ruthiee****: The reason why Emily doesn't go with Naomi to the hospital is because she's beginning to freak out about what's happened so she needs time to like, get her head around things. It explains it more in this chapter (:**

**I do not own skins or any of the characters apart from the ones I have created myself.**

Chapter 5

_After the slow and tedious walk home, Emily finally dragged herself through the front door of her house. It was quiet inside, her mum and dad were still at work, James was probably at a friends' house and spying on their sister in the bathroom, pervy little shit. And Katie was probably fucking some random guy she just met, but she did have to hand her sister some credit, after Freddie had completely humiliated her, she wasn't as much of a slut as before. Which Emily thought was odd because she imagined Katie would crave the attention even more to try and raise her once in a lifetime low self esteem. _

_She shrugged off the thought; she didn't care about what was going on in their lives because she had so much more to worry about._

_Shit, Naomi. She shuddered as the broken image of her girlfriend sprang into her mind. Nothing had ever terrified her so much her life, but Naomi's anger and confusion was heartbreaking. She understood what Naomi and her mum were saying, she knew something wasn't right with Naomi, and she knew that she needed help. But it was all so hard to believe._

_She had seen the anger and hatred in Naomi's eyes when she first leapt at Ian for touching her, and she saw it again when Naomi grabbed the knife. But she also saw the confusion and the panic when she realised what she was doing. The way Naomi cried and clung desperately to Emily's body, and that kiss... Emily slowly raised her hand to brush her fingertips across her lips, they still tingled. _

_They had never kissed like that before, not even after Naomi had accepted that she loved Emily and they announced it to half of the college at the love ball. It was different and Emily couldn't tell whether she loved it or was afraid of it._

_Emily had managed to shift herself from her fixed position in the front hall into the kitchen; she limply lowered herself into one of the chairs and pressed her forehead to the cold table. It felt nice against the raging headache that she was unaware of until now. She sighed heavily and wondered if Naomi was at the hospital yet. She felt awful for leaving her, especially when her favourite blue eyes pleaded for her. But she couldn't do it; she needed time to think through everything. She hated that Naomi was keeping something from her, but after seeing her so terrified, she wondered whether she even wanted to know. She knew that Naomi would tell her when she felt ready; Emily knew not to push her during certain situations. Just like their relationship, Emily had known what she wanted, but Naomi was afraid of it, she was afraid of closing down the walls that she had spent building for so many years, but after a while Naomi finally realised to she needed Emily, she closed down the walls and opened up her heart, letting Emily inside. Emily knew that she should have stayed there to support her girlfriend but she knew...well...she hoped that Naomi would understand. And besides it wasn't like she was going to be alone, Cook was heading over to see her and she really did owe him an apology._

_Sighing once more, Emily grabbed her bag and ran up the stairs to her shared bedroom; she pushed herself through the door and almost screamed when she saw her twin sister lying casually on her bed whilst reading a magazine._

"_Shit! I didn't know you were home."Emily exclaimed, placing her hand over her heart which was now pumping hysterically. Katie peered over the top of her magazine grinning, but her grin formed into a frown as she looked at her younger twin._

"_Yeah, what's up? "_

"_Well, you almost gave me a heart attack, that's what's up! " Emily breathed out, dropping her bag to the floor before sitting on her bed opposite her sisters'._

"_Well yeah I can see that, but you've quite obviously been crying Ems. "Emily leaned forward and span the bedside mirror to see her reflection and Katie was right. Her eyes were puffy, her face was blotchy and the mascara she wore now stained her cheeks. She groaned and roughly tried to wipe her face with her palm but it didn't work, Katie reached for a packet of face wipes and pulled one out, handing it to Emily with a concerned smile on her face. Emily took it with a nod and began fixing the state of her face. Once she had finished, she flopped back against her pillows and stretched, a little noise escaped her mouth which Naomi would always comment on, saying how it was ridiculously cute and would often leave Emily blushing which Naomi would also find cute. The little memories didn't fail to bring a smile to her face, but she could feel Katie watching her closely._

"_It's her isn't it? Is she hurting you again Ems? I'll kick her fucking..."_

"_No Katie it isn't Naomi. "Emily cut her off slightly annoyed that Katie still blamed Naomi for anything. "Well, it is. But she hasn't done anything wrong. "Katie frowned; it didn't take much to puzzle her._

"_Well what's going on? "_

_For the first time since they were little, Emily actually felt the need to confide in her older twin. Even though they couldn't stand each other most of the time, Emily did in fact miss her. And since Katie was offering to listen to something that Emily had to say even though it didn't involve her, she took it._

_She explained everything that she knew so far, and Katie listened without saying a word, just nodded now and then and her eyes widen when something surprised her. No sarcastic comments were made and Katie didn't even cringe when Emily described the way Naomi had kissed her. Emily had to force herself not to ask if her sister had been abducted or something, it was so unlike Katie to just listen and to actually act like a sister for once._

"_Wow, that is fucked up. " Katie said finally._

"_Yeah. " Emily sighed, "And her mum reckons she needs help. "_

"_Well I could have told you that. " Katie replied with a laugh, Emily tried to smile but it couldn't quite reach her lips. Katie noticed it though, she pushed herself up from her bed and placed herself on Emily's, pulling her twin into a hug. Emily couldn't remember the last time they had hugged as when Katie got older it was "lame" to hug your sister. Emily had grown used to it, but she couldn't help but fall deeper into the embrace of familiar arms._

"_I'm scared Katie. " Emily whispered, the unwelcome tears had already begun to force their way down her cheeks as the thoughts lingered in her mind. She heard Katie murmur "I know" against her hair, which only caused her to cry more._

_Katie cradled her sister in her arms, she knew it was useless as to say it would all be alright when only a small part of her believed it. She didn't know what would happen to Naomi, knew that something was seriously wrong and that it desperately needed to be sorted. She also knew that Naomi would do anything to keep Emily safe and that worried Katie even more. How far would Naomi go to protect Emily?_

_They had ended up spending longer at the hospital than they expected. After waiting a few hours, someone finally arrived to take a look at Naomi's hand but in the end they decided to have it x-rayed to make sure no bones were broken. Luckily underneath the swelling, there was no breakage so after they cleaned up the cuts – which caused Naomi to yell in pain and almost thump the nurse, they applied a few stitches across her knuckles and bandaged it. It was uncomfortable but it wasn't too bad._

_Cook still hadn't arrived, Naomi didn't expect him to but it didn't stop the guilt from settling into her stomach and she wondered whether she had truly fucked up with him too. She prayed for a second chance, because even though Cook could be a tosser most of the time, he was still her best friend. After he returned in the summer from visiting his wanker of a dad, Cook become much closed off from the group, he wasn't being a typical sleaze and trying to get into every girls' knickers. He even stopped pursuing Effy once she and Freddie got together; he stood back and decided to let his best friend be happy even if it hurt him to watch them together. During the nights out that the group spent at one of Thomas's clubs, Cook would eventually wonder off to sit at the bar by himself and drink until he was completely off his face. The whole group noticed it especially since he stopped making comments about wanting a shag, but none of them seemed too bothered about his odd behaviour. Naomi however, knew there was a different side to Cook, she had seen it herself the day that she had almost "willy waggled" with him. She found him one day, sat alone in an empty park with a bottle of vodka, so she decided to join him. It was awkward at first; she didn't have an excuse to smack him since he didn't address her as "Blondie" or "Naomikins" and didn't ask for a shag or a threesome with her and Emily. But after the vodka and some spliff, it eventually became easier for the both of them to talk._

_Flashback_

"So if you're not happy with them being together, why are you letting them? " She asked him as they led back on the grass, passing the vodka between them.

"Because she doesn't want me and I was fooling myself when I thought she did. It's always been Freddie. I never thought I'd fall for a girl that was supposed to be just an enjoyable shag. "He sighed, taking a huge swig of Vodka.

"Ditto" Naomi smiled, mainly to herself as she thought about a certain red head.

"So why did it take you so long to realise that you love the muff? "She couldn't help but laugh at his way of phrasing it; she leaned over and snatched the bottle from him, taking a few swigs of the liquid before replying.

"I'm not sure. I'm not sure if I was afraid because she's a girl or if I was afraid of allowing someone to love me and me love them. "

"Yeah, I let two people into my life and they both fucked it up. " Cook stared at the ground as he tore the strands of grass from the earth and crumpled them in his fist before throwing the evidence behind him and starting on a new patch. Naomi could hear the hurt in his voice as he spoke even though he tried to cover it up with his I-don't-give-a-fuck attitude.

"Do you mean your dad? "

"If that's what you can even call him. Fucking prick. "Naomi laughed.

"Yeah. I've always wondered what I'd say if I ever met my dad. "Cook rolled over so he was lying on his stomach, his brow furrowed as he looked at the blonde next to him.

"So you've never met your dad? " Naomi tapped her painted nails against the glass bottle before bringing it up to her lips.

"Nope. He fucked off when he found out mum was pregnant with me. "She took a couple more swigs of vodka, which was now alarmingly low. She felt a little uncomfortable; she never spoke about her dad, not even to Emily. But with Cook it was...different, she felt a strange connection with the boy.

"Wow. "

"What?"

"Dunno Blondie, I always imagined you having comfy life with the typical family traditions and shit. "

"Haha not a chance, unless you count communal living as a tradition. I'm glad she's stopped that shit now, even if it is for her new prick of a boyfriend. At least I don't have to worry about waking up to find some man in my bed." She rolled her eyes, thinking back to the day when she woke up to find the "Messiah" in her bed.

"I could change that. "Cook wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Naomi laughed and punched his arm playfully, she couldn't believe that she actually missed Cooks pervyness, only in a friendly way of course, it just made Cook who he was.

"Ah Cook. What are we going to do with you? "He pushed himself up on his elbow, eying her suspiciously.

"Why do you care, Naomi?" The formal use of her name told her that he was serious, but the question didn't come to her as a surprise since she had been wondering it herself.

"I don't know. I guess you remind me of myself..." Her voice didn't hint any form of sarcasm or humour. "You're kind of like the brother I never had. " Her tone was serious, but her voice was small, only loud enough for Cook to hear her. He didn't reply, just led back down on his back and interlaced his fingers with hers as an instant bond was made between them.

_Naomi waited outside of the hospital whilst her mum went into town to get them some food, she couldn't be bothered to go with her, couldn't stand anymore of the awkward silence. She just wanted her mum to say something, anything. But she didn't, she didn't utter a single word during their time inside the hospital. It infuriated her, but at the same time it made her feel so alone and she knew that if she heard her mum speak, all she would hear is her disappointed tone, disappointed in her daughter. She didn't even know the reasons the reasons behind Naomi's actions, she probably had no intentions of finding them out either, all of her concern was now focused on sending Naomi away to "sort her out." _

_Naomi sighed, bringing her cigarette up to her lips and inhaling the smoke, she held it in her lungs for a few seconds before exhaling and loving the nicotine rush. It was cold outside and she cursed when it slowly started to rain as she had no jacket and knew her mum wouldn't be back for a while. She pushed herself up from the bench that she was sat on and jogged over to a bus stop, taking shelter under the plastic roof. She took a finally drag of her fag before flicking it across the road, only for it to get diverted by the strong wind. She sighed again and didn't bother to sit down, hated the stupid little seats, you couldn't sit on them properly and they made your arse feel like a rock, so she continued to stand with her arms crossed over her chest and stared out across the parking lot. She allowed her mind to become distracted as she tried to name the different cars, she barely knew any of them, apart from the obvious ones, but she became so oblivious to her surroundings and the only thing that snapped her back to reality was the strong arms that snaked around her waist. It was a familiar embrace and she instantly felt comforted, allowing herself to lean back into a warm chest and a chin rested upon her head._

"_Cook." She whispered_

"_What the fuck happened Naomi? I've been worried." His stern voice made her jump a little, he only ever formally used her name if he was pissed off, upset, or worried. And right now it was a mix of all three. She didn't want him to be mad or upset with her, she desperately needed him, needed to see the side of him that he only ever showed to her. She turned towards him and snuggled into his chest, half expecting him to push her away, relieved when his arms tightened around her and placed a kiss on her forehead. They stayed that way for a while, from the tightness of his hold, Naomi knew that he had forgiven her, but she knew that she had some explaining to do. Her chest tightened at the thought of it, she couldn't lie to Cook, he was like Effy, he saw straight through her words, he knew which ones were truthful and which ones weren't. But unlike Effy, he would make her talk about it; he would stop being a pervy bastard and would turn into her concerned brother._

_She pulled back after a while and looked up at him, her eyes fixed her his slightly bruised face which was caused by her, and she reached up and lightly brushed her fingers across the purple mark._

"_I'm sorry." She whispered again, he chuckles and pulls her hand away, threading his fingers through hers. _

"_You've got a surprisingly hard head Naomikins. " She smiled lightly at her nickname, feeling a little better now that the atmosphere had softened._

_She pulls away from Cook at the sound of a car horn behind them, She spotted her mother's car across from them, she tugged on Cook's hand for him to follow her, they climb into the backseat of the car and again, no words are exchanged between her and her mother. She doesn't even say hi to Cook, so he doesn't bother either._

_The journey home is almost painful from the silence, but once they park outside of the Campbell's house, Naomi and Cook quickly retreat to the bedroom, she apologises for the state of her room and he looks surprised as he looks at the state of it but chuckles again. They manage to sort out her bed before sitting on it, Cook pulls out a spliff and lights it, and they lay back on her bed in a comfortable silence as they pass the spliff between each other. It's not until Cook stubs it out in the ashtray that he says anything._

"_You said something after you punched me. You said "How does it fucking feel. " How does what feel Naomi? "_

_She bit her lip as the memory ran through her mind, she couldn't remember it clearly but she knew what he was on about. She closed her eyes and bit down harder on her bottom lip whilst trying to think of something to say._

"_What happened, Naomi? " His voice was completely serious again, Naomi could feel tears forming behind her closed lids, and she reached out and grabbed Cook's hand as she struggled to find words to explain._

"_The party that we had on Friday, the one that the police crashed..." She squeezed his hand tighter as she continued to struggle for words, she felt so fucking sick that she wanted to cry, she could already feel the lump in her throat. Her voice was lower than a whisper and panicky when she spoke again._

"_I had to take the long route home...to avoid getting caught...and on the way back..." Her voice cracked and her tears betrayed her as they escaped the corners of her eyes and trickled down her face. Her heart was pounding, the lump in her throat swelled as she relived the incident in her mind, she felt like she was being strangled, her breathing became fast and heavy and she gripped Cook's hand so hard she thought she might break it. She swallowed hard and opened her mouth to say the last three words._

"_I was raped"_

_Cook froze beside her, his body tensed as his mind sought to process her words. Naomi sobbed hard and curled her body up as she tried to block out the memories that tormented her. She wanted to scream, wanted the images to disappear forever. She wanted to forget his voice that echoed in her mind, she wanted to forget his disgusting touch, the rough skin against her delicate pale skin. The feel of him, the smell of him, everything about him she wanted to forget, she didn't want to imagine him out there, probably feeling fucking proud of himself for what he done. She wanted him to be gone; she didn't want to worry about seeing him again. _

_I'll kill him, I'll fucking kill him if he ever crosses my path again, She vowed to herself. But it didn't stop the heavy flow of tears. Cook was still frozen beside her, but he managed to snap out of it for long enough to wrap his arms around Naomi's tiny form, he cradled her against his chest as she continued to sob, she pressed closer to him and his arms tightened. She didn't want to feel a gap between them and she didn't want the tight hold to ever stop. Even though she felt protected in his arms, it didn't stop the fear from seeping through her at the echo of the voice in her head. She cried harder, trying to form words through her tears._

"_He...He said he'd kill me if I ever t-told anyone. "_

_Instinctively Cook tightened his hold even more so that Naomi was almost crushed to his chest; it was a protective hold, to show her that he understood and that he'd do everything to keep her safe. Cook knew he would because he loved Naomi more than anything, even if he did harmlessly flirt with her, it showed how comfortable they were with each other, but it meant nothing more. Naomi was his little sister, just one that didn't share the same blood or parents as him. But that didn't matter because they had such a special bond that nobody could come between, or understand. Naomi understood him, she saw the boy underneath his careless exterior, she knew that it was a front and she knew the reasons behind his recklessness. It surprised them both when they realised how much in common they had, on the outside they were complete opposites. But on the inside they were very much the same. _

_He couldn't bring himself to say anything, just held her as she sobbed into his chest. He was still trying to process her words, turning them over in his mind. He had never seen her look so vulnerable before, everyone saw her as a hard headed bitch, she was strong and nobody could stand in her way. But only he and Emily knew that she was really a complete different person underneath her steel coating. But then Cook began to wonder whether Emily knew how vulnerable Naomi really was. Cook didn't think so, he knew that Naomi hated showing that she had a soft side, let alone an emotional one. But he didn't care, Naomi didn't have to hide from him and after he finally accepted her words, he knew he would do everything to keep her safe._

"_Can you keep it secret? " Naomi mumbled into the material of his top. He leaned down and kissed her temple as his answer, he still couldn't speak, and he was too worried that his mouth would say things against his will. But he knew that Naomi would understand his simple gesture._

_They lie there for hours, not saying a word. Naomi's sobs eventually quietened and was replaced by heavy breathing as she fell asleep in Cook's arms. He lifted her up from the bed and pulled back the covers, setting her down against the pillows. He moved in beside her and pulled the duvet over them before reaching out and wrapping Naomi's sleeping form in his arms, she turned to him and curled her arm around his waist and settled into the crook of his neck. They both fell into a deep slumber and Naomi's wasn't disturbed by nightmares as she settled against Cook's body until morning._

**I'm really sorry for the slight delay but here you are! I hope you like it, the next chapter is the last chapter of Naomi at seventeen, and instead we'll be going into her life 3 years later. You excited? Please review and let me know what you think (: **

**Oh and everyone enjoy skins tonight! I know I certainly will**_._


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay so Skins series 4 has started amazingly! So excited for the next episode.**

**Again, thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter, it means a lot (: **

**To Mefs: Are you like, seriously sick in the head or something? I'm a sixteen year old girl, I am not a rapist, and my writing is based on things that people close to me have experienced. Jesus, do you think that when people write about vampires and werewolves that they actually are one? Sicko. I'm a teenage girl who enjoys writing not a rapist. **

**Okay so I've decided to cut this chapter into two parts because it's quite long and I wanted to give you guys an update since it's been a while. So this is part 1.**

**I do not own skins! Sadly ):**

**

* * *

  
**

**Chapter 6 Part 1**

_The light that filtered into the room stung Naomi's eyes even behind her closed lids, she groaned and rolled onto her side, expecting to meet the body that slept with her last night, she leaned forward to cuddle into Cook's chest only to realise that he was no longer there. She sat up and looked around her room, squinting against the glaring rays that disturbed her from her peaceful sleep. She felt her heart sink a little, it was nice being in his arms, and it made her feel safe. She was feeling slightly happy until she remembered what she told him whilst they were lying on her bed._

_Shit, she sighed. It made her feel better at the time, but now she was nervous about seeing him, or anyone for that matter. She remembered telling him to keep it secret, and she knew he would, but that didn't make any of it right. She now expected things between them to be awkward and weird, just like it would be with the rest of them. She didn't even want to think of how things would be with Emily, she tried not to think of her at all but she couldn't stop herself from retrieving her mobile from within the mess of her room, it hurt when she found she had zero messages or missed calls. She dropped it on the floor, and raked her fingers through her knotted locks. She was still wearing the same clothes as yesterday so she decided to search for something suitable to wear before pushing her way into the bathroom for a shower._

_The shower didn't take her long as she luckily didn't fall into a trance like last time, she was soon dressed and making her way downstairs and into the kitchen to make a coffee. It surprised her when she found her mother sat at the table drinking a cup of tea and Cook searching through the cupboards as he made breakfast. He smiled at her when she walked in and nodded towards the empty seat. She leaned over and switched the kettle on before she settled down to apply a new bandage as the old one got slightly wet in the shower, she underestimated how hard it could be to shower whilst keeping your arm out of reach from the water._

_Gina still wasn't speaking to her, but she did smile weakly when Naomi looked up at her, which she lightly returned. She jumped up when the kettle finished boiling and made a strong coffee that she desperately needed. She eventually began to stare of into the distance, only to be pulled back into reality as Cook started shovelling food onto her plate and quickly kissed her temple, she smiled at him and he brushed his hand over her arm before turning back to finish cooking. It was a simple but sweet gesture and she soon realised she was incredibly hungry as she started nibbling at her surprisingly good breakfast. Eventually they were all sat down eating in silence until Gina finally spoke up, surprising Naomi._

"_I spoke to someone today and we've found a good place for you to start therapy." _

_Naomi's appetite instantly plummeted and she found herself pushing the food around on her plate with the tip of her fork. She knew this conversation was going to arise but she didn't expect it to be so soon. She nodded her head without looking up from her plate, waiting for her mum to continue._

"_I spoke to a therapist over in Cornwall; apparently he's one of the best in the whole country and he's dealt with situations like yours before. Once I told him the severity of your condition, he wanted to get you started right away. "_

_Cornwall? Is she fucking with me? Where the hell would I live for god's sake? And "my condition"? Great, I sound like I'm a fucking lunatic. _

_She couldn't stop all the thoughts that were spinning around in her mind, being in Cornwall would change everything, she wouldn't see her friends, seeing Emily would be a struggle even though she'd do everything in her power to see her. And what about college? Sure she could transfer as the year has only just started, but everything would become difficult. Cornwall seriously?_

_Naomi opened her mouth to speak but it seemed that Gina was able to read her thoughts through her facial expressions and was able to answer a few of them._

"_Do you remember that little cottage we used to stay in when we used to go there on holiday? " Naomi nodded. "Well, I never did tell you that it actually belongs to one of my cousins, you were probably too young to remember him. But I spoke to him last night; he said that you can live there for free as long as you don't trash the place. "_

_Naomi's eyes widened, they used to go on holiday to Cornwall every year up until she was about nine. She loved the place, a small but comfortable cottage out in the country side. She always found it peaceful and easy to relax there. They would usually spend two weeks there in the summer, and within that time Naomi felt inspired to do something creative, whether it was just writing or drawing. She really did love it there, and she'd love to go back. But live there? And what about her and Emily? She couldn't leave her, but she couldn't tell her to leave home to live with her. Shit. She needed Emily more than anyone; she needed Emily to help her through it all._

"_You need to do what's best for you, Naomi. Stop worrying about everyone else. "Gina had obviously noticed that Naomi was stressing with her thoughts. Probably because her eyes were now closed and her jaw set as she clenched her teeth together, she hadn't realised that she was doing it but she didn't relax. She knew her mother was right, she nearly always was, but that didn't stop the fact that she was suddenly being shipped off to Cornwall, by herself! In any other circumstance she wouldn't have cared, in fact she would have been grateful for it and wouldn't question her leaving. But not now, not when she had Emily and her friends, when she couldn't get them to go with her. She bit down on her bottom lip so hard that she grimaced as she tasted the coppery tang of her blood. She turned to Cook, who had stopped eating as well; she needed to know his point of view because he always knew what was best for her, she knew he wouldn't lie._

"_James..."Her voice was small but pleading, in any other situation, Cook would have smacked her for using his first name but right now it didn't matter. He pushed his plate to the side and leaned over the table and took both of her hands in his, looking directly in to her pained blue eyes._

"_Naomi, as much as I don't want you to leave, your mum's right. You have to do what's best for you now. If you decide that you don't need to go through with this then that's great. But I know you, Naomikins, you may be a sarcastic, moody bitch when you want to be, but you're not angry. If someone told me a week ago that you'd fly off the handle, I would have died laughing. But here you are, battered and bruised and ready to kill anyone that pisses you off. "Naomi weakly smiled, mainly at the comment of her being a sarcastic, moody cow. It was true, Naomi wasn't an angry person, she knew how to keep her defences by throwing out a sarcastic comment and could easily give someone the finger and tell them to fuck off, but none of it involved anger. She opened her mouth to reply but Cook cut her off. "However, if you decide that you need to do this, then we will all be behind you with every step. You'll never lose us babe because we'll be doing everything to get back the bitchy blondie that we all know and love." He grinned stupidly, causing Naomi to burst out laughing. She loved seeing this side of him and she loved that she was the only person who got to, she knew Cook hated showing his soft side and would rather die than show it to anyone else._

_Naomi turned the thoughts over and over in her mind, knowing she had the support from Cook and the rest of her friends made the whole idea slightly more bearable, but what about Emily, how would she react? She knew that Emily would also want her to do what's best for her, especially since she was here to witness one of Naomi's outbursts. But what would she think to the idea of her moving to Cornwall? Their relationship was strong, but was it strong enough to handle long distance? Naomi hoped so and she hoped that Emily would understand that she needed to do this. She needed to become normal again instead of being a constant threat and worrying about who might get caught in the crossfire of her next outburst. And in Cornwall, she knew she'd be safe, she wouldn't have to worry about seeing "him" or trying to kill Ian. The thought made her smile, she knew that even after all of this that she and Ian would never get along, he's a prick now and shall continue to be a prick for as long as he lives. _

_Naomi sighed, her mind was set. She forced her eyes away from the table and up to the similar blue eyes of her mothers._

"_When do I leave? "_

"_They want you to be there tomorrow afternoon at the latest so that they can get you registered straight away. "Naomi's eyes widened again, her eyebrows almost reaching her hairline._

"_So I'm going today?! " Gina nodded slowly._

"_Fucking hell." Naomi breathed out, sinking further into her chair. She closed her eyes and shook her head for a second or two, trying to allow it all to register but it all continued to swim around in her mind. A part of her was glad that there wouldn't be a delay, the sooner she could start then the sooner she could get better. But it didn't stop the sudden nerves and the horrible realisation of her leaving. She'd be leaving everything, her home, Emily, her friends, college, she'd be leaving all of the things that were now so familiar to her, the things that she could find comfort in. _

_But those things were never going to truly leave her; they'd all still be there for when she was normal again. She knew she wouldn't lose her friends or Emily; they would be the important factors of getting better, right?_

"_I need to pack, I need to see everyone. Shit, how am I going to see them all in time? "Naomi mumbled as she pushed herself up from her chair. It was meant to be aimed at Cook and her mum but she knew she was talking more to herself._

"_Don't worry babe I already called them all, they should be coming round soon. "She opened her mouth to ask the obvious question but Cook beat her to it._

"_Emily included."_

_She nodded and turned to leave the room; she got to the doorway and stopped as another question popped into her mind. She turned back to look at Cook, her arms folded across her chest._

"_Why did you call them if you didn't know whether I'd be going or not? " Cook just simply smirked._

"_Because I know you babe. " She smiled._

"_Yeah, come up when they arrive. " She turned back and ran to her bedroom. _

_She leaned against the door and looked around at the mess that she created, she regretted it. This room was filled with memories of her and Emily from before and after they got together, it was special to both of them even in its current state, but she knew that even if the room was turned upside down and stripped of everything, their memories would still linger._

_She made her way across the room towards her bed, picking up random items of clothing that were left on the floor, she sat down on the end of her bed and began to fold them. She had only folded a couple of them but she found herself staring blankly at the wall in front of her, no thoughts crossed her mind._

_She wasn't sure how long she stared at the wall for, but the sudden bang of her door opening snapped her back into reality, she looked up to see her friends walking into her room, but her eyes fixed on the one person she didn't expect to see, she couldn't stop her lips from turning up into a grin._

"_Katie Fitch. Now what do I owe the honour? "Katie stopped and placed her hands on her hips for her usual don't-fucking-mess-with-me stance, but from the slight quavering of her lips, Naomi instantly knew that she was struggling not to grin as well. It didn't last long, so instead the twin settled for a smirk._

"_Fuck off lezza. I'm only here because they told me I had to come. "Naomi laughed at her awful lie._

"_Sure, whatever Katiekins. You love me really."_

"_Keep dreaming lezza, hands off the muff, remember? "_

"_Gotcha. As long as that doesn't include your sisters then we're good. "Katie's mouth fell open in horror causing Naomi to burst out into a fit of giggles, she clutched her sides as she laughed and looked up at the horror struck twin through teary eyes._

"_Ew, that's my sister! You're disgusting!" Her reaction only caused Naomi to laugh harder and the rest of the group started laughing as well. Katie looked around at them, huffed in annoyance and started rummaging through a pile of Naomi's stuff._

"_Be careful Katie, you might find the strap on in there. " Effy said casually as she sat down next to Naomi who was now rolling around on her bed, crying from laughter. Freddie followed her and wrapped his arm around the brunette's shoulder, if Naomi had been paying attention she would have noticed Cook slightly tense, but she was too busy laughing at Katie who jumped away from the pile as if it were a disease and muttering every curse under the sun._

"_Oh whizzer, Eff. Do you think they use this to lube it up? "Pandora asked excitedly as she held up a small bottle of Durex "tingle" lubrication. Naomi stopped laughing as her eyes fell upon the bottle in her friends hand, her head turned slowly to look at the brunette sat next to her who was looking straight back at her, both of their mouths slightly open. After a second of looking at each other the two girls' started laughing uncontrollably, Effy had given Naomi the lube as a joke when her and Emily finally started dating, Naomi was slightly worried when she handed it to her but it soon became their own little joke. After showing it to Emily, who was equally as scared as Naomi had been when she received it, she threw it into her drawer and had forgotten about it, but it was still as amusing to the two girls as it had been on the day it happened. _

_Still slightly giggling, Naomi looked up happily at the friends in her room. Katie was still wandering around her room rummaging through Naomi's stuff, probably being more careful now after the strap on joke. They weren't exactly friends but they were civilised, and in some weird way Naomi found it nice to have her there. JJ was stood looking slightly amused but more nervous in front of her bedroom door beside Cook, who was grinning and laughing along with the jokes. Pandora was leant against Thomas, looking bewildered as she continued to look at the bottle of lube, grinning as she showed Thomas who was smiling down at his girlfriend as he listened to her babble excitedly about how her mum would go "rah rah" if she found it in her bedroom. And Effy who was cuddled in Freddie's arms, she was still smiling which obviously made Freddie smile, Naomi couldn't help but think about how they were actually incredibly good together, and how their relationship was similar to hers and Emily's. And that's when it hit her._

_She looked around her room, her eyes meeting the smiling faces of her friends, but they didn't meet the loving face of her girlfriend. She instantly felt guilty for not realising sooner that Emily was not there with them, it felt good to laugh but it didn't feel good to know that her beloved red head was not there to enjoy it with her._

"_Katie, where's Emily? "_

_The atmosphere in the room turned serious in that moment mixed with the anxiety from her friends. Katie turned to face the blonde, biting her lip as she sought the right words to answer her question._

"_She ran out when she got the call, we don't know where she is. I thought she may have already come here but obviously not. "_

_Obviously, Naomi thought as she felt her heart sink. She knew exactly where Emily would go if she wasn't at hers or at home, but why would she go there on her own when they may only have a few hours left together? She shook her head and tried to ignore the slight spark of anger inside of her._

"_Great"she said before pushing herself up from her bed to help sort through her things. "That's just fucking great."She was too annoyed to worry; instead she impatiently grabbed some of her stuff like books and unbroken ornaments and shoved them into a bag. Nobody said anything when the petite red head suddenly entered into her room, the blonde was completely unaware as she had her back to the door._

"_So you're actually going through with this?! " Emily snapped, causing Naomi to jump and exclaimed in surprise, she whirled around and met the eyes of her angry girlfriend, growling in frustration._

"_For fucks sake Ems, you're going to kill me one day if you keep creeping up on me like that. "_

"_Yeah well you're not going to be here for me to creep up on you. "Emily spat back nastily._

_Naomi froze, her mouth agape as her girlfriends' spite shocked and pained her. It hurt deeper than anything, she believed that she would have Emily's support, she could understand her being upset but her words were bitter, her voice which was usually gentle and husky was now thick with sarcasm and anger, and her usual soft, warm brown eyes were now dark and hard, showing no regret at her words, instead they just burned with fury._

_Naomi was speechless, she laughed ever so slightly and shook her head, she turned away quickly as her throat began to burn and continued to sort through her things, she angrily threw unwanted items to the side and shoved the rest into her bag, but tears instantly streaked her face when her hand landed on a certain book titled "Wuthering heights. " Naomi knew that the book was lame, but for some unknown reason since she was a child she had always wanted to read it but always forgot to borrow it from a library, she had mentioned it to Emily and the next day she presented her with the book, explaining that she read it in school and forgot to return it. _

_Naomi smiled at the memory as her fingers brushed against its cover, she picked it up but instead of placing it in her bag, she turned and strode towards the smaller girl and slammed the book into her chest with slightly more force than she had intended. _

"_Keep it" she snarled between her teeth, she turned away just as a small but tight grip formed on her wrist, pulling her back. _

_She was pulled back towards Emily, who then let go of her wrist and reached up with both hands to cup her face, Naomi cracked when her eyes met the brown eyes that were no longer hard, instead they were soft, pleading and full of tears._

"_I'm sorry, Naomi. I'm so sorry. "_

_Naomi reached up and placed her hands over Emily's, stroking the back of them lightly with her thumb. She leaned down and lightly kissed the red heads forehead before turning to face their friends who currently looked awkward and slightly nervous from seeing the sudden outbursts from the two girls'._

"_Can we just have 5 minutes, please? "_

_They all nodded and began to shuffle their way out of Naomi's room, Katie reached out and slightly squeezed Emily's shoulder and gave Naomi a slight smile before exiting the room. _

_Naomi moved away from the contact and locked her bedroom door before turning back to pull her girlfriend tightly into her arms. They stayed like that for a while with Emily's head resting against her chest; she placed small kisses on top of the soft red hair, travelling down her face, along her jaw until Emily turned and caught the blonde's lips with hers. The kiss was soft and sweet but still left them gasping for air when they finally broke away. They settled with resting their foreheads together and smiling timidly at each other. They relished the moment, all the bitterness from before had dispersed into unconditional love whilst they were wrapped up in each other's arms._

"_So where do we go from here?"_

_

* * *

  
_

**So there's part 1 for you. I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while I've had terrible writers block and this end chapter is quite important because the rest of the story depends on how this part ends. So I decided to cut it into two parts so I could give you a quicker update and not rush the whole thing. I'll get the next one up soon I promise.**

**Review please, it makes me happy (:**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guys I'm so sorry for the delay, I was visiting my family for about two weeks and they don't have the internet so I wasn't able to update. But on a positive note, it did cure my writers block and I've pretty much planned the rest of the story, and I'm pretty sure you guys will like it. But obviously if you don't then please tell me! I accept all criticism because it will help me to become a better writer. **

**So here's part two and we will be going into the future. Enjoy! Oh and this chapter contains Naomily action, if this will offend you in any way then please don't read.**

**I do not own skins!**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 6 Part 2

_They continued to pack the last of Naomi's stuff whilst they spoke of their decisions to their relationship. It was going to be hard for both of them with the distance and college taking up the majority of their time, and considering the very little money either of them had. Naomi's money would go towards her supply of food and other necessities and Emily's parents wouldn't even consider giving her extra money if it involved her seeing Naomi, they'd be over the moon about her leaving and would do anything to prevent them from seeing each other. So their only options was to save the little money that they would have left over and get a job. Separating wasn't an option on either of their lists, they knew that they loved each other enough to fight through the hard times, and they would prove to Emily's parents and anyone else who doubted them that their love for each other was strong and true, they would show that this was serious and they knew that in the end their relationship would come out stronger in the end._

_The 5 minutes that they had intended on using to talk over things had slowly turned into an hour, and even though Naomi's mind was telling her to go and see her friends, she couldn't find the strength to pull away from Emily as they lay cuddled up on her bed, she didn't want the moment to end and she especially didn't want it to end by her having to leave to Cornwall, however she knew that she was hoping for the impossible. The thought of leaving Emily was agonizing and for a moment she considered calling the whole thing off, but she knew that if she did that then the whole situation would become unnecessarily worse and it was better to accept that things weren't right now rather than later. As much as she didn't want any of it to happen, a small part of her was curious as to what her new life would hold for her, she wasn't interested in making friends or starting a real life there, this was just going to be a short period of time so that she could get better and get things sorted for herself._

_A quiet sniffle broke her away from her thoughts as she pushed herself up on her elbow to look at the girl lying next to her with tears rolling down her cheeks, Emily looked away to avoid meeting the concerned blue eyes that were scanning her face but soft fingers were placed on her chin and her face was pulled back towards the blonde. No words were exchanged as they gazed into each others' eyes, they both knew what was wrong and no words could change the situation or making either of them feel better about what was happening, instead Naomi dipped her head and pressed her lips to Emily's who kissed her back eagerly, curling her hand around Naomi's neck and pulling her in to deepen the kiss. Their lips moulded together and their tongues crashed together in a lustful frenzy as they tugged on each others' clothing to remove it._

_Naomi's hands brushed over the soft, pale skin beneath her, she broke away from Emily's red lips and started kissing and biting down her neck, Emily moaned and dragged her nails down her back, Naomi could feel the fire blazing in her chest as their bare skin touched and she slipped her hand across Emily's ribs and up her back until she found her bra strap which she opened with ease, pulling the material away and throwing it to the floor. She placed wet kisses around Emily's breast before teasing her erect nipple with her tongue, flicking it and then biting it gently. The red head moaned as her hot mouth caressed her skin, she breathed heavily and squeezed her eyes shut as one hand reached out to lock her fingers in the soft blonde hair whilst her other hand tangled in her own hair. _

_Naomi's mouth left her breast and reached up to kiss Emily's slightly parted lips, her fingers fumbled with the button on her jeans, quickly opening them and slid them down her thighs. Emily pushed herself up to allow the material to be removed from her legs, kicking them off when they were low enough and did the same with her knickers, she quickly worked to rid Naomi of the last of her clothing._

_Their lips met in a fiery kiss as their naked bodies moved together. Naomi passionately kissed the red head beneath her, but as her hands travelled down to her hips, the mood soon changed. They weren't biting and groping instead they were kissing softly, touching instead of scratching, their bodies moved as one as Naomi's hand stroked across her hips and slipped down between Emily's silky thighs, her back arched as the blonde's fingers rubbed against her throbbing centre. Naomi's heart swelled as the girl she loved more than life itself clung to her; she loved how her body reacted to every slight move that she made and how she'd kiss her desperately even though she'd break away seconds after to gasp for breath and how her voice sounded huskier as she began to moan out her name. _

_Naomi pushed two fingers up inside of her and kissed Emily deeply to capture the moan that almost escaped her lips. As precious as the moment was, she still knew that they had company downstairs and knew that none of them would appreciate the sounds of their love making. Adding a third digit and pushing deeper inside, the thrusting of Emily's hips and her moans became more frequent and Naomi knew that she was close. Her fingers moved faster and harder causing Emily to bury her face into the blonde's neck to muffle the sound of her screams. With one more thrust and curl of her fingers, Emily threw her head back onto the pillow, her back arched as a shudder of pleasure rippled through her body and then lightly sunk back into the bed, still clinging to Naomi and panting, a thin line of sweat covered her heaving body._

_Naomi slipped down and pulled the panting red head into her side and gently kissed her damp forehead, her cute button nose, her flushed cheeks before finally kissing her swollen lips, Emily giggled at her little signs of affection and nuzzled into her neck, sighing with contentment. Naomi smiled and stroked the soft red hair that rested on her shoulder blade._

"_I love you" Emily whispered, her hot breath against Naomi's neck made her shiver with delight._

"_I love you too. "_

_They stayed like that for a while until Naomi noticed that the small, graceful breaths against her neck had settled to an even pace, she pulled back ever so slightly to look at the girl that was now sleeping against her, she looked so peaceful that in any other situation, Naomi wouldn't have had the heart to wake her but she still had a few things to pack and couldn't leave her friends downstairs for much longer or they'd probably break down her bedroom door and demand to see her._

_She sighed, leaning down to press small kisses on the girls' face until she began to stir, a gentle smile disturbed her peaceful features as her eyes slowly fluttered open, revealing two deep brown orbs that twinkled with her smile. Naomi had to force herself not to giggle as the red head stretched, making a little noise that could have been mistaken for a squeak. No matter how many times she heard it, she still found it completely adorable just like she had the first time, it was one of the small things that Emily would do that would make Naomi fall even more in love with her._

"_Gotta get up sleepy head. "Naomi whispered softly, smiling at Emily's effortless attempt to shove her, instead it was more like a poke._

"_I know." Emily sighed. They eventually but slowly got up from the bed and pulled their clothes back on, Naomi quickly packed the last few items in her bedroom before they made their way downstairs, hand in hand._

_The rest of the group were sat in the kitchen with Naomi's mum, they had brought in a few more chairs for extra seats but Effy had for some reason decided to sit on the kitchen counter, it was a typical Effy thing and it made Naomi smile. They all looked up as the couple walked into the room, both Effy and Cook had a slight grin on their face, and Naomi soon realised that maybe Emily had been louder than she thought, but she was grateful when they didn't say anything._

_Naomi's last few hours were odd, they all stayed in the kitchen and talked, Cook had retrieved a bottle of vodka from the cupboard and everyone was a lot lighter after a couple of shots. It was nice, they spoke of the memories they had all shared, her and Katie still continued to bitch at each other but it didn't have the same venom as it used to, this time they were actually joking and being overly friendly. Maybe Naomi had misjudged the bitchy Fitch, or maybe the rock that Effy hit her with had finally knocked some niceness into her. Either way, it was nice to not want to spit something horrible at her for once._

_And for once it wasn't just a few of them that were making conversation, it was all of them. They talked about memories, the bad times and the good times, and what they intended to do once they left college. Thomas and Pandora were going to take a holiday to his home town so that he could show her how life is different over there, it was sweet really, and Naomi were slightly jealous that she couldn't go._

_Cook was just going to carry on as normal, he was going to try and get through the rest of college without getting himself into trouble and then get a job and sort things out for himself. Naomi couldn't help but feel proud of him, it was nice to see that he was trying to turn things around._

_Freddie was considering university but he wasn't entirely sure, Effy barely gave an answer but she'd probably follow in her brothers footsteps and go to uni, Naomi just hoped that she wouldn't stop herself just because she felt like she needed to stay back for her mum. She could understand why Effy wouldn't want to leave her mum on her own, but it wasn't fair that she'd be giving up her future for it._

_JJ wanted to go to university but he was also worried about leaving his mum, he then spoke of doing something to try and help children with special needs, and then started ranting about how children need better support than what they get and that he probably wouldn't be as "mental" if his mother fucking, cock sucking, twat of a psychiatrist" would actually listen to him and not just tell him to not do something, Freddie then had to shout at him to get him to shut the fuck up because he was getting locked on. It almost completely put Naomi off of going to see a psychiatrist and having therapy, but this guy was supposed to be the best, so it couldn't hurt to try._

_Emily was considering university, she wanted to become an English teacher (which they all cringed at) and Katie wanted to do something that involved fashion (obviously)._

_And Naomi, she wasn't too sure. Her first plans were just to get through college and to get better so that she wouldn't have to stay in Cornwall for long, she wanted to go to university to study politics and she wanted to go to the same university as Emily so that they could be together, so they had both decided to leave their decision until it was closer to the time._

_After the second bottle of vodka was finished, the spliffs were soon cracked out. "Got to make it a night to remember won't be the same after Blondie leaves. " That was Cook's reason and it was a good enough reason for the rest of them but before they knew it, the time was already approaching to 5pm, and Naomi's taxi would be there any minute._

_She panicked as she rushed around gathering the last of her things; she didn't want to leave anything but most of all she didn't want to cry and had to keep her mind of it, but she couldn't breathe and soon the tears were streaming down her face and when the taxi arrived, she thought she was going to faint. Her chest was tight as well as her stomach and the sudden realisation hit her hard._

_This was really happening._

_No one knew what to say when she re-entered the room with her suitcase and bags, instead they all silently helped her take them out and load them into the back of the taxi, she told the driver that she'd be ready as soon as she said her goodbyes._

_Now came the hardest part._

_Still no one was able to speak because they knew that if they did, Naomi wouldn't be able to leave. And she had to do it, she just had to even though it was tearing her up inside._

_Cook hugged her first, he pulled her into a tight, brotherly hug and just held her, resting her chin on the top of her head and stroking her back, she held him tightly and buried her face into his chest, she clenched her fists to try and stop her tears but it was impossible. Cook pressed a kiss to the top of her head before pulling back to allow someone else to hug her._

_Panda was next, she literally jumped on top of Naomi as she burst into tears, she sobbed innocently and it reminded Naomi of a child, she thought it was sweet. She held her tightly and softly muttered things against her hair to calm her down, which she did eventually, Thomas hugged her afterwards and Naomi did not realise how broad he was, her body crushed comfortably against his strong biceps, even though his body was hard, he somehow managed to make his hugs so comforting, and when he pulled away, Panda buried into his chest and continued to sob._

_Next was Freddie, his body was like an ironing board compared to Cooks and Thomas's, but he was still comforting and his hugs were somehow familiar. They had never really been close, she and Freddie, but he had always been a good friend to her, and he actually looked devastated that she was leaving. He rocked her slightly in his arms before pulling away and giving her a sweet smile and stepping back to reveal Effy who was trying desperately to not cry, but even her hard side and crumbled in the situation. The blonde and the brunette stared at each other for a few seconds before they both moved at the same time to fill in the gap, it was when she was clinging to Effy that she started crying hysterically, her body shook with uncontrolled sobs but Effy just held her tighter, her body was also shaking from the tears, it was funny how they were both the hard asses out of the group, the people who didn't give a shit, yet here they were, crying in each other's arms. Naomi leaned up and pressed several kisses to her forehead, they smiled at each other and the look in Effy's eyes told her that she'd be okay, and that Effy would always be there for her, they reluctantly pulled away and Naomi turned to embrace a nervous JJ, he almost didn't know what to do but managed to calm down and hug her back, they weren't close, especially after what happened with him and Emily, but she still loved the boy, he was a great friend._

_When Naomi turned to Katie, she had no idea what to do, she wanted to step forward and embrace her like everyone else but wasn't sure whether that would be crossing the line of their friendship, she knew that Katie was thinking the same thing as she was watching her curiously. A smirk spread across Naomi's face as she extended her hand towards the twin, Katie looked at it, back to Naomi, smirked and then shook her head. Naomi wasn't sure whether she was rejecting her hand shake, but then the twin suddenly pulled her into a hug and Naomi had to stop herself from making some kind of sarcastic comment, instead she just smiled and hugged her back._

_When they pulled away, Naomi knew that she should have gone straight to Emily, but she couldn't, not yet. Instead she turned towards her mum and dived straight into her arms, feeling like a little girl again when her mother's arms wrapped around her. A part of Naomi hated her mum and blamed her for all of this, but at the end of the day she knew that it wasn't her fault and her mum was only trying to help. She cried against her shoulder before leaning up to whisper in her ear._

"_Please don't remember me like this, I may be a prick but I still love you mum. "_

_Gina instantly broke down into a flood of tears and Naomi had to quickly pull away._

_Before was a lie. NOW came the hardest part._

_She slowly turned to face the other twin who was staring intently back, her eyes were red and tearful and it looked like she was also struggling to breathe with how rigid her body looked. Naomi extended her hand again, but not for a hand shake, the red head stepped forward and took it lightly into her own small hand. They stared at each other, their faces inches apart until Naomi couldn't take it anymore and cupped Emily's small, soft face in both of her hands and pressed their lips together. They both shuddered and neither cared that the others were still in the room. It was a kiss that neither of them had experienced before, it was hard but soft, gentle but passionate and every emotion they felt was poured into it and soon they were both crying, tasting the mix of the tears in the kiss. Naomi wanted it to never end, she just wanted to melt into her girlfriend and stay with her forever. Why did things have to be so fucked up?_

_Reluctantly, they pulled away for breath, both of their lips were swollen and tears still streamed down their cheeks. Naomi smiled weakly and gently wiped away Emily's tears with the pad of her thumb, the red head leaned into the soft hand against her cheek and closed her eyes, savouring the touch._

_It was painful, so painful._

_It wasn't until the sound of a car horn outside that she remembered she had to go eventually. Impatient wanker, she thought to herself and sighed. She walked towards the front door, pulling Emily along with her, as she opened it; she turned around to see the faces of her friends. Her best friends, and of course her dear mother, it pained her to see them all crying._

"_I love you guys. " It came out steadier than she thought, and she knew they all heard when they all smiled at her._

"_We'll visit as much as we can, Naoms. " Freddie said lightly, squeezing his girlfriends shoulder when she sniffled. They all nodded in agreement._

"_Have a safe journey sweet heart. " Her mum kissed her forehead lightly._

_And with that, Naomi turned and exited the house._

_Her and Emily walked slowly, hand in hand, towards the taxi with the pissed off looking driver. God they get paid so why are they always such moody bastards?_

_They stopped at the side of the taxi and kissed one last time, Naomi's heart ached heavily in her chest and her throat was dry from trying not to cry. It hurt so much._

_Emily looked down at the ground and then back up to her face, her beautiful brown eyes showed so much pain and Naomi wanted to take it all away, and she hated herself for not being able to. Emily leaned up and kissed her again, soft and quick._

"_I love you, forever and always. " Naomi whispered, her voice quavering._

"_I love you too." They smiled weakly at each other. Naomi kissed her quickly._

"_I'll miss you so much. " The red head whimpered, her broken voice caused a new round of tears to pour down Naomi's face._

"_I'll miss you more." She knew she would. Emily tried to laugh but couldn't, it was now time for goodbye._

_They kissed again desperately, clinging to each other and hoping that it wouldn't end. Praying that they'd wake up and for it all to be a terrifying nightmare, crying because they knew their praying and wishing wouldn't change anything._

_And once again they pulled away._

_Emily stepped back as Naomi climbed into the backseat, their eyes not leaving each other for a second even as the taxi pulled away, neither of them looked away until they were no longer in each other's line of vision._

_Simultaneously, their hearts shattered._

_Naomi would never know that the red head collapsed to the floor and screamed through her tears. And Emily would never know that at the same time, the blonde curled up in the back seat and sobbed until she couldn't breathe, either falling asleep or passing out from the lack of oxygen._

_

* * *

_

_She couldn't do it, she knew she couldn't. She knew she couldn't do it since it happened. Fuck, what was she going to do?_

_

* * *

_

**And that's part 2 for you. I really hated writing it so I put on some emotional music to help me.**

** And I bet you're all wondering about the last paragraph, I know it doesn't sound good but please stick with me as we are now going to into the future, I promise things will get better.**

**R&R and left me know what you thought of this chapter. I'm typing the next one up after this so it should be on tomorrow.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I decided to be nice and get this chapter up since I went ages without giving you guys an update. Here's the future for you. I do have to say though; this chapter is mainly explaining what happened in the past 3 years. But I promise that after this chapter, it gets interesting. Very interesting ;)**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 7. 

3 years later.

"_You should move back to Bristol." Effy finally blurted out. "It's been three years."_

_Three years, it really had been three years since she left Bristol to move to Cornwall. Three years since she had visited her old home, the closest she had come to it was London, but that was it. She didn't dare to visit all of the old but familiar places that she knew at Seventeen. It was just something that she knew she probably wouldn't be able to handle._

_It didn't seem like three years had passed since the incident that drastically changed her life, but it had and so much had changed in this time._

_Naomi watched the nervous brunette as she played with a steaming mug of coffee, spinning it on the table and then tapping it with her long, black painted fingernails. She had been nervous since she had arrived unexpectedly at Naomi's cottage and it had taken her a good while to give a reason as to why she was there. Naomi wasn't complaining about her surprise visit, she loved Effy's company but usually they would plan her visit in advance. But even after she constantly pestered her friend for a reason, she had not expected her to say that. She left her chair without saying a word and began to do some pointless tidying in her already spotless kitchen, her mind was now sorting through the shock and trying to consider the statement, she hadn't stepped a foot into Bristol since she left and she wanted it to stay that way, but she couldn't control part of her that she had buried long ago start to rise again and she wanted desperately for it to fuck off, but it wouldn't not even after three years._

_The thought of returning was exciting but mostly sickening, and nerve racking. After everything that happened it seemed almost impossible to return, but maybe it wasn't. Cornwall was her home now, she had her old friends that came to visit and she had a new small group of friends. She graduated college with good grades considering she was in a shit situation at the time and did fuck all revision. But it didn't matter so much since she no longer wanted to go to university, she had a decent paid job in a local instrument store which meant she spent plenty of time around instruments and helping the poor fuckers who would come into the store to buy something but were completely clueless about the basics let alone what model or specs they wanted. Naomi often wanted to tell the majority of customers to fuck off and do some revision before coming back, there was nothing worse than standing around for half an hour whilst someone decided on what to buy because of it's colour or something stupid and then realise that they don't want it because of some petty difference, god most of them didn't even take the specs into account. But other than the useless twats that came in, it was fairly enjoyable._

_Two of her close friends moved into her cottage after she finished college, Naomi had decided to start paying the bills herself since her mum's cousin had paid for her to live there for a whole year and it seemed unfair to allow him to continue. Ryan and Mike contributed with their share of the rent and the bills, so they were comfortable and secure._

_But even though things had turned out great for Naomi, she couldn't stop the niggling voice inside of her that provoked her curiosity to return._

_Naomi sighed as she leaned back against the kitchen counter and pushed her fingers through her hair before bringing it down to cross her arms over her chest, looking sternly at the nervous girl who was watching her every move, inspecting them no doubt._

"_I'll come and stay in the summer." She said finally,_

"_Not just the summer, Naomi. We all want you to move back. "_

"_We" meant the old group, except two no longer consisted with them._

"_I can't, Eff. I have everything here. "_

"_You can get that all back; you know you aren't really happy here."_

_That was true, but she wouldn't be happy anywhere._

"_You won't have to see her." Effy lowered her voice; it was louder than a whisper but still quiet. It was a voice that she always voiced when She was mentioned._

_She couldn't be happy because of her._

"_She's not the problem." Naomi lied._

_She couldn't be happy without her, even though she constantly tried._

"_Then what is the problem?"_

_No answer._

"_I thought so." Effy sighed; slumping back into her chair, Naomi knew that she was probably hurt so she quickly jogged her mind for an answer._

"_No, no she doesn't matter anymore. But I have my life here; I have my own home, my job, and my friends."_

_She did matter; she made things difficult to accept. She changed everything in a good and terrible way._

"_You can get all of that back, and as your friends we will all be with you, you know that. "_

_Why did Effy make it all seem so easy? But why did she want her to continue to persuade her? And why was her stomach now fluttering like crazy, was she nervous? Excited?_

"_Effy…it's too weird."_

"_No it's not. It's your home and we want you back, like old times."_

_Things change._

_But why didn't she want to keep it that way?_

"_I don't know." Naomi couldn't bring herself to speak the truth._

"_Things change and they will continue to change. So if you move, it'll just be another change and we'll all be there to help you through it. It will help you move on, Naomi. " _

_Would it? And how the fuck was she able to read her mind like that?_

"_I have moved on."_

_But she was still as stubborn as she was at Seventeen._

"_Yes, Naomi. You've done great with your life and we are all really proud of it. But we'd finally rest if we knew that you were happy here. You may have mastered that fake smile but your eyes are shit at hiding your real feelings. "_

_Naomi wanted to rip her eye out right then, she rubbed her aching head and sighed._

"_You're not over Emily. We can all see that but maybe coming back will help you to accept that, well…she's a cunt and you're better off without her. "Effy's tone turned bitter as she said Emily's name and her eyes twinkled with disgust; she tensed slightly and clenched her jaw in aggravation. Effy would instantly get pissed off if she even slightly thought about what happened, it had been two and a half years since the break up but both girls struggled to talk about it. Effy would instantly get angry and Naomi would become shut off and empty. It was a topic that was better left unmentioned._

_It had started when Naomi first moved to Cornwall, things seemed normal for the first month or so but then the text messages become blunter, the phone calls were quick and pointless, Emily just claimed it to be the stress from college and the upcoming exams, but after a couple of months their contact became minimal and a few date were cancelled, it soon led to Naomi not seeing and barely speaking to Emily for a whole month, it was unbearable but Naomi didn't want to pressure her._

_The sixth month since her move slowly and painfully arrived, and Emily had finally agreed to visit; only everything was different._

_They were distant, Emily barely allowed Naomi to hug her and broke away quickly when she tried to kiss her, they barely spoke, and the silence between them was awkward when it was usually comfortable. Emily kept her distance so Naomi couldn't hold her hand or put an arm around her or show any signs of affection. They were like strangers._

"_We need to break up." Emily finally said after an hour or so of silence. And even though Naomi had expected it, it didn't stop the sickening and unbearably painful blow to her heart. "Painful" didn't even cover how much it hurt; Naomi had to force herself not to vomit out her heart that had risen into her throat, she didn't cry, tears would have been a waste of energy when they couldn't express how broken she really felt._

_All of her barriers came crashing down in a second and had already started to reform, her past barriers had been made of plastic, the new ones would be made of steel so that no one could ever worm their way in, not like Emily had done to the plastic ones. _

_Naomi didn't reply, all of her fears and the reasons as to why she left Bristol suddenly flared up and were laughing in her face, they all told her that she was weak and pathetic. She believed them._

_It wasn't until Emily picked up her bag and was about to leave that she finally said anything._

"_I love you. " She whispered so quietly that she was pretty sure the red head hadn't heard her until Emily stopped and slowly turned around._

"_Get over it, Naomi. " Her voice was cold but cracked as her eyes filled with tears; she spun on her heel and left without another word._

_They never spoke after that day, not once. Emily had left her for good, she didn't love her. It was all false._

_Naomi got completely fucked up that night, and the night after that, and the night after that. Until one night, she almost killed herself, not on purpose, though she didn't care if she lived or died, because the feeling of not feeling was fucking amazing. She was at a club, she had taken a load of pills and pretty much drank all of the alcohol at the bar, she felt good, so good because she just didn't care. She didn't remember what happened, but apparently she collapsed and started vomiting blood, someone called an ambulance, and she just remembered waking up in one of the beds and plugged into the machines. _

_She felt like complete and utter shit, worse than she had ever felt before. She hated being in the hospital, and they wouldn't let her go until they thought she was stable, which they didn't. She hated the hospital and the doctors, but most of all she hated being sober because she could think, and when she thought she got angry, she couldn't control it, she had no reason to now. She screamed at the doctors, swore at them, told them they were fucking mental for keeping her in there. She attacked the nurses when they came to inject her with some shit, and hated it when they'd restrain her. It wasn't until she tried to rip out the tubes that connected her to the machines that they finally decided to move her into a special care ward, and then her mother came to visit her, it infuriated her that her mother acted like she cared, it infuriated Naomi when she'd cry and beg her to get better. But it mostly infuriated her that her mother had no intention of apologising for not sticking up for her to that cunt she called a boyfriend, or for sending her away._

_Maybe things would have been different if she stayed…_

_It wasn't until her mum left that Naomi finally realised that she didn't want to be like this, everyone had fucked things up for her and they would continue to if she let them. She wanted to change everything about herself, and that's when she realised that she really did need therapy. She had been to therapy for six months, but she had been sort of happy so she didn't really need it because all she concentrated on was getting back to Bristol, but she had no reason to now, but she had her reasons for wanting to get better._

_She wanted to say a big "fuck you" to everyone who thought they could get away with hurting her. She was going to prove them all wrong and sort herself out._

_She allowed herself to get better, and when she was released from hospital, she went to therapy as often as she could, she took her prescribed medication and attended all of the anger management classes. She forced herself to never think about Emily, it was so hard but the fact that they didn't ever contact each other made it a little easier. The twins had stopped hanging out with the old group after the break up, so no one would ever mention them._

_Trying to get over the first person she ever loved, and the last person who she would ever love wasn't easy, it was impossibly hard, but she knew she had to._

_So many things were left unsaid, and Naomi desperately wanted answers, but she knew she'd never get them._

_Music helped her a lot, she loved being able to listen to something and feeling like someone actually understood what she was going through, and one day she picked up a pen and notepad and started writing, but her writing turned into songs, she poured all of her feelings into them and she loved the release she felt from it. But she wanted more, she wanted to be able to display the emotion and meaning behind her words._

_She spent the money that she had saved to buy an acoustic guitar, she was going to teach herself to play, and being in Cornwall gave her the inspiration and determination to do so. She went down to the instrument store in town, and that's when she met Ryan. He helped her pick out a guitar that was suitable for a beginner, but they found themselves talking more and more and enjoying each others company, so they hung out, he was sweet and funny and so easy to talk to. He didn't once try to get her in his bed, they just talked about anything and everything, he listened intently to everything that Naomi had to say but didn't push her to try and find out anything personal._

_They started spending more of their time together as he decided to teach her how to play her new guitar, he was an amazing musician and an even better teacher, he taught her everything he knew until she was able to play quite fluently. It took a while but it was so worth it._

_Some days they'd just play together, making up random tunes. But one day, Naomi started singing along to one of the songs, and for some reason Ryan loved her voice and wanted to introduce her to his band. And that's how she met Sam, Mike and Sally._

_Ryan explained that they had been looking for a new singer for quite some time since their old one left to go to university._

_They weren't all too welcoming at first; Naomi didn't help by either being too shy or too sarcastic. But it didn't take long for them to all become quite good friends. Mike had been the least enthusiastic and the least welcoming, but Naomi soon learned that it was because he had just found out that his girlfriend of 5 years had been cheating on him for at least 2 years with his brother, and then she kicked him out of the apartment they shared. Naomi didn't blame him at all for the way he acted towards her as she knew she'd have probably done the same thing, she was honoured by the fact that Mike had trusted her enough to tell her this himself, he even apologised for the way he treated her and welcomed her into the band. He was overly nice to her after that and he was a lot like Ryan, amusing, sweet and understanding about anything you talked to them about. Within a few weeks they had become quite good friends and so Naomi asked him to move in with her as he couldn't stay with his friend for any longer, Ryan was already living with her at this point, he moved in to keep Naomi company and because he was turning twenty at the time and didn't want to still be living at home, so Mike was quite comfortable to move in._

_Sally was protective over her boys, especially Sam who was her boyfriend, she was worried that Naomi might hurt one of them, but when she found out that she was gay and had a proper conversation with her, she warmed to Naomi instantly. She was protective of her boys because they were the only people that she had as she didn't get along with any of her family and she didn't have any other friends. Sally reminded Naomi of herself, they didn't get along with their family and they both had believed that they didn't need anyone else because people could only hurt you, but then they had both met people who had changed their lives forever._

_And her reasons for being protective over Sam were perfectly understandable._

_Sam was the innocent one out of the guys, at first he was so nervous about meeting Naomi that he'd barely talk and would leave at every opportunity, it took quite a while for him to get used to her, but when Mike and Sally started to get along with her he finally settled and started acting like his normal self. He was so sweet and friendly but he struggled to deal with strangers. He reminded Naomi of JJ with the way he would become so nervous around people, especially women._

_Sam was beaten as a child, his mum was some raging slut who would come home each night completely wankered with a different man. Apparently if Sam wasn't in his room by the time she got home, she'd go on a drunken craze and beat the shit out of him, sometimes the prick that she came home with would join in too. As he got older, nothing changed except his mother would get worse and beat him almost all of the time. At sixteen he left home, he was going to try and find his drug addicted father but Ryan was able to convince him to live with him instead. Two years later he met Sally, apparently it was love at first sight and after a few months of dating, he moved into her apartment._

_For any other couple, Naomi would have thought that it was stupid for them to move in together after only dating for a few months, but seeing them together, she understood why. They were completely and madly in love with each other. Sam was paranoid and nervous, he only trusted his close friends who were Mike and Ryan, and after the way he was treated by his mum, it was amazing that he was able to trust women at all. But they said that if it wasn't for Sally, he'd probably still be the same as he was back then. Anyone could see how much they meant to each other with the way they'd look and smile and talk to each other like they were the core of each others existence. When they were together, it was almost impossible to be unhappy around them, their loved seemed to radiate off of them and into their surroundings. Normally it would make Naomi feel sick but instead she thought it was adorable but the problem was, they reminded her so much of the way that she had been with Emily. The way she would look at her and see the most amazing and beautiful girl in the world, the way that she could spend every minute of her life in Emily's company and not get bored and the way that she could lose herself in Emily's voice and love her with every ounce of her being. It hurt that even after everything, Emily was still, and always would be the person who owned her heart. Even if Naomi tried to bury it, even if she couldn't admit it to anyone, it was true._

_Being with them made things easier; they understood her, shared the same interests as her and even got along with her old friends when they came to visit._

_Knowing that in their own way they were as fucked up as her was comforting in a weird way. It made them, well… them. And she admired their determination to turn their lives around. She loved being with them and being a member of the band, they would practise nearly all the time and play at any pubs or clubs. They were still in the process of writing their own songs so instead they would play cover songs._

_She loved them all dearly for helping her through her problems and accepting her, they all knew her reasons for moving to Bristol, including the old group, everyone except her mum and the twins knew what had happened to her, and they all helped her through it._

_She knew she wouldn't have been able to sort herself out without any of them. She was much closer with the old group now than she had been three years ago, including JJ, Pandora and Thomas. They had proved to be very loyal and understanding friends._

_They had all changed in many ways, they weren't the same silly teenagers that were fighting or running away from their problems, they had all matured. But that didn't mean they no longer had fun, hell no. If anything, they rocked a party harder now than they ever did before._

_So maybe it would be good for her to return to Bristol, Effy was right, maybe it would help her to move on and give her the final closure that she needed. It was time to get over the past and face her fears of returning to her old home._

_And it's not like she'd see Emily, apparently she wasn't in Bristol often, or she just kept herself to herself. But why should she be the one to worry? Emily was the one who ended their relation and left Naomi with a shattered heart._

_And besides, she really would love for her friends to see what she was doing with herself, they all knew that she was in a band but they had never seen them play as they were never able to arrange a gig for when they visited. She really wanted to make them proud, so maybe she could convince Ryan and that to come with her._

_Naomi nibbled on the inside of her lip whilst thinking over her final decision before moving across the room and pulling Effy into a tight hug._

"_I'll try." She whispered into her ear, it was the best she could offer at that moment, but either way she was rewarded with a high pitched squeal and a rib crushing embrace._

_

* * *

_

**I'm sorry if this chapter was a bit boring but I had to explain everything that had happened in the past three years.**

**So how do you think Naomi's visit will go? Will she see Emily? Will her band mates go with her? Will something happen that she doesn't expect? What if everything's horrible different. Wait and find out, it'll be good :)**

**R&R please :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks for the lovely reviews, here's chapter 8.**

**Who enjoyed tonight's episode? Katie Fitch is a legend :)**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 8

2 weeks later.

_It was in the first week of June when Naomi decided to visit Bristol; the journey took over an exhausting four hours with the several stops for the bathroom and food. They had intended on leaving at around 8:00 am but something typically distracted them, they didn't leave until 10:00 am and the journey was actually more fun then they expected. Ryan borrowed his brothers van so that they could take their instruments and any equipment they needed, so therefore he was made to drive, Naomi claimed the passenger seat so Sam, Mike and Sally sat in the back._

_It was a beautiful summers day, the sun was scorching, the sky was a gorgeous deep blue and there wasn't a single wisp of cloud in sight, they had the windows rolled all the way down, Naomi leaned out with a fag dangling from her mouth, she held it tightly between her lips so that she wouldn't drop it and enjoyed the warm wind as it whipped against her face and through each strand of her shoulder length, curly blonde hair. She wore a fitted grey t-shirt and white skinny jeans that cut up above her knees and black pumps. She no longer dressed in her long floral skirts and leggings like she did at seventeen. The black eyeliner she wore enhanced her crystal blue eyes, making them shine and deepen to the same colour as the sky. She was over excited about the visit and tried not to dwell on the fact that it wouldn't take long for her nerves to take over. She tapped her hand against her thigh in rhythm to the song that blasted throughout the van. They played games to make the journey more entertaining and it soon led to them ending up half naked, Ryan may have missed out on the fun of the games from having to concentrate on the road but Naomi knew that he wasn't bothered when she'd occasionally catch him sneaking glances at her topless body, she won most of the games so she only removed her top, she was glad that she was wearing her favourite purple bikini underneath, she grinned when she caught him looking, he didn't make his perving discreet._

_Naomi turned around in her seat to look into the back of the van, luckily they had seats in the back otherwise they wouldn't have been able to borrow the van, there was two on the left and two on the right, and surprisingly Sally sat on the right side on her own so that she could stretch out, Naomi laughed at the sight of her sat comfortably in her hot pink tankini whilst Mike and Sam were sat side by side, looking slightly uncomfortable as Sam was only wearing black boxers and Mike was completely naked. Seeing him naked didn't bother Naomi, after growing up in a communal living house with her mum, and then living with two guys who were almost two years older than her, she had grown used to it._

_She turned back with a huge grin on her face, only for it to fall a second later as she took in her surroundings, even after three years she was able to recognise the surroundings as they entered Bristol. She sank into her seat and gulped, nerves instantly niggled their way through her body, her heart was pounding fiercely and her stomach felt like it was about to explode. Ryan noticed her distress and reached over and took her hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze._

"_Welcome home." He murmured softly, she let out a deep breath and smiled, they both knew that she could do it._

"_Oh!" Sally exclaimed, she had gotten up from her seat and poked her head between the two front seats, grinning excitedly. "Now we get to see all the places that our little Naomi caused havoc in." She giggled and dodged Naomi's hand when she reached out to swat the back of her head._

"_Fuck off" They laughed together, Naomi appreciated them trying to take her mind off her nerves, it almost worked but they continued to niggle in her stomach._

_It didn't take long for them to reach their destination; they were staying at Effy and Freddie's apartment for the summer, Effy made it quite clear that all the guys had to share a separate room from her and Sally, much to their dislike. It was better that way as Naomi didn't really want to share a room with Ryan and Mike on her own, she may live with them but she at least had other rooms to escape to._

_Naomi leaned out of the window when they pulled up outside of Effy's apartment, it looked nice outside but she wasn't too sure what to expect inside. Apparently Effy's parents got back together some time last year, and Effy managed to convince them to help her pay for her own apartment in return for them being twats and fucking her up, obviously they agreed._

_Ryan parked outside and they both jumped out of the van, Naomi stretched and loved the feeling as her muscles were finally uncramped and a few bones cracked, she let out a sigh of pleasure, quickly fixed the straps on her bikini that had somehow loosened and moved round to the back of the van where Ryan was standing, having already removed the black t-shirt he was wearing, showing off his muscular body and tense biceps. His long brown hair was pulled back into a hair band, his ponytail almost reaching his shoulders. The blue jeans he worse hung loosely on his hips, revealing the band of his white boxers. Fit wasn't really a word that could be used to describe Ryan, he was broad, strong and incredibly good looking. He sort of looked similar to Heath Ledger in 10 things I hate about you, maybe slightly more innocent looking. That's how Ryan was, sweet, understanding and caring. But he was not a guy that anybody wanted to fuck with._

_Naomi smirked at him as she walked to stand beside him, turning her back on the apartment and looking at the van, the sun glaring down on her bare skin felt irresistibly good._

"_Shall we just leave them there?" Ryan asked, nodding towards the van, Naomi burst out laughing._

"_Maybe, but I think Sally's small enough to squeeze into the front." It was an amusing thought though._

"_Aw shame, could have had some alone time." He winked and Naomi shoved him but he just chuckled. God he could be just like Cook sometimes._

_She rolled her eyes and moved to open up the back doors to the van, Sally jumped out instantly, closely followed by Sam who was still in his boxers, and then followed by a naked Mike who Naomi had to quickly shove back into the van._

"_Mike! You are not coming out until you put some clothes on." She laughed at his face of disbelief._

"_What?! It's too fucking hot for clothes." He moaned like a five year old._

"_Well at least put on your fucking boxers." He sighed and turned to rummage through the stuff. "I can't find them."_

_Fucks sake, Naomi muttered. "Sal, do you know where Mike's boxers are? "_

"_Threw them in the front." She sounded so pleased with herself; Naomi rolled her eyes again and walked round to the passenger seat. It took her quite a while to find his boxers when Sally was hardly specific, she may have thrown them in the front but they had fallen down a gap behind the front seats, it took her bloody ages to fish them out, she held them by the band and flung them into the back, telling Mike that they were there. She stepped back out of the van and could hear Ryan and Sally speaking to someone but she couldn't quite make out the voices as they were talking quietly._

"_Nomi, come here. " Sally called from the other side. Naomi growled at her stupid nickname and slammed the door, she walked back around just as Mike jumped out from the back, grinning happily at her. She scowled at him and strode towards Sally._

"_Sally, what the fuck did I say –" She stopped instantly when she saw two girls she hadn't anticipated on seeing, they both turned to her, one girl dropped her head to the floor, the other dropped her mouth._

_Oh fuck. Oh great. What a fucking coincidence, Naomi's voice thundered in her head, she thought her heart had stopped until she felt it pounding in her chest with a stronger force than before. A lump formed in her throat and her body trembled slightly. This wasn't supposed to happen._

"_Fuckin' hell, Campbell, is that you? " Naomi couldn't reply, the voice brought back so many memories._

"_Don't you recogni- "She began to say but Naomi stopped her._

"_Of course I fucking recognise you, ya twat." She smiled to reassure the girl that she wasn't being a bitch._

"_Wow." The girl smiled back. The slightly smaller girl shuddered but finally raised her head, looking Naomi straight in the eye. A deep feeling erupted in both of them. Naomi felt sick, so horribly sick when she looked into the brown eyes that she had always adored, she felt sick when she realised that her favourite eyes no longer sparkled the way they used to, instead they looked hollow, empty and full of regret. If Naomi was the girl she was three years ago, she probably would have turned and ran, but she wasn't that girl anymore, she didn't run away anymore. But she had to quickly break the contact, them eyes held so many memories which now caused her excruciating pain. _

_Oh fuck, Emily, why do you have to be here?_

_It had been two and a half fucking years, yet she steps into Bristol for five minutes and has already collided with the girl who broke her heart, yet she could almost ignore her heart ache when she looked the girl who was now even more beautiful than before. Her hair was almost the same, except longer and a little darker, and surprisingly curled for once. Her cheekbones curved her face in way that made her look older but still gorgeous. She wasn't wearing any make up except a thin line of eyeliner, she didn't need make up, she was naturally beautiful. She wore a nicely fitted white blouse, the two top buttons were undone and showed her chest, Naomi couldn't help but think that if one more button was open, she would have had a nice view on her cleavage, but then she mentally slapped herself for thinking such a thing._

_So yeah, cute white blouse and denim blue short shorts. Naomi couldn't stop herself from trailing her eyes up Emily's bare legs, god they looked good. She mentally slapped herself again for not being able to control her perving, even after two and a half years._

_But then when she looked back up, Emily's eyes were no longer on her face, instead they had lowered a little and her face was slightly tinged red. She then realised that Emily was staring at her body and smirked, at least she wasn't the only perve._

_But fuck, why wasn't she feeling angry? Why wasn't she slapping the girl and telling her to fuck off? Fuck._

"_You guys look great. " Naomi said nicely. Fuck, first she wasn't feeling angry and now she was being civilised? _

_But it was true, they both looked fucking amazing. Katie who usually looked like a slut now looked smart and very attractive; she wasn't wearing leopard print or a ton of make up. Her hair was no longer red, instead it was a dark brown but slightly tinted purple and she wore it up in a nice style so that a few strands were loose against her face. She wore white short shorts and a pink…wait, what? A t-shirt?! Fucking hell, Naomi thought that this was possibly the first time she had seen Katie without her tits popping out. A few years does wonders to some people._

"_You don't look like you're doing too badly yourself, Campbell. " Katie replied, shifting her weight from one foot to the other and raising eyebrows in a questioning way as her eyes flickered to something behind her. Naomi frowned and turned around to see Mike still standing behind her still grinning and still only wearing his boxers. And then it clicked, Naomi quickly spun around to see Katie's amused expression._

"_Oh god, this must look SO bad! " The twins giggled as she tried to hide her blush, they continued to laugh until the sound of someone clearing their throat stopped their reunion. Naomi looked round at Sally who didn't look amused in the slightest._

"_Going to introduce us, Naomi? " Naomi nodded._

"_Katie, Ems. This is Sally, Mike, Sam and Ryan." She explained, moving her hand to point at each of them. "Guys, this is Katie and…"_

"_Emily." Sally finished for her, Naomi glared as a warning, it was awkward enough without her being a prick. The guys just grunted a hello apart from Ryan who stepped forward, grinning happily and shaking both of their hands. The twins looked slightly surprised but Katie flashed him a smile that was so much like the old Katie. Oh god, no flirting please._

_Naomi was so grateful when she heard Cook bellow out her name and sprint towards her, he lifted her off her feet and span her around, she laughed and clung to his body and begged him to put her down. He only did when he noticed the twins._

"_Whoa, what the fuck are they doing here? " Katie and Emily both opened their mouths to reply but Naomi got there first._

"_Don't be a prick, James. I didn't expect to see them either, but it's cool, it's good to see them again. "She smiled at them and they smiled back. Surprisingly it did feel good to see them again. And then it hit her, she wasn't mad because really, she had missed them. Missed their company and their friendship, sure it hurt to see Emily and to not be able to reach out and hold and kiss her, but she had always felt comfortable around the girl. She was over what had happened in the past, the past was the past, and maybe she wanted Emily back in her life so she could feel her comfort, even if it was just as friends._

_Cook took a few seconds to think it over and grinned when he accepted it, he stepped forwards and pulled the twins into a hug, they both look slightly alarmed._

"_That's cool, I forgot how fit our twinnies are. "_

"_Fucks sake. " Naomi laughed, shaking her head._

"_Ah, Cook. You're still repulsive I see." Emily finally spoke, her voice friendly and sweet. God Naomi missed it._

"_Of course babe, you still a muff muncher? "_

"_Absolutely." _

"_That's my girl." They both grinned._

_Why was everything so easy? Being around her wasn't half as painful as Naomi expected, it was actually nice and kind of enjoyable. Cook seemed to be liking too, and Katie and Emily were both smiling happily, maybe they had also missed it. Maybe._

_Naomi left them all to talk and turned towards Effy's front door which was already open and the beautiful brunette leaned against the doorway, smoking a cigarette._

"_Interesting. " Effy said simply, she was just like her old self sometimes._

"_More like unexpected. " Naomi sighed and raked her fingers through her hair._

"_No, it's interesting that you're so calm around her. " Naomi just shrugged her shoulders._

"_What are you going to do about it?" Freddie asked her softly when he entered the room._

"_Fuck knows, it's weird." Effy smiled slightly and pulled her into a hug._

"_Why don't you invite her to the club later?" she asked, Naomi pulled back in surprise, her eyes wide with shock._

"_What, why?" _

"_It gives you the chance to show her that you've done better without her. "_

_Naomi laughed; she should have known that Effy wasn't going to be nice about Emily._

"_No, I'm joking, "okay maybe she will, "maybe it'll give both the chance to sort things properly. " That was a nice thought._

"_Yeah," Freddie agreed, stepping forward to give Naomi a quick hug and then put his arm across Effy's shoulders. "Eff's right, it'll at least clear a few things. "_

"_Yeah…maybe." Naomi replied, she frowned at the thought of actually spending time with Emily again. Fucking Bristol._

_Naomi backed out to where she left them all, Effy and Freddie following her, Cook was talking to Sally and the guys, Emily was hurriedly whispering to Katie who appeared to be defending herself. Naomi had a feeling that she already knew what they were talking about. She made her way towards them when Effy and Freddie joined in to Cook's conversation, the twins looked up when she approached, Emily seemed nervous and Katie annoyed._

"_Do you two want to join us down at the club tonight? You can see what I do now. "Naomi blurted out, surprising herself and both of the girls'. Katie's annoyed expression transformed into a bright grin. _

"_Definitely. You gonna come, Ems?" Naomi was shocked again, Katie Fitch was asking, not demanding. Damn, people really can change._

_Emily looked terrified when she looked at Naomi, so she made her expression as friendly as possible and gave an inviting smile. It wasn't hard, and she found herself hating that she couldn't hate that girl. She was almost certain that Emily would say no, she was relieved when the red head relaxed._

"_Sure, that'd be nice. " Emily smiled and Naomi thought she felt her knees shake a little._

_Stop it you twat, Naomi shouted at herself._

"_Great, it's in that new place up town, be there at eight." She smiled at them and turned to leave._

"_Wait!" It was Emily, "What do you do now?" She sounded almost excited so Emily just smirked at her._

"_Wait and find out. "And then she left, following the rest that had already gone inside._

_Naomi stopped at the front door and looked back, the twins had started walking in the opposite direction but Emily also happened to be looking back, their eyes met and they smiled shyly at each other._

_Naomi sighed; the way her heart was now beating uncontrollably told her that she was in serious trouble. _

_She entered the house, preparing herself for the angry lecture from Sally._

_

* * *

_

_Emily's Pov_

_Oh my fucking god._

_She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream, she wanted to jump for joy, and she wanted to run._

_There were plenty of things that she wanted to do._

"_Fucking hell. " Katie whispered whilst they walked._

"_I can't believe it. " Emily replied._

"_What are you going to do? "_

"_Nothing, there's nothing I can do. We'll just go and enjoy the night. "_

_Katie nodded in agreement, that was the good thing with them now, they barely argued or disagreed. Katie was finally the nice sister that her twin had always wanted._

"_She looks fantastic. " Katie said and smiled, Emily knew that she was shocked at Naomi's change of style, she was too. The blonde no longer looked like a charity shop; instead she looked sort of grungy in an incredibly sexy way, and god she looked like a fucking model! _

_Emily tried not to picture her in her head, she tried not to picture the way Naomi looked in the purple bikini top and cut off white skinny jeans, she tried not to picture the way her hair, eyes and skin glistened against the sun light and she tried not to picture the top half of her body, toned, curvy and just so…shut up mind!_

"_Yeah, she does. God, this is just so weird. "Emily looked up as Katie reached out and took her hand._

"_It doesn't have to be." She said simply._

_

* * *

  
_

**All the respect to Heath Ledger, I love him. R&R please :) let me know what you thought. Anyone like the sound of Naomi's new appearance? And what about her feelings for Emily, should she be mad or start a new friendship with her?**


	10. Chapter 10

**I'm updating as much as I can because of my two weeks of not updating lol, and because I'm really getting into this story now that I have it all planned out :) **

**I do not own anything! Except my own characters of course :)**

**Oh and a huge thanks to Ryoko05; she suggested a song to me and I wasn't going to use it at first until I noticed the lyrics went quite well. And Flyleaf are amazing.**

**Also, to all of you who are wondering why Emily broke up with Naomi, well it will be explained later on in the story.**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 9

_They had arrived at 2pm and it was already 7pm, she had spent an hour or so arguing with Sally about Emily, trying to convince her that she was fine with it. Then they all talked about the journey down, things they had missed, the gig at the club tonight. They had a few drinks and before they knew it, a couple of hours had passed. Effy started making dinner and Naomi and Sally went to sort out their room, once they finished, they went over the songs for the gig, they had managed to squeeze into a slot so they had enough time for a couple of songs, it wasn't much but it was good enough. They all had dinner and finished their plans; it left Naomi with an hour to get ready. She had a quick shower, dried and decided to straighten her hair, it reached down to her collar bones when it was straight. She then started panicking over her outfit, usually she'd just throw on a top and jean, but this night was different, it was special. And not just because Emily was going to be there, because it was her first time in Bristol after 3 years and it was the first time her friends would see her band play live._

_She decided on a long black top that had a golden skull and stars on it and white skinny jeans, a pair that she hadn't destroyed with scissors. It was comfortable but it showed that she was making an effort; she threw on some eyeliner, put on her white pumps, grabbed her leather jacket and left the room._

_The rest were waiting for her at the front door, Freddie wore a casual black blazer with a white top underneath it and slim fitted black jeans, his hair in the same scraggy style as always. Effy wore a long black top but wore it as a dress with black tights; the top/dress actually covered her ass! Cook wore a pink shirt and light blue jeans, it was smart but it was still Cook. Of course he had to dress smartly, he worked there._

_Sally, Mike, Sam and Ryan wore pretty much the same outfit, jeans and a simple top, the only difference was that the guys were all in black where as Sally wore yellow skinny jeans and a black tank top. It was comfortable clothing for a small gig; it wasn't such a big deal to them._

_They all smiled at her when she reached the bottom of the stairs, she was nervously excited, excited about the gig, nervous about playing in front of everyone, especially Emily._

"_Let's go then. " Effy said an excited smile on her face._

_-_

_It didn't take long to get down to the club; they met JJ, Pandora and Thomas inside as they saved them a table. Panda was the first to greet Naomi, jumping up from her seat and hugging the blonde, squealing and saying bonkers about ten times in one sentence. Thomas managed to squeeze past his girlfriend to get to Naomi, shaking her hand and then hugging her._

"_It's great to have you back, Naomi. It hasn't been the same. "Naomi felt her heart melt and hugged him again. He looked the same, just bigger and broader and still overly friendly. Panda hadn't changed either; she was still as crazy as ever and still wore the bright, colourful clothes. However, she seemed more sensible now; she was no longer following Effy's shadow and begging for drugs and to "surf and turf." At least Panda learned the hard way because it helped her to better herself and learn from her mistakes._

_JJ was still sitting down at the table but he smiled and hugged her when she made her way towards him, Naomi smiled at his girlfriend, Anna. A pretty red head (natural, kind of auburn like.) that he met at work, they had been dating for a couple of months and they were totally perfect for each other. JJ wasn't as crazy as he used to be but he'd still occasionally get locked on when he was nervous or overwhelmed. He was no longer geeky looking either, his hair was short and slightly gelled, he no longer had braces and his body had filled out into muscle, making him look quite intimidating, he chiselled facial features gave him the mature, good looking appearance. But underneath he was still the JJ that they all knew and loved. It was nice to see him with a decent girl; Anna was incredibly pretty and accepting of JJ's problems._

_They all took their seats around the table, Katie and Emily still hadn't arrived and Naomi began to wonder whether they would actually turn up, but her question was soon answered when she spotted the two girls heading towards them, she gulped when she took in Emily's appearance. Her hair was the same as it was earlier, maybe a little tidier and she wore a black tank top and black pencil skirt that ended just above her knees. Naomi had to quickly distract herself or she would have continued to stare, the twins were greeted normally as they sat down, Naomi smiled at them before turning back to her drink. JJ gave her a questioning look but she reassured him with a smile._

"_Whizzer! We're all back together, like old times, and with new friends! "Pandora squealed and looked round at the group with a huge grin, Naomi chuckled._

"_I say we make a toast," Freddie began, raising his pint of beer, "To Naomi's return, there's no leaving us now." They all cheered and tapped glasses, Naomi laughed and ducked her head in embarrassment, she hated the attention._

"_So Naomi, you back for good? " Katie asked smiling nicely, jesus christ what happened to her?_

"_Maybe," Naomi replied, spinning her glass on the table, "Just seeing how it goes at the moment." _

"_That's cool; it's been weird not having someone to bitch at all the time." Naomi burst out laughing._

"_So why aren't you bitching at me now?" Naomi raised her eyebrows, genuinely interested in Katie's answer, who seemed to almost struggle with it._

"_Um…well, you know…I…" Oh my god._

"_Oh my god," Naomi exclaimed, a satisfied smile almost split her face; "You actually missed me!" Katie's face flushed bright red._

"_Fuck off, Campbell." She tried to sound serious but failed, causing Naomi to smile even more._

"_There's the Katie I know, being nice doesn't suit you. It's like when your sister acts stupid, it just doesn't work." Her voice was playful but teasing, Emily's face flushed this time, she tried to hide her smile but it didn't go unnoticed by Naomi._

"_Anyone for another drink?" Freddie cut in as he stood up, they all agreed, Naomi more enthusiastic than the others._

"_Naomi babe, you don't want to have too many. " Sally laughed; she looked comfortable snuggled into Sam's side._

"_Why not?" Click. "Oh yeah! Don't worry I'll be fine." Naomi winked; the small brunette chuckled and shook her head._

"_Oh will you please tell me what the surprise is? "Emily pleaded, "The only thing I can think of is you're going to start pole dancing or something." Her voice was amused but also a little serious, Ryan looked at Emily and then Naomi, and then erupted in laughter. Clearly the thought of her pole dancing was more amusing than she thought. She grinned at the innocent red head._

"_You'd love that…"_

_Naomi hadn't meant to say that, no one else seemed to notice but both girls looked away, both feeling awkward. But when Naomi suddenly started to laugh, Emily did to, they laughed so hard that they were clutching their sides and almost crying, everyone stopped to look at them, Effy eyed them suspiciously._

"_What are you laughing at? "She asked sounding slightly amused at the state of the two girls. It took a couple of seconds for them to calm their laughter; she was able to breathe again and wiped her teary eyes._

"_I can't even remember." She giggled._

"_Naomi pole dancing. " Emily answered, causing them both to laugh again. Effy grinned and moved from her seat to squeeze in next to Naomi and put her arm around her._

"_I could teach you." Effy said in a serious voice, Naomi stopped laughing and gaped at her, her eyes wide and mouth open. Everyone around the table roared with laughter at Naomi's expression and she realised a second later that Effy was joking; she laughed too and slapped her playfully, and then cuddled into her side._

_Freddie returned with the drinks and they all spent the rest of the time talking, Effy even had a conversation with Emily but Naomi could hear the bitterness behind her words, but at least she was trying to be civilised. _

_The bands started playing 9 o'clock, two bands had already played, their sessions were half an hour each, and then came the short break._

_At 10 o'clock, Naomi and her band mates snuck off as they were on at 10:15, Sally was going for a smoke before and Naomi wished that she had joined her, she thought she was going to explode from the nerves. Sally soon joined them back stage, the sounding had already been checked so all they had to do was wait, and there was nothing worse than waiting._

_When 10:15 struck, they made their way onto the stage. Naomi headed straight towards the microphone for a quick introduction. As she spoke, everyone turned to look at her, she noticed both Katie's and Emily's mouths fall open, the rest of them were grinning. Naomi was pleased with their reactions._

"_Hey everyone, we're called Dysfunctional Riot and we're the last band to be playing before the main band comes on. We've only got enough time to play a couple of songs so we're going to do some covers, obviously there is no copyright, just a band doing what they love. Um…So yeah we hope you enjoy and have a good evening. "She stepped back from the microphone, hearing the supportive claps and cheers mostly from her friends. She looked behind her to make sure they were ready, Ryan was the lead guitarist, Sally was rhythm, Mike was the bassist and Sam was the drummer. They all nodded, signalling that they were ready so Naomi turned back towards the microphone._

"_Our first song is by a band called The Cab, it's called Bounce." _

_Adrenaline surged through her as the music started around her; she reached out and gripped the microphone in her left hand, the lyrics pouring from her mouth._

"The lips that slip are the lips that press and the lips that leak seem to know you best.  
I put bodies into motion, keep this skin out in the open, liars turn me on.  
Bed spread bandit since '89, you wear your heart on your sleeve and threw mine to the sky.

Bounce bounce baby, Bounce back to me (You don't need this)  
Bounce bounce baby, Bounce back to me (You don't need this)  
This is it, Call it quits with honesty (You don't need this)  
Every word is a curse let loose on me, your mouth it moves but fails to speak.  
And when you use your lips they better be on me."

_Naomi smiled at her friends that were cheering and wooing, but it surprised her when Effy got up from her seat, pulling Freddie with her towards the dance floor in front of the stage, it surprised her even more when the rest of them followed and started dancing together on the dance floor._

"The lies that tied your tongue in knots are the words that grew to hit my spots.  
So filthy, Dialled desire, swallowed pride but spit out fire. Liars turn me on.  
Bed spread bandit since '89, you wear your heart on your sleeve and I threw mine to the sky."

_Naomi jumped around and shook her head to the music as she sang the chorus, and so did her friends and a few randomers that got up to join them. But when the chorus ended, she stepped down from the stage (it was only a small stage) and onto the dance floor, she signalled with her hand for them all to settle down, she wrapped her arm around Effy whilst she sang._

"Bounce bounce, baby (Bounce bounce, baby)  
Bounce bounce, baby (Bounce bounce, baby)  
so filthy, Dialled desire, swallowed pride but spit out fire, liars turn me on."

_She jumped back onto the stage and jumped around, the rest joined in._

"Bounce bounce baby, bounce back to me (You don't need this)  
Bounce bounce baby, bounce back to me (You don't need this)  
this is it, Call it quits with honesty (You don't need this)

Every word is a curse let loose on me, your mouth it moves but fails to speak, and when you use your lips they better be on me."

_The song ended and Naomi let out a deep breath and smiled, they were rewarded with applause and cheering from a few more people this time, she was ecstatic with the reaction. None of the bands that played were famous or anything, but obviously the headlining band were better known and therefore preferred. Supporting acts didn't usually get a reaction, or at least they didn't in Cornwall, so it felt good for all of them._

"_Wow, thanks." Naomi breathed into the microphone. "Our next song is also by The Cab and it's called Singing myself to sleep."_

_She bounces to the music._

"And I'm up, down, I'm spinning around, I'm high and dry, and kicked to the ground.  
I'm lost, and I'll never be found.  
My lips were much too shy, the lines about you, they never rhymed.  
And you said I never get things right

(I never said I was the best thing for you)

And baby, where'd you go? I need you here tonight. "

_A few more people joined in with the jumping/dancing, but as the chorus of the song came up, Naomi found herself not being able to take her eyes of Emily, the way she shook her dazzling red hair and danced in amongst the others, and the way she smiled when she watched the blonde on stage._

"Singing myself to sleep, and you're still my favourite melody.  
It's been three weeks, how long can this go on?  
Singing myself to sleep, you're haunting every memory.  
Get out, goodbye. Get out of my life. Goodnight."

_Naomi had heard this song three weeks after the break up, it stuck with her ever since. Something flashed across Emily's face; her smile didn't seem as bright as it had been before. Maybe the lyrics meant something to her too._

"And you're hot, cold, you're better in my bones.  
You run while I lose control, I miss you, forever you'll stay gold.  
And girl you know I'm not getting by, I've lost it, you're in my mind.  
And every day's the darkest of my life."

_She jumped, shook her head and span around to the chorus. She could just lose herself in the music._

"'Cause I'm drowning when I close my eyes, and I'm falling I can't breath tonight  
End of story, I fade to black inside

(I never said I was the best thing for you)  
'Cause I'm drowning when I close my eyes, and I'm falling I can't breath tonight  
End of story, I fade to black inside

Singing myself to sleep, and you're still my favourite melody.  
It's been three weeks, how long can this go on?  
Singing myself to sleep, you're haunting every memory

Get out, goodbye. Get out of my life

'Cause I'm drowning when I close my eyes, and I'm falling I can't breath tonight

End of story, I fade to black inside."

_It was time for their last song, a different song. She stumbled a little from feeling slightly dizzy by jumping around, but fuck it; she was having a good time. The crowd seemed to be enjoying it too, so that's all that really mattered._

"_We only have time for one more song now and it's by a band called Flyleaf. I just want to say thank you to all of you for having us and enjoy your night. This song is called Again. "_

_The song was heavier than two they had done before, but Naomi enjoyed it and wanted their last song to be something different. She swayed along to the music before singing into the microphone._

"I love the way your heart breaks, with every injustice and deadly fate.  
Praying it all be new and living like it all depends on you."

_Naomi's vocals were stronger for this song so she didn't jump around as much, she mainly moved her free right hand in ways that seemed to emphasise the power in her voice, or would push it up through her hair whilst she moved to the music._

"Here you are down on your knees again.  
Trying to find air to breathe again, only surrender will help you now.  
I love you please see and believe again.

I love that you're never satisfied, with face value wisdom and happy lies.  
You take what they say and go back and cry.  
You're so close to me that you nearly died.

Here you are down on your knees again.  
Trying to find air to breathe again, only surrender will help you now.  
I love you please see and believe again.

They don't have to understand you, be still.  
Wait and know I understand you, be still.  
Be still.

Here you are down on your knees again.  
Trying to find air to breathe again, only surrender will help you now.  
The floodgates are breaking and pouring out.

Here you are down on your knees.  
Trying to find air to breathe,

Right where I want you to be again.  
I love you please see and believe again.

Here you are down on your knees again.  
Trying to find air to breathe again.  
Right where I want you to be again.  
See and believe_. "_

_

* * *

_

Emily's Pov.

_The last song finished and Emily couldn't help but gape at that blonde in admiration, she never expected Naomi to be in a band, let alone the lead singer. She realised that until now, she had never heard her sing before, but her voice was gentle and sweet yet powerful and melodic, she just suited the part._

_At times she could see that Naomi was nervous, the old Naomi wouldn't have dreamed of getting up on stage and singing. She had changed so much, but maybe there were still parts of the old her underneath. Not that Emily didn't like the way Naomi was now, in fact she liked it a lot, yet she expected it to be so much different after everything that had happened between them, she expected slaps, screams and a lot of anger, but then Emily hated herself for judging Naomi on the past, expecting her to be the same bitchy teenager was harsh and she regretted it. Sure people change, Katie was a perfect example of change, but Naomi was almost brand new. There had been a little tension and awkwardness between them but that was it, she really hadn't expected the blonde to be as friendly to her as she was, she didn't have to be._

_Fuck, Emily wish she knew what had happened after their break up, she wanted to know everything; she wanted to get to know her all over again. But Emily knew that she didn't have the rights to know or ask, it was all her fault after all._

_She thought back to the three songs that they played, they were all really good and Naomi sang them beautifully, but some of the lyrics, she couldn't help but feel that maybe they had more meaning to Naomi, they were…well, put it this way some definitely described Emily and what happened. Or maybe she was being paranoid, or maybe they were aimed at someone else. And then she began to wonder whether Naomi had been in love with anyone else since they broke up, the thought stung. But then she also wondered whether Naomi would go and put herself through that again, but she knew that Naomi wasn't that stupid to allow herself to get hurt again. So yeah, more than likely aimed at her, but what was she supposed to make of the loving lyrics? She told herself to never look that deep into it, they're just songs._

_Even after they all took their sits around the table again, and Naomi and her band mates had left the stage, Emily couldn't tear her eyes away from where she had just seen her performing. She was shocked, amazed and so proud of her, and from the way everyone else was watching her, she knew they felt the same. Katie was loving it, she couldn't stop talking about how good Naomi was and how good she looked, Emily just nodded and smiled, it was all true._

_It wasn't until someone clicked their fingers in her face that she finally tore her eyes away from the stage, she looked up to see Naomi standing in front of her with an amused smile on her face._

"_We left the stage like, five minutes ago, Ems. You can stop staring." She said playfully. It took a second for it to register in Emily's brain, and then she just grinned stupidly._

"_That was…amazing!" She emphasised the "amazing", Naomi's face lit up at her words and smiled a bigger smile, it was adorable._

"_Right," Naomi clapped her hands together, smiling around at the group, "Drinks are on me, you all in?" Of course they were, Naomi ventured off into the crowd towards the bar, and Emily couldn't see her through the mass of bodies so she turned her attention towards the conversations. Pandora was still jigging from the excitement, Cook kept saying "Good on, Blondie. Top fucking notch." Which made Emily smile, he looked so proud. Ryan, Sally and two boys who she remembered as Mike and Sam were talking amongst themselves, they all looked really happy. Katie was talking to JJ and his new girlfriend._

"_So, Emily, what did you think? " Effy asked her, Emily knew that Effy wasn't exactly fond of her, she didn't blame her. Freddie didn't seem to be either, or at least not at first, he had lightened a little bit now._

"_I wouldn't have expected that in a million years," Emily answered, Effy smiled and looked sort of…smug?_

"_Yeah, she's really pulled through." _

"_Yeah…"Emily whispered, "She was amazing, she looks amazing."_

"_Don't get any ideas, Emily."_

"_Effy…I wouldn't, I…"_

"_No, Emily, what I'm saying is don't screw her up. Don't run away again." Emily's eyes widened, she felt a little taken aback by Effy's words but more amazed, was she actually giving her permission to be in Naomi's life, to be her friend again? She thought Effy would tell her to back the fuck off and stay away from her, wow._

"_Thanks…" Emily smiled, Effy just shrugged and started snogging Freddie's face off._

_Cook picked up a conversation instead, they talked for a while about what they were doing now, and Emily was quite surprised when she found out that he actually worked in the club they were currently in, apparently he went to bartending school for a while and had learned to make all these fancy cocktails and other drinks and had gotten the job when he applied for it. He was totally different to how he used to be, sure he was still pervy and repulsive but it was more of a joke now, he was actually respectable now and seemed to have a better respect for women rather than just shagging however many he could whenever he could. He was actually quite sweet, and he spoke so highly of Naomi, which then reminded her, it had been quite a while since Naomi had left to get the drinks and she still hadn't returned. Emily wondered where she had gotten to and hoped she was alright._

_

* * *

_

**So what did you all think of Naomi's band and the songs I used? Also don't ask where I got their band name from, it just came to me and I decided to use it rather than spend ages thinking up another one. I really hope it was okay, I'm quite worried that it may sound shit, so please let me know.**

**And also, aren't you all wondering where Naomi has gotten to? Well you'll find out next chapter, next chapter gets interesting ;)**

**No copyright to the bands, they own their songs, I don't. Here are the songs that were used, it saves you scrolling up to find the names if you fancy checking them out, I recommend you do :)**

**First song: Bounce by The Cab.**

**Second song: Singing myself to sleep (Zzzz) by The Cab**

**Third song: Again by Flyleaf.**

**R&R please :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Yeah, So my mind is kinda foggy at the moment because I just got some disturbing news, so I'm sorry if this chapter is a bit shit.**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 10

Naomi's Pov.

_Naomi wondered over towards the bar with a bright smile on her face, a few people looked and would nod and smile, it made her feel good. She stopped at the bar and tapped her fingers against the polished wood whilst she waited for someone to serve her, an attractive woman with long black hair came to take her order, and Naomi gave her a sweet smile and received a flirty wink back from the woman before she turned to get the drinks. God life could be good sometimes._

_Whilst Naomi waited for the drinks, she couldn't help but think about how she was actually enjoying herself, sure she did this often in Cornwall but it wasn't the same without the old group, and now they were all together, even things with Emily and Katie had gone exceptionally well, everyone was getting along and their performance was great. For once she actually felt more than genuinely happy, the smile on her face wasn't forced, things were back to the way they should have been. A lot had changed for all of them, that was for sure, so maybe it was better that things happened the way they did, obviously not for Naomi, she'd have preferred a different reason for her changes, not the ones she had._

_The woman at the bar was taking a while to get the drinks, so Naomi turned around and leant against the bar to look at the people around her. There were quite a lot of fit people there, but a lot of them looked like snobs in their designer clothes and accessories and talking away like they're the only thing that matters. Yet there was also regular people there, people who were there to check out the new place or just have a few drinks in a snazzy area, she had to admit that it was a bloody nice place._

_Naomi looked to the side of her at a man drinking whisky on the rocks, he appeared to be there on his own. He looked like he was in his mid thirties and wore scraggy jeans and a t-shirt; he had short, greasy brown hair, stubble and didn't look like the type to be in a place as fancy as this. Maybe he'd just gotten out of a relationship and wanted to make himself feel better by going somewhere fancy, but when he looked up and noticed the blonde looking at him, she quickly span on her heel to face away, her heart pounding in her chest as she hoped he didn't recognise her._

_She was too late, she heard his chair squeak on the floor and felt him step towards her, she gulped._

"_I know you, don't I?" He asked, his dirty, gruff voice was exactly how she remembered it. She could feel him only centimetres from her, she wanted to run as far as she could but her feet were rooted to the floor._

_She didn't reply and then she felt an hand grip her arm and span her around to face him, she trembled and gasped as she saw his face, a scar ran from the side of his nose and along his cheek bone, just below his left eye, it had faded but it was still visible._

_His chapped lips turned up into a disgusting smile, revealing yellow teeth stained from smoking and alcohol._

"_Yeah I remember you, thank god you're fit, wouldn't have wanted to shag a mong." He said in the same sick voice and stepped a little closer, Naomi couldn't find the strength to run, she was frozen, pure terror took over her body but somehow her mind connected with her legs and she only managed to take a few steps backwards, only he continued to step forward, so she continued to step backwards, but when her back came into contact with the cold wall she knew that that had been his plan, he closed the distance between them so that their bodies were again only centimetres apart. He towered over her and she seemed to almost shrink under his tormenting glare yet she pressed herself harder into the wall, wishing that it would just swallow her so she wouldn't have to be in his presence. Everything flashed through her mind and every possible emotion ran through her body, all she could see was him and the back of his car, all she could feel was terror, degradation, fury, sorrow, betrayal, more anger and more terror, she was so scared of this man that her body couldn't function properly, she told herself to run but her body wouldn't obey, instead she trembled and wanted to be violently sick, but she couldn't do that either. All she could do was watch him as he leaned over her._

"_Hmm, maybe we need to go and have sex again, ya know to refresh your memory. " He grinned again and it made every emotion in Naomi ten times stronger._

"_What…" was all she managed to say and it come out as a shaky whisper. God she fucking hated herself for being so weak. He just raised his eyebrow and continued to grin like a slimy prick._

"_We need to have a shag in the back of my car again, and then you'll remember it all." Every emotion lightened at his words, but anger flared through her, it burned and all she could see was red._

"_It wasn't sex, it was rape." She snarled, no one around them was paying attention even though her words were loud enough to hear but she didn't notice the girl that wasn't far from them had frozen in her place._

_The prick began to laugh in her face, his whole body shook with laughter, he found it fucking hilarious, the sick bastard. Naomi gritted her teeth, she wasn't scared anymore, she was so fucking angry, she wanted to smash his face in so that he couldn't laugh again, and with that thought she clenched her fist and smashed it straight into his jaw, catching him off guard and causing him to stumble backwards. Naomi took the opportunity and moved as quickly as she could, she couldn't be in that confined space. But she wasn't quick enough, he gripped her shoulders and span her around again, but this time she lost her balance and they both tumbled to the floor, him on top of her. Again no one fucking noticed._

_His body crushed hers and memories of that night flashed through her mind again, this time she felt paralyzed yet her body automatically tried to fight him off as he pinned her like it was fucking programmed especially for this night. His head snapped up as someone screamed but he didn't move his position, and then the realisation struck her, was it happening again? Was it going to happen again? She still wasn't strong enough to fight him off, would anybody even notice? Her heart picked up it's pace, crashing into her chest repeatedly and she struggled again, tears forming in her eyes, she couldn't let it happen, she couldn't, she couldn't…_

"_Get the fuck off her!" A girl screamed, Naomi recognised the voice, but she couldn't think of whom. The weight on her body lifted a little, but he still didn't move, obviously the scream had attracted attention. Please, she begged, please let someone fucking stop him._

_And then suddenly, the weight was gone, she saw him being pulled up by someone, it took her a second to realise that Cook had come to her rescue, he shoved the man hard in the chest and was shouting something, but she couldn't make it out, everything was slightly blurred. But he needed to know._

"_James." She cried out, her voice thick with emotion. Cook looked at her, his eyes shining with fury and the need to protect, "It's him." His face blanked for a second, but he didn't need to hear it a second time. He grabbed the man and dragged him away, Freddie and JJ followed. _

_She stayed on the floor, she couldn't move, nothing was functioning, not even her vision or hearing, everything was fuzzy and she didn't even feel someone pull her to her feet until she came face to face with a shocked looking Effy. Katie and Emily were behind her, Emily looked terrified and confused, but Katie…she was looking at her differently, Naomi couldn't put her finger on it, maybe because she couldn't see anything fucking properly._

"_Come on." Effy whispered demandingly, and then she was moving through the bodies in the club towards the exit. How could she not get her body to obey yet Effy could?_

_A few seconds later, they were outside and the cold air hit Naomi like a ton of bricks, but it allowed her mind to clear. She slumped against the wall and let out a deep breath that she hadn't realised she'd been holding. She could feel the warmth from Effy's touch as the brunette rubbed her hands up and down Naomi's arms, she shivered and leaned in, resting her head on Effy's shoulder, her curly hair was soft against her face and she felt protected in her best friends embrace._

_Eventually Naomi pulled away and pressed herself to the wall again, she closed her eyes and breathed heavily, her heart still continued to pound in her chest._

"_Where's everyone else?" she managed to ask, her voice quiet and shaken._

"_Inside," Effy replied, her voice also quiet, "Told them to stay with Pandora and Thomas, I knew you wouldn't want a crowd." Naomi nodded and smiled weakly._

"_They weren't happy mind you. They didn't want me going but Katie was the one who saw it when she went to look for you. "Emily explained, Naomi's head snapped up to look at the older twin, she was looking to the floor and she wouldn't look up. And then Naomi realised…oh fuck._

"_You…you heard, didn't you? " Katie slowly looked up, her eyes meeting Naomi's, they were slightly teary and filled with confusion, shock, fear and…regret? She nodded, and Naomi's stomach did somersaults, she pressed her hand to her mouth._

"_Heard what? Can someone fucking tell me what the hell you're on about? "Emily demanded but Naomi couldn't answer even if she wanted to, she pushed past them and sprinted to the end of the building, she doubled over and emptied the contents in her stomach, someone lifted her hair away from her face and held it back, gentling rubbing her neck and back. She coughed and spluttered as her stomach convulsed, emptying the last remains until she was just heaving, she gasped for air, her breath came out in ragged whimpers as she tried to control the tears. Fuck, Katie knew. Could she hide it from Emily? Her mind swam with thoughts and images of Him, and she could no longer control the sob that tore through her body. She stepped back and fell against the wall, she just slid down until she was sitting on the floor and allowed the sobs to continue, Effy kneeled in front of her and cradled the blonde against her chest, Naomi sobbed against her t-shirt._

"_Fuck…Effy…I…I thought it was going to happen again. " She managed to say through her tears, but then sobbed harder at the thought, Effy held her even tighter, rocking her slightly and stroking her hair._

"_Shh, its okay, you're okay. Nothing's going to happen, I promise."_

_Eventually her sobs calmed, and so did she. Naomi pulled away again and looked at Effy who was watching her, they smiled at each other and Effy leaned forward and kissed her forehead, her cheek and the corner of her lips, Naomi kissed her cheek in return and they hugged each other again. Naomi finally stood up and stumbled towards the other two girls with Effy holding her hand, they stood there, no one uttered a word because none of them knew what to say, until Naomi finally sighed._

"_So…you know." She said to Katie, the girl just nodded again._

"_Is that why?" Naomi knew exactly what she was asking; she was asking if that was her reason for leaving._

"_Yes…" Naomi whispered, she breathed out and started to laugh. They all stared at her like she had gone crazy._

"_What a way to find out, huh." She giggled and shook her head._

"_Naomi…Naomi will you please tell me what's going on?" Emily begged, but Naomi was distracted by the noises from the alleyway, the pounding, the groans and the shouting. She smiled slyly and started walking towards them._

"_Naomi please!" Emily called out, but Naomi didn't stop._

"_Not now, Ems." She shouted back, she could feel the anger start to bubble through her body._

"_Why the fuck not, Naomi?!" Naomi span on her heel to look back at the girl._

"_Because I have business to attend to." Naomi spat and started down the alleyway, she could see four shadows, one against the wall and two standing at the side and one pinning the other. Naomi approached them, Freddie and JJ watched as she placed her hand on Cook's shoulder, he turned to look at her in surprise._

"_Let me have five minutes with him, James." He nodded and stepped to the side, Naomi stood in front of the man she detested more than anything or anyone, he looked at her, his nose was seriously bloody and so was his mouth, but still he grinned and opened his mouth to speak._

"_DON'T you fucking speak to me!" Naomi shouted, she was so fucking angry and she wanted him to fucking see it._

"_Why not princess, I –"_

"_SHE SAID DON'T FUCKING SPEAK YOU CUNT." Cook stepped forward with his fist raised but Naomi blocked him with her arm._

"_James, let me handle this." She whispered, and he stepped back reluctantly._

"_But he's right, I told you not to speak so I seriously suggest that you don't because you're going to listen to every damn fucking word that I have to say to you, understood?" He didn't say anything._

"_Good. I suppose you have no fucking idea what you put me through, but then why would you? You must be so fucking proud of yourself; seriously does it feel good knowing that you destroyed a seventeen year olds life? I bet you do, you should give yourself a medal mate because you done a good fucking job of it. "She didn't even think of the words, they just poured from her mouth and she could feel her anger growing by the second. He opened his mouth._

"_I SAID DON'T FUCKING SPEAK TO ME," she was glad that the music from the clubs was vibrating through the walls; her shouts would have been much easier to hear otherwise._

"_You know, I vowed to kill you if I ever saw you again, but quite frankly it's not worth going to prison for dirt," Naomi spat, she wasn't shouting but her voice was raised, "Because that's what you are, you're fucking dirt! I suppose that's why you did it, had to make yourself feel good somehow. Had to be proud of yourself because no one else would, well who the fuck blames them? You don't even deserve to walk this FUCKING EARTH. YOU'RE SHIT! YOU'RE NOTHING BUT FUCKING SHIT." Naomi couldn't control herself, every feeling that had built up inside of her over the past three years was finally rising up and spilling out. She breathed in and out between her gritted teeth; she formed a fist and smashed it into his face again, his head collided with the wall and he groaned in pain, but she wasn't finished, far from finished in fact. She grabbed the collar of his top and almost pressed her body to his, instead she stared into his face, and he actually looked scared. Fucking good, she could feel his breath against her face and she regretted breathing in._

_Whisky, aftershave, flashbacks, anger, uncontrollable anger._

_She jerked away from him, only to smash her fist into the side of his face over and over again. "YOU FUCKING RUINED MY LIFE! DOES IT FEEL GOOD? HOW DO YOU FUCKING LIKE IT?" She screamed in between punches, her fist was numb and throbbed unbearably but she didn't stop, she punched him in the chest, in the stomach. Kneed him in the groin and punched him across the face again, she couldn't stop._

_And then strong arms clasped around her and lift her from the ground, pulling her away. "GET THE FUCK OFF ME, I'M GONNA FUCKING SHOW HIM HOW I FEEL." But they didn't let go, only till she was at the other end of the alley that they dropped her._

"_Naomi, you need to calm down!" Cook tried to say and tried to calm her, but she couldn't, and she wasn't going to listen, but instead of forcing her way back, she turned and ran, she ignored them as they shout her name, she ignores the other sounds of footsteps. Instead she runs faster and continues to run, she doesn't stop even though her lungs are burning inside her chest and her throat is raw from the night air that she desperately tries to pull into her lungs, but they don't allow her to breathe. But Naomi doesn't care, she just keeps running until she reaches Effy's house, she tries to open the door but it's locked so she slams her fists against in, but then she remembers the key that Effy gave her and pulls it out of her pocket, hurriedly opening the door, throwing it open and leaving it. She sprints into the living room, dodging any obstacles and then she stops and collapses on the floor, desperately trying to breathe but she can't, she thinks her lungs have possibly shrivelled from the cold air so instead she crawls around until she finds half a bottle of vodka and pours the liquid into her mouth, it slips down her throat and into her body which instantly burns, but she continues to drink it until she thinks she's gonna choke. She pulls it away and gasps desperately for air, the alcohol makes her head spin and she feels like vomiting again. But then Effy, Katie and Emily rush into the room, and Effy dives forward to take the bottle from Naomi and tries to calm the hysterical girl, but Naomi pushes her away and clutches her throbbing head._

"_Naomi…" Naomi jumps up when she hears her voice and turns on the red head who sees the look on the blondes face and backs away slightly._

"_WHAT, HAVE YOU FINALLY DECIDED TO CARE EMILY? YOU REALLY WANT TO FUCKING KNOW? FINE I'LL TELL YOU, THREE YEARS AGO I WAS RAPED, THERE, YOU FUCKING HAPPY NOW?!"_

_Emily froze completely froze. Her eyes were wider than Naomi thought was possible and her mouth hung open, Naomi was pretty sure that she also stopped breathing, she didn't move an inch, and she just stared at Naomi who stared right back at her. Finally she moved, the muscle in her neck twitched as she tried to speak._

"_Wha…whe…wh…why didn't you tell me?" Emily was horrified, she could barely speak, move or do anything except stare, but Naomi just laughed, she felt sort of sadistic._

"_Why? Because I didn't need your fucking sympathy, that's why. What was I supposed to say "Oh hey, Emily, guess what? I just got raped, I'm terrified for my life but I thought you should know." No, Emily, I just needed you to be there and you couldn't even fucking do that. Everyone thinks you're so fucking innocent but you're not, you're a coward!" Naomi spat nastily. Tears formed in Emily's eyes but Naomi didn't stop, not even as her voice cracked with the emotion from the memories._

"_Little Emily Fitch, can't do anything wrong apart from Naomi Campbell. Oh, Emily's upset, what did nasty Naomi do now? Well I'll tell you what Naomi done, Naomi built walls because even from the moment her mother fell pregnant, people let her down, people who were supposed to love her let her down, so Naomi continued to build these walls so that no one could hurt her. But one day, little Emily Fitch decides to weave her way through and take control of everything that Naomi had spent so long building, and Naomi let her because she believed that Emily was different, Emily wouldn't hurt her but instead Emily was worse because one day she also left and destroyed Naomi, left her wondering why. So, why did you Emily? Why did you fucking leave me?"_

"_Because I was scared…" Emily cried, tears spilling down her cheeks. Naomi could feel her own tears falling too._

"_Scared, of what?!" Naomi screamed at her, she couldn't believe the hypocrisy in her words._

"_Of you, I was scared of you! "_

_Naomi froze, her mouth fell open and tears automatically formed only to fall a second later, she felt her heart shatter once again. The words didn't make sense, she didn't, she never…_

"_I…I never hurt you." She whispered, Emily sobbed and shook her head._

"_No, you never hurt me, but you couldn't see yourself. You were never yourself, anything could make you snap so easily and I couldn't control you…"_

"_But you were the only person who could!" Naomi whispered again, Emily shook her head again and took a step forward, Naomi felt so weak._

"_Maybe at first, but you got worse and you wouldn't talk to me, we weren't in a loving relationship anymore, we were just fucking. You weren't Naomi, you weren't my Naomi and I didn't know why! I thought you were just staying with me because of the promise you made to never run from me again, so I thought that if I ended it, you'd be happy. And then I saw you earlier and you were happy and I thought that was why…" _

_Naomi fell to the floor, she couldn't bare the weight of Emily's words, she couldn't bare the realisation or the strength of her tears. She sobbed hard; Emily kneeled down in front of her, her tears equally matching the blondes. Naomi managed to calm herself so that she could speak._

"_I'm only happy because I have to be, I've never been happy…never happy since you left. I thought…I thought you didn't love me anymore. "Naomi cried even harder and Emily wrapped her arms around her shaking form and they clung to each other desperately._

"_Of course I loved you, Naomi that never changed. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do and if I had known different then I wouldn't have left."_

"_I'm sorry…"_

"_Don't you dare apologise, Naomi. I mean you were…you were fucking…" Emily shook her head because she couldn't say the words, her face scrunched up as if the thought was physically hurting her, it was. "He fucking did that to you, I should have been there for you. You're right, I am a coward." Naomi couldn't hide it anymore._

"_I'm tainted, Emily, I'm fucking tainted by him. It's all I could see and feel, I…I can't even stand to be in my own skin because of him. I'm fucking tainted." Emily hugged her tighter._

"_No, he's gone; he's never going to hurt you again. I won't let him, I promise. I'm here, I won't leave again. I'm so sorry, Naomi. "_

_Naomi melted in her arms, and they stayed like that until they both finally calmed down, Naomi pulled away and smiled dimly._

"_I'm sorry you found out that way. " Emily shook her head again._

"_I'd have rather found out that way than not at all." _

"_I'm sorry, Ems."_

"_Don't be, you have no reason to be."_

"_But I-"_

"_Shh!" Emily placed a finger to her lips and laughed when Naomi tried to pout and then got up to comfort her sister who was still shaken from the whole thing. Naomi also got up and pulled Effy into the tightest hug, kissing her hair and face several times; she pulled back and cupped the girls face._

"_I fucking love you, Effy Stonem. So don't blame yourself for what happened tonight, it had to happen some time." Effy looked at her in shock and Naomi smiled._

"_I know you, Eff, I know how your mind works." Naomi kissed her forehead again and pulled away. "I'm gonna go to bed though, it's been too much for one day." Effy nodded and Naomi started to leave but then stopped by the doorway, she turned back and approached Katie, pulling her into a hug. It took the girl a second or two to register but then hugged her back; Naomi kissed the top of her head._

"_Missed you, Katiekins." She murmured and felt her smile, Naomi turned to Emily and gave her a gentle smile, and she then left the room and bounded up the stairs._

_Naomi entered the bathroom to change and freshen up, it didn't calm her headache, the aching throb in her chest didn't leave and she couldn't bare to look at her reflection in the mirror. She hated everything right now, hated that he had caused everything to fuck up and hated that she had pushed Emily away without even knowing it. She sighed; there was nothing she could do now._

_She left the bathroom and entered her room but stopped in her tracks when she laid eyes upon the red head that was waiting for her, she smiled and felt numb all over again even though the feeling never left her._

"_I just wanted to say goodnight and I'm sorry and…" Emily bowed her head, "I'm really glad you're back, Naomi." She turned to leave but Naomi reached out and grabbed her hand._

"_Don't…stay." Mixed emotions crossed Emily's face._

"_I…I don't want to be alone tonight." Emily's face softened, and then hardened as she blinked away tears but she agreed. They embraced again and made their way towards the bed, Naomi rested against the familiar body and instantly felt tiredness wash over her, but even with Emily holding her, she knew she wouldn't sleep peacefully._

_She could barely keep her eyes open and just before she fell asleep, she whispered something that she knew she'd probably regret in the morning because even though they both had their answers, it hadn't change them, they were Naomi and Emily, not Naomi and Emily as a couple. But she couldn't stop the words slipping from her lips._

"_I still love you."_

_

* * *

_

_**That was the hardest yet easiest chapter to write. I got so angry whilst I was writing the scene with the man, I just imagined that I was beating the shit out of him lol.**_

_**But really, what did you all think? R&R please, next chapter up soon :)**_


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks for all the reviews, you guys are awesome! So what's everyone expecting to happen in the rest of series 4? Naomi and Emily need to sort it out, am I right? :)**

**Enjoy this chapter!**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 11

Emily's Pov.

"_I still love you."_

_Emily's eyes widened as she heard the whisper from the blonde, what was it with this day? Why was everything suddenly trying to knock her off the tracks by throwing things at her that she wouldn't expect? Even as Naomi curled into her side, Emily couldn't relax, everything that she had learned in the past hour continued to haunt her mind, the voices kept on tormenting and driving her away from sleep, so she just led there with the blondes head on her chest and held her tightly, feeling a strong need to protect the girl even in her sleep. She looked down at her and lightly tucked a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear, Naomi didn't look peaceful but she didn't look broken anymore. Emily watched the blonde intently, even as a teenager, Naomi had always been beautiful but as a young adult she was breathtaking, the longer hair style suited her and made her look mature, the rock chic look made her look rebellious and sexy, but really she was still a sweet and gentle person._

_How anyone could hurt Naomi the way that motherfucker had was beyond her. Emily tried not to think about it but it was near damn impossible not to, the thought of Naomi going through it, the thought of him doing that to her…It made Emily feel sick to the stomach. It hurt so much knowing that Naomi suffered and there was nothing anyone could have done to prevent it, and then it occurred to her that she didn't even know when it happened. She knew it happened three years ago and that was why Naomi moved away, but when? And why wasn't Emily with her when it happened? Tears spilled from her eyes, if she had been with Naomi, it could have all been different. Naomi wouldn't have suffered, she wouldn't have moved and Emily wouldn't have broken up with her and Naomi wouldn't hate the skin she was in, all in all Naomi was the one who was always suffering and Emily didn't do anything but make her suffer more. Emily hated it, she hated every damn part of this fucking situation, she never intended on hurting Naomi, she only done what she thought was best for them, no…she only done what she thought was best for Naomi, but if she had known then it would have been different! She wouldn't have ended it with Naomi; she would have stayed and protected her through everything but she didn't because she believed that she was only making Naomi worse. She should have known, Naomi should have told her._

_Emily wasn't angry in the slightest, she was upset but not because Naomi didn't tell her, she couldn't be that selfish and in a way she understood Naomi's actions. She'd just have to make up for lost time and be there for her, it was all that she could think of, but at the end of the day she would do anything to make it right._

_Emily was glad that her thoughts had distracted her from sleep when Naomi suddenly began to twitch violently, she moaned and her head thrashed from side to side, her breathing became fast and ragged and her eyes were squeezed shut like she was in agony, her fists clenched and unclenched and Emily felt her heart break at the sound of the girls terrified whimper. Emily quickly shifted from her position to take hold of Naomi's shoulders and shake her lightly, no response, she continued to twitch and whimper. Emily shook her harder._

"_Naomi…Naomi! " It still didn't snap her out of her state. "Naomi babes wake up!" Emily finally shouted and Naomi's eyes snapped open, they just stared at each other as Naomi pants for breath until her bottom lip quivered and she shot up to bury herself against Emily's chest and bursts into tears. Emily was shocked but instantly wrapped her arms protectively around the blonde and stroked her hair until she calmed down, it didn't take long and Emily led back down on the bed, still cradling Naomi in her arms._

"_Shh, it's okay, it was just a dream, it's okay. " Emily whispered against Naomi's hair and then kissed it, causing Naomi to shudder slightly and then wipe her tear streaked face. She was still breathing fast and heavily and her body trembled but she seemed to relax a little with Emily whispering soothing words._

"_Thanks." Naomi whispered and Emily kissed her hair again._

"_Its okay, do you want to talk about it?" Naomi shivered but didn't reply, Emily was expecting it, she bit back a sigh._

"_I had flashbacks…of that night." Naomi began and shivered again, surprising Emily who squeezed her arm gently, indicating for her to continue._

"_I've had it before, the endless road, the orange glow from the streetlights, the car…him, the pain, and the fear." Her voice cracked and Emily felt her swallow, obviously trying to hold back the tears. "But then it changed and…it was me and you instead and…I was doing to you what he was doing to me…I was hurting you and you were begging me to stop in the exact same way that I begged him. I was hurting you and you were crying and…and…" She burst into tears again but this time they were more brutal sobs, Emily held her tightly and continued to stroke her hair, she was shocked and unsure of what to say until she heard Naomi apologising over and over again._

"_Hey…Naomi its okay, I'm here baby, it's okay. I'm here with you, we're alright." Emily cupped her face and brushed her thumbs across Naomi's soft cheeks, Emily had never seen her in this state before, she looked so broken and afraid. All she could do was hold and promise her that everything was going to be okay and Emily knew that Naomi needed that reassurance when she leaned in and pressed her lips softly to Emily's who without question kissed her back instantly. It wasn't a deep, passionate kiss, they were just small repeated pecks to show and reassure Naomi that she was safe and protected and cared for. It also allowed her to believe that she hadn't hurt Emily; they were both safe, together._

_Naomi pressed her lips to Emily's again, it was a smaller kiss but it lasted longer than the others, and Emily couldn't stop herself from deepening the kiss, she couldn't stop herself from sliding her tongue across Naomi's and becoming overwhelmed by her sweet taste. She couldn't stop herself from pushing Naomi softly down onto the bed and allowing the blonde to cling to her desperately, she couldn't stop herself when she knew she should because she in fact has a girlfriend, Freddie's sister, Caron. They didn't love each other, they both knew that because they admitted it, they were just having sex and enjoying each others company in something more than a friendship. Freddie didn't even know, they both knew he'd go crazy about it but it was easy to sneak around when Freddie was always with Effy and couldn't give a shit about what his sister was doing. Emily hadn't been in a proper relationship since Naomi, she had fucked a few girls that she met in clubs, they were just one night stands, she'd only occasionally allow it to last a bit longer if the girl was a good fuck, but it was hard to try and be with someone when her heart belonged to Naomi. But that's what made it so easy being with Caron because she knew that Emily was in love with Naomi and she knew that Emily would be with her if she ever got the chance to be. Caron didn't want Emily to love her and she wouldn't be upset if things ended between them because Caron just enjoyed the comfort and obviously the sex. They pretty much were just friends with benefits._

_But that wasn't why Emily knew she should stop, it wasn't because she was "cheating" on Caron, it was because Naomi didn't know and Emily didn't want to lie to her ever. But she couldn't stop it; she had been waiting for so long to be with Naomi and to feel their lips together. It was how they were supposed to be, together._

_Emily pulled away and stepped of the bed, pulling Naomi with her so that she could remove her clothes and Naomi did the same to her. Emily stopped and looked at the blonde beauty in front of her wearing only a black and white silk bra and matching girl boxers, fuck she looked good. Emily leaned forward and pressed her lips back to Naomi's and lowered her down onto the bed again, their skin brushed together and caused them both to shudder and goose bumps to rise. Emily grinded her hips into Naomi's, causing her to moan into the kiss, she brushed her hand against the soft stomach beneath her and then sliding it down into Naomi's boxers but before she continued, she whispered in Naomi's ear._

"_I love you too."_

_They made love repeatedly to each other for what seemed like the whole night, they both moaned and screamed in ecstasy, not caring for the other people in the house because nothing mattered apart from the fact that they were finally together. They curled into each other and fell asleep; Naomi wasn't disturbed by the nightmares again._

_Morning was going to come soon, and there was still a lot they needed to talk about, but until then, both girls were able to sleep easily because they knew they'd be waking up in each others arms after the years of not having each other._

_

* * *

_

_**This was just a filler chapter really, got bloody writers block again but I have a place to start from now so I guess this chapters helped in some way. I hope it's alright. So what do you think of Emily's girlfriend? Lol I know there is no way that Caron would like girls but hey! It's my story so I can make it happen, and I know its harsh Emily getting with Naomi but it'll be okay :) R&R please.**_


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks again for reviewing, really appreciate it :) Also check out my new story called Mistaken Judgement; I'll be writing it along side this one. So let me know what you think :)**

**I do not own skins.**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 12

Naomi's Pov.

Naomi didn't stir until the afternoon began to approach and she slowly began to remember the events that happened yesterday night and earlier this morning. She smiles to herself when she remembers a particular event involving a certain red head; she reaches out to touch Emily, only to find that the space next to her is empty, and cold. She shoots up in a panic and instantly begins to think that Emily had left her because she thought it was a mistake, her heart only returns to a normal pace when she hears a soft giggle from across the room and she looks round to find Emily sat on a chair in nothing but a big t-shirt, watching her with a happy smile on her face. Naomi smiled shyly at her and felt her heart swell instantly, Emily was there, and she really did mean what she said.

"Hey you." Naomi says with more confidence than she expected.

"You thought I left, didn't you?" Emily asked with no hint of anger or annoyance in her voice, her voice was huskier from sleep, exactly the way it used to be in the mornings. Naomi didn't reply, only bowed her head in embarrassment because that's exactly what she thought. She heard Emily shuffle from her seat and expected her to leave, Naomi looked up when she felt the bed dip and saw Emily sit besides her, still grinning, and Naomi swore that her heart skipped a beat or two when Emily cupped her face between her small hands and pressed their lips together for a few seconds. Emily then pulled back but left their foreheads touching and her thumbs caressing Naomi's cheek.

"I've only just got you back; there is no way I'll be leaving you again anytime soon." Naomi couldn't stop the grin that tugged on her lips and she kissed Emily over and over again.

"I've missed you so much." Naomi whispered against the red heads lips and kissed her again.

"I've missed you too baby." The blonde let out a small squeal and buried herself into Emily's chest who giggles and holds her tightly.

Effy, I love you so much, Naomi thinks to herself. She knew she'd have to go and jump on the brunette later.

"Naomi, there's something I need to tell you." Naomi pulls away instantly, worriedly scanning Emily's face hoping to see that there was nothing to worry about, but she's unsure of the emotion on Emily's face and she feels her heart slamming against her chest, she nods slightly for her to continue.

"I'm…sort of seeing someone." Shit, no, no, no! Naomi's throat tightens and tears threaten to rise.

"No baby, please listen to me. I've been seeing Freddie's sister, Caron, for a few months now," Naomi would have laughed if she wasn't feeling so sick, "It's hardly serious, she doesn't love me and I don't love her, it's just for the comfort of being together. She knows all about you and how I feel for you, and she knows that if I ever got the chance to be with you again then I would be. She's been really understanding of it all and she's helped me through so much."

"There's a "but" to this, isn't there?" Naomi whispers.

"Yes," Naomi closed her eyes because she could feel the tears coming on, her heart was breaking again and she was stupid for thinking that things could ever be so good.

"But, I wanted to tell you because Naomi, I want to be with you so badly. I never expected to see you again and I didn't expect it to go like this if I did. I want to be with you and knowing that you feel the same…there's no words to describe how good it feels. But I had to tell you because I couldn't lie to you; I couldn't start this of on a lie. "

Naomi probably would have blinked a couple of times if her eyes were open; she hadn't expected that at all even after all of the surprises in the past 24 hours. She opened her eyes to find Emily watching her again, but this time her eyes were filled with sadness.

"I'm sorry, I'll understand if you can't forgive me." Emily looked away, and Naomi found herself grinning again. She placed her fingers on Emily's chin and turned her face back towards hers and pressed their lips together with force, Naomi pushed her back so that she was leaning over the top of her and kissed her hard, and she spoke in between each kiss.

"I. Love. You. You. Stupid. Twat." They giggled and continued to kiss whilst rolling around on the bed, fighting to be on top, Emily won. Naomi slipped her fingers through her soft red hair and kissed the girl passionately, it lasted for a long time until they were forced to pull away for air and for the sake of their aching jaws. Instead they cuddled into each other and Naomi enjoyed the feeling of Emily's thumb stroking her cheek.

"Is it okay for me to go and see Caron? You know to explain to her about all of this. "Emily asked nervously, Naomi knew that she nervous because she was expecting her to snap and refuse and get jealous. But Naomi didn't react like that in the slightest because she wasn't jealous or angry in anyway.

"Of course, as long as you don't change your mind that is." Emily laughed and kissed her again.

"No chance baby, it's always been you that I've wanted." Naomi smiled and her heart swelled with adoration.

"Thank you, for telling me." Naomi whispered and Emily kissed her forehead affectionately.

"Thank you for telling me as well."

They didn't talk after that, there was no need to as enough was being said with the small kisses they shared, they cuddled until Naomi finally decided to drag herself up to get a shower, but then she requested Emily to join her, who obviously agreed and well…the shower lasted a lot longer than necessary. They got dressed and finally made their way downstairs and into the living room where they found Sally and Sam cuddled up on the sofa and Ryan with Katie sat on his lap on one of the chairs and Mike sat on the other, all watching tv. They looked up when the two girls' entered the room and instantly they all smirked. Oh god!

"About fucking time, I thought one of you had handcuffed the other to the head board or something." Sally exclaimed and grinned at them, the others laughed and Naomi could feel her face instantly starting to burn with embarrassment.

"There wouldn't be a head board left with the way they were going at it." Ryan teased.

"Seriously, Naoms, learn to keep it down. All we could hear was "Oh, Emily, don't stop. Ah, mm, oh my god, Emily." "Mike imitated Naomi in an incredibly high pitched voice and the room roared with laughter apart from Naomi who was completely embarrassed and gob smacked.

"Okay, okay! That's enough, jesus christ! "Naomi shook her head and tried to hide her face behind her hand; Emily laughed even more and wrapped her arm around her waist and pulled Naomi in for a kiss, only to be distracted by Sally shouting.

"Whoa, whoa, not in here, we heard enough last night we don't need to see it, thank you." Naomi glared and flipped her middle finger up at her before going to sit down on one of the chairs and pulling Emily onto her lap.

"Hey, Emily, I'm sorry for the way I acted yesterday, Effy explained everything to us and I've never seen Nomi this happy before. I love that girl so if you hurt her, I will kick your head in." Naomi gaped at the girl sat across from her.

"Yeah and so will we. Well actually no we won't but we'll get Sal to do it harder from us." Naomi then gaped at Ryan but Emily just laughed.

"Don't worry, there is no way I'll ever hurt her. I love her too much." Naomi smiled shyly and swore that her heart would burst if it loved Emily anymore than it did now. She leaned up for a kiss and then heard a groan from Katie.

"Ugh, get a room would you?"

"NO!" Sally shouted, scaring the shit out of Naomi. "Please don't get a room, I heard enough from you two to last me a life time! "

Naomi flipped her off again and pecked Emily on the lips and cuddled into her.

"So, Katie, anything you fancy telling me?" Naomi looked up to see Emily grinning at her sister with an eyebrow raised, obviously questioning the closeness between her and Ryan and Naomi found herself instantly interested in the conversation.

"Other than, next time put a pillow over Naomi's mouth, no I don't think so."

"Fuck you, Katiekins!" Naomi laughed.

"You wish babe."

"Hmm, nah I've had your sister in bed enough times so I know what she likes. " Naomi winked at the twin sister who now looked horrified; Emily giggled and slapped her arm playfully.

"I think we all know what she likes." Sam chuckled.

"Ah, oh, Naomi, oh my god, oh Naomi, right there, harder, ah." Mike imitated Emily in the same high pitched voice, Emily's face glowed almost as red as her hair and Naomi was unable to control the laughter.

"Ew, Mike, stop! That's my sister! " Katie groaned again and shook her heard, causing everyone to laugh even more just as Effy and Freddie entered the living room, both looking half asleep and their hair astray. They greeted them all with a mumble and sat down and the conversation continued with everyone making digs at Naomi and Emily. Although it was embarrassing, it was also rather amusing and it felt good for them all to be together and laughing, but it felt even better because Naomi finally had Emily back in her arms and they were happy.

"So, Naomi, are you going back to Cornwall?" Effy asked and winked at her, Naomi just grinned.

"As much as I love it there, my home is here." Naomi smiled up at Emily and kissed her cheek.

"Yeah, we can all get an apartment together and we'll be sorted." Ryan said happily, receiving a smile from Katie.

"Wait, you guys are staying too?" Naomi asked feeling a little shocked but mostly relieved.

"Of course, Naomi, friends stick together and we have as little reason to stay in Cornwall as you do."

"But what about your family?" Ryan raised his eyebrow and laughed.

"I'm almost twenty three babes so I think my family will be fine without me. And anyway, I can drive so I can visit them whenever."

Naomi grinned; she had never felt so happy before, everything was turning out so perfectly, too perfectly.

"Oh shit, I'm gonna have to go and see my mum! " Naomi rolled her eyes, seeing her mum was definitely something she didn't want to do.

"How is your mum, is she still with that prick from three years ago? " Emily frowned and so did Naomi because she actually had no idea whether she and Ian were still together.

"Fuck knows, haven't seen her in two years." Emily kissed her forehead and got up from the chair, she laughed when Naomi pouts.

"I have to go and sort things out, but call me tomorrow and we'll arrange to do something." Emily kissed her gently even though Naomi got up to walk her to the front door, Effy and Freddie followed them to go to the kitchen and say goodbye to Emily at the door.

Naomi cuddled and kissed her which made Emily giggle as she tried to break away so she could leave, but then she turned around.

"Freds…" Emily called out, confusing Naomi. He answered and poked his head round the doorway from the kitchen.

"I've been nailing your sister." She said quickly, pecked Naomi on the lips and darted from the house. Naomi looked back and forth in shock and then laughed, she closed the door as Freddie sighed and shook his head.

"Everyone has." He said; surprisingly not mad at Emily's confession.

"Ah, it gets worse mate, you owe Sal £20. " Sam states as he walks towards the kitchen, Freddie and Naomi both frowned.

"I do?"

"Yeah, she bet that Naomi and Emily would last longer in bed than you and Eff. And well, she was right." Freddie gaped and Naomi was soon on the floor clutching her sides from laughing.

* * *

**Aww happy times, this chapter has been the easiest to write so far but I'm happy with the way it's turned out, so I hope you all are too :) R&R and let me know what you think :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry for the delay, writers block is a bitch but here it is :) hope you like it!**

**

* * *

Chapter 13**

The rest of the day passed gracefully after Emily left, even though Naomi missed her instantly, everyone had been so understanding and accepting on the situation, and more than anything they were all glad that she was finally happy again. Cook went over later that day, but not for long as he announced that he had a date with a girl that he worked with, Naomi expected it to be a usual shag but he generally seemed interested in the girl, he called her beautiful instead of shaggable! Panda and Thomas, JJ and Anna visited too but they stayed until late after having been filled in with the events that they missed the night before, they were also happy at the news of Naomi and Emily being back together.

So overall, apart from the incident at the club, everything was going great, everything for once was perfect.

Naomi woke early the next morning, having planned to go and see her mum before she'd make her plans with Emily. Seeing her mum again was something that she was definitely nervous about, she hadn't seen her in two years, they barely spoke as Naomi tried her best to avoid her calls, but she knew that her life was changing now that she was back in Bristol, she had faced her demons and now it was time to set the resentment for her mother aside, forgive and forget.

Naomi hadn't called her mum to arrange a time or anything, she wanted to see her reaction when she turned up, the last time her mother had seen her she was in a hospital, strapped to machines and pretty much out of it. She was going to show her mum that she was better, she didn't need help anymore, and she could be a daughter again without trying to stab her boyfriend. Her thoughts then crossed over to Ian. Were they still together? Was he still a prick? Of course he would be but she didn't care as long as he didn't try to hit her again because unlike before, she'd retaliate.

After getting dressed and having breakfast, Naomi made her way to her old house, nerves hitting hard in her stomach from the moment she left. It didn't take her long to get there considering she was walking pretty slowly but she soon found herself standing outside of the small yellow house that she once called home. She swallowed, trying to settle some of the nerves but she then realised that she was pretty stupid for feeling nervous about seeing her own mother, so she tried as best as she could to ignore them and stepped up to the front door and tapped it lightly with her knuckles, she chewed on the inside of her lip as she waited for someone to answer.

No one answered right away but Naomi could hear the bustle from inside so she waited patiently. A blur of blonde moved from behind the glass and Naomi heard the lock pop and the door slowly opened to reveal the older blonde with the exact same eyes and features as Naomi. Her mother blinked a couple of times when her eyes met the familiar face of her daughter, almost as if she was questioning whether she was dreaming or not. Naomi couldn't help but smirk and then the older blonde let out a scream and pulled her into possibly the tightest hug ever and Naomi couldn't stop herself from smiling wildly and clinging to her mum, for the first time in her life she was actually happy to be in her presence.

After the rib crushing hug, Gina pulled her through the familiar hall way and into the kitchen. Naomi looked around; it was exactly how she remembered it, even the chairs and pots containing tea, coffee and sugar were in the same place. Every little detail was exactly the same to her memories of being there as a teenager. It was familiar and comfortable even if she did have the bad memories because the good outweighed the bad.

Naomi sat down on one of the wooden chairs and watched as her mother clattered around the kitchen to make them both a drink, clearly the shock and excitement of her sudden arrival had caused her mum to become a little boisterous. Naomi chuckled as she watched her mum act like a child on Christmas morning, it was sweet.

"I can't believe it, you're back! My baby is back, and look at you! "She gestures towards her daughter, "I always knew you'd be stunning and you are, you've grown up to be a beautiful young lady and you don't know how proud that makes me." Gina kissed her forehead and stroked her cheek, looking down at Naomi with tears in her eyes. Naomi smiled shyly, suddenly feeling self conscious under her mothers gaze, she must have noticed as she went back to making their tea. She placed the cups down on the table and sat down at the opposite end, once again gazing at her daughter in wonder.

"How long have you been back?" Gina asked when she sat down and played with her cup.

"Since Saturday"

"Why didn't you come and see me sooner? I've been waiting for so long to see you again, love."

The question annoyed Naomi because it was just so typical of her mother to say something like that. She had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes or coming out with a sarcastic comment.

"Sorry mum, we didn't get here till late on Saturday and then I had to unpack my things at Effy's and then they wanted to go out. So it's all been a bit rushed." Naomi smiled and hoped that her mum would believe her so she wouldn't have to go into full detail of what happened because then she'd have a lot of explaining to do and it wasn't the right time. She was glad when her mum reached across the table and held her hand, she smiled again.

"Oh well, you're here now and that's all that matters. How long are you staying for?"

"Um…I'm considering moving back actually. I'm staying with Effy until I can get my own place." Her mothers face lit up at her words.

"Don't be silly love, you can come and stay here until you're ready just so you don't feel like you have to rush and it'll give you and I time to catch up."

"Thanks mum, that means a lot but where would I stay?"

"In your old room, of course."

"What? I thought you would have changed that by now."

"Sweetheart, this is still your home and that is still your room and it'll always stay that way." Naomi smiled at her mum and felt a thick wave of appreciation towards her. She had expected it all to have changed as soon as she left to Cornwall, but knowing that her mum had kept it all the same because it was their home meant more to Naomi than she realised.

They fell into a comfortable silence as they continued to drink their tea but there was still something that Naomi wanted to ask.

"How's Ian?" She learned to hide the bitterness from her voice and asked like she was generally interested but she looked up in surprise when Gina snorted a laugh.

"Got rid of that prick a long time ago." Naomi's mouth dropped, she was glad that her mother had finally come to her senses but…

"What happened?"

"It was after I came to see you in hospital, I just couldn't handle the fact that I couldn't be there for you and he was being a shitty little prick so I kicked him out." Naomi laughed and shook her head.

"But there is a certain man that I really want you to meet."

"Jesus Christ mum, you're still getting around at your age?"

"Cheeky bitch, I am not that old!" They both chuckled, "I'm meeting him for dinner later; I'd love it if you came along."

Naomi was about to open her mouth to reject the offer because of her plans to see Emily, but the look that her mum was giving her; she knew she couldn't because it was obviously important and she knew that Emily would understand.

"Sure mum, I'll be there but I just need to go and make a call." Gina nodded and Naomi left the kitchen and ran up the stairs to her old bedroom.

She slowly pushed open the door and looked around the familiar room, it was exactly how she left it but tidier and with no smashed ornaments on the floor. Naomi smiled as all the memories spent in the room came flooding back to her. She jumped onto her double bed and sprawled out across the covers, she loved how it was just as comfortable as she remembered.

She pulled her mobile phone out from her jeans and searched for Emily's number and pressed the call button, suddenly feeling excited about hearing her lover's voice again, Emily answered after the first ring.

"Hey you." Naomi instantly smiled when she heard the beautiful husky voice through the phone.

"Hey beautiful, how are you?"

"I'm okay; I was actually going to call you. I can't see you today; mum and dad want to take us out for a family get together. I'm sorry; I was really looking forward to seeing you." Emily sighed and Naomi felt her heart sink, but then she remembered her reason for calling.

"Oh, no baby that's okay. I'm at my mum's and she wants me to go out and have dinner with her and her new man." We giggle.

"Wait, what happened between her and that other prick she was with?"

"Ian? Oh she finally came to her senses after she came to see me in hospital, thank god, I really hated him." Emily didn't reply.

"Ems, are you there?"

"Why were you in hospital?"

Oh shit, Naomi thinks to herself. She closed her eyes, she really didn't want to have this conversation but Emily told her the truth about Caron so it was only fair that she done the same.

"I, well…uh," She sighed. "It was after we broke up, I had a rough time." Emily also sighed.

"I'm so sorry." Emily whispered.

"Emily, we both know our reasons for what happened. And even though it was shit at the time, I'm glad because look at how we are now, we're together again and that's all that matters, okay? The past is the past."

"Yeah, I just wish I was seeing you today." An idea struck Naomi.

"Well maybe we can."

"What do you mean?"

"Where are you going out with your family?"

"Oh god, Naomi what are you suggesting?" Naomi laughed at her panicked voice.

"Calm down Ems, I'm not going to kidnap you or anything. I just thought that if I can convince my mum to go to the same place then we can just act surprised to see each other and they'll never know. Plus I really want to see Jenna again." Naomi grinned when she heard Emily giggle, seeing Mrs Fitch definitely would be interesting.

"I don't know where we're going yet but I can text you the details later. I hope mum doesn't flip out, I'd like her to get to know you this time."

"Well I can't promise that babe but I'll be on my best behaviour. "

"I know you will, anyway I should go but I'll text you later, I hope I get to see you."

"So do I baby, I know mum will love to see you as well. Remember to act surprised!"

"I will. I love you."

"I love you too."

Naomi still had a smile on her face even after they hung up and she happily bounded downstairs to rejoin her mother.

-

By three o'clock, Emily text to say that they were going out at five to some posh restaurant in town, it was typical of the Fitch family to want to go somewhere expensive. Naomi didn't lie to her mum, she told her that she and Emily were back together and she wanted to see her so that she could try and make a better impression on her family, luckily her mum agreed to go along with it and told her new man where to meet them, apparently he was very excited about meeting Naomi which she thought was a little weird.

At quarter to five Naomi and her mum drove into town and made their way towards the restaurant. Naomi wore light blue skinny jeans and a long white t-shirt with her leather jacket over the top, she sort of wished that she had dressed in something a little smarter that morning but there wasn't much she could do about it.

She looked around when they entered the restaurant, it was definitely going to be expensive and she hoped that they would be able to afford it, she looked towards the fancy bar and saw the twins standing there with their backs to her so Naomi told her mum to get a table before making her way over to the bar.

Emily's hair was straight this time and she wore a navy blue dress that hugged her body in all the right places, even just seeing the back of her girlfriend caused her to bite her lip and she couldn't fight off her grin as she walked over. Katie wore a black dress that was similar to Emily's with black tights and her hair was down and slightly curled. Naomi liked the fact that Katie no longer dressed like a slut, it gave her more respect for the twin.

Neither of the twins noticed as Naomi approached so she crossed the short space between them and slipped her hands over Emily's face to cover her eyes.

"Guess who?" Naomi whispered in her ear, Emily giggled and pulled her hands away and turned to face her with a bright smile.

"Naomi, what are you doing here?" Naomi almost forgot for a second that the whole thing was supposed to be unexpected.

"I'm having dinner with my mum and her new boyfriend." She threw in her classic eye roll, Katie just snorted.

"For fucks sake please! You two are so shit at acting; you're lucky that I was here and not mum."

"Do you think they'll mind?" Naomi asks knowing that there's no point in trying to play innocent.

"Honestly…" Katie begins.

"We have no idea." Emily finishes and smiled sadly; Naomi wrapped her arm around her girls' waist and kissed her forehead.

"Oh well, I get to see you so now I just have to survive my run in with Jenna and then dinner with mum and her boyfriend. I'm in for a good night." They all chuckled and Emily cuddled into Naomi's side.

"You look beautiful." Naomi whispered, Emily smiled and leaned up to press her lips to Naomi's for a quick kiss.

"Oh shit, guys they're coming back." Katie warned them, Naomi was about to pull her arm back from Emily's waist but Emily gripped it tightly.

"Emily, who's your friend?" Naomi recognises Rob Fitch's voice, they turn round to face Emily's parents, Jenna's smile fades to a frown when she sees the blonde and Naomi dropped her head to look at the floor.

"Um…Mum, Dad you remember Naomi, right?"

"Of course I do! How've you been kiddo?" Naomi looked up and smiled nervously, Emily squeezed her arm reassuringly.

"Um…I've been okay thank you, Mr Fitch. How about you?" The tall man with shaggy hair smiled his usual smile, the one that often freaked Naomi out. She quickly looked at Jenna who was just staring at her with her mouth open.

"I've been great but please call me Rob!" He outstretched his hand towards her.

"Okay, Rob." Naomi smiled and shook his hand firmly, he smiled approvingly.

"Nice handshake, do you work out?" The three girls giggled, Rob was still all for "Don't get fit, get Fitch."

"No but I play guitar which is a pretty good workout."

"Oh I see. So are you joining us for dinner, Naomi?"

"Oh no, I'm just here with my mum and…"

"Nonsense! You and your mother should definitely join us."

Naomi looked back and forth between Emily and Katie who both gave her a look so that she knew she had to say yes, it was probably better to stay in Rob's good books whilst she was there. But before accepting, she looked towards Jenna who had been silent the whole time.

"Mrs Fitch, would that be okay?" After being addressed, Jenna finally snapped out of her daze and shook her head lightly, almost as if to get her mind to work properly.

"Um…well, yes…of course. We'll go get a bigger table." Jenna left as quickly as possible, Rob smiled and then followed. Naomi just watched them in shock.

"Did I…really just get invited to dinner by your parents?" She asked in disbelief.

"Yeah…this is a great start so far." Emily smiled and cuddled her.

"Yeah but I thought mum was gonna shit a brick." Katie laughed and the other two joined in.

Katie left to find her parents who were more than likely in the middle of an argument and Emily followed Naomi to find her mum. When they did, Gina jumped up to hug Emily.

"Oh Emily it's so good to see you again, sweetheart. " She said whilst hugging the red head tightly, Naomi just watched with a smirk on her face.

"You too, Miss Campbell." Gina finally let her go.

"Oh huns please, call me Gina."

"Right, um mum, Emily's parents have invited us to go and have dinner with them."

"Oh that was lovely of them; well we best not keep them waiting."

They made their way towards the table that the rest of the Fitch family were sat at, James was there too, he looked the same as he did three years ago just a bit more grown up, and Naomi hoped that he had grown out of his pervyness too.

After the formal greetings between Gina and Emily's parents, they finally sat down. They were just about to order drinks when a tall man with spiky blonde hair, blue eyes and a lot of tattoos came towards them, it was only Gina stood up to greet him that Naomi realised that this was her date, she was shocked to say the least.

He introduced himself as Keith; he shook hands with both Rob and Jenna and said a gentle hello to the rest of them. From a far, he looked intimidating because of his big build and tattoos, but up close he was a gentle person and he'd look at Gina adoringly and beamed whenever he looked at Naomi. He seemed alright, Naomi liked him much better to her mothers past boyfriends.

They ordered the drinks and they all spoke whilst they waited for them to arrive but Gina and Keith talked mainly to each other like they were discussing something important, it wasn't until the drinks arrived that they finally spoke out.

"Naomi, there's something important we need to tell you." Her mum said and Naomi took a sip of her wine.

"Sure mum, what is it?" Her mum and Keith looked at each other and Naomi could see how nervous and unsure they looked, she frowned when they took a while to reply, the whole table was silent and waiting for them to speak. Keith reached out and took Naomi's hand.

"Naomi, darling, I'm your dad."

* * *

**So tell me, were any of you expecting that? ;) Tell me if you liked this or not! All of your reviews me so much to me so please R&R :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Thanks for the reviews; you guys are so lovely :) I'm glad that you were all surprised to; it was exactly what I was hoping for.**

**To ;P**: No it isn't uncle Keith, I completely forgot about him! But nah, he's a different guy lol :)

**To Puggles**: Wow. You really don't know how much you're comments mean to me and I'm so glad that I was able to make you react like that, but I'm sorry for getting you told off :P I've never experienced any kind of abuse either but I do know people who have and that's where I get my inspiration from. I'm able to think of a situation and then imagine how that person would feel and react, I can pretty much play the scene in my head like it's real life and I really appreciate your kind words because they make me want to carry on and do well. Don't worries, I wont stop writing :) Again, thank you so much. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story :)

* * *

Chapter 14

Everyone around the table was silent; nobody knew what to say as they looked back and forth between Naomi and the man who just claimed to be her father. The man who abandoned the woman who he supposedly loved when he found out she was pregnant with his child. Naomi had imagined meeting him thousands of times before but she never expected it to be like this, she imagined it to be accidental and she imagined hating him as much in person as she did from the description from her mother. But she didn't, even after five minutes of meeting him, Naomi had found herself getting excited about getting to know him because he was…cool. But knowing that he was actually her father, the man that broke her mothers heart and never spoke to either of them in over twenty years…it changed everything. Naomi couldn't see him as her father; she couldn't see him as anything but the reason for her fears and insecurities.

He was nothing like Naomi thought he would be, she had never seen pictures of him so she expected him to be like any ordinary father, the type of guy who would tuck his t-shirt into his jeans and want his daughter to go to some top university so that she doesn't make the same mistake as he did as a teenager. But he wasn't that kind of dad, he wore a band t-shirt and designer jeans, both of his arms were covered in tattoos and he looked like he would be in a rock band. Naomi hated it, she hated that he seemed like a decent guy when she knew different, she hated that she thought he was cool and she hated that deep down she wanted to forgot about the past and get to know him, but she couldn't, she couldn't forgive him and she couldn't stand that he had the nerve to sit there in front of her and expect her to leap into his arms just because daddy finally decided to come home.

Even with all the thoughts spinning around her mind, Naomi couldn't do anything but stare at him with her mouth hanging open, she could feel Emily's concerned gaze on the side of her face, actually she could feel everyone's concerned gaze on her face. She didn't know what to do; she could feel her mouth twitch as she tried to form words but she almost thought that she'd lost the ability to speak. She couldn't say anything she wanted to say because she didn't know what she wanted to say, so instead she'd have to run.

"You're having a fucking laugh, right?" She choked out with more strength than she thought she had. Her da…Keith shook his head and smiled, giving her hand that she forgot he was holding a little squeeze.

"Of course not Naomi, you're my daughter and I'm here to make things right."

There was no way that he could possibly make things right, he couldn't do that, not after twenty years of not being in her life in the slightest possible way. Why now, why did he think that he could make things right after all this time?

Naomi yanked her hand away from his with such speed that it was almost like he had electrocuted her, he looked at her in shock and disappointment. She looked away from the similar blue eyes and stared at the white cloth that covered the table instead as every thought and emotion took over. She couldn't believe that it was really happening, even after everything that she had been through, this came to her as a bigger shock than anything else.

"Just…'cuse me." Naomi mumbled and shoved her chair back. She wasn't even sure if anyone said anything, it didn't matter because she would have ignored them anyway as she literally ran out of the restaurant.

The temperature outside was warm but Naomi still shivered as she pulled her cigarettes out from her pocket, she lit one and sucked hard on the stick as she was desperate for the nicotine. She leaned against the brick wall and polished off the cigarette after a couple of long drags, but it still hadn't calmed her down so she pulled out another.

What was she really supposed to think or feel about it? That man betrayed her before she even left the womb; he left her and caused her to suffer just because of his own stupid mistake.

As a child, Naomi wanted him in her life; she would have done anything to be one of them kids that sit on their dads shoulders when they picked them up from school. She used to watch the other kids as they happily ran into their parents arms and she always wondered why she only had a mummy when the other kids had a mummy and a daddy. It didn't last long as her curiosity eventually turned into resentment; even as a child her mum would say the same thing when she asked about her dad.

"He's a shitty little prick; you don't need to worry about him love." Naomi didn't understand so obviously she assumed that there was no harm in repeating her mother's words when she was asked about her parents in class, she didn't understand why she was sent out from class, they told her that they were bad words and she wasn't allowed to say them, she didn't understand why her mother would say bad things about her dad but she took no notice of it. It wasn't until she was old enough to understand that she realised that the reason why her dad wasn't there was because he was a bad person and she hated him even though she still pined for him to be in her life. Eventually the pining stopped and all that was left was the hatred, she hated him and she hated every kid who had a good dad.

The insecurities and the fear of allowing people to get close to her didn't start until she started middle school, she was never really friends with any of the other kids from primary school and so she had no one. A few people would try and befriend her but would eventually give up when they realised that she wasn't interested in being friends with them. It stayed that way, she remained friendless because it kept her safe, and nobody knew anything about her so she had no worry of being betrayed. The only time when she felt something other than resentment and loathing was when Emily kissed her for the first time at the party and even though Emily lied and allowed everyone to believe that Naomi had kissed her, she couldn't hold it against her. Sure she tried but the red head always had her ways of getting them to talk which led to them getting closer, Emily was able to work through her barriers and that frightened Naomi and caused her to run. She ran so many times from the girl she loved because of her dad, she was scared of allowing someone to know and love her because that made her vulnerable and she was scared of being hurt just like her mum had been. But by running she was doing exactly what her father had done to her mother, she was running and hurting the girl that loved her. She loved Emily and Emily loved her back, they made each other happy and that was all that mattered, it was enough to stop her from running and she found that she was happier when she let people in. So even after everything went wrong between them, even when she threw her barriers back up she wasn't able to completely push people away like she used to. She couldn't go back to being alone.

It didn't take Naomi long to smoke through her second cigarette and she still didn't feel ready to make a decision, walk away or go back in? She was equally as mad at her mother as she was at Keith, how could she spend all twenty years of Naomi's life penetrating her mind with nothing but bad thoughts about her father but now she could sit in there with him and act like a happy fucking family? How was she even able to forgive him after everything he put her through?

Naomi sighed and shook her head; she then pulled out a third cigarette.

"Naomi…" She recognised Emily's soft voice and so she turned to face her, the red head was only a couple of steps away from her and Naomi could see the concern in her beautiful brown eyes. She smiled slightly, giving Emily the confidence to cross the distance and wrap her arms around the blonde, Naomi snuggled into her and suddenly felt better, but it wasn't enough to make her forget.

"Are you okay?" Emily whispered against her hair, Naomi shrugged.

"Honestly? I don't know." She pulled back and rested her head against the wall and smoked the rest of her cigarette before it burned out. Emily didn't answer straight away.

"Maybe…maybe you should give them a chance." Naomi choked on the smoke that she had pulled into her lungs.

"Are you fucking with me?"

"No babe but maybe you should at least just hear them out."

"Why, why the fuck should I?"

"Because…maybe there's more to it than you know. I mean, they look happy together." Naomi's heart clenched at her words.

Her mum deserved to be happy, was she being selfish by not wanting them to be together just because she resented her father? Naomi knew that her mum truly did love him even though she constantly insulted him; it was just a mask, a way to make herself feel better. She thought about her and Emily and everything that happened between them, there were still some unanswered questions but they could wait because they both knew the main important factor of their break up, it was a misunderstanding.

What if…what if what happened between her mum and Keith was also a misunderstanding? What if there was something that neither her mum nor Naomi knew about? Was that the reason why her mum was able to forgive him so easily after he hurt her so bad?

No…Naomi shook her head. It couldn't be like that, he was just an asshole who wanted only fun but he fucked up so he decided to run because it was the easiest thing to do. Her mother was just naïve.

She decided to go back and to listen to him, but only so she could tell him to fuck off.

"Fine, I'll be expecting disappointment." Naomi flicked away the end of her cigarette and stepped away from the wall, Emily wrapped her arms around her again but this time she leaned up and pressed her lips lightly to Naomi's.

"I love you." Emily whispered against her lips. Naomi smiled and kissed her softly before turning to face the entrance of the restaurant, she took a deep breath and made her way back through.

It was time to tell him to do what he did best, leave.

Everyone at the table looked up when they made their way back to them, nobody said anything they just watched as they sat down. Katie smiled at Naomi when she caught her eye, she had a look that mirrored Emily's look outside, sometimes they really were more alike than they realised. Even James and Rob gave Naomi a look that said "It'll be okay, you're brave." It was weird to be receiving support and concern from a family that was supposed to hate her, well Jenna still refused to look at her and that hadn't changed even after what just happened but Naomi felt a little bad that her dysfunctional family had ruined their family evening.

Conversation eventually picked up when they ordered their meals and they finally arrived but it was mainly between the Fitch family, neither Gina nor Keith had found the courage to speak to their daughter.

"So Naomi, what do you do?" Rob asked curiously and Naomi couldn't help but think that that should have been a question her own father should have asked.

"Well, I'm in a band and I worked in an instrument store back in Cornwall but I'm going to have to find a new job now that I'm here."

"Ah well that's great love. We're hiring people down at the gym so you should pop down and have a look."

"That's great, Mr Fitch. I definitely will." Working in a gym was definitely not something that Naomi wanted to do, but seeing the glint in Rob's eyes and seeing the way his face lit up in a bright grin when she said she would was so worth it. It was nice getting along with at least one of Emily's parents. She turned towards the red head who was smiling at her, she was obviously thinking the same thing about her and Rob, Naomi smiled back and kissed her cheek lovingly.

"You didn't tell me Naomi was in a band." Keith states to Gina, Naomi glared at them.

"I didn't know either, this is the first time I've seen her in two years." Gina replied, oblivious to her daughters glare.

"I wonder why that is." Naomi snapped and once again everyone fell silent. Gina opened her mouth to reply but Keith beat her to it.

"Well I think it's great, I used to be in a band at your age." Naomi rolled her eyes.

"If you're trying to make me feel better about this whole situation then you're doing a pretty shit job at it." Keith sighed and Emily squeezed her hand underneath the table. It was true; none of it was making her feel better. By knowing that he was also once in a band just made her feel like shit, she only shared some similarities to her mother like her looks and her attitude but that was it, she loved her mum even if she was a dozy cow at times. But Naomi always wondered whether she was like dad, she hoped that she wasn't but that just proved that she was and it meant that she had inherited her one true passion in life from him, she hated it.

"Naomi I'm sorry, I know that doesn't make up for what I done but you have to understand that I was young and stupid. I wasn't ready for it so I panicked and ran. Haven't you ever run when you were scared? "

Naomi looked away and she felt Emily squeeze her hand again, she had run plenty of times when she got scared and it was his entire fault, she hated that he almost seemed to know her.

"Yeah," she whispered, "But here's the difference." She looked up to meet his eyes, "I came back!"

Keith didn't reply straight away but when he did, he said something that Naomi was not expecting.

"Come to the pub with me." Her eyebrows furrowed into a frown.

"Why?" Naomi answered simply; she was surprised but slightly more curious.

"Because we need to talk, just you and I and this isn't the right place for it." A part of Naomi wanted to refuse his offer but she did fancy a beer and she was starting to feel uncomfortable talking about her family issues in front of Emily and her family.

She turned to Emily who just smiled and nodded so she leaned in and pecked her lips softly.

"Look after my mum, I won't be long." Naomi whispered in Emily's ear and then stood up, Keith did the same. She was about to walk of but then she stopped and turned back to the Fitch's.

"I'm really sorry about all of this." She truly was but she turned around and left quickly before they could reply.

It took them less than a couple of minutes to walk to one of the pubs. Naomi was glad that it wasn't too far away from the restaurant because she could easily run back if he pissed her off too much.

The pub was small and grotty but other than that it didn't seem so bad. Keith explained that it was his favourite pub because he knew all of the people that would go there and apparently sometimes they'd have crazy karaoke nights. Naomi just listened as he spoke but didn't bother to reply.

They sat down in front of the bar and the middle aged bar man came up to them instantly, he eyed Naomi curiously and then grinned.

"Ah Keith, always knew ya had a thing for blondes but isn't this one a bit young?" Naomi cringed and wanted to be sick then and there. She also wanted to floor Keith when he chuckled.

"Bill, this is my daughter, Naomi." Ugh, she hated that word.

The stupid grin on Bill's face faded as he looked back and forth between the two blondes but then his face lit up softly in understanding.

"My apologies love. It's good to finally meet ya, Keith's told me a lot about ya." Naomi scoffed.

"I'd like to know how since he doesn't know anything about me."

"Maybe not, but every time he comes in here he talks about how much he wants to meet you." Naomi scoffed again but this time it was to hide her almost smile.

"Drinks are on the house for this special event. What do ya want love, wine?"

"I'll have a bud, thanks."

"Ah, just like ya father I see." Bill laughed and placed two bottles on the table; Naomi rolled her eyes and growled quietly.

They drank their beers in silence as Bill went to serve someone else. It didn't take long for them both to finish their beers which Naomi thought was a bit fucking weird. It wasn't until they were on their third round that they finally spoke.

"So what do you want to know, Naomi? " He asked calmly. Naomi slammed her third empty beer bottle down on the table and turned to look straight at him.

"I want to know everything from the beginning. How you met, what happened, why you ran away, where you went and what you did and why you're back now."

"Alright, but I think we're going to need something a bit stronger than beer."

* * *

**So what did you all think of this chapter and what do you think is going to happen at the pub? Let me know how you feel about this chapter as your reviews mean so much to me :) R&R my lovelies! **


	16. Chapter 16

**Thanks for all the reviews guys :) you all rock! Hope I don't disappoint!**

**I do not own skins in any way possible!**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 15

Keith ordered ten shots of tequila, five for him and five for Naomi and two more beers, Naomi downed two of the shots and cringed as the liquid burned through her but she washed it down with a few swigs of her beer. She felt lighter and it was what she needed, she was far too tense before but she now felt interested in knowing what her…dad had to say. He followed her actions but didn't cringe as much as she had, which annoyed her ever so slightly.

"We knew each other from college; your mum was bright and political but fierce, much like you were apparently. Anyway, I always had fancied her but she turned down every guy that asked her out so I never had the confidence to ask her." He downed another shot but Naomi continued to watch him intently.

"It wasn't until the end of our second year that we got together. At first it was an accident that happened at a party but then I found out that she liked me as much as I liked her. We were a flawless happy couple but after a while things started to get difficult. Your mum, she wanted to travel the world but I wanted to go further with my band and maybe learn how to tattoo. But everything changed when she found out she was pregnant with you, she didn't want to travel or do anything that she originally planned, she wanted us to settle down and have you and be a happy family." They both downed another shot as they knew what part was coming.

"We were barely nineteen years old. I loved her but the commitment scared me and I panicked, the only thing I could think of to do was run."

Naomi knocked back the rest of her shots; she held the small glass in her hand so tight that her knuckles turned white and she thought the glass might shatter. She had heard the story many times from her mother but it didn't make her feel any better by hearing it from her dad, instead it made her angry to hear that he really was just a coward. She was trying her best to hold back on the anger that was bubbling inside of her just so that she could allow him to finish telling his story; all she wanted to know was the truth and nothing more. After that she wanted nothing more to doings with him.

"Where did you go?" She snapped bitterly, he sighed and finished his shots.

"I have family up in Sheffield so I went to stay with them, I stayed there for a couple of years and then I moved around to different places. I'm a tattooist now so I've travelled around for training. I always wanted to come and visit but you should have heard your mum when I phoned her one night." He chuckled and sipped his beer. "She went absolutely ballistic at me, wouldn't let me get a word in edge ways. It was horrible hearing her scream and cry and knowing that it was my fault. I tried kid, I really tried and I know it doesn't make up for what I done but…"

"Just get on with the story." Naomi cut in; she wasn't in the mood for his apologies.

"Okay, so the years passed and I tried to get on with my life but I always found that I was never satisfied with the way things were, no matter where I was or what I was doing. I could never stop thinking about your mother and I couldn't stop thinking about you, the only thing she told me about you was that you were a girl and your name was Naomi. I wanted to know you, I wanted to be there for you and do all the things a dad is supposed to do," Naomi looked away as she felt tears well up in her eyes.

"I always wondered whether you would be like me, a part of me hoped that you wouldn't be because I've been nothing but shit to you. I knew you'd look like your mother, and you do, except she doesn't scowl as often as you do." He laughed when Naomi looked up and scowled at him but it slowly faded to a slight smile.

"Your mum and I met about six months ago, I was visiting Bristol to do a tattoo for one of my friends from college but curiosity got the better of me. I couldn't be there and not see her, so I asked around until someone gave me your address. She was surprised to see me but so fucking angry as well. She screamed at me, hit me, threw things at me, it wouldn't have surprised me if she tried to kill me. Eventually she just broke down…" They downed more shots, the tequila no longer burned Naomi's throat, the feeling was now quite pleasant so instead they moved onto something different and went for apple sours which was coincidently their favourite.

"How're you feeling?" Keith asked Naomi as he watched her knock back the shots with ease, it surprised him to see how well his daughter could handle the amount of alcohol she just consumed. Naomi nodded.

"Fine, I drank a lot in Cornwall so this is nothing. Continue." It was true, Naomi drank hell of a lot when she was in Cornwall, it started after the break up but even after she sorted herself out there were plenty of nights when she and her band mates would go to the pub and get smashed or they'd stay in and get smashed. She spent the better part of three years killing her liver so this was nothing different.

"Right, so after we finally talked, or at least I talked and she pretended to ignore me. The whole situation was messed up and it was difficult for us to try and talk things through, I don't blame your mother for acting that way though, I deserved it. But eventually it became easier, she eventually listened to me and we talked it through.

She was still angry but she agreed to meet me the next day for coffee. It went better than I expected, we spent the whole time talking like we used to and well, it just went from there. I stayed in Bristol for longer than I was supposed to and we continued to see each other for the first month or so. I hated that you weren't there as I really wanted to finally meet you, your mum told me so much but I decided that I wanted to sort things between us before I came to find you. And here we are today, you coming back were a total surprise but it seemed like the perfect time."

Naomi nodded; she didn't really know what to say as she didn't expect anything different. What was she supposed to do, was she supposed to forgive him and tell him that they could have a father daughter relationship? She had always wanted that but now she wasn't so sure, her mind was telling her that he deserved a second chance because he was at least trying to make amends. They were alike in many more ways than one so of course she understood his reasons for running away, she would have probably done the same things if she were in his shoes.

Hating him didn't make Naomi feel better; it didn't stop the past from hurting but would forgiving make any difference? She was confident that she was just going to hear him out and then tell him to fuck off but now she wasn't so sure, it didn't help that Emily's words repeated themselves in her head. Her mum seemed happy, Naomi knew that she hadn't stopped loving her dad no matter how much she claimed that she hated him, Naomi could see straight through her mums barriers.

She thought of her and Emily, as teenagers Emily had managed to forgive her after all the times she had run away and pushed her out, Naomi had hurt her countless times because she was scared but Emily still forgave her. Even after the two and a half years of being without each other, their love remained as strong as it had been when it started, if anything it was actually stronger. They loved each other more than anything else and that was all they ever needed, nothing would ever stop them from loving each other, not even the past.

Was that the same for her mum and dad? Could Naomi really deny their happiness because of the past, or was she just scared again?

Of course she was scared, in fact she was terrified that he'd run again if she accepted him back into her life.

But she had expected the same from Emily when she first discovered her feelings for the red head, Naomi thought if she let Emily in then Emily would fuck her up and hurt her, but she never did.

Fuck, she felt so confused.

"More shots." She ordered and Keith obeyed, they both threw the bright green liquid down their throats and slammed the glasses on the table.

"Man, you can really drink." Keith laughed as Naomi downed another one.

"Like I said, I drank a lot when I was in Cornwall, plus I'm hardly moving so it hasn't spread to the rest of my body yet."

They sat there in silence, it wasn't awkward but it wasn't comfortable. Naomi thought of Emily and wondered if she was okay, she wondered if her mum was okay since they had just left her on her own with a family that she barely knew. She knew that Emily would keep her company though; they always did have a weird friendship between them. Naomi wanted to get back as quickly as possible so that she could be with Emily, but she knew that Emily wouldn't be happy if she hadn't made some progress with her dad. She nibbled on her lip as she thought of something to say but then her eyes drifted over his tattooed arms.

"So you're a tattooist?" She asked and he looked at her in shock, he didn't think Naomi would try to make a general conversation between them, but he answered nonetheless.

"Yeah, I became an apprentice when I moved to Sheffield and once I finished I moved around so I could get different training and learn other people's techniques. Do you have any tattoos?"

"Nah, but maybe you could design one for me?" His face lit up at her words.

"I'd love to, have you got any ideas?"

"I don't know, I think I want something small so I can decide whether I like it or not."

"That'd probably be best; you might want to put it somewhere that you can hide it, just in case if you don't like it."

"Hmm, I was thinking maybe a star on my stomach or by my hip."

"But what if you have kids?"

"Dad, I'm gay."

Keith looked as startled as Naomi felt by that statement, not because she said that she was gay but because she called him dad. She didn't think, it just felt natural to say it, just as it felt natural to sit there and have an easy conversation with him. It all came to her so easily like they had spoken on a regular basis.

"I…I know. I was thinking just in case you and Emily decide to have children." Naomi burst out laughing not only at his forwardness but the whole idea of it. Keith looked at her with a slight worried and confused expression.

"We've only just gotten back together, but if we ever did decide to do it by artificial insemination then there is no way in hell I'll be carrying it." They both laughed and fell into a now comfortable silence.

"Emily…she seems nice." Keith said thoughtfully, the alcohol was slowly starting to take effect on the both of them as they turned to a carefree conversation.

"She's more than nice…she's lovely…she's perfect." Naomi smiled lightly as she thought of the red head.

"Well she's got my approval." Keith laughed and Naomi joined in and nudged him playfully.

"Oh so my girlfriend needs your approval now does she?" She teased and they continued to laugh. It was easy, it was genuine…it was the alcohol.

"Come on," she shifted in her seat. "We should get back to our lovers."

Keith nodded and stood up from his seat, Naomi did the same but almost fell over as she felt as though someone had stolen her legs but Keith held her up and she giggled, the shots had finally taken effect.

They walked out from the pub and started making their way back towards the restaurant. Naomi giggled and stumbled and Keith helped to keep her on her feet. They got to the end of the road just as Gina, Emily and the rest of the Fitches walked out from the restaurant. Naomi squealed and ran towards the now startled red head.

"Emiiiilyyyy darliiiiing!" She threw her arms around the girl and almost knocked them both over.

"Fucking hell Naomi…Jesus how much have you been drinking?" Emily choked out as Naomi smothered her with kisses.

"Your girlfriend's a tank," Keith laughed as he wrapped his arms around Gina. "She's had four beers and god knows how many shots of tequila and apple sours." Naomi giggled into Emily's neck.

"Hey baby, what do you think of me getting a tattoo?" Naomi raised her eyebrows and smirked at Emily.

"What, are you serious?"

"Yeah, don't worry we have it all planned out. You'll be carrying the baby so I won't have to worry about it stretching!" She giggled and stumbled away from the gob smacked red head.

"Huh?!"

* * *

**Let me know what you think guys! I got this up as fast as I could, mainly because ****FaithSky**** threatened to attack me with a spade ;D**

**R&R!**


	17. Chapter 17

**So Thursday's episode was really shocking and emotional and it left me feeling quite devastated. But let's hope that these fics can get us all back to feeling good again :)**

**I'm really sorry about the delay of updates for this story guys. I'm really stuck into Mistake Judgement at the moment! I'm not too sure where I'm taking this so just a random chapter at the moment :) **

**Anyway I hope you enjoy and thank you for all the support :)**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 16

Naomi woke up restlessly even after a good 12 hours of sleep. A persistent headache throbbed through every inch of her skull and her stomach cart wheeled with any slight movement. A wave of sickness washed over her from the moment she opened her eyes. Hangovers are a bitch.

Naomi groaned as her stomach convulsed and she darted to the bathroom to cuddle the toilet, she wasn't hung over enough to vomit out her insides but it was the comfort of knowing it was there, just in case.

After twenty minutes or so, Naomi was finally able to stand without feeling nauseous. She stood up to check her appearance, eyeliner was smudged around her face giving her panda eyes, her hair was tousled and knotted and her clothes were rumpled from diving straight into bed when she got home.

She remembered the night clearly; she remembered the talk and everything that her dad told her. She also remembered making a complete prat out of herself in front of Emily. Naomi groaned and shook her head; she needed to learn to keep her mouth shut after the consumption of alcohol.

The time was approaching 11am; Naomi had decided to go home with her mother after the events of the night before, the only problem was that her mum had persuaded Keith to stay as well, she claimed it was because she didn't want him to go home after drinking, but Naomi knew that really she was hoping that everything would sort out between them and they could play happy family, like nothing ever happened.

Naomi couldn't do that, it was impossible. Obviously she didn't care much about the idea when she had alcohol burning in her system, but there was none now, she was stone cold sober and able to feel every possible feeling. She felt betrayed and hurt and…jealous. Jealous of the fact that her mum was able to forgive him and move on with her life but she couldn't, Naomi wanted to, deep down there was a part of her that so desperately wanted to forgive her dad for all of his past mistakes and allow him to treat her like a daughter.

But that would mean that she would have to imagine that it never happened, and that's impossible and pointless. Times can't be reversed, once its happened, it's happened. There's no turning back from that, once you've done something whether it's good or bad, it's forever encrypted into a memory. It may affect some people, it might not but that doesn't stop it from not happening.

But Naomi had also made mistakes before, and all of her friends had made mistakes but in the end they all forgave each other one way or another. So what made this situation any different? What made her dad less deserving of a second chance than the rest of them?

Naomi shook her head again. Sure they had all made mistakes but they were minor, they only affected a few months of their teenage lives. His mistake had taken its toll on the whole of Naomi's life, not only had he messed up her life before she was even born but he messed up her mums. His mistake made a huge fucking difference and it shouldn't have taken him twenty years to finally stand up to what he done wrong.

It wasn't fair, none of it was. He had no rights to think that he could dive into her life and beg her for forgiveness when he only made pitiful attempts to do it before.

Maybe eventually Naomi could accept it, but not now, it was far too soon and unexpected. She needed time to adapt to having a father around; he'd have to prove himself first.

After attempting to clean herself up a bit, Naomi finally made her way downstairs. She was glad to find that her mum and Keith were still in bed even though the thought of it made her cringe, she didn't want to be fired with a thousand or more questions asking how she feels about the situation now.

She slipped into the kitchen and left her mum a brief note telling her that she had some stuff to do and that she would give her a call soon. Naomi felt bad for running after she hadn't seen her mum for so long but she'd have to understand that it wasn't the right time.

After leaving the note on the table, Naomi crept silently out of the front door and quickly made her way back towards Effy's.

A deep cerulean painted the sky; the sun hung innocently as it dispatched blazing rays of constant searing heat down onto the earth below it. Soft glimmers of sun light danced upon each green leaf that clung to the branches on the trees.

Everything looked so vivid and jubilant with the enhancement of colours, it's the reason why Naomi loved summer so much, the good weather always put people into good moods and everything looked so much prettier. But now the reason why she really loved summer was because she was able to see the colours properly and she was finally able to enjoy them.

As Naomi reached Effy's front door, she stopped to look at her surroundings and she realised how she had never appreciated how beautiful the outside world could look, it wasn't just because it was summer, it was because finally her life no longer consisted of black and white, she could see colours again and it was all down to the fact that she had faced her fears.

Karl, her psychiatrist, told her that. He was a good man, but Naomi never did truly believe him. Karl had tried so many times to get her to return home, at first the thoughts scared her but after a while it just seemed pointless. If it wasn't for Effy persuading her, she probably would have never returned.

Naomi went to see Karl a few days before she left, he supported her obviously, in fact he was really supportive of it. He said that he was proud that she had finally found the courage to go back, and making him proud made Naomi feel good, it was the least she could do after everything that he had helped her through. He had helped her through the depression, he helped her to release her anger without causing harm to herself or others and he listened to her through every state of mind, he acted as a friend and Naomi trusted him.

She smiled when she looked at the colours of her surroundings, Karl tried to help her to see them again but they were faint and dull, now they're more exquisite than she remembered.

Naomi finally entered the house and pulled out her phone as she made her way upstairs to the bedroom. Luckily Sally wasn't there, so she sat down on the double bed and clicked the dial button on the person that she was now so eager to talk to.

"Hello, this is Dr Karl Jones. How may I help?" The gentle voice said at the other end of the phone and Naomi instantly found herself grinning.

"Hey Karl, its Naomi Campbell." She only said her full name just in case he didn't recognise her voice.

"Oh hello, Naomi! How are you, how's Bristol?"

"I'm great, it's great…the colours are coming back." She sounded as excited as a little kid.

"Naomi, that's great! Tell me all about it." She could hear the pride in his voice and it made her grin even more.

"Well hasn't really been a smooth ride, I ran into my ex when I first got here."

"That's Emily, right? And how did that turn out for you?"

"It was weird at first; like I said it hasn't been smooth…everything took a really weird turn." Naomi frowned as she thought about her first day back in Bristol, seeing Emily and seeing him…she hadn't thought about it much, she tried desperately not to but Karl seemed to bring it all out, it was what she needed and he understood it all.

"Don't hold back, Naomi, tell me it all from the beginning."

"Well…We bumped into Emily and her sister, Katie. It was weird and all of the feelings came back but I couldn't make myself be angry at her. Effy told me to invite them out with us and so I did, they left after that and I spent the rest of the time after trying to calm Sally down, she was pretty angry at me for not being angry at Emily. Anyway, she calmed down after a while and we spent the rest of the time catching up with Effy, Freddie and Cook, it was nice."

"Were they happy to have you back?" Naomi smiled, Karl always made sure that he knew how everyone around her were feeling.

"Yes, of course they were, they were ecstatic."

"That's good, now what happened when you went out? What did you do?"

"We went down to a club to meet everyone. Thomas and Pandora are still together, so are JJ and Anna. They were really happy to see me too and once we were all there, we sat down and had a few drinks before we got up to play. We managed to get into a slot but we didn't tell Emily or Katie that I'm in a band, they were quite surprised." She chuckled and smiled back at the memory.

"Oh, I bet you guys rocked the place." They both laughed, Karl had been really supportive of her band, said it was good that she had a way of expressing her feelings and told her to stick with it and put as much effort into it as she could.

"Of course, we always do."

"Yeah but let's not get distracted, what happened after that?" Naomi swallowed nervously, this was the part that she wasn't looking forward to telling him about but she knew that she had to. Damn Karl for being so professional!

"Well, um… I went to get the drinks and…I saw him again."

"Who did you see?" Karl knew exactly who she was on about but he tried to get her to say it as often as she could so that it'd hopefully give her back some of her confidence.

"The man who raped me…" She whispered but she heard a chair squeak through the phone so she knew that Karl had heard and was probably moving so that he could listen more intently, it was a habit of his.

"And what happened?" He sounded so professional and serious.

"He recognised me and approached me and started talking to me. He's still a greasy fucking prick, he reckoned that we had sex and when I said that it was rape, he started laughing…" Naomi breathed heavily and clenched her teeth together as the whole thought of it made her feel sick.

"How did it all make you feel, seeing him and hearing him say those things?"

"Scared, absolutely terrified, I could barely move or speak. When he laughed, I…I felt so angry at him and at myself for being so afraid of him. I punched him and tried to run away but he grabbed me and knocked me to the floor and pinned me, it reminded me of what happened in the car, nobody was paying attention to what was going on and I thought it was going to happen again; it scared the fucking shit out of me." She took another deep breath and Karl waited patiently for her to continue.

"Katie had come to look for me; she heard me say that he raped me and went to warn the others. Cook got him off of me and dragged him away, Effy got me outside and I knew from the way that Katie was looking at me that she had overheard. Neither she nor Emily knew about it. Emily was begging me to tell her but I got distracted by the sound of Cook beating the shit out of him down the alley…"

"What happened, Naomi?"

"I went down there so I could talk to him, I started shouting at him and I just kept getting angrier and I knew I was losing control again, I then smelt the whisky and aftershave and I had flashbacks of that night and I just couldn't stop myself. All the anger that I've channelled since it happened just poured back into me and I completely lost control, I started screaming at him and kicked the shit out of him, I was so angry and I wanted him to finally feel it. Cook tried getting me off of him and I ran all the way back to Effy's house."

"You should have tried to handle that better, Naomi. You know it's bad for you to lose control like that, you could get yourself into serious trouble." Karl didn't sound mad, his voice was filled with concern and it made Naomi feel disappointed in her, Karl had done too much for her to just lose control so easily.

"I know, I'm sorry and I tried but I couldn't control myself around him."

"Don't apologise, Naomi. I can't imagine how it must've made you feel but just be careful. What happened after that?"

"Well Effy, Katie and Emily followed me back but I was still out of control, Emily tried to talk to me and I just snapped, I screamed at her and told her what happened to me and said some god awful things to her. She was absolutely devastated but she told me her reasons for breaking up with me…she was scared of me; she had no clue about what had happened and why I was changing. Apparently I wasn't myself, I'd snap too easily and she said she couldn't control me, she blamed it all on herself and thought that I'd be better off without her. The whole thing was a misunderstanding, neither of us had a clue about what was really going on and that's why we fell apart. But we're still in love and we're back together." She smiled stupidly at the thought of her beloved red head.

"Do you believe her?" Naomi frowned, the question had caught her by surprise but she still thought it over in her head and…

"Yes, I do. I hurt her as much as she hurt me, she was only trying to do what she thought was best." It was true and it was a reason why Naomi loved Emily so much, in any situation Emily would always put her concerns for any other person before her own. It was silly sometimes, but that's just Emily, completely innocent and benevolent.

"I'm glad to hear that, Naomi. So I guess you're planning on staying in Bristol?"

"Yes, so are Ryan, Sally, Mike and Sam. They want to stay with me so I think I'm gonna rebuild my life over here."

"I'm proud of you, Naomi. You've come a long way since I first saw you and I really hope it all works out the way you want it to." Naomi smiled sadly; she really was going to miss Karl.

"It's all thanks to you, Karl. I don't know where I'd be if it wasn't for you." He chuckled softly through the phone.

"It's been a pleasure. But Naomi, if the colours ever start to fade, I want you to know that you can always come to me to talk."

"I will, Karl. Seriously thank you, thank you for everything."

"You're welcome, take care of yourself."

They hung up and Naomi flopped back against the pillows and sighed happily. Karl was amazing and like she said, she really didn't know where she would be if she didn't have his help. She didn't appreciate him at first but he really had helped and he genuinely cared, he listened and he didn't judge. He was possibly the nicest person she had ever met.

She would keep him updated on her life not because he was her psychiatrist, but because he was a friend and it was comforting knowing that she could always turn to him if she needed to.

A soft knock at the door distracted Naomi from her thoughts; she looked up to see Emily standing in the doorway with a slight smile on her face.

"Shit, Emily! How long have you been there for?" Naomi jumped up from the bed and subconsciously brushed her fingers through her hair, she hadn't properly cleaned herself up after the night before and she now wished that she had.

"I just got here…who were you on the phone to?" Emily closed the door and wondered further into the room; Naomi reached out to her and kissed her forehead lightly as the smaller girl cuddled into her body.

"I was talking to Karl; he was my psychiatrist in Cornwall. I just wanted to tell him something and inform him that I'm staying here." Emily smiled up at her and reached up to press her lips lightly to Naomi's, only Naomi pulled away quickly after. She noticed the slightly hurt look flash across Emily's face so she pecked the end of her cute button nose lovingly.

"Sorry, I haven't had the chance to shower or anything. I feel dirty." Emily giggled and pulled away so that she could bound onto the bed and make herself comfortable. Naomi watched her and laughed at how easily she could make herself at home.

"Yeah, you smell. I'm not coming near you until you get a shower." Naomi scowled at her playfully. She leaned across the bed to give her a kiss before getting in the shower but Emily giggled and rolled away, she pinched her nose as if Naomi really did smell. She scowled at her again.

"I'll make you pay for that." Naomi said as she headed towards the door.

"I'd like to see ya try." She turned to see Emily sprawled out across the bed, wearing a cheeky grin on her face and Naomi couldn't help but smile back. Her insides fluttered adoringly as she gazed at the girl that she loved so much before darting quickly into the bathroom so that she could get the shower over and done with.

The shower didn't take her too long and she decided to make Emily pay by entering the bedroom wearing only a small towel that barely covered the middle of her body. She didn't dry herself of so her skin was still glistening from the water and her wet hair sprawled across her shoulders.

Naomi opened the door and found Emily lying in the exact same position, her head turned when she walked into the room after closing the door. Naomi watched with satisfaction as Emily's eyes grew wide and her body shot up into a sitting position, she watched as her eyes trailed slowly up her legs, her body and finally her face. Emily's mouth fell open ever so slightly and Naomi smirked, she moved her arm that supported the towel and let it fall to the floor.

"I said I'll make you pay." Naomi whispered seductively and she saw Emily swallow hard. She stepped closer towards the bed and allowed Emily to reach out and curl her hands around her naked hips, she was pulled closer but Naomi slipped out of Emily's grip when her lips almost connected with her stomach.

Naomi giggled mischievously and moved towards her drawers to get her clothes out but Emily took advantage of her back being turned, she wrapped her arms around Naomi's waist and pressed gentle kisses along her shoulder blade and stroked her hands across her stomach. Naomi shivered and leaned back into her embrace as Emily kissed towards her ear and then whispered.

"I'll definitely carry the baby if it means you get to keep this body."

* * *

**Sorry this chapter was really shit! I'm really not sure where to take it and writers block is doing my nut in! I'm really sorry but please let me know what you think anyway, next chapter will be more Naomily time :)**

**R&R please, really sorry if I disappoint with this chapter!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey guys thanks for all the reviews for the previous chapter, I was quite disappointed with it but you still all left lovely comments :) I hope I make up for it with this chapter.**

**Let me know what you think as I love hearing all of your opinions and it really helps :)**

**Enjoy! And I do not own skins.**

**

* * *

**

Chapter 17

"So…babies eh?" Emily teased as the two girls cuddled on the bed. Because of Naomi's little teasing session, Emily had slammed her into the nearest wall and fucked her senseless, after they cuddled up on the bed because Naomi didn't think she had the strength to stand. Well that's what she told Emily; really she just wanted to get her on the bed so that she could fuck Emily as hard as she had done to her against the wall. In the end it turned into a silly fight for dominance but neither of them were willing to give in, instead they ended up making passionate love to each other at the same time.

Thank god neither of them had a way of making each other pregnant or they'd end up being swamped by little Naomi's and Emily's in a few years time. Although the thought of it was quite cute, Naomi groaned at Emily for bringing the conversation back up. She really does say stupid things when she's drunk.

"Shut up, Keith planted ideas into my head about me having kids."

"He is aware that I'm a girl, right?" Naomi turned onto her side and propped her head up with her hand so that she could watch the red head lying next to her.

"Hmm…well I can see why he'd be mistaken; you do have quite broad shoulders Em." Naomi giggled as Emily slapped her repeatedly, she pushed herself up and straddled her, she grabbed both wrists and pinned Emily's arms above her head so that she couldn't slap her again. She lowered her head and kissed down Emily's neck and across her shoulder and then did the same to the other. Emily giggled as Naomi's still damp hair tickled her chest; Naomi finally released her grip on her wrists so Emily pulled her face back to hers and kissed her. Naomi smiled against her lips.

"I was joking; you're too tiny and beautiful to be a man." Emily blushed and a cute little grin spread across her face. Naomi loved it when she blushed, she always had. She loved watching the way her cheeks would almost become the same colour as her hair.

They kissed again and Naomi rolled off of Emily so that she could cuddle into her side.

"But why do I have to carry the baby?" Naomi groaned again and then giggled; Emily really wasn't going to let it go.

"Because you love my body as it is." She answered cheekily and looked up at Emily who was pouting slightly.

"Don't you love mine?" Naomi giggled again and slipped her hand up Emily's thigh until she reached her lower abdomen and drew little circles across it with the tip of her finger.

"Of course I love it; I just think that you'd make a better mum than I would."

"Well, we could adopt so both of our bodies stay the same."

"I know but I think I like the idea of you creating it." Naomi whispered, Emily shuffled down so that her face was level with Naomi's and kissed her affectionately.

"I love you." Emily whispered.

"I love you too." They smiled and gazed blissfully into each others eyes.

"But why are we talking about having kids?" Naomi asked and they both giggled. For now it was a joke but they both knew from the way they were looking at each other that one day it'd hopefully be more than that.

"By the way, you never did tell me how Caron handled the "break up."

"Oh, yeah she was really cool about it, I think she's finally ready to go out and find someone decent."

"I still can't believe she likes girls, didn't she audition to be a sex bomb?"

"Yeah she would have won it but Cook managed to fuck it up somehow. And I don't know if she does like girls or whether I was just a one off." Emily frowned at the thought.

"How did you two even meet?" Naomi asked curiously.

"Well I first met her during the first year of college when I went to Freddie's with JJ, that's when I found out Katie was sleeping with him." Emily cringed and Naomi laughed, she remembered a seventeen year old Emily telling her that she had walked in on Katie and Freddie in a compromising position and JJ accidentally let it slip that Emily was gay, which resulted in Katie questioning her about it and she had to lie. They were all so innocent and naïve back then.

"The second time was a few months back, we were both in the pub, she recognised me and we got talking and then obviously one thing led to another and…"

"If you're going to talk about your sex life, I'd rather not know." Naomi tried to sound serious but couldn't stop herself from cracking a smile.

"No! I was going to say that she was the only person other than Katie who I could talk to about us." Naomi propped her head up with her hand again and frowned.

"Why did you stop hanging out with everyone after you broke up with me?" Emily didn't reply straight away, she smiled sadly as she stroked her hand up and down the curve between Naomi's hip and breasts.

"Because of the way I had to break up with you. Like I told you, I thought you were only staying with me because you promised that you wouldn't run. I thought I was the problem so I had to act like I didn't want you anymore so that you wouldn't blame yourself. I knew you'd tell them and I knew they'd hate me. Seriously, I swear if looks could kill, Effy would have put me 6feet under a long time ago." Emily laughed sadly and Naomi took her hand and kissed each knuckle gently.

"I hated it, I really did." Emily whispered and looked away. Naomi could see the pain in her eyes; she could see that Emily was still blaming herself. Naomi pulled the smaller girl tightly into her body.

"You should have talked to me." Naomi whispered against the soft red hair.

"I tried Naoms, but it didn't work. All you wanted to do was get me in bed." Naomi laughed and she felt the mood lighten as Emily laughed along with her.

"Well that part hasn't changed; I still always want to get you in my bed." They continued to laugh and Emily smacked her a little too hard, the sharp contact on Naomi's bare skin caused her to yelp, more in surprise than from pain but Emily still apologised and kissed over Naomi's hip which was already slightly reddening.

The only problem with Emily kissing Naomi's body was the fact that Naomi gets turned on far too easily, the feel of Emily's lips and tongue on her skin was enough to make her gasp and make her stomach quiver. Emily knew well enough what effect she had on Naomi so she continued to go down on her and had Naomi moaning in gratification all over again. That was until they were disturbed by a knock at the door and the voice of a slightly annoyed but more amused Effy.

"Christ I know you guys have just got back together and all but can you stop getting it on in my house? "

"Shit," Naomi gasped from surprise at hearing Effy but also because of Emily's adroit tongue. Luckily Emily pulled back with a cheeky grin on her face so Naomi could quickly regain the use of her voice without moans and multiple swear words slipping from her mouth.

"Fuck Eff, I didn't know you were in." She tried to make her voice sound as steady as possible, it almost worked but her words were still shaky, Emily stifled a laugh.

"Well it is my house and Emily knew since I let her in." Naomi gaped at the girl sat in front of her who was still grinning as well as blushing.

"Fuck, shit, sorry Eff. We'll be down in a bit." Much to their dismay, Emily pouted slightly so Naomi pushed herself on top of her and started nibbling her neck.

"Cook's here, he wants to talk to you so you've got five minutes, and don't even think about having a quicky since we can hear the bed moving from downstairs." Naomi groaned into Emily's neck but didn't move until she heard Effy go back downstairs. She forced herself unwillingly up from the bed and swiftly slipped into her underwear, she pulled out some clothes like she had intended on doing before Emily jumped her. She pulled out a white tank top and grey tracksuit bottoms, she also pulled out a black pair and an old band t-shirt and tossed them towards Emily who had already put her underwear back on. After getting changed, Naomi turned back towards her girlfriend and fussed over how adorable she looked in clothes that were much too big for her.

They made their way downstairs, in the living room they found Cook talking to Ryan and Katie, who was sat on Ryan's lap again.

"Okay, seriously are you two together?" Naomi asked when she saw them; she crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows expectantly at them.

"We're not dating; we're just seeing where it goes." Ryan and Katie smiled adoringly at each other. Naomi felt the corners of her lips turn up into a smile.

"Why, got a problem with it Campbell?" Katie challenged and Naomi couldn't stop herself from grinning broadly at her.

"Hell no! But I'll say this now, Ryan you're seeing my girlfriends sister, you're brave haha. But if you hurt her I won't be the only person on your back. And Katie, Ryan's my best friend, if you hurt him, well Ems will probably stop me from kicking your ass but I'll set Sally on you instead and trust me, that girl is vicious," Naomi pointed to a fat scar on her arm. "And that was just from play fighting." Ryan laughed at the memory and Katie looked slightly alarmed but she nodded her head.

"I thought I was your best friend, Blondie." Naomi giggled and sat on Cook's lap to give him a hug.

"You are James, but you're all my best friends."

"Even me?" Katie smirked.

"Don't push your luck, Katiekins." They both laughed and it felt nice, they never got along as teenagers but now that they were adults, they pushed their hate aside and a friendship was building between them.

"Want a fag babe?" Cook held up a packet of cigarettes and nodded towards the patio doors, normally they'd smoke inside but Naomi knew he wanted to talk in private so she got up and pecked Emily on the lips and stepped out into the garden. The sun was still glaring in the sky and it felt so good to be out in it.

The garden was quite big but not too big and it was pretty basic, there were a few bushes that had been neatly trimmed to keep them tidy. A small selection of different flowers were blooming beautifully, the garden was mixed with different shades of green along with reds, yellows and purples. It was amazing to see that Effy could put so much of her effort into making something look so beautiful; the old Effy would have happily let it all over grow and turn to monotonous colours.

Towards the side of the garden was a cute bench, Naomi and Cook made their way towards it and sat on the overheated wood, they lit their cigarettes and Naomi sighed happily from the rush of nicotine.

"So what's up?" She asked Cook who was being awfully quiet for someone that wanted to talk. He blew out a long stream of smoke before answering.

"I've missed you babe, haven't seen much of ya." Naomi instantly felt bad, she had barely spent any of her time with Cook since being back in Bristol, and it had been a few months since they had last seen each other.

"I know, I'm sorry, how about we go out tonight, just the two of us?" Cook smiled and ruffled up her already scraggy hair.

"Sounds good babe." He wrapped his arm around Naomi's shoulder and she rested her head against his chest. They stayed like that for a while until Cook moved so he could remove his white shirt whilst complaining that it's too hot. He slumped back down onto the bench and stretched out his muscular body, Naomi snorted a laugh and he looked at her with a puzzled expression.

"If you think that's gonna turn me straight James, think again." She giggled as he continued to look at her in confusion before punching her playfully.

"Fuck off Blondie. Already got myself a bird, yeah?"

"Oh yeah, how did the date go?" Cook shifted slightly and fiddled with the material of his jeans.

"I proper like her but its weird, I think it's gonna be serious between us." Naomi's eyes widened, it was weird hearing something like that come out of Cook's mouth.

"How come?"

"Well…because…we haven't shagged yet." Naomi gaped, Cook not sleeping with a girl who was interested in him was a definite surprise. He may have changed in many ways over the years but he still enjoyed a shag whenever he could get one. This was definitely serious.

"Fucking hell, are you serious?"

"Yeah, Jess said she wanted to wait and I respect that, unlike her last boyfriend who was a fucking prick to her." Naomi wrapped her arms around her best friend and hugged him tightly. This girl had to be special to make Cook willing to go without sex for a while.

"I'm happy for you, you deserve a nice girl." They smiled at each other and he pulled her back into his side.

"Thanks Naomi. I'm glad you and Emily are back together."

"Me too, everything's so great at the moment…" Her sentence trailed of when she thought of the one thing that was putting a downfall on it all, her father.

"Are you sure?" He obviously noticed the uncertainty in her voice; she knew if anyone would understand her feelings for her dad, it'd be Cook.

"No, my mum is seeing my dad again."

"What the fuck, Jesus Naomi. Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Because I only found out yesterday and then I got completely fucked so I forgot."

"Jesus babe…How do you feel about it?"

"Christ you sound like Karl, and completely shit to be honest. I don't understand how mum can just forgive him so easily."

"Maybe the same way that you forgave Emily?" Naomi sighed and lit another cigarette; she needed it for the upcoming conversation.

"That's different, it was a misunderstanding, Emily was trying to do what she believed was best for me. He ran away because he was a coward."

"What happened when she saw him?"

"I didn't know it was him at first, I liked him until he told me who he was."

"What did you do?" Cook asked and watched her intently, his voice filled with nothing but concern.

"Freaked, I mean I've never seen or heard from him during the whole twenty years that I've been alive and then he's just suddenly here." She sighed again and sucked on her cigarette. Cook took her free hand in his and interlaced their fingers; he gave her hand a gentle but supporting squeeze.

"The problem is that we're so alike, he used to be in a band for fucks sake. He took me to the pub and explained everything over a few drinks but I just…I don't know if I can forgive him for it." Naomi flicked away the butt of her cigarette that she managed to smoke far too quickly.

"I know it's hard and it doesn't make up for what he done but at least he's trying Naomikins. I wish my fucking dad would have tried." Hearing the slight pain in Cook's words made the guilt instantly wash over her. Cook would do anything to have his dad try, yet here she was complaining about how her dad was here and trying. She realised how selfish she was being but she still found it hard to accept it all.

"Look, just take it slow yeah? Your mum's happy and at least your dad is trying. Obviously it is gonna take time and a lot of work to build anything between you but give him a chance. I'm never gonna see mine again and I hate that, so don't push away the chance to have yours." Naomi nodded sadly, Cook wasn't deliberately trying to make her feel guilty but she did anyway. She could try at least, not just for her sake but for her mum and for Cook.

The nod was a good enough answer for him and with that, he jumped up from the bench and offered his hand out to Naomi which she gratefully took and he pulled her up onto her feet and into a tight but comfortable hug.

"Fuckin' missed you Naomi." She smiled into his bare chest and squeezed him.

"I missed you too, I'm so glad I'm back." They pulled away and he ruffled up her hair again which earned him a slap.

They made their way out from the heat and into the cool living room. Effy had joined the room since they had been outside and was talking pleasantly with Emily but Naomi disturbed their conversation by jumping into her girlfriends lap and snuggled into her.

"Ugh, there's too much love in the air." Cook mumbled as he crashed into a chair, Naomi laughed at him.

"Shut up, like you can talk. I happen to know that there's a rather special lady in your life now." Naomi teased in a silly voice and Cook shot her a glare simply because his relationship with Jess suddenly became the hot topic of conversation. Effy and Emily cooed over how cute it was that he was willing to wait until they had sex. Ryan and Katie laughed hysterically at the idea of Cook going without any for a while.

The conversation soon turned from Cook and Jess to sex and then to ex partners.

"Oh fuck, Naomi do you remember that crazy bitch you got with?" Ryan chuckled as Naomi groaned; all eyes were on her so she knew she had to answer.

"Please, don't ever bring that up again." She grumbled and shook her head as Ryan continued to laugh.

"What happened?" Emily asked quietly, her eyes shone with sadness so Naomi cuddled her tightly. Neither of them liked to imagine each other with other people.

"Her name was Amy, she was supposed to just be a one night stand but she became obsessed with me. She somehow managed to get my number and wouldn't stop texting and calling me, she then invited herself round to our place. Anyway we dated for like a week, actually no she dated me, and I just went along with it to get her to shut the fuck up. She pretty much made herself a priority in my life and when I finally broke it off with her, she went mental at me and claimed that I was making the biggest mistake of my life; apparently I wouldn't get anyone better than her. Anyway, a month passed and I didn't text or call her once, had no intention to do so either but then she called me and begged me to take her back, I turned her down and she went crazy again. She was such a bitch."

Naomi and Ryan laughed whilst the others just smirked; it was one of them "you had to be there" times. Emily tightened her hold on Naomi's waist in a protective manner which Naomi found adorable; she wouldn't let Emily know that however.

"Ah man, she was so annoying. Naomi, what was that song you wanted to sing to her?"

"Oh! God that was…umm…" Naomi's brow furrowed whilst she tried to remember the lyrics.

"_I, I'm gonna miss watching you while you sleep, 'cause that was the only time I ever found some peace.__  
__I use to believe it was me who was insane, but now I__take it back 'cause compared to you I'm okay.__  
__And I, I forgive you__  
__I forgive you for the truth I liked you better__when you lied, and I forgive you being you.__  
'__Cause you were better when you faked every smile__  
__and now your knocking on my front door that's what__I've been living for, excuse me while I laugh my ass off.__  
__I forgive you for your ways now that I finally got away __from you."_

Naomi and Ryan fell about laughing when she stopped singing, she didn't really date after her and Emily broke up, the longest she handled was a month with some girl that she never really saw and wasn't interested in. She didn't see the point in trying to be with someone when her heart and love would always belong to Emily, and after Amy, she didn't dare risk having what was supposed to be a harmless one night stand again.

Naomi giggled even more when Emily secretly slipped her hand up the inside of her thigh and started kissing gently up her neck towards her ear.

"You're so sexy when you sing." Emily whispered, Naomi gasped when she moved her hand further up so that her fingers were pressed against Naomi's centre; it was enough to tease her even if her tracksuit bottoms were in the way.

Luckily nobody noticed except Effy who was smirking at the both of them, Naomi cleared her throat noisily and shifted her position so that Emily was no longer touching her intimately at an inappropriate time.

God that girl couldn't keep her hands to herself sometimes.

* * *

**I know this was a bit of a random place to leave it but it was really bugging me lol. More will happen in the next chapter I promise.**

**R&R please, let me know what you think guys; I hope it makes up for the last chapter :)**

**Oh by the way, the lyrics were from a song called I Forgive You by Every Avenue. Check them out :)**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey guys, I'm finally back! I do apologize for it taken me so long to update, all I can say is that life got in the way, but I'm back with the rest of this story planned and motivation to finish it. I started writing this chapter a few weeks ago but then my laptop decided to break on me, which meant I had to rewrite it. Although, I'm glad that I did as I much prefer this version to the first one. Anyway, enough of me rambling, I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I don't know how often updates will be since I have to use my sister's laptop, and can only use the internet when I'm at my mothers, but I will try as hard as I can to make them often.**

**Oh and also, I've changed this from third person to first person. I hope that's okay, it just makes it a lot easier for me to write.**

**I love you guys, so enjoy!**

**.x - x.**

Naomi's POV

It's funny how life can change in the blink of an eye. Even the simplest decisions can completely turn our lives around, sometimes for the best or for the worst. But time is the funniest thing of all, every second brings us closer to something whether we expect it or not. Every day, week, month and year can change our lives drastically, even if it's sometimes hard to notice the changes. Time works in mysterious ways, I remember someone once said to me that everything heals over time, and I thought he was ridiculous for believing such a thing. But now, I've realized that he wasn't ridiculous, in fact – he was rather fucking logical.

Time has brought me many things – joy, love, heart ache, pain, despair, anger, friendship, confusion and now love and joy again. I had been through a lot in the past three years, especially after the rape. But in a single day I had returned home, reunited with the love of my life and beat the crap out of the guy who had destroyed me in the first place. And after that, I had sorted things out with my mother and unexpectedly met my biological father, who I believed that I'd go the rest of my life without meeting.

It had all been a fucking emotional rollercoaster, and not only for me, but here I was, surrounded by the people I loved and with the love of my life back in my arms. Even after everything, I wouldn't have changed any of it, because the undeniable happiness that I felt in that moment was worth the suffering I had endured. It might sound crazy, but through the years I had learned to appreciate the little things, and to not regret the things that had brought me there.

But that wasn't to say that I didn't still think about what my life would have been like if none of it happened. The thoughts used to destroy me inside, until a light showed me a way of dealing with it, which illuminated the darkness in my mind. The light was like oxygen, and before I was suffocating in the darkness, only I didn't realize it. Once it appeared, I couldn't let it go because I knew I would die without it, and I wasn't being metaphorical. I knew now that if I hadn't pulled myself from the depression, I would have died. After contemplating suicide, I finally realized that something was terribly wrong but it was difficult trying to pull myself away from the familiarity of the loneliness inside my mind. If I looked back now, I couldn't help but shudder, because I knew I would have done it if something pushed me in the wrong direction, and it was why I had to feel proud of myself for getting away from such a terrifying place.

It was a dark time and only a little bit of light filtered through, but now I was covered in it. Everything and everyone around me were drenched in the glistening radiance, and it was nice to finally appreciate how beautiful it all looked.

"A penny for your thoughts?" My favorite husky melody cut through my thoughts, breaking me out of my day dream. I smiled down at the petite red head between my legs and politely shook my head. Emily raised a curious eyebrow at me, but I leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead before burying my face into her hair and releasing a content sigh.

This was our time now. We had both been through a lot, but we had barely been through any of it together. We dealt with our loneliness alone instead of confiding in each other. The mutual doubt of our relationship had stayed locked away in our own heads, even our break up was done alone on a quick decision, we might have been together in person, but we weren't together in our hearts or our minds. We had done everything alone even though it involved us both, and that was what caused us to fall apart.

But after everything, there was a large part of me that believed that maybe our break up was for the best, regardless of how ugly and horrible it was. If we had carried on as though nothing had changed and everything was fine, it would have caused problems for us in the future, which probably would have shattered and broke us for good. Some things are meant to happen, as silly as it might sound, I believed that everything happened for a reason. Maybe Emily and I needed to lose each other in order for us to find each other again.

The whole situation was a mind fuck really, but it was slowly falling back into place. There were still a lot of things that Emily and I needed to talk about, but that could at least wait as we remembered what it was like to be together again. I wanted to forget everything else, at least for a while. As I breathed in the tea tree scent of Emily's hair, I knew forgetting would be quite easy as long as I had her familiar warmth against me. I sighed again and smiled against my girlfriends' soft hair.

As comfortable as I was, I needed to get moving. Cook and I were going out to spend some proper time together. I had missed him crazy amounts, and I knew he missed me too, and as much as I would have loved to stay wrapped up in Emily, I had other people who I desperately needed to spend time with. I awkwardly moved my legs from around the red head and pushed myself onto my feet, earning a grumpy pout from Emily.

"Sorry babe, I have to get ready. " I told her sweetly and her pout turned into a smile. I bent down and captured her small lips with mine, my heart quivered at the feeling and the thoughts of being able to kiss her again, after I spent so long believing that I would never see her again, let alone kiss her. It was an unbelievably good feeling.

I gave Emily one last peck on the lips and quickly exited the room before I got distracted. I darted up the stairs, jumping two at a time and made my way into my bedroom. I began searching through my drawers to find something suitable to wear; we were only going to one of the clubs so I wanted to wear something casual that still looked good. I settled on a pair of my light blue skinny jeans, a white vest top that was covered in black, glittery patterns and a black cardigan to go over the top. I straightened the top layers of my hair and left the underneath, giving it a natural looking wave to it. I applied a small amount of foundation and eyeliner and accessorized with a few bracelets and a necklace. I checked myself over in the mirror after I was done and smirked, feeling happy with the way I looked. I slipped into my white pumps and grabbed my handbag before heading back downstairs.

I knew it wouldn't be long until Cook arrived, so instead of going back into the living room, I made my way into the kitchen where I found Effy staring aimlessly out of the window. I stopped and watched my best friend for a moment, suddenly I was overcome with memories of a younger Effy, back when I knew her in college and she used to be annoyingly mysterious. She had grown out of it as she got older, but watching her made me realize that there was still some mystery left in Elizabeth Stonem.

All of a sudden, I felt guilty. Everything that had happened in the past few days was thanks to Effy convincing me to come home, and I was yet to sit down and have one of our usual hearts to hearts with her simply because I had been too distracted by everything else. I needed to find out what was going on in her weird little mind, and I felt bad for not doing it sooner. I reached out and wrapped my arms around Effy's tiny frame, she flinched at the sudden contact but relaxed into me a second after. We stayed like that for a while, neither of us wanting to break the embrace as this single moment was still special to us.

"What're you doing tomorrow?" I asked quietly.

"Hmm, nothing. Why, what do you have planned for us?" She answered cheekily, I laughed at how she already knew what I was going to ask. Some things never changed.

"I was thinking we could go out and spend the day together." I told her straight up, rather than asking. That was one of the easiest parts of mine and Effy's friendship, we didn't pussy-foot around each other, and it made things a lot easier. It was the same with Cook.

"Sure, that sounds good." Effy agreed without hesitation, sounding genuinely happy that I asked. I smiled and squeezed her lightly; Effy turned her head and smiled back, her eyes travelling up and down my body at the same time.

"You look nice," She said simply, but I beamed, "And it's nice to see you happy again."

I was about to thank Effy before she spoke again, and her words threw me off track. I looked into her comforting blue eyes, the same ones that used to intimidate and freak me out. I loved Effy dearly, she really was like the sister I never had.

"Thank you" I whispered, but we both knew I wasn't just thanking her for the compliment; I was thanking her for everything. Effy knew me better than anyone, maybe even better than Cook, and I always underestimated how well she always knew what would be best for me. I wouldn't have been able to do half of the things I do if it wasn't for Effy.

"You're welcome. Cook should be here in a bit." Effy informed me as we left the kitchen and walked slowly back into the living room together. Cook had left not long after our talk, said that he needed to quickly see Jess about something before getting ready. Obviously I was fine with it; in fact I was quite excited about meeting the girl who had finally managed to tame James Cook. He had always been a man whore, especially in college but he had calmed down slightly after falling in love with Effy and having his heart broken. Once he felt that he was finally over it, he became more of a whore than before. Luckily, that meant he and Freddie were able to rebuild the friendship that they had nearly lost. Cook was even able to swallow his pride and kept a friendship with Effy, he finally accepted her and Freddie's relationship. I was extremely glad that Cook had finally found a girl who he seemed to want to settle down with. I was almost worried that he'd still be fucking around with girls even in twenty years time.

I was proud of him for finally growing up.

"Whoa, Campbell, are you wearing Diesel jeans?" Katie exclaimed as I came into view. I rolled my eyes, of course Katie would notice when I was wearing designer clothes, and it was so typical of her.

"Yes, Fitch, I do have a decent style now, remember?" I snapped playfully. I knew Katie was happy that my style had improved over the years, and I didn't blame her, my style as a teenager was bloody awful.

"I know, I know! I just didn't expect to see you wearing designer clothes. That's all." Katie defended herself quickly. Ryan – who was almost asleep in the chair – patted her knee comfortingly.

"I think they look nice, very nice." I heard Emily mumble, and I grinned as I turned towards her. Her eyes were slightly wide and she smiled innocently at me, but I knew from the look on her face that the thoughts which were going through her head were anything but innocent. Blood pervert, I swear she'd think about shagging me even if I was wearing a dirty bin bag. Nevertheless, it did make me feel good about myself.

"Are these the ones I helped you pay for?" Effy asked as she slipped her hands into the back pockets of my jeans and shamelessly squeezed my bum, causing me to giggle.

"Yep, I can't really afford to have more than one pair of Diesel jeans." I teased and Effy smirked at me. Ever since her parents had started providing her with a large amount of money, Effy never spent cheap on clothes, and had grown fond of designer clothes. Not that I could blame her, so once when she dragged me out shopping, she had insisted on paying over half of the price for my jeans as I liked them but wasn't keen on the idea of paying over two-hundred pounds for jeans. But Effy was possibly more stubborn than me, which resulted in me getting them.

"You're welcome." Effy chanted and rested her chin upon my shoulder. I laughed and shoved her lightly just as I heard the front door open, I already knew who it would be, and Cook walked in a few seconds later.

His face was cleanly shaven and his hair neatly spiked. He wore dark blue jeans, a fitted black t-shirt that emphasized his muscles and a white short-sleeved shirt, which completed the outfit. A few years had done wonders for Cook, he had always been a good looking guy but it was sometimes hard to notice it because of his cheeky, dirt bag attitude. His hair was now always clean, as were his clothes, he had grown a few inches and his body was bulkier than before. His clothes could now be classified as casual but smart, and it made him look more his age. Underneath, he was still the same Cook that we all knew and loved, only more mature.

"Alright ladies?" He greeted us cheerfully, looking between the four of us.

"I'm here as well." Ryan mumbled sleepily from behind Katie, obviously not appreciating being classified as a lady. Cook peered over at him and shrugged.

"I stand by what I said." All of us laughed apart from Ryan who grunted at Cook's statement. I reached out to hug Cook, who instantly wrapped his arm firmly around me.

"You ready to go?" He asked after releasing me from his grip. I nodded and leaned in to give Effy a quick kiss on the cheek before I turned to Emily, who was still lounging around in my clothes. I cupped her face between my hands and kissed her hard, catching her by surprise, but I pulled away quickly before it got too intense.

"Bitch." She whispered. I grinned and kissed her one last time before pulling away slightly.

"I'll come and see you tomorrow afternoon, okay?" I spoke softly as I stroked my fingers down her cheek. She nodded excitedly.

"You can come over to mine. I'll text you my address."

"Perfect." I pecked her lips again before saying goodbye to everyone else and we left almost straight away.

Even though we could both drive, we had decided to walk into town, mainly so we wouldn't have to worry about driving back if we ended up getting drunk, but it also gave us a bit more time to talk as we made our way into town. I was extremely looking forward to spending the night partying with Cook, just like old times.

"So, Cook, what are we actually doing tonight?" I inquired after a while as I wasn't entirely sure what the plan was.

"Well, Naomikins, I thought we'd go retro and start of at Uncle Keith's before moving on to the clubs." He grinned down at me and I happily returned it. Cook was trying to reenact our teenage memories from before I left to move to Cornwall. It was a common occurrence for us to start of at his Uncle Keith's pub, and then once we were a little merry, we'd move on to the bigger and better places. Some might see it as pointless, maybe even childish, but it was a perfect night out on my accord.

"That sounds awesome." I replied happily and linked my arm through his.

It was a usual nice afternoon for June. The sun was out but was slowly beginning to fall, which meant the temperature had dropped from unbearably hot to perfect, as it was still warm enough to not need a jacket. The sky was a gentle, pastel blue, and the texture appeared slightly hazy from the effects of the setting sun mixed with the slender slivers of clouds. The air was warm as I inhaled and exhaled it through my nose; it automatically filled me with happiness and seemed to relax my body. It was one of the things that I loved about summer; good weather always put me into a good mood.

It didn't take us long to get to Uncle Keith's pub since Cook distracted me by informing me about how the pub was now in better condition, compared to how it used to be. Cook used to help out whenever he had the time, and helped Keith become stricter with the pubs policy's, especially on hygiene. I was slightly in doubt, so I decided to hold Cook to his word.

Admittedly, it felt weird hearing someone else by the name of Keith, as it made me think of my father. It was still surreal to me, and I wanted to talk to Cook about it but I already knew what he thought of it. After twenty years of my life, I finally had a father who wanted to know me, and I had to allow that to sink in before I could act on it.

The outside of the pub didn't look much different to what it did three years ago, but I was surprised from the different smell that rushed out to meet me as cook held the door open, I wasn't gagging from the stench of stale piss and beer. Instead, it smelt like any other pub, one that was properly being looked after and cleaned regularly. I was impressed.

"Go and get a table, I'll order our drinks." Cook said quietly into my ear, his hand placed on my lower back stirred me further into the pub. I nodded and he retreated to the bar.

I looked around and realized that Cook hadn't been exaggerating; the inside of the pub did look a hell of a lot better. The floor didn't feel sticky beneath my feet, nor did I feel afraid to touch anything, unlike before. I made my way across the room, finding a small table in the corner where it would be easy for Cook and me to talk comfortably. I sat down on the chair and smiled as I thought of our memories in this place, Cook's awful seventeenth birthday party being the most amusing.

I sighed happily as I remembered that I'd now be able to create new memories here.

Cook reappeared not long after with two pints of beer, and I was amazed at how the glasses actually looked clean for once. He grinned as he placed the drinks on the table and dropped into his chair.

"Looks good, doesn't it?" He stated rather than asked. I watched him in amusement as he inspected the place with a smug look on his face.

"Definitely, it looks a lot better." I approved, which only increased his smug posture.

"Well I'm glad you like it babes, but unfortunately Keith isn't in today."

"Oh." I genuinely felt a little sad that I wouldn't be seeing Keith; we always had a laugh whenever Cook would drag me here, he was a bit creepy at first, but he was alright after a while.

"S'alright though, now that you're staying here we can come see him any time." He assured me and raised his glass to tap it against mine.

As we continued to talk, I failed to notice how quickly the time passed. We were both on our third pint, normally we would have had a lot more but we were drinking slowly, the conversation between us was flowing easily and it was nice to enjoy each others company without getting completely smashed…at least not straight away.

"So, how's Jess?" I queried. The question had been on the tip of my tongue for quite some time, only I kept biting it back. I wanted to know more about the girl who was making my best friend happy.

A small grin appeared on Cook's face, but he quickly tried to disguise it by coughing and take a large gulp of his drink. I continued to watch him, intrigued by the way his expressions changed quickly, and amused by how he tried to cover them up. His eyes flickered back to mine, causing him to finally crack.

"She's good; things are going well between us. She's amazing; I know you'll like her." He swooned adoringly, even though I knew he was trying his hardest not to. Cook still had a problem with showing his soft side; understandably it was because he was afraid of getting hurt again, especially after what happened with Effy. He was getting better with it, but old habits die hard. I was hoping Jess would help him overcome his fear, but none of us knew what would become of their relationship. I had my fingers crossed, I wanted them to last.

"I bet I will. So when do I get to meet her?" I asked eagerly, encouraging Cook to talk to me more about his new woman. It was a big deal to all of us, and he needed to know that he had people to turn to if he needed to talk about it. We were no longer teenagers, so we wouldn't laugh at him for showing affection towards a girl he wanted to be with.

"Hopefully soon, Effy and Freds were thinking about having a party at some point, so I'll ask her to come along."

"Yeah, that's a great idea." I agreed and smiled at my best friend, I would do what I could to make Jess feel welcome.

"How's Emily?" Cook shot back with an amused grin on his face. I smirked and flipped him off, as I had done many times in the past and it never got old. Love used to be a touchy subject for the both of us, but now it more like an inside joke to piss each other off. There was still some truth behind it, but not as much as before.

"She's great, we're great...it's crazy though, isn't it?" I smiled down into my drink as I thought about my beloved red head, and all the coincidental shit that had brought us back together. I downed the last of the liquid and brought my eyes back up to Cook's to find him watching me intently. I raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Are you sure it's a good idea?" He demanded his voice low and serious. I frowned hard, why was he asking me such a thing? He knew the answer to it, and earlier he had told me that he was happy about it. Why had that changed? Emily was everything I wanted and needed, there was no doubt about it.

"Of course I am sure, why wouldn't I be? I questioned warily, I could already tell that I wouldn't like where this conversation was heading.

"Naomi, seriously, I'm saying this as your best friend. I don't think it's a good idea to jump straight back into a relationship with her after everything that's happened, it's too soon. It might seem fine now but I'm sure there are plenty of things that neither of you know about each other, which might cause some serious problems. It seems stupid." Cook finished with a sigh. I gritted my teeth; I could already feel myself beginning to get seriously pissed off. He couldn't tell me that he was happy that Emily and I was back together one minute, and then the next tell me that he thought I was being stupid. He had no rights.

"James, you don't know anything about our relationship so just stay the fuck out of it, okay?" I snapped bitterly. I didn't want or need to be fucking lectured, I knew what I was doing. I didn't need to play it safe with Emily.

"Oh, so you're gonna trust the girl - who broke your heart and left you for nearly three years – rather than your best friend who stuck by you and helped you through it all?" Cook's voice wasn't raised, but it held a lot of anger and hurt. I instantly felt guilty.

"No, Cook, it's not like that!" I pleaded, hoping he'd believe me, but instead he scoffed.

"It's exactly like that." He mumbled sourly, his hand clasped around his pint glass as he threw the rest of it into his mouth, his knuckles turning white as the skin stretched over the bones.

"You're being irrational. I appreciate what you're saying but I love Emily, you know I do. I'm sick of having to be afraid of everything because of my past, and we've grown up a lot since then." I huffed in frustration.

"I'm not being fucking irrational, Naomi. I understand everything that you're saying but you're being naive. I wasn't saying that you should break up with Emily, I like the girl. I just want you to be careful, take it slow or whatever." Cook threw his hands up in defeat and slouched in his chair. The problem was, I understood where he was coming from, I just didn't feel the need to take precautions with Emily, and especially not when everything was going so well between us. So far, she hadn't given me any reasons to be wary, she was being rather fucking wonderful. I didn't want anything to change that, but I didn't want to fall out with Cook, and I didn't want him to constantly sit around worrying about me.

"Okay, I'll try to take things slow." It was all I could offer, even if I wasn't going to completely stick to my word. He was worried, I could respect that. He wanted me to be happy, so the least I could do was put his mind at rest by at least considering what he was saying. It seemed to work though, as a smile finally appeared on his face.

"That's all I'm asking for." He reasoned, and reached out and placed his hand over mine. I linked my fingers through his and squeezed gently.

"I'm sorry for snapping." I muttered an apology. I did feel bad, especially because I knew that Cook was only being a good friend and was looking out for me. So I wanted him to know that I was sorry, but didn't want to dwell on it.

"S'alright babe, I've forgotten it already." He winked. I felt relieved that he wasn't holding it against me, the last thing I wanted was to fight with Cook, not at any time and especially not tonight.

"We should probably get going now, before the clubs get too crowded." He squeezed my hand before pulling his back and standing up from his seat; I nodded and followed his actions. We said our goodbyes to a few of Cook's friends and exited the pub. It was nearly dark outside, but luckily it was still pleasantly warm. The streets were illuminated by the orange glare from the street lamps, which gave me, only a little bit of comfort. I still had a slight fear of walking around outside after it got dark, I'd do it, but there would always be something niggling in the back of my mind, so sometimes I tried to avoid doing it as much as possible.

The club was further into town, but the walk did not take long. Cook and I held short conversations on the way, but we became too distracted after Cook handed me a cigarette and also had one for him. It wasn't unpleasant, but nor was it a comfortable silence. There was too much going on in our minds, which meant we had to escape there for a while. I knew it would pass, I just hoped it would be sooner rather than later.

"Here we are." Cook announced as we rounded a corner, although it was pretty obvious from the crowded line of mostly young adults queuing up to get inside, and the blasting heavy beat of the music vibrating through the walls, which I could hear from a few blocks away.

Fortunately for us, we didn't have to wait outside, we pushed our way through the crowd as Cook made his way up to the bouncers. After whispering something into the burly guy's ear, we were granted access straight away, much to the annoyance of everyone still waiting outside.

The club was so crowded that it felt as though I had stepped straight into a sauna. I latched onto Cook's arm as we forced out way through the mass of people. We went straight for the bar, Cook ordered something but I didn't hear what, so I had to wait to find out. The bartender returned soon after and placed two Jaeger bombs in front of us, I grinned at Cook, he knew I loved them. I picked up the pot and poured it all into my mouth, I cringed at the taste of Jaeger, but the sweet taste of the energy drink soon soothed it and washed it pleasantly down my throat. The alcohol rushed straight to my head and my body felt warm, having the beers before had helped the alcohol to hit me quicker. I was glad; I forgot how good it felt.

"Another?" Cook bellowed over the music, I eagerly obliged.

After the second Jaeger bomb, Cook ordered us both a Sambuca bomb as well, and after that I left with a double vodka and red bull and made my way onto the dance floor. I knew I would regret mixing alcohol, but I was enjoying myself too much to care. The bass of the music vibrated through my chest, and the contagiously catchy beat made my hips sway as if it were an instinct. I swallowed a large amount of the drink and raised both of my arms up into the air, carelessly moving to the beat.

When the song changed to something that sounded relatively the same to the one before, I felt someone come up behind me and wrap their arms around my waist. I knew it was Cook, and our bodies moved together in synchronisation, but it was too casual to be classed as grinding. I leaned my head back to rest it upon his chest and I watched as the lights flashed across his face, making his skin glisten from the light sheen of sweat. He grinned down at me; I could tell from the look in his eyes that he was suitably drunk, as was I. He dug his hands into his jeans and pulled something out; he brought his hand up for me to see, revealing a small white pill between his fingers. I laughed out loud, some things never changed. I took the pill and popped it into my mouth; I washed it down with the last of my drink and eagerly anticipated the effects to kick in.

We continued to dance for what seemed like hours and my head began to spin from the lack of oxygen, but when the drugs finally kicked it, it didn't bother me half as much. The music seemed louder, to the point where it had taken complete control over my body, it was echoing through the mind and the bass was sure to shatter through my bones some time soon. The coloured lights were more bold and vivid than before, and it stole my concentration, I could even watch them clearly behind closed lids. I was fascinated by the feeling of my senses, they were the only part of my body that I knew I still had connection to. Everything stood out so much more than before, and I couldn't stop smiling. I probably looked slightly crazy, but as Cook and I began to jump around like idiots to dubstep, I now longer cared.

"Cook, I fucking love you!" I squealed as he stumbled and crashed into me, nearly causing us both to fall over.

"I love you too, Naomikins!" He pulled me into a bear hug from behind, lifting me off of my feet even though I screamed at him to put me down. We fell into each other, laughing until it hurt.

I felt like a teenager all over again, nights like this were common back then. In fact, they were more like a daily routine. I needed this, especially after everything that had happened, it felt good to take my mind of it.

We stumbled out and away from the dance floor, holding onto each other to make sure we didn't get lost in our intoxicated state. We found our way out into the smoking area; the cold air wrapped itself around my sweat covered body. It made me feel a damn lot better by finally relieving me from over heating.

I enthusiastically accepted a cigarette from Cook and lit up; the nicotine rushed through me and eased the light tension that surrounded my muscles. I suddenly felt tired and willing to crash wherever I landed, but I knew it would pass after a while. I slumped against Cook and sighed - I was happy.

Cook polished his fag of quickly, but I smoked mine slowly, savouring it. The night had turned out better than I expected, I didn't want it to end, but then I remembered that I had made the best decision by deciding to stay in Bristol, so technically, it wouldn't end and I'd still be here to do this with Cook whenever we pleased.

On impulse, I spun around and wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. I knew he was surprised from the way his muscles slightly tensed, but they relaxed and he hugged me back. He didn't ask why, he didn't need to. Cook always knew what I was thinking half the time, and my actions helped him.

I pulled away after a while, we both smiled at each other. I dropped the butt of my fag on the floor and turned to head back into the club, but stopped at the sound of someone loudly clearly their throat. I whirled around in shock, I was almost certain that Cook and I were the only ones out here, so when I saw a guy stood in the corner, I was quite surprised.

He looked our age, maybe a little older, I couldn't quite tell. He had short blonde hair with the sides shaved, which I couldn't help but think it made him look fucking ridiculous.

"You James Cook?" He asked in a gruff voice, and he sounded bored. I frowned, I couldn't stand arrogant people, and this guy gave me a bad feeling. I glanced up at Cook, he was also frowning but he didn't look as confused as I felt. Who the hell was this guy and what did he want?

**.x – x.**

**I apologise for any mistakes guys, but I didn't have the time to proof read it. I will start writing the next chapter up soon, so hopefully I'll be able to update again within a couple of days or so. Let me know what you thought of this, I love to hear what you have to say :)**


	20. Chapter 20

Thanks for the reviews, you lovely wonderful people! I'm glad that you were all happy that I finally updated. As I said, I'm not sure how often the updates will be, but I'm going to try and get them up as quickly as I can. So, I hope you enjoy them.

.x - x.

"_You James Cook?"_

"Who the fuck's asking?" Cook growled, there was something in his voice that told me he was not happy with this at all. He knew something about this guy that I didn't, and I had already guessed that it was something I would not like either. I was wary of this blonde guy, everything from his voice, his facial expressions and his posture told me not to trust him. He wasn't bad looking, but I could see that there was a rough side to him. It made me nervous.

"Does Jess know that you're out with this blonde tart?" The guy spat, his eyes darting to me, disgust visible. Anger shot through me, I opened my mouth, ready to tell him where to shove it, but Cook beat me to it.

"Get to fuck. You're fucking Dan, aren't you?" Cook's voice was calm but I could feel the anger radiating of his body. He was trying desperately to control his anger; it was the only way he could prevent himself from lashing out.

The guy smirked and slowly stepped towards us. I nervously stepped closer to Cook and reached out to place my hand on his arm. The action didn't go unnoticed.

"Huh, so she told you about me. Shame that she trusts a guy who's already cheating on her." Dan sneered, his eyes still flicking between me and Cook. Cook's muscled tensed beneath my hand.

"Fuck off. Unlike you, there's no way in hell I'd cheat on Jess." He snarled, his chest heaving from his quick breathing. Cook's words must have hit a nerve as Dan, who had remained unnaturally calm, finally showed some signs of annoyance. His jaw clenched and he balled his hands into fists, I watched him flex his muscles (which were nothing compared to Cook's). This twat was far too arrogant for his own good, and I found that my own muscles had tensed. If we didn't leave soon, something bad would certainly break out.

"You don't know her like I do." Was all that Dan had to say. I frowned in confusion again, but Cook laughed.

"No, mate, you don't know her at all. But you better stay the fuck away from her, understand?" There was no remorse in Cook's voice. His was low and hoarse, so I knew he was only seconds away from snapping. Anyone else would have felt intimidated, but Dan just smirked again.

"Oh, trust me, mate. As soon as Jess hears that you've been cheating, you'll be old news."

"I'm his best friend, I'm a fucking lesbian!" I blurted out angrily but I was still pissed from the "blonde tart" comment and the cheating accusations. If Cook didn't punch him, I certainly would.

Dan appeared slightly surprised but he tried to cover it up by frowning and wiping his hands on his top before slipping them into his jean pockets, he shuffled his feet, his head bowed as he watched the ground. He was losing the fight and he knew it.

"Oh, how convenient." Dan muttered sarcastically, trying to make out as though he didn't believe me. There would be no convincing him, even if he did know that I wasn't lying, guys like him had their head too far up their own ass, so he would never admit he was wrong. There was no point arguing with Dan, all it was doing was pissing us off. I squeezed Cook's arm.

"Come on, let's go. This is just a waste of time." I said loud enough for Dan to hear, but Cook didn't budge. His eyes were fixed on Dan, if looks could kill then both of them would drop dead in less than a second. I tugged on his arm, but it made no difference, Cook could be so fucking stubborn when he wanted to.

"Your other ball and chain is calling, better get running Cookie boy." Dan sniggered. I gritted my teeth, he was a fucking jackass.

Cook, however, didn't react so kindly to it. It happened within seconds; Cook tugged away from my grip and strode towards Dan, reaching him in two steps. The next thing I knew, Dan was on the floor, clutching his nose which was spurting blood and Cook was standing over him with his fist still raised in the air.

It took a moment for me to spring into action. I leapt forward and grabbed Cook's arm, screaming at him to not be stupid, he struggled against me but I held on tight. Dan had managed to shuffle away but was too busy complaining about his nose to get back on his feet. Pussy, any other guy would get up and fight, guys were ridiculous when their pride was at stake.

But then it hit me, what if Dan didn't care about his pride because his intentions were to make Cook snap? And what were his intentions now that he had succeeded?

"Cook, fucking snap out of it, we have to go!" I shouted, tugging him towards the door leading back into the club. His eyes were still fixed on Dan but I could feel his muscles relaxing.

He finally looked at me and obviously saw the pleading look written across my face, as he grabbed my hand and practically dragged me through the door. We sprinted through the club and barged our way through the crowd, shoving anyone who got in our way, and ignoring their pissed off complaints.

We didn't stop even when we got outside; we kept running until we could no longer hear the music. My lungs protested profusely, I stopped and clutched my chest, desperately gasping for air, Cook did the same. Being a smoker for over five years really did damage. We stopped for a few minutes to regain our composure, running after drinking was never a good idea, I felt like utter shit.

"You're a complete dickhead." I spluttered, still gasping. Cook looked up at me in surprise.

"What?" He choked, sounding confused.

I shook my head, "He was provoking you on purpose. He wanted you to hit him."

Cook paused and dropped his head towards the floor. I heard him sigh; he was obviously thinking it over and realized that I was right. His anger was the cause of so many problems, and it had fucked him once again. Cook stood up straight and released a deep breath into the dark sky. He turned to look at me with a serious expression across his face.

"I have to go and talk to Jess." He growled and stalked of in the same direction that we were originally headed. I stared at his retreating form for a few seconds before jogging to catch up.

"What are you going to say?" I asked anxiously, "Cook, you can't let that guy get to you."

"I'm not, but I have to tell Jess what really happened before he tries to feed her a load of bullshit."

I nodded in understanding and followed Cook to wherever Jess lived. The serious expression on his face did not falter; I had never seen him so determined before. I knew Jess meant a lot to Cook, and he'd do whatever he could to make sure that no one jeopardized what they had.

I was grateful for the warm air outside, the dark obsidian sky glowed from the silver shimmering moon that hung like a delicate orb, and the stars were like glitter scattered across the black veil of darkness. There wasn't much need for the streetlamps as the silvery stream of light from the moon illuminated the streets, almost so that it was as easy to see as it was in broad daylight. It made the night seem peaceful even though it had been frantic. It seemed as though we were incapable or going out and having a good time without some ridiculous form of drama occurring.

It didn't take us long. Soon enough, Cook sprinted over to the opposite side of the road and banged on the door of one of the small houses. I raced after him and waited patiently by his side.

_What a way to meet my best friends' girlfriend, _I mused.

After a couple of minutes, the inside suddenly lit up and I could hear the rattling of the door being unlocked. The door swung open to reveal a tall brunette wearing nothing but a long t-shirt, one that looked similar to what Cook would wear. I grinned, how cute.

The girl's eyes widened in surprise and she furrowed her brows as she looked between Cook and me.

"James, what are you doing here?" She asked softly, her voice was calm and sweet, it suited her appearance.

"Can we come in?" Cook asked but didn't wait for a reply as he passed Jess and made his way through her house.

Jess looked back at me and smiled, an unsure look came across her face. She really was quite pretty, but she was one of those girls who should be called beautiful instead of fit. Her dark brown hair reached down to her shoulder blades, but the underneath was curled down to the ends, which meant it would be even longer if it was straight. She was quite tall, maybe about five foot 7, and I could tell even in the big t-shirt that she was slim, especially because of her long, toned legs. She appeared friendly; she didn't seem ditzy and not in any way stuck up, which I liked. I smiled and held out my hand.

"I'm Naomi." I told her politely. Her smile widened and she grasped my hand eagerly.

"I'm Jess. James has told me so much about you."

"Likewise." We both chuckled.

"Please, come on in." Jess stood to the side and signaled me through. I accepted with a smile and stepped inside, heading through to where I saw Cook had gone.

Jess's house was pretty small, but cute. The long corridor from the front door led through into the living room, I had passed the stairs and a couple of closed doors, which I assumed was the kitchen and maybe a small cupboard. From what I had seen, the house was decorated with neutral colours. The carpet in the corridor, which was a soft cream, led up the stairs and through to the living room. The walls were also painted cream and the essential accessories such as cabinets and the bookcase were a light oak. The coffee table had a silver frame and a glass body, which sat between two beige sofas. The living room was fitted with a dimming light, which Cook had turned down quite low, giving the room a comforting glow.

I sat down next to Cook, who had made himself comfortable on the far end of the sofa. Jess came in after me and sat down on the sofa across from us. Her blue eyes darted between me and Cook; I could see all the questions written across her face.

"So, what's going on?" Was the first thing that Jess asked. Cook pushed himself up and sat on the edge of his seat. I could feel the tension coming of Cook, and the nerves coming of Jess. The poor girl probably had all sorts of things running through her mind.

"We bumped into Dan at the club." Cook spat his name in disgust.

Jess froze. Her eyes widened, her eyebrows nearly reaching her hairline. I could only slightly read the expressions on her face, shock was the obvious one, anger was another but she also looked scared. What did he do to her?

"What did he want?" She whispered.

"He wants to break us up; he's going to tell you that I was cheating on you with "some blonde tart" who happens to be Naomi. He thinks you'll believe him and break up with me." Cook's voice wavered towards the end. I turned my head to look at him and watched as he massaged his thumb across his knuckles. I knew a part of him was scared that Jess would believe Dan.

I looked back at Jess; she was looking away from us and kept swallowing, though it looked like she was having difficulty doing so. She was visibly upset, and I didn't blame her, there was nothing worse than an ex partner who only wanted to make your life a living hell.

"Why would he do that?" Jess mumbled with sadness in her voice.

"Because he doesn't want you to move on, he wants to ruin us because he thinks you'll go back to him." Cook put in plain words since there was no other way to describe it. Jess nodded her head; she was probably thinking the same.

"What did you say to him?"

"I told him to get stuffed, didn't I? I said that there was no way in hell I'd ever cheat on you and to back the fuck off."

"And I quite happily told him that I'm Cook's best friend, and a lesbian." I piped up, making both Cook and Jess laugh.

"Yeah, I don't think he expected that." Cook chuckled.

Jess smiled and got up from the sofa, she moved over to Cook and sat down on his lap, cuddling into his chest. Cook pressed a kiss to her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her waist. They looked so cute together, and Cook was right, I did like Jess.

"The only problem is; I punched Dan." Cook muttered. Jess gaped at him in disbelief and shook her head. She stroked her fingers across his knuckles before bringing his hand up to her mouth and kissing it.

"It's okay; he won't do anything about it."

"Oh, he would of if I didn't pull Cook off of him." I said to Jess, shooting Cook a grin at the same time.

"Piss off, he deserved it, yeah? I ain't having some little fruit talk to us like that." Cook defended himself but a smile played upon his lips.

"Yeah, he's needed a punch for a while now." Jess admitted. We both looked at her; it seemed that it would bring her down whenever Dan was mentioned. Cook had told me that he had treated her like crap, but I realized that there was clearly a lot more to it. I wasn't in any place to pry, but Jess was a nice girl and I already cared about her, so I would help make sure that no one tried to come in-between their relationship.

I decided to stay and talk for a while, and I found myself liking Jess more and more. She was easy to get a long with, she wasn't immature or stupid and she had a brilliant sense of humor. She took interest in whatever I had to say, and I did the same to her. I had learned that she was a dancer; she had been dancing ever since she was little and was on her way to becoming a professional dance teacher. Her parents were stinking rich and had paid for all of her lessons as a kid and helped her get to where she was, but unfortunately, she had never been close to them as they argued a lot and spent far too much time being involved with their work, which had obviously pushed Jess into throwing herself into something that she enjoyed doing. She was doing well for herself, she had been working since she was the age of sixteen and had saved up all of her money so that one day, she would not have to rely on her parents. She still worked even now, which was how she and Cook met as they worked at the same club; it was only temporary until she became a proper teacher.

If Cook was still the way he was as a teenager, I would have thought that he was only with her for the fact that she had money. But he wasn't that boy anymore, and I knew he adored Jess just from the way that he looked at her. I had never even seen him look at Effy that way, even when he was in love with her. There were a lot of things different about Jess, she had a lot of money but she wasn't a stuck up cow, she didn't take things for granted and she appreciated the little things in life. Her parents had pushed her away as a child because they were too interested in their work, so she wanted to keep all of the people that she cared about close, as well as enjoying her job. Jess had a special attitude, one that I really liked.

A couple of hours had passed, and it was approaching 3am. I was slowing beginning to lose concentration and I could feel myself wanting to slip into a deep slumber, but I had to get home first, especially since I promised Effy that we would spend the day together. I pushed myself up from slouching on the sofa and stretched my arms out in front of me.

"I'm gonna head home now guys." I groaned, my voice thick with tiredness. I stood up and picked my cardigan up from the side and slipped back into it. Cook and Jess stood up as well.

"Okay, I'll walk you home." Cook said, also stretching.

"No, that's okay, Cook. Stay here with Jess, it's late."

"Yeah, and that's exactly why I'm going to walk you back." I rolled my eyes.

"Cook, I'll be fine." Cook crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow at me.

"Naomi, I'm walking you home, end off." He settled with a stern tone. I sighed, I knew I wouldn't win, there were some things that Cook would never let me do after the incident three years ago, and so there was no point in arguing.

"I could give you both a lift, if you'd like?" Jess offered

"No babe that's okay. I won't be long." Cook wrapped his arm around Jess's waist and kissed the side of her head.

"Exactly, it's not far so I'd rather it." She explained, looking at Cook seriously, who sighed.

"Alright, fine. Let's go."

We waited for Jess to put on a pair of tracksuit bottoms and grab her coat before leaving her house, and after getting outside, I was rather glad that I didn't have to walk. My body had no energy and outside felt much colder after being in a warm house for a good couple of hours. We approached a silver Daewoo and I slid into the back after Jess unlocked it and pulled the seatbelt around me.

The drive took about five minutes, though it seemed a lot less since I nearly drifted of to sleep. I was glad to see Effy's house as we pulled into the driveway, I needed to curl up in bed and sleep for as many hours as I could. I said goodbye to Cook and Jess, and told her I was happy that I finally got to meet her, which put a smile on both of their faces. I waved them off as they pulled out of the drive before pulling my keys out of my handbag and unlocking the front door.

There were no other lights on in the house apart from one in the living room, which made it easier for me to see and make my way through without falling over anything. I shuffled through to the dining room, which was the room before the living room, and dropped my bag and keys onto the table along with my cardigan. I stifled a yawn and tip toed around; not wanting to make any noise that might wake everyone up.

I was about to head straight upstairs when I remembered that I needed to turn the living room light off, I assumed that Effy had left it on for me so the least I could do was turn it off. I crept into the room and fumbled around for the light switch, and then I noticed Effy curled up on the sofa, sound asleep. I stopped what I was doing and lowered myself down onto the seat, being careful not to wake the sleeping girl, she must have stayed up to make sure that I got home okay, and accidentally fallen asleep. I smiled down at her and gently brushed a strand of hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. Effy stirred beneath my fingertips and her eyes flicker open, revealing two tired blue orbs.

"Naomi?" She mumbled sleepily.

"Come on babe, you need to get to bed." I whispered softly whilst lightly stroking her hair.

"What time is it?" She asked as she pushed herself up into a sitting position. I turned my head to look at the clock.

"It's gone three."

"Bloody hell, I guess you had a good time then."

"Yeah, it was eventful." I chuckled.

"What do you mean?" I shook my head and wrapped my arm around Effy's shoulders.

"I'll tell you tomorrow, you need to go to bed." She nodded. I helped her up from the sofa and led her out of the living room, switching the light off as we left. I took her hand in my mine and we crept up the stairs in the dark, I kept my arm outstretched in front of me to make sure I didn't smack into any of the walls. When we reached the top, I said goodnight to Effy and gently kissed her cheek, she smiled sleepily and quietly snuck into her bedroom. I made my way into mine, which was opposite Effy's, and turned the light on. Sally wasn't in the room, she must have stayed with Sam again as he got nervous in a new environment, regardless of the fact that he was surrounded by his friends. I was glad anyway, as Sally was a light sleeper so no doubt I would have woken her up, and she wasn't pleasant if she was woken up during the middle of the night, I was the same but Sally would probably make me stay awake until she was able to fall back asleep.

I lazily stripped down to my underwear, carelessly throwing each item of clothing to the floor and leaving them there. A few things about me hadn't changed from when I was a teenager, I was still unorganized and messy, I wasn't anywhere near as bad as I was back then, I would now at least clean up before a room got too messy. After living with two boys who were incredibly lazy, I had learned to clean up a little after myself; otherwise I would end up losing half of my stuff underneath their crap.

I turned out the light and practically jumped on my bed, pulling the duvet tightly around me and snuggling into the cushions. Exhaustion hit me full force like a train, and after lying still for quite a while with a peaceful mind, only thinking of how happy I suddenly felt, I was able to drift off into a peaceful sleep with a smile on my face.

.x – x.

Here ya go lovelies, another chapter for you. I'm sticking to my promise, and I am determined to finish this story. I would love to know what you all thought of this, so drop me a review :)


	21. Chapter 21

Two chapters at once? Man, I must really love you guys, which I do…and because I'm not able to update for a while, which I will explain at the end of this chapter. Sorry :( lots of loves to you all, I hope you like this.

.X – X.

I woke up in the morning without a hangover, but instead I had a bitchin' headache which automatically put me in an irritable mood. I rolled over and buried my head into the pillow, blocking out the intruding sunlight from the windows since I had forgotten to close the curtains last night. I could hear frequent movements coming from downstairs, everyone else must already be up. I groaned and rolled onto my back, there was no way I'd be able to get back to sleep. I led staring at the ceiling for quite a while, trying to decide whether or not I could be bothered to get out of bed, which I couldn't but I knew I had to eventually. I was tired and comfortable, but life was cruel and wouldn't allow me to go back to sleep for at least an hour or two.

I forced myself out of bed and grabbed some clothes from my drawers before heading into the bathroom for a steaming hot shower. I was still exhausted and I didn't have any idea what the time was so I could only hope that it wasn't as early as it felt, I never did well on only a few hours sleep. I dropped my clothes onto the floor and removed my underwear; I leaned into the shower cubicle and twisted the tap as far as it would go, I needed it to be hot. As the steam started to fill the room, I finally stepped into the cubicle, gasping as the scolding hot water hit my skin. I was sure that if it was any hotter it would make my skin blister, it was slightly uncomfortable, but it distracted me from my throbbing headache which I was hoping would clear after a while. I rolled my head back and let the water pour down my neck, I sighed as my muscles started to relax.

I didn't stay in the shower for long due to lack of energy, so I quickly washed my hair and my body and switched the water off. I towel dried my hair and pulled it back into a scruffy ponytail, I slipped into my sexy black underwear (which I knew Emily would appreciate later) and my black slim fitted jeans and a white Bullet for My Valentine band top. I wasn't really in the mood for making an effort, so casual clothes had to do, and at least my casual clothes were still stylish.

After removing myself from the bathroom, I trudged my way downstairs where I found Sally and Sam eating breakfast at the dining table, they both looked up and smiled at me, but Sally's face cracked into a grin which she was trying to contain.

"You look lovely." Sally giggled. I flipped her off and dropped into the chair beside her, resting my head on the table with a groan.

"Hangover?" She asked. I shook my head and sighed.

"No, I just feel like crap." I grumbled. She patted my shoulder sympathetically.

"You should get something to eat; it'll make you feel better." Sam told me as he spooned some cereal into his mouth and flashed me a cheeky smile.

"Nah, I need a cigarette and a coffee." I said and reached out to grab my handbag which contained my delicious cure.

Both Sally and Sam sighed but I ignored them, they didn't approve of my weird eating patterns like not eating in the morning and replacing food with cigarettes and coffee, it was one teenage habit that I definitely couldn't grow out of. I pulled out a packet of cigarettes and my phone, I checked to see if I had any messages as I hadn't checked them since the day before, and I had three, one from Effy and two from Emily. I checked them quickly; the one from Effy asked when I was going to be home, sent at 1:37 am. The first text from Emily said that she hoped I had a good night with Cook, and the other contained her address and asked when I was going to come over. I smiled and quickly typed a reply saying that I was going out with Effy and I would be over later in the afternoon, and I looked forward to seeing her. Once the text sent, I placed my phone on the table and pulled a cigarette out of the packet; I grabbed my lighter and headed outside.

It was a nice day again, a little less hot than the day before and for that, I was glad. The grass was soft beneath my feet as I made my way across the lawn; I sat down on the small bench and lit the stick between my lips, inhaling deeply. The rush of nicotine was luscious as always, I smiled as I exhaled the smoke from my lungs. It cured my irritable mood and soothed my niggling headache which was making my mood worse, so luckily I was well on my way to being in a good mood for the rest of the day. I wanted to enjoy my day out with Effy, and my first proper night in with Emily which I knew was going to be amazing, so no bad mood was going to ruin that for me.

Not long after, I looked up to the sound of the patio doors opening and I saw Effy coming towards me, holding what I hoped was a cup of coffee. She smirked; of course she knew what I was thinking. She handed me the cup and sat down beside me, pulling her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them.

"Want one?" I offered her the packet. Effy cringed and shook her head, I frowned, that was odd, Effy smoked more than me, and that was saying a lot.

"Are you alright?" I asked curiously. Effy turned and smiled, nodding her head. I could tell that she was distracted from the look in her eyes, I wasn't convinced but I decided to let it go.

"So when do you want to go out?" If something was wrong, I hoped that going out would make Effy tell me, or at least cheer her up. If I was doing what I could to make myself feel better, I could at least do the same for her.

"You sure you're up to it?"

"Of course I am, now go on, and get dressed." I patted her knee encouragingly.

She smirked and hopped up from the bench, offering her hand to pull me up. I flicked the butt of my fag and accepted her hand, grabbing my cup of delicious caffeine when I got back on my feet. I followed Effy back inside, still holding her hand and crashed down onto the sofa whilst she headed upstairs to get changed. I watched as she and Freddie passed each other at the entrance of the living room, Freddie smiled and tried to wrap his arm around her waist but Effy quickly shot past him and fled upstairs. Freddie sighed and flopped down into the chair; he raked his hands through his scraggy hair and pressed his palms against his forehead.

I frowned again, Freddie looked exhausted and quite upset, obviously whatever was going on was really upsetting him, and I could understand why. Effy had a lot of explaining to do, as something weird was definitely going on and I needed to find out what before it all got out of hand.

.x – x.

"So when are you going to tell me what's going on?" I questioned Effy when we finally stopped for a break, having been shopping for a couple of hours.

"Naomi, nothing is going on. Everything's fucking fine." Effy snapped, taking me by surprise. She sighed and dropped her head into her hands.

"I'm sorry; I'm just not feeling too well." She mumbled. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her against me.

"It's okay. Just promise that you'll tell me if something's wrong." She nodded against my shoulder and cuddled into me, there was no way I could be mad at her for lashing out when I knew there was something bugging her, and I wanted to help. For now, all I could do was try and take her mind of it.

"What else do you want to do?" I asked after a while.

"I suppose we could look around some more." She replied as she pulled away. I nodded and picked up my bags, Effy quickly followed.

We continued to walk around town for a while, looking through shop windows and occasionally inside. I was enjoying being out with Effy, just the two of us. We might not be the kind of girls who wanted to have girly sleepovers every weekend to catch up on our relationships, but we did enjoy doing things together that didn't involve getting stoned or drunk, we had stopped with that frequent habit a year or so ago, not that we didn't mind doing it occasionally. Effy's main hobby now was to drag me out shopping, which I was slowly growing fonder of. After only being able to hang out on the occasional weekend for 3 years, we had to make the most of the time we spent together, not that it'd be a problem now that I was back for good. I couldn't help but smile every time I thought about it, and seeing Emily later helped with it.

"What are you smiling about?" Effy asked, looking at me with her usual smirk. I grinned and shook my head.

"Nothing, do you mind if I go and see Emily tonight?" I had to ask just incase Effy wanted us to spend the night together, not that I'd mind if she wanted to, she needed me and as much as I wanted to see Emily, I was going to be there for my best friend if she needed me to be.

"Nah, it's okay. I think I better make it up to Freddie for acting weird."

"Ew, Eff, that's gross!" I cringed, causing Effy to burst out laughing.

"No, not like that!" Effy bumped her shoulder against mine as we both laughed.

We continued walking around for a while, only looking through certain shops but never actually buying anything since we already had plenty. We decided to take a short walk out of town to a field that we could stop and relax in. I dropped my bags next to a tree and sat down against the trunk in the shade, the hot temperature became unbearable after constantly walking around in it. Effy sat down next to me and I offered her another cigarette, which she refused again.

"Are you sure you're alright, Eff? You never used to turn down a fag." I wondered. I was concerned about her especially because of her weird behavior, if she was still seventeen years old then I would understand, but that Effy had changed. She didn't answer straight away, instead she shrugged.

"I just haven't felt the need for one recently." She answered in a low voice. She stared down at the ground and ran her fingers through the grass.

"Jeez Eff, if I didn't know you any better I'd say you were turning into a good girl." I teased. She grinned and shoved me playfully.

"No chance." She giggled. Her smile then faded and she sighed.

"I don't know, Naoms. I've been feeling quite down recently, and I don't know why." She confessed sadly. She looked so vulnerable; I hadn't seen her like that in a long time. I reached out and slipped my hand into hers and interlocked our fingers, squeezing hers gently.

"How long for?" I asked.

"I don't know" she shrugged, "maybe a week or two."

"Hmm." I sat and wondered what it could be. I had noticed that she was acting a little off, but that was only a few days ago, she seemed fine before.

"It's weird but I'm sure it'll pass soon. I mean, I'm not unhappy about anything." She said hopefully, but it sort of seemed like she was trying to convince herself. I wasn't so sure either.

"Yeah, it should do. But once you've figured it out, tell me okay?"

"I will." She smiled and squeezed my hand.

"Do you think Cook will still bring Jess to the party after what happened?" Effy queried.

I had told Effy everything that happened last night with Cook and Dan, and that I had finally met Jess who was as lovely as Cook said she was. I could only explain little about the argument as I wasn't entirely sure what had happened between Dan and Jess, I knew he had cheated on her, and I guessed that he was just a shit boyfriend. Effy and Cook were good friends so she cared about who he dated because she didn't want him to get screwed over, especially since she had done a lot of that to him herself.

Effy and Freddie always threw a party in the summer for everyone to catch up and get drunk, it was going to be the first one I had attended as I had refused to go to any of the others, much to my friend's disappointment. So it was going to be better for all of us.

"I don't see why he wouldn't; he really wants everyone to meet her." I replied.

"Yeah I suppose so. What do you think they're gonna do about Dan?"

"I don't know. I'm hoping he'll take Cook's advice and back off." I pondered, thinking of how little Dan seemed to be bothered about being threatened by Cook, I just hoped he wasn't going to try and totally screw with them.

"Hopefully, I can't believe Cook punched him." Effy chuckled in a serious way.

"I know he's an idiot sometimes."

We both shook our heads. I couldn't blame Cook for doing it though, Dan deserved a punch and to be kicked in the nads. I had to admit, I was worried about what was going to happen, Jess was scared of Dan, Cook wanted to kill him and Dan wanted nothing more than to ruin their relationship. I just hoped he'd grow up and would get over the fact that Jess no longer wanted him, and she definitely wouldn't want him if he ruined her relationship with someone that actually made her happy. People worked in fucked up ways though, so I would have to keep an eye on Cook and make sure that he didn't do anything stupid.

"Don't worry; we'll all look out for him." Effy assured me. I grinned, hello teenage Stonem.

We stayed on the field for a while after, just talking and relaxing in the pleasant shade that still held some heat. I led back against the tree, using one of my bags as a pillow and Effy led against me. I cuddled my best friend in delight of having her beside me and she laughed, saying that I was turning into a soppy git, which I huffed at playfully. Effy also asked whether I wanted to play some songs at the party, it would have to be acoustic and she wanted to see me play since she had only ever seen me sing. I eagerly agreed to do it, and I knew Sally and Ryan would happily help out as well. It gave me such a thrill knowing that my friends enjoyed listening to us play just as much as we enjoyed doing it, it was a huge part of my life and I loved being able to share it with them. I thought about asking Effy if I could invite my Mum and Keith, but then I remembered that Effy didn't even know about my dad, and I wasn't sure if I was ready for it, I'd have to think about it closer to the time.

"Do you want to get heading back?" Effy asked after a few minutes of silence. I sat up and flicked my fringe out of my face.

"Sure, if you want to." Effy nodded and we both stood up, picking up our bags and made our way back towards town.

It took us longer than usual as we walked slowly, taking our time and enjoying the conversations we were having. We stopped outside of one of the corner shops so that I could pick up some cigarettes and a bottle of wine before heading to Emily's to save me from doing it later on. As I exited the shop, I picked up my bags that I left outside with Effy.

"You!" The sound of a familiar gruff voice shouting at me stopped me dead in my tracks. I whirled around and my eyes widened in horror. My heart slammed against my ribcage, I didn't know whether to run or attack, unfortunately I was too shocked to do anything.

"Ian?"

…

.x – x.

Sorry for the cliffhanger, I thought I'd be mean and leave you guys waiting haha. I feel kind of bad though as I won't be able to update for quite a while, as I was using the internet at my mum's, but I had a fight with my step dad so I kinda can't go there again, oops ha. But I will try to get it up as soon as possible, luckily I'm writing the chapters up quite fast so I should be able to update a few chapters next time. I'm sorry this chapter is quite short, it was going to be longer but I decided to cut it in half, I don't really like this part but I hope you guys do. Drop a review if ya have the time, I'd really appreciate it :)


	22. Chapter 22

I'm so sorry for the wait guys, unfortunately I'm not back for good, I've just been able to get on the internet. Thanks again for all the reviews/story alerts/favorite story and author; it really means a lot to me. As you are all asking about Effy, I'm gonna tell you that it's not going to be revealed for a while yet, but keep guessing! There isn't any Naomily in this chapter, but I promise Emily will be in the next one and then there will be a lot more of her. Also, I apologize for any mistakes but the screen on my sister's laptop cracked so half of the screen is covered in white lines which make it hard to see. If you have any questions just leave me a review or send me a message, I will reply as soon as I am able to. I hope this was worth the wait.

.x – x.

"_You!"_

"_Ian?"_

I stared in horror at the man who partially helped ruin my life, I didn't know what to do, it felt as though time had stopped and I was reacting in slow motion. His cold glare pierced through me and held me to the spot, I was speechless, I wasn't scared but I was still shocked by his sudden appearance, especially in the state he was in. He looked worse than what I remembered, he had almost lost all of his hair and the little that remained had turned gray, he had many more wrinkles and he had lost a lot of weight, making him appear gaunt. His eyes were bloodshot and hollow, he looked like he hadn't slept or shaved in weeks and his clothes were creased and dirty. Suddenly, I snapped out of my shocked state and frowned at the man who was gritting his teeth and killing me with his eyes, I bit back the laugh that had risen into my throat. Effy was gripping my arm and I could feel her looking at me in concern, I turned my head and grinned at her.

"You…you little cow, you ruined me. You…it's your fault." Ian stuttered angrily and took a step towards me. I didn't flinch or take a step back; I stood my ground and kept eye contact, a smirk played upon my lips.

"Nice to see you too, Ian. How have you been?" I ask politely with sarcasm dripping of every word. Effy tugged my arm again in attempt to get my attention but I was too busy enjoying how easily I could make Ian tick.

"How…what, it's…this is all your fault. You made your dozy mother break up with me." He snarled. My smirk faltered slightly, Gina was a dozy cow but I was the only one allowed to say that, and I didn't appreciate being accused of the reason for their break up.

"It wasn't my fault; you did a pretty good job of driving her away by yourself." I growled irritably. Ian clenched his jaw and his fists, his dirty eyes continued to glare at me.

"If you weren't a fucking nutcase, none of this would have happened." He scowled, he knew well enough that his words would hit me, and unfortunately they hit hard. Being called a nutcase was one of the few things I hated being called; it was nasty and uncalled for. I released a deep breath, Effy squeezed my arm so I decided to look at her, she had a look on her face that screamed "Don't let him get to you and don't do anything stupid." I nodded and turned back towards Ian, ready to fight.

"Trust me; Mum would have dumped you regardless of me, Ian, considering what a pathetic excuse for a man you are." I sneered, my voice filled with venom. I looked him up and down in disgust; it was pathetic seeing him in such a state just because Mum dumped him, they hadn't been dating long and it ended over two years ago. My body was trembling with anger and hatred towards the prick standing in front of me, it was a natural instinct to hit back if someone upset me, but with Ian it was also for pleasure. I had put up with his shit for so long as a teenager, so I was making up for the countless times I bit my tongue.

Ian scoffed, "you're just like your mother, pretty on the outside but a witty bitch on the inside."

"That's us Campbell's for ya." I laughed; it was the only thing he was right about.

"It's not something to be proud of, not when you push everyone away. It won't be long until she breaks up with that blonde ponce she's with."

I nearly shouted at him to not speak about my father like that, but I bit my tongue only because Effy was next to me, and I surprised myself at how quick I was ready to defend Keith. One thing I wouldn't stand for was someone bad mouthing my family; it never went down well with me.

"My mother can date whoever she likes, that doesn't mean she's going to break up with him. And you really need to stop stalking her; it's more than a little creepy." I informed him nastily. He glared harder at me to the point where his eyes were like slits, if we were in a cartoon he would have steam shooting out of his ears and his face would be beetroot red, unfortunately life wasn't that entertaining. Instead, I had some aggy old bold guy who was probably thinking of multiple ways to murder me.

"Piss off, Naomi. You know, whatever happened to you that turned you into a psycho bitch, you probably deserved it. But then again, with Gina being a whore who sleeps with pretty much anyone, it was probably passed down from father to illegitimate child, especially as he's more than likely dead or in prison." Ian spat, smirking when he saw that he had caught me by surprise. I was taken aback by his harsh words and was left speechless again.

His words were like a sharp knife that slashed straight through old wounds, except the blade was left jammed inside me and was occasionally wiggled to make my blood slowly and painfully leak out. I gritted my teeth and swallowed hard, I couldn't tell whether I was more upset or angry, sadly his words had hit a sore nerve, and I hated it. It seemed that no matter how hard I tried to forgive Keith, it was always thrown back in my face how he betrayed us. I was sick of it being a weak spot that anyone could use to their advantage. I swallowed back the lump that had risen into my throat, I wasn't going to let Ian get to me, and I wouldn't let him win. I shrugged off Effy's arm that she wrapped around my shoulder and stepped forward, bringing my face about an inch from Ian's, I could feel his horrible breath on my face but I ignored it. His eyes threatened me but I made no move to lash out at him, it's what he wanted and I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

"You don't know anything about me or my family, so you need to get your facts and your head straight before you come out with this shit, and if you even try to interfere with us again, I will make your life a living hell, believe me." I snarled in a low, hostile tone. I narrowed my eyes at him one last time before spinning on my heel and strode away from him, grabbing Effy's arm on the way past and pulled her along with me.

I walked faster than I ever had before just to get away from Ian, but no matter how far I was, I still wanted to be even further away. I was furious at him and at myself for letting his words affect me, I just couldn't understand how sick he could be to say that I deserved what happened to me, sure he didn't even know what happened but it was unnecessary to say such a thing. And the accusations about my father were ridiculous; he wasn't the reason why I turned "psycho" because from what I saw, he was just an ordinary guy. But that's when the niggling voice in the back of my head decided to make an appearance.

I didn't know Keith, I didn't know a single thing about him so for all I knew, he could be the reason. Maybe he had some type of mental illness that he hadn't told us about and maybe he had passed it onto me.

Fucks sake, I thought to myself. I knew I was being ridiculous, and it was the last thing I needed to think about, even if it did prove that I didn't know my own father, I wasn't even given the chance as he just ran away. I sighed in frustration and raked my fingers through my hair, I could feel another oncoming headache.

"Are you okay?" Effy asked quietly, we were almost home and we had walked the whole way in silence. I knew she wanted to ask before we got back and anyone else noticed.

"Yeah, I suppose so. I just fucking hate that guy." I admitted dully, Effy smiled sympathetically.

"He is a prick" Effy agreed, "and all that stuff he said was a load of crap, I'm sure your dad isn't dead or in prison."

"I know he's not." I mumbled, I had to tell her.

"What do you mean?"

I stopped and grabbed Effy's arm, making her turn around and face me. She was frowning and she looked confused, which was obvious. I sighed again, there was no going back.

"Just promise you won't get mad, okay?" Effy nodded.

"I met my dad; he and my mum are back together." I spat out quickly, I'd be surprised if Effy even understood a word of it, but I knew she did because her eyes suddenly widened.

"What, since when? How do you know?" She exclaimed in surprise.

"Since I went out with Mum the other day, she brought him to dinner and they told me. I thought he was just some random guy she was dating." I explained, watching Effy's expressions nervously, I was really hoping that she wouldn't get upset that I didn't tell her straight away. Luckily she just frowned and nodded.

"What's he like?" She asked curiously.

"I got on well with him until I found out the truth." I admitted sadly.

"No, I mean, what's he like? Are you anything like him?"

"Unfortunately I look like him, we have the same eyes, same hair, and he was even in a band when he was younger." I sighed; there were a lot of similarities between me and Keith. There was no way that I could deny he was my father, it just felt right, and the connection was instantly there. "I remember enjoying his presence and when he told me a little about himself, I wanted to know more. I found myself admiring him and I wanted to get to know him better, but as soon as they told me the truth, I felt betrayed again." Effy's eyes held compassion and she smiled slightly.

"So why didn't you tell me?" She asked calmly. I shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't know I was too shocked I guess. I still don't even know what to think of it." I muttered softly. I was beginning to come round to the idea of knowing my father, but after everything that Ian said, I doubted how I felt about it again, the only thing I knew was that I was now angrier than before. "I'm sorry, Eff."

"It's okay Naomi; I knew it's a touchy subject for you. Does anyone else know?" She reached out and squeezed my arm supportively, I smiled at her, I was grateful for the small gesture.

"Only Emily, Katie and Cook, I told Cook yesterday because he noticed that something was bothering me, and Emily and Katie were there when I found out."

"Jesus and that was the first time you've ever met him?"

"Yup, first time in twenty years. I still can't believe Mum forgave him." I muttered more to myself.

"You forgave Emily." She said in a matter of fact tone.

I rolled my eyes, "Cook said the same fucking thing, but it's completely different!" I grumbled in annoyance. Effy sighed and shook her head at me.

"No it isn't. If you really love someone then you will find the strength to forgive them. Freddie forgave me even after all the shit I put him through; Emily forgave you even after all the times you ran away, Dad forgave Mum even though she cheated on him and Gina forgave your Dad. Everyone deserves a second chance, Naoms…do you see my point?"

"Yeah, we're all fucking naïve." I snapped. I knew I was being stupid but I couldn't stop it. I wanted to forgive Keith but at the same time I wanted to continue being mad at him. The only problem was that I knew I had pissed off Effy from the glare she shot at me.

"For fucks sake, Naomi, grow up. He made a mistake; we can all vouch to that, especially you since you've done the exact same as him. If you don't want to forgive him then don't, but your mum is happy and at least he's trying to fix it." She shouted coldly and stormed off, leaving me standing alone and feeling idiotic.

I sighed and stomped my foot on the ground childishly, they were all fucking right and I didn't like it. I understood where they were coming from, but why couldn't they understand my reasons for being wary of him? Yes, we all fuck up, we all make mistakes but not everyone deserves to be forgiven, at least not straight away. Keith couldn't just walk into my life after twenty years of no contact and expect me to run into his arms and start playing happy families, he couldn't expect me to be happy with it, no one could. That's what was annoying me the most, I had only recently found out and they all seemed to think that I was going to get up and jump for joy. Well, they were fucking wrong; it was the last thing I was going to do.

I growled in frustration and began walking in a different direction; I had made up my mind and I had business to attend to.

.x – x.

"Mum, open the fuck up!" I shouted as I pounded my fist against the front door. I had been waiting outside for at least a minute or so and no one had come to let me in. I assumed that they were in as Keith's car was parked outside, and somehow I didn't think they'd go out for an afternoon stroll. I rested my head against the door and that's when I heard movements coming from inside, as well as muffled voices. I banged my fist against the door again; I could feel myself becoming incredibly annoyed.

"I can hear you in there so open the goddamn door!" I yelled impatiently.

A few seconds later, I finally heard the lock click and the door opened, revealing Gina with scruffy hair and wearing her scarlet dressing gown. She smiled somewhat nervously at me, just as I noticed a flustered Keith coming downstairs wearing nothing but his dark blue jeans. I suddenly realized what I had just interrupted and cringed in disgust, I pushed past Gina and walked into the living room, dropping my bags on the floor.

"Well aren't you as pleasant as always." She chirped sarcastically. I rolled my eyes and raised my middle finger at her.

"Right, what's wrong?" She demanded seriously as they both followed me into the room. I released a deep breath and stared her straight in the eye.

"I had a lovely chat with your ex boyfriend a minute ago." I sneered angrily. Keith frowned and looked down at Gina, who had stiffened at the mention of her ex. Her jaw clenched and she frowned at me.

"What?" She replied sternly.

"Oh yeah, Ian, he's actually quite charming really, especially when he accuses me of breaking you two up, and calling you a slag, and calling me a psycho. You really know how to pick 'em." I snapped bitterly, my eyes darted to Keith who was already looking at me. His eyes were hard; he knew exactly what I was doing. Gina fidgeted uncomfortably, her eyes occasionally flicked back to mine, and they were filled with concern and guilt.

"Oh Naomi, that man really is a prick, I'm sorry." She apologized miserably. Her voice was genuine but her posture said a lot more, she suddenly looked troubled and exhausted, I started to feel guilty.

"It's not your fault; I just don't appreciate being harassed in the middle of the street." I explained calmly. Gina nodded and smiled at me.

"I know love; I felt the same when he did it to me."

"So will you talk to him and tell him to fuck off?" Gina flinched at my proposition and she looked at me as if I was crazy.

"There's no point love, it will only piss him off."

"So? Come on Mum, he can't start yelling at me in the street just because you bruised his ego." I tried to reason, I was beginning to get annoyed again.

"You just have to ignore him, Naomi." She muttered.

"What and allow him to continue assaulting me? For fucks sake Mum, this is fucking ridiculous." I shouted at her, she bowed her head and avoided making eye contact with me. I groaned in frustration.

"Naomi, calm down." Keith stepped in, speaking calmly. I laughed slightly and shook my head at him.

"No no no, don't you dare try playing father figure with me." I snapped.

"Naomi!" Gina exclaimed in a warning tone.

"No, it's okay love." Keith said to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. She smiled up at him but he continued to look at me.

"Naomi, I'm not playing. I am your father." He said strongly. I snorted and shook my head again, anger was building inside of me and I wasn't entirely sure why.

"Oh really? Sorry, I kind of forgot since you were never around." I snarled nastily. I hated the words that were slipping from my mouth, but I couldn't stop them. I had to get it out of my system.

"I know and I want to change that. I can't change what I've done but I wish I could, which is why I want to make up for it now. Naomi, please will you let me?" He pleaded softly. I felt my resolve wanting to crumble, I felt the little girl who always wanted her daddy awaken within me, and she wanted to take over and run into her father's arms. I had to force her back inside.

"Why, so you can run away again?" I shot back spitefully. I should have bitten my tongue, but my mouth had a bloody mind of its own. Keith sighed and rubbed his hand across his jaw, I could tell he was fed up.

"I think you've taken my place with that." He replied bluntly.

His sharp response struck a nerve. My mouth dropped open in surprise, I gaped at him in silence, I was unable to find the words to speak. That was a cheap shot; I was running away because he had destroyed my trust right from the start and I wasn't sure if I could forgive him for it. Truthfully, I was terrified of losing him again, which was why I couldn't get close to him. He didn't know anything about me and he was still able to hurt me, and I didn't like it.

I felt the tears begin to emerge. I looked between my parents, Gina was visibly upset and Keith was tense. They had both done their own fair share of shit that helped fuck me up, but now they were making me angry.

"Well having you two for parents, I've never stood a chance." I muttered coldly.

Hurt flashed across both of their faces and I could feel the pain growing within me. I might have been mad at them but I didn't want to hurt them, except I had to. My chest was aching, it was hard to do but it had to be done, trusting Keith was a risk I couldn't take. If he was anywhere near as stubborn as I was, then I knew he wouldn't give up easily, I could only hope that hurting him would make him give up. I grabbed my bags and fled from the room before either of them could speak, but I heard them follow me, so I span round to finish it of.

"You're right Dad; I have taken your place, which is why I have to go. You two are happy and I'm glad, but I don't trust you." I whispered the last part, it was painful to say, and from Keith's defeated expression, it must have been painful to hear.

I looked at them one last time, I had gone ahead and hurt them both to protect myself, and it was hard to look at them without being pierced with guilt. I threw open the front door and ran out, slamming it behind me.

.x – x.

What do you guys like to do before you sit down to read/write fan fictions? I like to have a cup of tea and some toast; it's like a ritual for me to do so. I'm not entirely sure if I'm happy with this chapter, but I hope it's alright, if it's not…well, how about I make you all some tea and toast? Will that make up for it? Drop a review and let me know? I'll give hugs *puppy dog eyes*


	23. Chapter 23

Hello you wonderful, wonderful people that I love very much! No…I'm not trying to suck up because I've taken a long time to update…well, I might be…just a little bit. Forgive me? This story would probably be finished by now if it wasn't for the fact that I don't have the internet, which is why I'm giving you guys quite a few chapters each time I'm able to update. Yeah…that's true love there!

Anyway, I have basically the rest of this story planned out and I'm writing it all up as fast as I can. This chapter contains some smut, as I thought I'd treat you guys, and this is dedicated to each and every one of you who read this story! I love you all.

I don't own skins, or any of the characters – but I bet we could give JB a run for his money.

.x – x.

_I cannot let it rest in peace dear, I'll consume myself, it was my only true fear. I hate this fucking aftertaste and I hate it even more without you here. This love was my pain, my hurt, my cancer, and all I wanted was to find an answer._

_You love and respect someone so deeply and then you lose them for your own self odium. _

I walked down the street listening to InMe with the volume up full, enjoying the feeling of the music tearing through my eardrums. It muddled up the thoughts in my mind, which was what I needed, I couldn't bear to think about upsetting my parents, and the devastated image of Keith when I said I didn't trust him.

I had fucked it up, and I wasn't even sure if it was really for the best. Once again, I had acted on the anger and upset those around me. I raked my hand through me hair and sighed, I was such an idiot at times.

I was making my way back to Effy's so that I could apologize and get changed before heading to Emily's. The last thing I wanted was Effy being mad at me for any longer, I had screwed things up with my parents; I definitely didn't want to do the same with my best friend. I sent a text to Emily, telling her that I would be over soon. I was even more excited about seeing her considering the shitty day I was having, I knew being with my girl would make it all better.

I rounded the corner of Effy's street; her place was a couple of houses further up. Soon enough, I was outside the front door, I pulled my keys out of my jeans and opened the door; I stepped inside and closed it behind me. I made my way straight upstairs and into my bedroom, I dropped my bags onto the bed and began rummaging through them, pulling out the new clothes I had bought. I stripped out of my clothes and my underwear; I had bought a sexy red lace bra that pushed my boobs up and a matching red thong.

_Emily's in for a treat, _I thought and smirked as I looked myself over in the mirror, the underwear complimented my body nicely. I slipped into my new light gray skinny jeans and my new red and white plaid shirt, I quickly straightened my hair which has curled slightly from being outside and I clipped my fringe back, pushing it forward slightly into a quiff. I applied some more make up and put on my "special occasion" black heels.

Once I was happy with the way I looked, I grabbed the last of my stuff that I needed and headed back downstairs. I peered round the living room, Effy and Freddie were cuddled together on the sofa and Mike was in the chair, they were all intently watching the TV. I cleared my throat awkwardly, getting their attention. Mike's eyes widened as I came fully into his view.

"Wow, Naomi you look great!" He exclaimed with a boyish grin on his face.

"Mike, you've seen me dressed like this plenty of times." I reminded him as I watched his eyes roam up and down my body.

"Yeah but you look really hot!" He continued to grin.

I rolled my eyes, "Shut up. Eff, can I talk to you? "I asked the brunette nervously, who had gone back to watching the TV. She looked up at me with a bored expression on her face and shrugged.

"Sure." She replied bluntly. She removed herself from Freddie and she followed me out of the room and into the kitchen. I leaned against the counter, racking my brain to try and think of what to say. From the impatient look on Effy's face, I was pretty sure I didn't have long.

"What do you want?" She asked, now also sounding bored.

"Eff, I'm sorry. I know I was being a twat earlier but I didn't mean to upset you." I blurted out desperately. Her expression softened and she sighed.

"No, I'm sorry Naoms, I was being unnecessary. I'm just so touchy towards everything at the moment." She explained in a low voice. I stepped forward and pulled the smaller girl into a tight embrace; she wrapped her arms around my neck and held me close. I smiled, I liked how quickly we could make up after a fight, even ones that were much more serious than the one we had earlier. As Effy always says, life's too short. And not only that, our friendship was too important for us to fall out over something unimportant. I pulled back after a while and held Effy's hand instead.

"It's okay, you were right anyway. It's just… I really don't trust Keith, and I'm scared he's going to run away from us again." I admitted sadly. Effy squeezed my hand gently.

"Parents fuck you up, I don't think they mean to, but they do. They love us in their own twisted ways but at other times, they don't give a shit and they are capable of hurting us worse than anyone else. They try so hard to make sure we're not like them, but instead they push us away and make us resent them. I just hope I don't do the same to my child." Effy whispered at the end of her rant, it was possibly the most she had ever said in one sentence. I had taken in everything she said, her anger towards her parents was still visible and I understood why. It's hard to forgive anyone once they've hurt you, let alone someone who's supposed to love you unconditionally and protect you with life.

How are you supposed to trust anyone when the one person who you believe will never hurt you, hurts you in the worst possible way? I was still unable to answer that question.

I kept repeating Effy's words in my head because a part of it didn't make sense. I frowned and thought it over again.

_I just hope I don't do the same to my child._

My eyes widened after realization struck me, I gaped at Effy in shock.

"You're pregnant?" I exclaimed, keeping my voice low so no one could overhear us. Effy looked at me in surprise.

"I'm not pregnant." She said sternly. I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms over my chest, challenging her.

"Really? It would explain your constant mood swings, weird eating habits and your sudden distaste for cigarettes."

"Maybe so, but I'm not pregnant." She repeated her voice still hard.

"Then why did you say it?" Effy sighed in frustration.

"Because I meant if I have a kid in the future. Now will you shut up before Freddie hears you?" She growled, her eyes sharp with annoyance. I grinned; I knew I was driving her up the wall.

"If you're not pregnant, why does it matter if he hears?" I countered cheekily. Effy's eyes were shooting daggers at me.

"Because I don't know how he'll react if he thinks I'm pregnant!" She replied fiercely but I was almost sure I could hear a hint of sadness in her voice.

"Are you kidding me? He'd be ecstatic! Eff, Freddie loves you more than anything; he'd love to start a family with you!" I tried to reassure her, we both knew that it was the truth but Effy shrugged, she suddenly looked unsure and vulnerable.

"Really?" She asked in a small voice.

"Of course, you should tell him!"

"There's nothing to tell, Naomi!"

"Okay, okay!" I laughed and raised my hands up in defeat, even though I knew she wasn't telling the truth, I'd just wait until she decided to stop being stubborn. Effy sighed and shook her head but she had an amused smile on her face.

"You're a pain in my ass, Campbell." I smirked and hugged my best friend again.

"As are you, Stonem"

Effy shoved me playfully which only made me laugh more. It made me feel a ton better, knowing the Effy wasn't actually mad at me. I hated falling out with any of my friends, but losing Effy or Cook would be like losing an organ. I needed them to survive.

"I have to agree with Mike though, you do look hot!" Effy giggled, her eyes took in my appearance and her lips curled up into her trademark smile. I chuckled, if Effy wasn't with Freddie and hadn't been for nearly four years, I would question whether or not she was possibly a lesbian, or at least bisexual.

"God, what is it with you guys perving over me at the moment?" I teased.

"Because you do look good, love agrees with you." Effy replied happily. I chuckled at how cheesy she sounded.

"Fuck off; I'm happy for many reasons, thanks to you." I explained, smiling at Effy in appreciation. She smiled back, the expression on her face said the unspoken "you're welcome."

"I better go, I told Emily that I would be at hers soon." I said, breaking the silence after a while. Effy nodded and walked me to the front door; I hugged her one last time before I left.

"Have fun!" Effy called out after me in a teasing voice. I looked back over my shoulder to see her casually leaning against the door frame, grinning at me. I winked at her and quickly looked ahead of me before I ended up walking into a lamppost or something. I pulled out a cigarette from the packet and lit up, I sighed happily, nothing could put me down now.

It took me about twenty minutes to get to Emily's by walking, but it was a simple route. I turned down the road that Emily mentioned in the text and I noticed the surprisingly neat block of flats on the right and made my way over to them. I easily found the front door and entered the flat number into the buzzer. It rang a few times before it finally clicked.

"Hello?" Emily's beautiful husky voice sang out of the speaker, causing my insides to fill with butterflies. I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

"Hey, it's me." I replied, still smiling.

"Oh hey, come on up! Take a left at the top of the stairs and it's the door at the end." She spoke cheerfully, and I heard another click. I eagerly pushed the door open and leapt up the stairs two at a time; I turned left at the top and noticed the door at the end. I ran up to it and knocked a couple of times. I was almost bouncing on the spot with excitement.

The door opened not long after, revealing Emily who was looking even more beautiful than I thought was possible. Her hair fell down her shoulders in curls, making it look shorter in length but it framed her small face. Her fringe was brushed to the side instead of sitting in its usual place above her eyes, which were shining against the black eye shadow Emily had applied. She was also wearing a dark red lipstick, making her lips look plump and irresistibly sexy, especially as she smiled at me in a way that turned my legs into jelly.

My eyes trailed further down her body, she wore a tight white blouse with black pinstripes tucked into her mini denim shorts. The top button of her blouse was undone, revealing a lovely amount of cleavage, which I tried desperately not to stare at for too long. I slowly trailed my eyes down her legs, for a short girl, Emily had deliciously long legs. They were slim, but curvy and looked ridiculously nice in her shorts, simply because of the amount of skin on show. My mouth went dry from just looking at her, and the butterflies had spread and multiplied.

"Are you gonna come in?" Emily laughed, causing me to break out of my fixated gazing.

I nodded slowly and stepped inside, Emily closed the door behind me. Emily slipped her hand into mine and pulled me through the short hallway and into the living room, which was also connected to an open kitchen. The living room was decorated with a cream carpet but it changed into wooden flooring in the kitchen area. The walls were painted a soft cream and there were a few random pictures hanging on the walls which she probably received from Jenna. There was a large open window at the other side of the room, there was only a view of other houses but it didn't look bad, especially not with the clear blue sky and the bright rays of sunshine that highlighted every colour on everything that it shone upon. A gentle breeze rolled in through the open window, which contrasted nicely against the heat inside of the apartment. It was spotless too, so I had no idea if Emily had been on a cleaning spree or if she was generally a tidy person, she might have inherited Jenna's cleaning obsession.

There was a flat screen TV on top of a silver cabinet filled with DVDs in the right hand corner of the room. There was a couple more cabinets and each of the shelves were filled with DVD's, books and CD's. It was an impressive collection, though I knew a lot of them were Katie's.

After looking around, I finally turned back around to face Emily. She smiled slightly and stepped forward, wrapping her arms around my waist, she instantly had my attention.

"Do you like it?" She whispered.

Her eyes were dancing between my eyes and my lips, I swallowed hard and nodded, I suddenly felt slightly nervous like I did in my teenage years; it amazed me that Emily still had the same effect over me. I slowly leaned in and our lips connected gently, the butterflies in my stomach were having a fucking party. Emily's hands gripped my shirt and I pressed my lips harder against hers, we broke away after a while, both gasping to catch our breath. Emily's lips curled up into a smirk and her eyes twinkled with mischief, I was about to ask but she suddenly shoved me back until the back of my knees collided with the sofa (which I hadn't noticed was behind us) and I fell back against the cushions. Emily quickly straddled my lap and began kissing me ferociously, her deliciously soft tongue slipped into my mouth and danced over mine, I responded eagerly and kissed her back as hard as I could. I slipped my hands down her waist and squeezed her ass, causing Emily to giggle slightly. She pulled back and looked at me; her eyes were filled with lust and she bit her lip seductively. A burning desire ached between my legs.

"We have the place to ourselves." She grinned mischievously.

I didn't reply, I grabbed her waist and flipped her over, she squealed in surprise as she hit the bottom cushions until I crawled over her and began attacking her neck, and she gasped and gripped my back, digging her nails into my skin. I sucked and nibbled her neck, making sure I left a mark.

"Oh fuck, I've missed you!" Emily groaned as I glided my tongue up her neck until I reached her ear. I tugged on her lobe gently with my teeth before I started breathing deeply in her ear. As a teenager, it drove Emily crazy and I knew it still had the same effect over her from the way she was squirming beneath me, she was trying to move but I held her down and continued my assault. Emily groaned and she suddenly pushed herself up with more strength than before, causing me to topple off of the sofa, I pulled her with me and we both landed on the floor awkwardly, we both burst into a fit of giggles.

"You're horrible." Emily slapped my arm playfully, but her voice was huskier than before.

"I've missed you too." I replied happily. She smiled and kissed me again, but she pulled away before it deepened.

"Would you like a drink?" She asked, I nodded and she got to her feet, helping me up at the same time.

Emily walked over to the fridge, and I couldn't help but stare at her ass as she moved, the denim shorts were a delightful fucking tease.

"Would you like water or juice?" She asked, looking back at me with a cute smile on her face.

"I brought wine." I offered, suddenly remembering the bottle that I bought earlier on. Emily raised an eyebrow and grinned.

"Well, aren't you fucking perfect?" I laughed and retrieved the bottle from the bag whilst Emily got the glasses. I poured us both a large amount once the cork was removed and Emily tapped her glass against mine. I leaned in and kissed her before drinking the liquid.

Evidently, one glass led to two, which led to us polishing of the entire bottle. I gave Emily a task of going around her apartment to try and find any alcohol that her or Katie might have stashed away somewhere. After a while, she came back with a few bottles in hand and a satisfied grin on her face. We started on the bottle of vodka, drinking it straight from the bottle. I set up my Ipod with the speakers and put the volume up full, Adam Lambert's "For your entertainment" blasted out and Emily pulled me against her. I poured more vodka into my mouth as Emily started grinding her body into mine; I gripped her waist tightly and began moving with her in rhythm to the beat.

The air was filled with desire and I was becoming more and more turned on. Our bodies were almost molded together and Emily kept grinding her ass into my front, I squeezed her hips and kissed her neck. We were both about to crack and I had no idea who'd be first. I reached down and scratched my nails up the inside of Emily's thighs until I reached the material of her shorts, she groaned softly.

"Oh, do you like what you see? Oh, let me entertain you 'til you scream." I sang in Emily's ear at the same time as digging my nails into her. A shudder rippled through Emily's body and she whirled around and crushed her lips against mine, pushing back and slamming me into the nearest wall. Her hands were on my hips and her tongue was tantalizingly slipping over mine, I groaned at the sweet taste and pulled Emily harder against me, leaving no gap between our bodies. I slipped my hands down to her cute ass and squeezed again, but instead of making her giggle, it spurred her on. Her hands flew to my shirt and she quickly undone all the buttons and pushed it off my shoulders, she pulled back to take a look, and her eyes widened at the sight of my new bra. I grinned, mission accomplished.

I released a deep breath as her hands brushed across the red material and her mouth skimmed across my bare chest, her warm breath sent multiple shivers down my spine. I grabbed her blouse and removed it in seconds; I pulled Emily back into me so that I could feel her lovely soft skin on mine. I pressed our lips together again before spinning us around and pushing Emily up against the wall. I slipped my hands down her sides and down to her thighs, I lifted her off the ground and she wrapped her legs around my waist and continued to kiss me.

"God, I love you." Emily breathed against my lips. I smiled at the words; I would never get tired of hearing her say them.

The song changed to Rihanna's "Hard." The song was a guilty pleasure of mine, and it surprisingly fit with the moment, and the mood between Emily and me. I kissed down her throat and bit the skin above her collar bone, Emily cried out and threw her head back, resting it against the wall as I smothered her neck and travelled down her torso. I kneaded her breasts through the silk black bra, slipping my fingers inside where I found her already erect nipples. I rolled and squeezed the nub between my fingers, Emily groaned and pushed her chest out, she tangled her hands through my hair and pulled, luckily the pain only added to the pleasure.

I moved us away from the wall, keeping a firm hold on Emily. Though due to not being able to see, and not actually caring, I accidentally slammed Emily pretty hard into the cupboard. She growled and tugged on my bottom lip with her teeth and scraped her nails down my back. I gasped at the sharp pain, but fuck it felt so good. I managed to find the kitchen counter, but I didn't put Emily down gracefully. Instead, I ended up knocking the bottles and glasses off the side, sending them crashing to the floor, but we ignored it. It was hard to concentrate when I had Emily's tongue inside my mouth.

My hands found the top of her shorts and I flicked the button open with ease. Emily pushed herself up, making it easier for me to slide them down her legs. I gently scratched my nails up the inside of her thighs, I could feel Emily tensing every time I got close to where she needed me to be, but I wasn't going to give in straight away. I slid a finger into the side of her black panties, gasping at the heat and moisture coming from her centre.

"Fuck, Emily you're so wet." I whispered, looking her in the eye hungrily. Emily smirked, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she breathed heavily.

"Yeah, what are you going to do about it?" She replied huskily. Her now black eyes were challenging as well as pleading me.

I didn't reply but I stroked my finger across her clit. Emily drew in a sharp intake of breath; I literally felt the jolt go through her body.

"I could do this…" I whispered, rubbing my finger up and down her clit slowly. I watched in satisfaction as Emily bit down on her lip and closed her eyes. "Or I could do this." I said as I removed my finger from her underwear. Emily quickly grasped my hand.

"Please." She begged, trying to bring my hand back to her centre.

I smirked. "Jeez Em, you're so impatient. You didn't let me finish." I placed my hands on her hips, my fingers toying with the sides of her panties.

"What I meant, was that I could also do this." I continued as I began to pull her panties down her legs.

Once the item was discarded, Emily opened her legs eagerly, revealing everything to me (not that I hadn't seen it before). I bit my lip as I looked up and down her body, I was practically eye fucking her, and she was enjoying it.

"You're so fucking beautiful." I growled, shooting forward to reconnect our lips.

Emily kissed me hard, pulling me as close to her as possible. I slipped my hand between us again and started circling my finger over her clit, speeding up my movements before plunging my fingers deep inside her warm core. Emily gasped and gripped onto my shoulders as I slowly pumped my fingers in and out.

"Oh fuck." She groaned as I sped up and pushed deeper into her. Her head dropped to the crook of my neck where she gently kissed and nibbled the skin, the feel of her hot breath was driving me crazy.

Emily moaned and called my name over and over, especially as I slammed harder against her. I could feel her walls tightening around my fingers, and her body was covered in a light sheen of sweat. I loved seeing her so worked up because of what I was doing to her; I loved hearing her cry my name. Her nails were nearly cutting into my skin from how hard she was digging them into me, but it didn't matter, neither did the burning in my bicep. I rested my head against Emily's chest, and bit down hard on her collar bone, causing Emily to yelp.

"Naomi…I'm so fucking close." She managed to shout out eventually after many attempts.

I pressed my thumb against her clit and curled my fingers, and I felt her walls clench. Emily panted rapidly, and swore multiple times as I held my fingers in place, riding out her orgasm with her. Her body shuddered and I felt her release with a very loud moan (I loved how verbal she was during sex.)

"I love you, I love you, I love you." She whispered against my neck. I chuckled and slowly removed my fingers before dipping my head and kissing her gently on the lips.

"I love you too." I murmured into the kiss.

We stayed there for a while just cuddling, kissing and whispering sweet nothings to each other. It stilled surprised me how much I loved Emily even after everything that had happened between us. I knew I would never love anyone the way I loved her, there was no part of me that doubted it. I didn't want to waste my time going through the past when I had the rest of my life to spend with Emily. I was fucking lucky to have found her at such a young age, and spending three years without her was torture enough, there was no way I could've survived any longer.

"I want to be with you forever, I never want to live without you again." I whispered into Emily's hair. She kissed my forehead and held me tightly.

"You won't have to, ever. I promise." She replied and kissed me tenderly. I could feel all of our emotions pouring into each other, and it was beautiful.

I carried Emily away from the counter and led her down on the sofa, never breaking the kiss. We held each other as our bodies slipped over the others, with the delightful feel of our naked skin together as we removed our remaining articles of clothing.

We made love to each other over and over, and in every part of the living room/kitchen. Our emotions and energies were bound together, I was almost sure that I could hear them crackling like electricity. But I knew for certain that it was the electricity between us that was making my body tingle.

.x – x.

So…what do you think? I thought I would throw this in so that you guys had an enjoyable chapter to read. But the question is…was it enjoyable? You will have to let me know…in a review. Mwahaha! Unfortunately, I fail at the evil laugh. It makes me sad.

Anyway, feel free to drop a review, they do make me rather happy, and I love knowing what you all think! I'm also open to ideas and any criticism; it all helps me become a better writer. Oh, and the lyrics at the beginning of this chapter are from InMe's song "In loving memory." I absolutely love it.

Lots of love, KairiM xo.


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey guys, I'm sorry for disappearing again. I don't have the internet at the moment so it's hard for me to update, I haven't given up on this story and I will get it finished eventually. Please don't give up on me because you guys are great and I'm sorry for letting you down. Let me know what you think!**

**Warning: This chapter contains some angst and talks of rape. If you don't like the contents then please don't read.**

With a guttural moan, Emily collapsed against my chest. We led still, both gasping for air and trembling from exhaustion, and the cold sweat that coated our bodies. I didn't even have the energy to wrap my arms around her petite waist, nor did Emily move to curl up against my side.

"I never thought I'd ever say this," I croaked, barely managing to force out the words. "But I think that's enough sex for one day."

We had been fucking like rabbits, in every room, surface and floor in her flat. It was safe to say that we had "christened" it pretty darn well. Emily nodded silently against my chest and slowly moved so that we were laying side by side, only our arms touching to keep the contact between us. We led in silence, only our breathing could be heard in Emily's bedroom, the rest of the apartment remained quiet, we had been together for hours, and it was even dark outside. I couldn't help but feel nostalgic, today reminded me of us in our teenage years when we'd fuck all day and all night long, and then we would talk and laugh before falling asleep, wrapped up in the safety of each others arms.

"This is nice." Emily whispered sincerity evident in her voice.

I wanted so badly to agree, but I couldn't form the words or even movements to do so. It was nice, but there was also a small cloud of tension that was washing over us, or maybe it was only washing over me. A feeling was building up inside of me, so raw and real that it was scaring the living shit out of me, and I had no idea what I was supposed to do about it. It was so familiar that it almost felt comforting but at the same time it was completely foreign, it was something I knew I couldn't and shouldn't feel.

It was the need to build a wall between anyone who tried to get the close to me, and the need to stop Emily from playing with my heart.

My heart clenched at the thought, causing tiny slivers of pain to shoot through my chest. My lungs constricted, cutting off my supply of oxygen and I suddenly began to feel claustrophobic. I needed fresh air, but I was scared that if I left the room, I wouldn't come back. I hadn't felt like this in a long time, not since the last time I tried to stop Emily from getting close to me, and I failed, just like I knew I would this time.

As much as I knew it would break Emily's heart if she knew exactly what I was feeling, this time I had the rights to be scared - she had given me the rights, handed to me on paper with her fucking signature. In fact, it was breaking my heart, knowing that once again I was terrified of Emily and the hold she had over me, she defied everything I knew and believed in. One minute I was content, ready to try and forget the past, ready to move on with Emily by my side, but now I was scared that if something went wrong, she'd bail.

Why couldn't I ever just be happy? Why were there always so many fucking complications? There was only one person I could talk to who would vaguely understand my feelings, and I did not want to see him.

"What's wrong?" Emily's strong voice cut through my thoughts, bringing me back to reality. Her voice was hard with no signs of emotion, so I couldn't read what she was thinking or feeling. I turned to look at her, but she continued to stare up at the ceiling. I sighed, what was I supposed to say?

"Nothing's wrong." I lied terribly, shaking my head at how unbelievable I sounded.

"Yeah right," Emily snorted. "You're shit at lying, Naomi."

I didn't say anything in return; instead I looked back up at the ceiling and frowned. The lack of emotion in Emily's voice had me confused, usually she would sound either concerned or annoyed, but it was as though she wasn't interested, just asking because she felt she had to. How was I supposed to talk to her with these thoughts running through my mind?

"What's up with you?" I asked back, hoping for some kind of reaction, and I got one. Emily quickly sat up and moved towards the end of the bed, she turned to face me; the expressions on her face were hard as she glared at me.

"Because we just made love and now you're a hundred miles away. I touched you and your body went rigid, I was talking to you and you weren't even listening. So I'm sorry for feeling a little hurt and rejected right now." She snapped harshly, her voice cracking slightly with emotion.

I frowned again. Had I really been that deep in thought that I didn't even notice her speaking to me? Had my body really acted on its own accord because my mind was somewhere else? I knew I was distracted but I hadn't realized that I had been treating Emily as though she didn't exist.

I was suddenly filled with guilt. I sat up and reached out to grasp Emily's hand, but she drew hers back before our fingers even connected, and I felt another sharp pain shoot through me.

"I'm sorry Ems, I didn't realize." I admitted sadly.

"I know you didn't, but when you don't talk to me that leaves me to wonder what on earth you're thinking about."

"Honestly it's nothing to worry about."

Emily scoffed and pushed herself up from the bed, she began to pace the room. I watched her naked figure, but no desire ran through me, I knew we were about to go nowhere fast.

"Would you please stop doing that? I'm supposed to be your girlfriend, the person who you're in love with, I used to be one of your best friends…but you never talk to me, you never have. You never answer any of my questions, you just brush them off as though it's unimportant, but they are Naomi. We're supposed to be getting to know each other again, but we're not. I barely know anything about the new you; you're like a stranger to me." She finished her rant with a sigh, and she stopped pacing and turned to face me, waiting for a reaction.

I looked down at my hands, I swallowed hard. I knew exactly where our conversation would lead to if we talked, how could I tell Emily about that?

"Why can't we just enjoy our time together? Why do we have to bring up the past?" I muttered loud enough for her to hear.

"Because everyone except me knows what happened. They all know what to do if something goes wrong but I know nothing!"

"Katie doesn't know…"

"Well you're not having fucking sex with Katie, are you? She's not your fucking girlfriend!" She almost screamed, her small body shook with anger. I clenched my fists and grounded my teeth, trying to keep my own anger in check.

"Why is it so fucking important to you, Emily?" I growled through my teeth.

"Because you're important to me, and you're supposed to trust me!"

"Well maybe I don't." I snapped without thinking.

Emily's eyes widened at my angered confession, and I could see the hurt that resided within them. Her mouth opened but nothing came out, and silence filled the room once more. My heart slammed against my chest and a rocked formed in my throat, I wanted to take it back so badly, I wanted to tell her that I didn't mean it, even though I did. I didn't trust her, I was scared of her and now she knew that, and I hated myself for it. Neither of us spoke or moved an inch, I was pretty sure that Emily was hoping that I'd take it back, and I wanted to but I knew I couldn't.

Emily finally cleared her throat after a while, but she didn't look at me.

"Well, if that's how you feel then you know where the door is, and don't bother coming back." She spoke quietly, but her words packed a punch.

I watched her grab her dressing gown from the back of the door and she stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her, causing the walls to shudder against the force. I covered my face with my hands as the tears began to rise, everything was going so perfectly between us and I had managed to fuck it up once again. I bit back the sob that tried to escape my mouth, but I couldn't stop the tears from falling down my face. I wanted to scream at the crestfallen image of Emily in my mind, I wanted to scream at myself for being a selfish idiot. She was only trying to care and make up for the years of lost time, and I threw it back in her face. I didn't trust her but that didn't mean I never would, it hadn't been that long since we got back together and I wasn't even giving her the chance to prove me wrong. I knew I could trust her again over time but I blew it. What the fuck was wrong with me?

"For fucks sake." I whispered into my hands.

I couldn't leave. If I did then that would mean the end of us, and I couldn't go through that again. I had lost her once; I couldn't lose her again, not after everything that had happened, not when we both knew we were meant to be together. I was pretty sure that I would love Emily until the day I died, but I couldn't love her if I couldn't be with her, so I knew I had to suck it up.

I grabbed a t-shirt from the floor and slipped it over my head before making my way out of the room and down the hall to the living room, the door was slightly ajar. I looked through and spotted Emily on the sofa, she was hunched over with her head in her hands, and I could hear her sniffling quietly. Guilt surged through me again; I took a deep breath and pushed the door fully open.

Emily didn't look up as I entered the room, not that I expected her to. I perched on the end of the coffee table and watched her for a few seconds, I had a strong urge to comfort her but I knew she would only push me away, and I deserved it. It was time to tell her the truth.

"It happened the night of the party, the one before we started our second year at college." I began; my voice seemed to echo through the silent room. I noticed Emily freeze but she didn't look up, so I continued.

"It was after I walked you home and I had to walk the long way back to my house. I was walking down the street that everyone tries to avoid at night, the one that's barely lit by the streetlamps when he pulled up beside me in his car. At first I thought he was just some drunken idiot, I thought he was harmless. He shouted some perverted comments at me and obviously I couldn't keep my fucking mouth shut, so I told him where to go." Emily was now looking at me, her face slightly red from crying. I couldn't look at her whilst I recited my worst memory, the one that was still so clear in my mind. I could see it in my mind as if it was happening again, and I felt my body begin to tremble. It had been years since I last had to explain fully what happened and it still hadn't gotten any easier.

"He stopped the car and that's when I first began to panic, so I walked faster, but he was faster than me. He grabbed me from behind, covered my mouth so I couldn't scream and he forced me into the back of his car. I tried to get away but he kept hitting me and he nearly knocked me unconscious, I wish he had because I wouldn't have had to endure what he done to me." I spat the last sentence in disgust. My whole entire body was trembling violently and I couldn't stop it, I hated talking, I hated all of the fucking memories and feelings it brought back. My throat burned as I forced myself not to cry.

"I screamed, I cried and I smacked him until I thought my hands were going to break but my struggling only seemed to spur him on. Nothing could compare to the pain that he made me feel that night. I asked him to stop…no, I begged him to stop. I screamed until I thought my lungs were going to collapse but no one fucking came, no one fucking heard me." The tears were slowly beginning to make their way down my cheeks and I didn't bother to try and stop them. I looked up at Emily who was also crying and her eyes were wild with shock.

"Naomi…"

"Once he was done, he started strangling me; he called me a slut and said that if I told anyone, he'd kill me. I didn't tell anyone because I believed him, and I had never felt so scared of anyone before. I thought I was going to die there and then, I was fucking terrified for my life and all I could think about was you. I thought about how you'd find out, how you would react, what you would do after I was gone…" A sob burst from my lips.

"After he let me go, a part of me wished that he had killed me, because I felt dead inside. He violated me; he stripped me of my dignity and left me feeling like I was nothing more than dirt. He was a part of me and no matter how hard I scrubbed at my skin; I could still feel him on me. I felt like nothing more than damaged goods…tainted."

"Cook was the first person I told and that was only because I smashed his face in, in the middle of college, I didn't really have a choice. I freaked out because his grip on my arm was too strong and it reminded me of his. I nearly stabbed Ian because I could smell his aftershave and whisky on his breath, those smells give me flashbacks. Everything that he did to me, it still affects me to this day Emily.

Ian didn't help it either, he added to the anger that was building inside of me and eventually it just burst. I was angry at everyone around me and at times, I wanted them to feel the same way that I did. I lost control and I couldn't stop myself from acting out, it was like I was someone else. I felt dirty and disgusting, I felt like I was worthless. Sometimes I still feel that way because even the smallest things can remind me of that night. Whenever I feel sad or angry, I can hear him taunting me, I can still hear his voice in my head and it makes me sick."

My breathing was erratic but I couldn't stop myself from pouring everything out to Emily. The only other person who knew these things was Karl; no one else knew how I truly felt about myself. I looked up at Emily through teary eyes.

"I'm not over what he did to me and I don't think I ever will be. I've just learned how to cope."

That was the last thing I could say before I properly broke down into tears. I buried my face into my arms as sobs began to rack my body uncontrollably, I could see it all so clearly in my mind and I hated how weak it made me feel. I felt Emily's arms wrap around my body, and I tried to push her off but she held on tight, cradling my head against her chest and her arms formed a protective cage around me. I felt almost safe but my mind was raging with the memories that would never leave me, and would forever haunt me. She now knew my darkest secret and my biggest weakness.

"I am so sorry." Emily whispered tearfully against my hair.

We stayed cuddled for a while until I eventually began to calm down, and I shifted my body to sit in Emily's lap whilst she cradled me against her body, her arms never once breaking their cage. I could hear her heart slamming against her ribcage, the information seemed to be a lot to take in, every time I had told it to someone, silence would follow. When I told my friends, they held me and comforted me, just like Emily was doing, I helped calm me down but I needed to know what she was thinking.

When you had been hurt the way I had, it became hard to trust people, and if you trusted anyone then you had to feel absolutely certain that they wouldn't hurt you in any way, because even the smallest of lies and deception could make you want to shrivel back up in the hole you came from. My friends were different, none of them have had an easy going life, and none of them have had the shit wrapped up in bubble wrap. We all had our individual problems with issues that no one else could understand, but just knowing that fact was what helped us to understand each other better than anyone else. If I didn't have my friends, I wouldn't like to think of where I might be.

"Tell me what you're thinking, please." I whispered to Emily who still hadn't said a word. She stopped rocking me slightly, but other than that she didn't move an inch.

"I don't know what to say." She replied quietly, her voice thick with emotion.

"Just tell me what you're thinking, that's all I want to know." I begged, wanting the silence to end.

"I wish I didn't happen. I wish we didn't go to that stupid party, I wish you didn't walk me home. But most of all I wish I didn't leave you to walk home by yourself." She said after a few minutes, her voice was strained and angry, she was blaming herself.

"Don't do that. We can't change what happened."

"I know. I can't help it. I'm sorry for what I done, Naoms. I made a huge fucking mistake and I want to make up for it, but you can't keep throwing it in my face." Her voice hardened again.

I sighed, I knew she was right. She didn't deserve to have it thrown at her whenever I got angry or upset; if I wanted to trust her again then I would have to try my best to forgive her, because if I didn't then we would never work. One thing I was certain of was that I wanted Emily in my life more than anything and I wanted us to have a future together, but to get to that point then I knew we would have to work together, which meant I had to tell Emily the truth.

"I don't trust you, not properly, but that doesn't mean I never will. I need some time, and I need us to work at this together…if you want to." I asked nervously. I tilted my head up to look at her, only to find that she was already looking down at me. A small smile pulled up on the corner of her lips and she leaned down slowly, brushing her lips against mine. My eyes fluttered closed, and her warm breath in my mouth made my heartbeat increase, and made tingling butterflies erupt in my stomach.

"I'll be here for as long as you want me." She whispered against my lips whilst she stroked her finger tips down my face.

"I'll always want you."

"Then I will always be here."

She pushed her lips fully against mine, and I responded eagerly. There was no rush or overpowering lust in the slow movements of our lips, but the passion flowed strongly between us. It wasn't an act of desire, just a sign of the love between us, a way of showing that we would work through the tough times together.

We pulled away after a few minutes and I resumed my earlier position by snuggling against Emily's chest. We cuddled in a comfortable silence but my body hadn't completely relaxed, my muscles were still tense from the haunting thoughts going through my mind, the memories of the worst day of my life. But now it was time to start again, I wasn't completely sure if I could do it, but with Emily by my side, I knew I could at least try. She was the reason why I couldn't move on, but now I had the chance to move on with her, and I couldn't let that go. Eventually I would have to fight and defeat my demons.

I began to drift of to sleep when I felt Emily slip her arm beneath my knees and lift me up, it still amazed me how someone so small could be so strong, but she had no problems carrying me into her bedroom and placing me back down onto the bed. She cuddled up against my back and kept her arms firmly around my waist. The safety I felt from being in her arms made me believe that she would keep the demons away, she would help me fight them off. I finally understood what everyone was getting at; the past couldn't just be ignored. There were many things that Emily needed to know to help our relationship work, like she needed to understand my sudden and random mood swings and she needed to know how to deal with me on my off days. She needed to prove to me that I could trust her, but I had to show her the ropes.

Before I finally drifted of to sleep, I realized that if we wanted our relationship to work, we had a lot of work to do.

**I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up, but I'll try to update as soon as I can. Please let me know what you think of this chapter, I'm not sure if I'm happy with it. I hope you all liked it though!**


	25. Chapter 25

Thank you for those of you who reviewed the last chapter. I know I've been gone for a long time but I'm trying to get these chapters up whenever I can, it's hard when you don't have the internet and I have a lot going on in my life at the moment. Anyway, this chapter isn't any happier than what the last one was, but I hope you guys enjoy it anyway.

Chapter 24

I left Emily's early in the morning when I was sure she was deeply asleep. Our talk last night had lifted a small weight from my shoulders but it had left me feeling worse than shit. I needed space to breathe and clear my head; I couldn't do that around Emily because she'd want to know why. Truth was I was a little scared about talking to her after what I revealed last night, I felt vulnerable and I wanted it to pass before I spoke to her. Vulnerability made me act and say stupid things and I didn't want us to have another argument. I knew it would upset Emily with me leaving but overall it was for the best.

It was barely light outside but it was already warm. I wandered aimlessly around town; no shops were open which meant there were literally no people. The silence was eerie but comforting. I sat down on a bench and lit a cigarette, only occasionally taking long drags whilst I stared at nothing in particular, allowing my mind to wander.

Emily now knew everything about my past. Was everything going to change or would it stay the same? Would we continue acting and fucking like our seventeen year old selves, or would Emily think I was too fragile to touch? I definitely did not want the latter but after last night, I no longer wanted the former either. I loved Emily more than anything and being with her again was great but I was scared that I was slipping back into my past. I wanted, and needed to know that I had something more with Emily than just sex but nothing more had been discussed, and foolishly I was too anxious about bringing it up in case I scared her off. She had said that she'd never leave me but did that really mean that she wanted all of the same things as me?

Three years ago I didn't like to think about the future unless it was about university and what path I was going to follow. I didn't ever think about my future _with_ someone, not even Emily, I was just convinced that we would be together for a long time. It's hard to plan the future because you don't know what might happen, anything can change. Everyday consists of something new and different just to prepare us for something bigger because one day, all the things we know and loved could be taken away in a heartbeat.

That happened to me and I had plenty more shit come afterwards. I had spent nearly my entire life fighting demons and I was still being plagued by them twenty years later. I was stronger in certain ways but I wanted some security so that I could stop fighting but I was scared that Emily couldn't offer me that safety. She was the only thing that could either make or break me. I never used to believe that there was only one person for everyone and I still didn't completely believe it. The only thing I did believe was that Emily was it for me and so I needed things to work out between us. I needed to know that I was it for her too.

I sighed and threw the butt of my cigarette to the ground. I dropped my head into my hands, I was sick of having these issues; I now understood what JJ meant when he said he wanted to be _"normal." _I'd give anything to feel normal.

"Naomi?"

I looked up at the sound of approaching footsteps. I didn't say anything to respond but I reluctantly shuffled over to the other side of the bench, giving him room to sit. We sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes, both unsure whether or not to say anything.

"What are you doing out here this early?" Keith asked eventually, breaking the silence.

"I could ask you the same question." I fired back.

"Our apprentice quit so I have to make sure the studio is ready." I looked up at him in surprise. I hadn't expected, and I couldn't understand why he was still being nice to me when I had done nothing but treat him like crap. It was infuriating, but admirable.

"I just needed to clear my head." I finally allowed myself to say.

"Is everything okay?" He asked, genuinely sounding concerned.

I forced a fake smile. "Everything's great."

Keith chuckled. "Who are you trying to convince, me or a deaf man?"

I furrowed my eyebrows in annoyance because I knew he was right. I was a good liar but even I had to admit that I didn't sound even close to convincing. I couldn't tell whether I was more annoyed at myself or at Keith for noticing.

"Probably the deaf man." I shrugged and a small smile pulled up on my lips. Keith returned it with one of his own. He looked tired, his eyes seemed dull compared to the other times I had seen them. His usually spiked hair was flat and messy like he hadn't bothered to brush it after he got out of bed, not that I could blame him. He wore a baggy black t-shirt with faded black jeans and white DC's. His scruffy appearance made him look both younger and older at the same time.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He offered, sounding somewhat nervous. Though with the way I had treated him before, it was understandable.

"Why are you doing this? I've done nothing but be a bitch to you." I questioned curiously.

"You're my daughter. It doesn't matter what you do or don't say to me, I'll always care about you." He replied, his voice was soft and his smile was gentle, warming.

His words made a familiar twinge shoot through my chest and I felt my throat tighten with emotion. He wasn't giving up, I had been a bitch to both him and Mum and had given him to opportunity to leave it, but he hadn't – he was still trying.

"What happened to you, Naomi? Why did your mum send you away?" He asked cautiously, careful not to overstep any mark I might have laid. I could feel his eyes searching my face, trying to find the answer in the wrong place.

"I went insane." I whispered, too afraid to speak any louder in case my voice gave me away. He was trying to care, and inevitably I was warming to his attempts.

"I wasn't right; I wasn't safe to be around. She did the right thing, she saved me."

I never realised how true the words were until I spoke them.

"You can talk to me, Naomi. I know I haven't been around but I'm here now, I'm not going anywhere this time." He took my hand in his, they were soft but calloused. They were warm and comforting.

Tears began to well up in my eyes but I quickly blinked them away. The past feelings of longing had returned and I couldn't stop them now. I wasn't sure if I wanted to. I turned to him.

"Mum doesn't know."

He looked surprised by my honesty, and a little shocked that I hadn't turned him away like all of the times before. But he squeezed my hand and gave me a slight smile.

"Do you want to tell her?"

"It isn't that easy." I whispered painfully.

My heart was aching. I was physically, mentally and emotionally drained. All I wanted to do was curl up and cry, to hide from the world again. Talking about the things that had ruined my life made the wounds so fresh and sore.

"Well, what's holding you back?" He pushed, probing for an answer.

The pain – the pain was what was holding me back. The memories I tried to bury that still scarred my mind. Talking about it made it real again. But this was the final stage, the final step. After telling Mum, I wouldn't ever have to speak about it again.

How could I tell her something like this, though?

"It'll break her heart." I finally admitted, causing my heart to only ache more as I realised it.

"It'll only hurt her worse if you don't, and by the looks of it, it's breaking your heart by not telling her."

That was all it took for me to start crying. I tried to bury my face but there was no point, the look on Keith's face showed that he had already seen. I pulled my hand from his and dug them into my pockets, retrieving my cigarettes. I lit one quickly and desperately.

"She has absolutely no clue." I barely managed to choke out through the tears. "One minute I was a normal child, and the next, I was trying to stab her ex boyfriend."

Keith chuckled at this but his expression darkened. "I don't blame you for trying that."

I managed to laugh slightly and elbowed his side. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and gave me a gentle squeeze. I couldn't help but smile at the gesture.

"You need to tell her." He spoke again after a moment of silence. As hard as it was going to be, I knew he was right. I finally nodded and Keith pulled me to my feet.

"What about the studio?" I suddenly remembered. "I thought you had to get it set up?"

Keith only smiled at me. "Fuck the studio. I've finally got you back; I'm not going to turn you away now when you need me."

His honesty warmed my heart a little. My whole life I had been waiting to hear my father speak something similar, it was beautiful and scary to finally have it happen.

"Be prepared for what I have to say, Keith. You're not going to like it." I said firmly, staring him in the eye for any sign of hesitation.

His eyes showed nothing but concern. I was taken aback by how much warmth and care he was showing towards me. I couldn't deny that this man loved me; he loved me like a father should love his daughter. The love I had been longing for my entire life.

"You don't need to protect me, Naomi. I don't deserve that, not when I should have been here to protect you."

All I could do was nod. I couldn't deny it because we both knew it was the truth, but I couldn't bring myself to agree aloud and put him down, especially when he was trying so hard to make things right.

We walked together in silence, one that was neither comfortable nor awkward. I couldn't think of anything to say to him when my mind was trying to shut down, trying to prevent it from having to think about the upcoming event.

I felt sick to the pit of my stomach. Mum was the one who I feared to tell the most, even above Emily. Telling Emily was hard enough, this was going to be impossible. There was only one way I knew that could help me begin to explain this fucked up situation.

"I need to get my guitar first."

* * *

"Naomi, what's going on?"

Gina instantly sensed that there was something wrong from the moment she opened the door to us. Confusion was evident in her voice but I could see the worry in her eyes. I couldn't bear to look her in the eyes for any longer than a second before the guilt and pain began to surface. Of course, she noticed this.

"Is this about yesterday?"

_If only it was._ I could only shake my head; my throat was too dry to form words. I had no idea how I was going to manage to sing. I wasn't sure if I could even do this.

"Give her a minute love. Why don't you put the kettle on?" Keith jumped in quickly, noticing how hard I was struggling with this.

Mum looked between us, I was pretty sure I saw a smile playing at the corners of her lips. I was glad when she didn't question it, and turned into the kitchen instead. I sunk into the chair and slowly picked up my guitar, setting it on top of my legs. My body was shaking uncontrollably, I couldn't hold it properly. Keith lit a cigarette and handed it to me, I smiled weakly in return. He knelt down in front of me and placed his hands on my knees.

"You can do this." He murmured, trying to give me the strength to carry on. I finally had my father's support, after all of these years.

I pulled in deep drags from my cigarette even as it made my head rush and I felt sick, I needed it. I stubbed the butt out into the ashtray and proceeded to tune my guitar, I was lucky to be able to tune it by ear. At first my fingers couldn't hold the strings until I heard the gentle hum of vibration, and I knew that I had to do this.

We remained in silence even as Mum re-entered the living room bearing three cups of tea. Her complexion had paled, she looked exhausted again. Seeing her like this broke my heart all over again, and this was only going to make her feel worse.

Keith had directed Mum to the sofa where they watched me. Although suspicious, nothing could prepare them for what they were about to learn. How was anyone supposed to be prepared for something like this?

I swallowed the bile that had risen into my throat and quickly gulped down the scolding, sweet liquid. I barely felt it burn my throat, in fact it felt nice. I took a deep breath and held my guitar tightly, as though I was trying to seek some form of comfort from the wood.

This was it. There was no going back now.

"Mum, do you remember when this all started, that day when you found me in the shower?"

I didn't need to go into detail; I knew she'd remember that day above any other. The grimace that crossed her features proved that.

Her eyebrows furrowed into a frown. "I couldn't forget it if I tried."

I nodded in agreement; my heart was crashing against my ribs.

"I lied to you that day…I've been lying to you ever since." I finally admitted. After three years, I had told her part of the truth.

I could tell that Mum was torn between understanding what was happening, and scolding me for lying to her. It nearly made me smile that even at twenty years old; she didn't like me lying to her. However, I couldn't smile because I was about to watch this woman break at the hands of my words.

I sat up straight and adjusted my fingers on the threat board.

"I wrote this song when I was in Cornwall, after I nearly killed myself. My head wasn't right, I still wanted to die. I couldn't bear it anymore, and this is the only way I can explain it to you."

I began to strum the plectrum across the strings in a slow rhythm before they had the chance to reply. The melody was dull and ominous, depressing for the state of mind I was once in. The lyrics instantly sprung to my mind, a long with all of the thoughts and feeling from when I first wrote it.

_You've stripped me down, the layers fall like rain.  
It's over now; just innocence and instinct still remain.  
You watched me while I slowly disappeared.  
I reached for you to save me; you were frozen in your fear._

_Take it all away, take it all away.  
__Take it all away, take it all away._

_Circling the pain inside my soul,  
__I reached inside your silence to steal what you won't show.  
__I tried to find the answers in my fears,_

_But what I found is lost again as soon as it appeared._

_Take it all away, take it all away._  
_Take it all away, take it all away._

_I'm breaking; I can't do this on my own.  
__Can you hear me screaming out, am I all alone?_

_You take away, you take away._  
_You take away, you take away._

_You take away, you take away._

I was breathing heavily whilst the tears streamed down my cheeks, on the verge of breaking down as the song came to an end. I looked up to Mum, she was openly sobbing into her hands, and Keith also looked like he was about to cry. His eyes were fixed on me like he was trying to figure me out.

I placed my guitar on the ground, lit another cigarette and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. This was the time.

"Three years ago, I was raped…."

* * *

So what do you guys think, was this any good or did it suck? My writing is lagging at the moment because I haven't written in quite a while so I hope its okay. The song is Take it all away – RED. Check them out.

Please review and let me know what you think, I'll try and update soon.


	26. Chapter 26

Sorry for being away for so long. I've had a lot going on, I have no internet and my laptop keeps breaking. But I have every intention of finishing this story, just bear with me.

I haven't had the time to proof read this so I'm really sorry for any mistakes, they are all my own and unintentional!

This chapter explains a lot. I might not be happy with it but it's necessary.

Enjoy!

* * *

The negative energy coursing through the room felt like a black cloud hovering over my head. Depression, fear, anger and insecurity overcome me just like it always does whenever I spoke of that night. Talking about it made it real again, it reminded me that it actually happened and it wasn't just some god awful nightmare. I don't think I could ever get used to that feeling.

The worst part was seeing your loved ones reactions, the way their eyebrows pulled together in a disbelieving frown, and their eyes widened in a mixture of shock, sympathy and unnecessary guilt. Everyone reacted in the same way, they all believed that in some parallel universe that they could have stopped it, and that hurt me more than the reality. That's why I could have screamed at Mum when she broke down into tears and repeatedly said things like "I should have protected you." "I'm a terrible mother." Oh, and my personal favourite, "it should have been me, not you."

I threw down my guitar, knelt in front of her sobbing frame and gripped her shoulders.

"Don't you dare," I growled, forcing her to look up at me with puffy red eyes. "Don't you dare say that to me, not after what I've been through. I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy."

"Naomi…" Keith began, but I cut him off with a glare. Seeing their dull, puffy eyes made me feel bad for snapping but I needed them to understand.

"Everyone has said this to me but there is nothing that any of you could have done. And knowing what I know, I'd rather die than let anyone go through that." I said firmly, fixing them both with a hard look to let them know that I was serious, and I would not accept anymore talk like that.

I pushed myself back onto my feet and grabbed a cigarette from the box, whilst holding a glass of whisky in the other. I needed anything that would help me get through this.

"I'm trying to get through this, I've been fighting non stop for the past three years to try and cope with this and I'm not. I'm still scared to even look behind me in case I see him; I still have nightmares about him. Even to this day, sometimes I feel like I'd rather die than have to think about what he did to me."

My throat burned with unhealed emotions that I was trying to hold back, but I couldn't stop the tears from falling from my eyes. For once, I allowed them to fall; I allowed my weaknesses to show through my hard exterior. I knocked back the whisky without cringing and stubbed out my cigarette, only to light another straight after.

"But then I remind myself that I can't die, I can't end this all just because of him, because that means he won. I can't allow him to win, because I'm better than he is. He's shallow and pathetic, and he's the one who should want to die right now.

But no matter how often I remind myself of this, it doesn't make it any easier but it's the only thing that keeps me going. I've wasted so much of my life because of him and I don't want to be like this anymore. I want to be happy."

I wiped my face and sighed into my hands. My head was spinning and my heart pounded viciously. I was finally admitting my true feelings to someone other than a therapist, and I wasn't sure whether the whisky was helping but it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.

"I can't imagine how you both must feel to have to hear me say this, but nothing you can say will change what happened. You have to understand that this isn't easy for me either, it never has been. You need time to overcome the shock, I know, but eventually I need you to be strong for me. I can't do this by myself anymore, I've tried and it nearly killed me.

I want to get better, I can't carry on living in fear and that's why I'm finally telling you this. Keeping this dirty little secret from everyone has just been an unbearable weight on my shoulders, and I can't carry it anymore."

I collapsed in the chair, exhausted from the multitude of emotions surging through me. I didn't know whether I felt better or worse, or whether I wanted to scream or break down.

I was tired. So much bullshit had happened and I was trapped in the middle of it from the get goes, and I just wanted to be free from it all. I wanted to be around the people who meant everything to me without the constant overload of problems. I just wanted to be happy, it wasn't like I was asking for some sort of miracle, all I wanted was to start living my life, and to feel safe again.

I looked up at my teary eyed parents; I hated putting them through this. I couldn't keep the secrets anymore; they deserved to know the truth.

Mum wiped her face and sniffled. "I never should have sent you away. I didn't know what else to do; I wanted to get you as far away from Ian as possible. He scared me, and I was scared of what he might do to you."

Keith looked at her with a weak smile and encased her hand with his, holding it gently. I couldn't help but smile at the sight.

"I might have hated it at the time but it was the best thing you could have done for me. I needed to get away to help…. Wait, what do you mean Ian scared you?" My mind blanked in confusion as Mum's words finally sunk in. I frowned at the nervous looking couple. It couldn't be possible.

Mum shifted uncomfortably. "Ian, well… He didn't have the nicest of tempers. He… could get a little rough sometimes."

My eyes widened in shock. My muscles tensed in anger. I could feel my body trembling with rage. What the fuck?! So what I thought was Mum's way of trying to defend Ian, was actually a desperate attempt to try and protect me from something that was happening from behind closed doors. I felt sick to the stomach from anger and guilt.

"It only happened a few times, but after you left, he got worse. I was scared at first, and then I remembered that I was only making it worse for myself. So I got rid of him, and told the fucker that if he tried to come near me again that I would get a restraining order. He already had a record for violence, I don't think he wanted to risk it so luckily that scared the tosser away."

To say I was shocked would have been an understatement. Shocked, angry, guilty and proud, proud because I forgot how strong Mum could be at times. She never let anyone fuck with her, and I was fucking glad for that.

I nodded slowly. "I never liked the prick. I'd punch the crap out of him right now if I had the chance."

"I agree." Keith grumbled after sitting in silence since the conversation started. We shared a mutual smile.

Mum stood from her seat and moved to kneel in front of me. She looked up at me, her eyes were puffy and filled with sorrow as more tears begun to rise. She pulled me into a tight hug and cradled me in her arms. I buried my head against her shoulder and inhaled her comforting and familiar scent – instantly making me feel safe, just as it always did when I was a child – but it brought on more tears, and we clung to each other as we sobbed.

"I'm so sorry baby. I should have looked after you, I didn't know what else to do or what was wrong." She whispered as she stroked my hair softly. I sniffled and shook my head, too upset and drained to tell her that it wasn't her fault.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, but after a while Keith joined in, holding us both and sniffling quietly. It was weird how easily but perfectly we felt like a family, something that I had always longed for. I didn't realise that it could feel so lovely.

I had been fighting it for so long and I couldn't anymore. I wanted my dad, needed him in my life. It was time for me to try and move on; I finally had everyone I could possibly want around me. This is what I needed to help me get through the nightmare in my head.

And so we talked for the rest of the night, about that night, Ian, Cornwall, how Mum and Keith got back together, and everything. It was nice, relieving. A weight had been lifted from my shoulders and I no longer felt as trapped as I did before. Nothing was perfect, I still had a lot of work to do but this was a start. I needed to get my life back on track, there was still so much I had to sort out, but for once I finally felt that maybe I could get there. I wasn't alone anymore, I no longer had to run and hide.

I could just be myself again, even if it was a broken, messed up version of the girl I used to be.

* * *

Please read and review. I love each and every one of your thoughts and opinions! Sorry it's been so long!


	27. Chapter 27

Finally, I have written a new chapter. I know that it's been ages and I'm taking a really long time, and I can honestly say that I'm really sorry to all of you who are waiting for me to finish this story. I promise that I am going to; it's just going to take some time. Me and my girlfriend have recently broken up, and I'm trying to get through by putting myself right back into my writing. I'm sure most of you can understand this. I'm really grateful to any of you who are still reading this story after so long, it means the world to me and I will try to not take as long to upload the next chapter but I can't promise anything.

Anyway, I hope that you all enjoy this. Sorry there's no Emily again but she will be in the next chapter and it will be worth it. So let me know what you all think and drop me a review! Thank you!

* * *

Chapter 26

After that night three years ago, I hadn't had a peaceful night's sleep since. I was always restless, battling against insomnia and the nightmares that haunted me. Sometimes I would give up altogether, it was easier to stay awake for days than it was to try and sleep.

I missed sleep; I missed the dreams that would entertain you throughout the night. I missed waking up feeling refreshed, ready to face the world ahead. After so long, the thought of a good night's sleep seemed like some beautiful, teasing myth to me.

But after last night, after spilling my heart out to my parents, revealing my secrets and fears and releasing the monsters that tormented me to run free, I fell into a nightmare free slumber. It was so surreal that it was almost terrifying, waking up didn't feel real. I awoke peacefully without my body scrunched up in fear and covered by a cold sweat; it felt like it was all a part of some wonderful dream.

I stretched out and groaned, relishing the feeling as my bones cracked and my muscles quivered. I wanted to stay tangled up in the warm sheets forever, it literally felt like this was the first time I had slept in over three years.

Unfortunately I knew it wouldn't be as simple as this to try and move on, but it was a start.

The next thing I had to do was fix my relationship with Emily. There was a chance I had already fucked things beyond repair, the anger in the texts that she had sent to me showed that she wouldn't forgive me easily. Not that I could blame her, I had walked out on her, leaving her in my bed once again. I had handled the situation in the only way that I knew how - by running away.

Everything had been handled wrongly right from the beginning. I was so overwhelmed by seeing her again – so excited – that I had once again been blinded by love. I didn't give myself the time to remember the pain she caused me, and the anger and distrust I felt towards her for what she had done. And I had forgotten to remind myself that I was damaged goods that couldn't be fixed so easily.

I knew I had to understand the pain from her perspective, but she also needed to understand mine. She needed to realise exactly what she would be getting herself into. Our relationship wouldn't be at all easy. It was fun to live in our fantasy world for a while but we needed to be realistic if this was going to work. I wasn't the girl she used to know.

I wanted to reply to her texts just so that I could reassure the poor girl, but I couldn't find the right words to say. There was far too much to explain, too much to say, too many emotions that needed to be seen and felt. She deserved much more than a text message and I believed that actions spoke louder than words.

I threw myself out of bed, grabbing everything that I knew I would need. I didn't bother showering; I would do that once I got back to Effy's. I crept downstairs only to realise that Gina and Keith were still in bed, so I left them a note to explain. At least that way they wouldn't think I was just running out on them. With that, I quietly left the house and rushed to Effy's as quickly as I could. It was still early, the sun hadn't long been up but the morning breeze was beautifully refreshing and it wiped away any remaining tiredness.

It took about twenty minutes to finally get home but the moment I closed the door behind me and turned around, I came face to face with an infuriated looking Effy.

"Where the fuck have you been?" She growled. Her arms were crossed over her chest and her eyes pierced straight through me. Through her body language, she looked calm, but I knew she was about to tear me a new one and I was in no mood for it.

"Hello to you, too." I replied bluntly, trying to quickly slip past her but she pushed me back.

"Don't even try it." She narrowed her eyes and I held my hands up in defence.

"Okay, Effy, relax. What's going on?"

Effy clenched her jaw and shot me a look that made me wish I was six feet under. I had never seen her look so pissed off at me before.

"Didn't it pass through your thick head at all how worried we'd be about you?" She snarled, catching me by surprise.

"I…I was with my parents, I told them everything…"

"Oh how fucking dandy," she spat sarcastically. "Have you never heard of a text?"

I pursed my lips in anger. "Fuck off, Effy. You know this is a big deal for me. Jesus, what the hell has crawled up your ass recently?"

I shoved passed the pissed off girl towards the stairs but she followed me like a bad smell and grabbed my arm to stop me from going any further. I forcefully pulled my arm out of her grip and stepped back.

"How could you disappear and not have the decency to let any of us know? We were worried, anything could have happened to you! And how could you do that to Emily? She was hysterical when she turned up here yesterday! And for your information, my ass is fine!"

I felt a wave of guilt wash over me, but the way that Effy was reacting had pissed me off too much for me to dwell on it.

"Since when were you Emily's number one fucking fan? And I'm an adult, I can look after myself!"

"Oh yeah, but that didn't make much of a difference last time, did it?"

I knew she regretted it from the moment the words passed her lips. Her eyes instantly widened in realisation, but all I saw was red. I couldn't even bring myself to respond, my jaw was clenched in blinding anger so that I could not even open it. I glared at her with my fists clenched by my sides. She tried to approach me but I just shook my head, glowering at her in disgust before I turned and sprinted up the stairs.

I punched the door on the way in, denting it and splitting my knuckle open at the same time. It stung like hell but I didn't care. I was trembling with anger. Whether she was my best friend or not, Effy was out of fucking order and I had never known her to act in such a way. I dove onto the bed; my body was trembling in anger as tears pricked my eyes. I pulled my fags out of the back of my jeans, lighting one quickly and desperately. My heart ached from her words. I never expected Effy of all people to turn around and say something that would obviously hurt me deeply. Not now, not ever. I might have acted a little irrationally but that did not excuse her from her actions, no matter whether or not she was concerned for me. She knew exactly how it would affect me, especially when I had come this far.

I stubbed out the fag and wrapped my arms around myself, resting my chin upon my knee. I never wanted to fight with anyone, especially not Effy. They weren't just my friends, they were my family. They had helped me through everything, been my guidance and my support. I couldn't have gotten through anything without them, and I still couldn't now.

I slowly picked myself up and made my way into the bathroom. A shower was what I needed.

Or so I thought. Instead, I ended up sitting on the cubicle floor with the water pouring onto me, completely lost in my thoughts. I was supposed to be making everything better, but I was just fucking it up instead. My positivity never lasted long enough. A part of me began to wonder if it had really been such a good idea to come back after all. Despite all that had happened the first few nights, it seemed so good at first, now it just seemed like I was hurting everyone that I loved, and getting hurt in return.

I had had these thoughts before. Was it really such a good idea to be around the constant reminders of what happened, and what I lost? I was a fragile, unstable person, the burden that all of my friends had to worry about and watch over. It was unfair on them to have to deal with me considering how temperamental I could be.

A multitude of thoughts begun to rise into my mind until the sound of the bathroom door opening pulled me away from them.

"Naomi?" I heard Effy's careful voice from over the sound of the shower. I sighed into my folded arms.

"Go away." I grumbled.

I heard her sigh, followed by silence. For a moment, I believed that she had actually listened to me, which was until the shower door opened and in came Effy – fully clothed – standing straight into the spray of water and joining me on the floor. I stared at her as if she was fucking crazy because, well, she was. She wrapped her arm around my shoulders and pulled me into her side. My anger seemed to dissipate as I nestled my face into her curly brown hair.

We sat for a while in silence; the tapping of the water was the only sound that surrounded us. I could tell that she was holding back, either too scared or unsure of how to bring up a conversation after what had just happened. I didn't push her either; I knew she would speak when she was ready. Sometimes silence could speak volumes.

"You know I didn't mean it." Effy said finally.

I nodded against her hair. "I know."

"I don't like worrying about you, but after everything, I can't do anything else. You should have text us."

"I know. I…was just so overwhelmed by everything. Being with Emily scares the crap out of me, and keeping that secret from Mum was eating me alive. I knew I needed to tell her, I couldn't keep it in anymore. It's all I could think about."

"How do you feel?"

"I do. It's like this weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I don't have to keep worrying about keeping secrets anymore; I can just focus on sorting my life out now. I'm tired of it, Eff, the secrets, the fear, and the nightmares. I just want to be normal again."

I felt her look down at me. "You used to be normal?" she teased. I cracked a smile as I elbowed her side playfully.

"Shut up, as if you can talk." I chuckled and wiped the water from my face before looking at my best friend, taking in her fragile appearance.

"What about you, Eff? You haven't seemed like yourself recently."

Effy's smile faltered but her beautiful blue eyes stared into mine without any hesitation, almost as though she was trying to reveal her deepest secrets without uttering a single word. I was no mind reader but I knew Effy better than I knew myself. Something was happening that she was too scared to accept for fear of getting hurt. She was too scared to say it out loud, her eyes were begging me to figure it out, but I couldn't. I could make a list of possibilities and assumptions but that would get us nowhere.

"I'm not going to judge you; you know you can tell me anything." I assured her gently, pulling the fragile girl into a hug.

She remained silent and motionless in my arms, and that was how I knew this was serious. A few years ago, I wouldn't have batted an eyelid at her current behaviour, but that was the old Effy. Although she still had the mysterious ways about her, she had grown and changed a lot since then. She allowed herself to be happy, and she opened herself up to the people that she loved.

To anyone on the outside, they probably thought that she was nonchalant or possibly dead inside. I used to think the same sometimes, even act the same but now I knew better. Effy had always been there for me in a way that nobody else could because we worked the same. I could read her emotions like I could feel them myself, but I was no mind reader. I just had to coax her into telling me.

"I think you're the only person who I can't stay mad at, even though you know and have the power to hurt me. It's always been that way since I met you at college. I know how to read you, Eff but I don't know what's going on with you. I want to help you like you've always helped me, but I need you to tell me." I gave her a squeeze for comfort. She had my love and support, I just had to wait. It would only be a matter of time before she told me, and it came faster than I expected as she suddenly blurted the revelation.

"I'm pregnant."

Even though I had expected it before, hearing it out loud still shocked me. Mostly because I never thought I would see Effy look so broken up over something like that. I pulled her closer and cradled her body within my arms, brushing my fingers through her wet hair. She wasn't crying but I could feel the way her body ached from all of the built up tension.

"Have you told Freddie?" I asked softly.

"No." She mumbled bluntly. "I don't know how."

"How do you feel about it, do you want this baby?" It wasn't the nicest thing to ask but I had to do it, my thoughts instantly went to Freddie but I needed to put Effy first. She was carrying a child inside of her; I couldn't even begin to imagine how she must be feeling.

"I do, I really do. But what if he doesn't?"

I pulled back and slipped my fingers under her chin, lifting her face up to look at me and gave her a gentle, reassuring smile.

"You need to tell him, but leave it until you're ready. He is a part of this too; he deserves to know the truth. You know Freddie, he loves you more than anything, he'll be ecstatic, and I know it."

She didn't look so assured but she nodded anyway, I just hoped that she would listen and wouldn't run away like she would have before. But that was why I was here, and that was why I also needed to stop thinking about myself. She needed me here just as much as I needed her.

"You'll be okay, I promise. You'll be a great mum."

She chuckled and pulled away from me, brushing her hair away from her face before she looked at me and grabbed my hand.

"I'm glad you're here." I smiled at the sincerity in her voice, warming my heart and made me remember exactly why I didn't argue with Effy.

She left after that, leaving me to quickly finish showering. I felt relieved and refreshed. It was nice to know that there wasn't a serious problem between me and Effy, I wasn't about to lose my best friend. It was understandable that the pressure got too much for the both of us so that we ended up taking it out on each other, that's what we were like. We tried to avoid our problems for as long as possible until they blew up in our face. At least we had that understanding there before anything got taken too far out of hand.

* * *

I stood in my bedroom in nothing but a purple bra and matching hot pants. I was staring at my open drawers, wondering what the hell I should wear to face Emily. I pulled out item after item of clothing, looking at them before throwing them on the floor. I felt like a teenager about to go on my first date. Eventually I gave up and collapsed on the bed, raking my fingers through my wet hair and sighing in frustration. Instead, I lit a fag and grabbed my notepad, twiddling the pen between my fingers.

There were so many things that I wanted to say but I didn't know how to put them all into the right words without sounding like a complete and utter idiot. A few things came to find that I quickly wrote down eagerly, only to reread them and quickly scribble them out. I had to focus, I had to let the right words come to me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, stopping myself from thinking, only allowing myself to feel. Then I began to write.

_I could close my eyes and pray,_

_But I'd never find the right words to say to you._

_We've fought this war,_

_We wear these scars like medals._

_But I'm not proud of this destruction I've caused._

_I'd give it all up,_

_Give it away, just for those right words._

I threw the notepad to the side and grabbed my clothes from the floor, folding them and placing them back in the drawers. I pulled on black skinny jeans, a tight fitted white printed vest top with a dark grey, sleeveless denim jacket.

_Nothing I can say can change your mind._

_The hands have turned, the lessons learned._

_You were gone before I could say goodbye._

I slipped a black wrist band onto my wrist with a couple of leather bands on the other. I dried my hair and straightened it, then tied it up before tying a black bandana over the top, keeping my fringe and the sides out.

_So long, and I'll miss you._

_I'd stop and hit rewind,_

_Erase these haunted memories,_

_If I could take it all away._

I put on my black converse before I grabbed my acoustic guitar and sat on the end of the bed. I slowly started strumming out a soft melody that had been stuck in my head for ages, one that I had thought of a long time ago. Finally, I had found something that I could finally put to this tune that always made my heart ache. Everything just came to me, all the lyrics, all the right chords.

_I lost this fight long ago._

_I'm holding onto shattered pieces of a life we used to know._

_There's nothing left to see,_

_Only an empty heart from faded memories._

I played for hours, practising over and over. I put the song into place, and I sung my heart out, not caring who could hear me. I felt alive, this was my life, and it was my joy and passion. This was the first thing I had officially written completely by myself and I was about to perform it to the love of my life, the woman who meant more to me than anything else. This was the only way I could explain, it was the only way that I could hopefully make her understand. I just hoped that she'd listen long enough to hear the meaning behind these words, as long as it wasn't too late for us. But I was prepared to fight now, I wanted to give this my all, I wanted to give Emily everything that I had.

Finally, when I felt that I was ready, I put the guitar down and grabbed my phone, opening a new text message that would start everything.

_Baby, there's a million things I want to say,_

_But for tonight, can we pretend that we're okay?_

_Maybe we've had our time,_

_But I'm not finished holding your heart in mine._

'Emily, I need to see you.'

* * *

I apologise for any mistakes, I'm just too tired to proof read and I need to get up for work. I hope its okay though. This is where things begin to change, and the next few chapters will definitely be worth reading so make sure you stay aware for the next update. I'll try and not take so long. I've made a new tumblr where I will talk about my writing and anything Skins related pretty much, so if you fancy following me then private message me and I'll send you the link. It's a bit shit at the moment because I've only just made it but I will make it better soon.

Please review and tell me what you think!


	28. Chapter 28

Two chapters within a couple of days? I hope you guys love this right now; I'm trying so hard to get everything written down. It helps that I've got a lot of time right now and nothing to distract me. I will try to get the next chapter done soon, I just need to think of how it's going to go. Any ideas of what you guys would like to see happen would be much appreciated, so leave me a review and let me know what you think!

I don't own Skins, sadly.

Chapter 27

"_Emily, I need to see you."_

"Well I don't want to see you right now, or even talk to you. Just leave me alone."

I wasn't surprised by Emily's response but it didn't stop it from being hurtful to read. I could imagine her voice in my head, saying those exact words. I could even see the way that her chocolate brown eyes would flare with anger, with an even deeper sadness behind them. I had seen that pain plenty of times before, and I was usually the reason as to why it was there, could remember knowing how I had disappointed her so.

But that wasn't going to be the case this time, I refused to allow her to be disappointed in me anymore, so I wasn't about to give up. I had to disrespect her wishes.

"We need to talk, whether you want to or not x"

"I'm having dinner with my family, so no."

A smile crept upon my face. I had forgotten that Emily had dinner at her parent's house every other Sunday, and she was careless for reminding me. She obviously thought that I didn't have the balls to turn up with Jenna Fitch around, but she was wrong. I could handle Jenna with no problem, I could even handle her with Katie added on top as long as I knew it would get me to Emily. I had fought my way through them once before to win Emily's heart, I could do it again.

I slipped my phone into my pocket and grabbed my guitar, which I had already zipped up in its case. I raced downstairs, not bothering to take a jacket as it was warm enough without one. Once I reached the bottom step, I slung the case over my shoulder so that it rested against my back. Then I went to find Effy, and told her everything that I had planned, and everything that had me worried about us. I needed some advice about how I was feeling, and nobody could give me advice like my best friend.

"I just feel weird about it. The other day it felt like we were seventeen again and a part of me is worried that our relationship is never going to grow up. There are so many vital parts of a relationship that we've shared but we've also missed so much. What if we can't work past that?" I asked nervously, playing with my fingers to try and distract myself.

"Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?" Effy asked her tone completely serious.

I nodded. "Yeah…to a certain respect."

"Well sometimes if you look at life through a different perspective, things can actually make sense. Maybe everything that happened to you in the past happened for a reason."

I scoffed at the idea. "And what the hell kind of a reason could justify what happened to me?"

Effy smiled gently and took my hands in hers. "What happened to you was unreal and nobody in this world deserves to go through something so horrible, you fell apart, you were a psychotic wreck but you made a decision that not many people could bear to make, and it was the move that changed you. You still have some of your old traits but overall you're a different person. The fact is, as soon as a problem occurred, you and Emily fell to pieces. Maybe it all happened to cut the ties between you so that you could both grow within the time apart, and make you appreciate what you had and what you lost. If none of this had happened and you stayed together, your relationship could have taken an even worse turn because underneath it all, neither of you were ready. You might feel that you and Emily are supposed to be together, but if the timings not right then it won't work. If you are supposed to be together then you'll find each other, and now that you have, you both have to work to make it work. Nothing's going to just magically fix itself. They can show you the clues but not even destiny can put the pieces into place, that's your job."

I was stunned into silence by Effy's speech, realising everything that she said made perfect sense to me. I shook my head in amazement. "Did you read that from somewhere? Because I know you're like fucking opera sometimes but that was something completely different."

Effy smirked. "I'm seeing life a little differently myself now." But the smirk soon fell and was replaced by sadness. "I just don't know how to tell Freddie."

"Eff, remember what I told you the other day. Freddie fell in love the moment he laid eyes on you, and sure, your relationship was a little dysfunctional at first but you worked through it. After everything that you've both been through especially with your families, you should both be ecstatic about starting your own. This is yours and Freddie's child; you can give them everything that you two never had."

"I know. But what if we end up like my parents?" I gave her hands a squeeze and shot her a reassuring smile.

"You guys have come this far and you're still in love. You've only got further to go. When you tell Freddie, I know he'll be over the moon. And I know that you two will be the best fucking parents out there."

We sat in silence for a while, thinking over the things that had been said and the advice we had received from each other. I had never felt prouder of Effy than I did in this moment; she had come just as far as I had.

"Look at us Campbell. We've turned soft." Effy chuckled after a while.

I burst out laughing, agreeing with her completely. "Yeah, I used to think that being soft would make me weak but actually, it makes me feel like a better person."

Effy nodded. "I know what you mean. I always thought I could get through life being the way I was before, but living like that made me feel so lonely. I was so scared of love, scared of happiness, especially when I had seen that those things only eventually destroyed you. I never thought I'd be where I am right now."

I couldn't help but smile at her words. "We've always been so alike Eff, and I don't think that will ever change. Our old life style would have driven us into the ground; we would have lived with nothing but sorrow and emptiness."

"And a lot of vodka." She added, causing us both to giggle. I pulled my best friend into a hug and held her tightly.

"We've all come a long way but we're better like this." I whispered into her ear and she nodded against me.

I felt a lot better as I stood up and said goodbye to Effy, wishing each other good luck for what we were about to face. Sometimes all you really needed was a talk with your best friend to put everything into perspective. All I hoped was that everything would go well for the both of us.

Next, I needed to find Ryan; I was going to ask him if I could borrow his van. It was quite a walk to Emily's parent's house from here and I didn't want to have to wait around for a bus. I went up to his bedroom but he wasn't there, nor was he in the bathroom or in any of the other rooms. I pulled out my phone as I made my way back down the stairs and that's when I saw him exit the living room, dressed in a crisp white shirt and slim fitted dark blue jeans with his hair in a neat ponytail. I raised my eyebrows in shock and burst out laughing.

"I don't think I've ever seen you look so smart even in this whole time I've known you. Katie definitely has you wrapped around her little finger." I giggled at my friend, who responded with a smirk and flip of his finger.

"Fuck off. She's making me have dinner with her family." He explained as he slipped a black v-neck jumper over his head and straightening the collar of his shirt.

Bingo. My grin grew wider.

"She must like you then, I don't think Katie's ever kept a boyfriend around long enough to even meet her parent's." I teased playfully, but what I meant as a harmless joke put a worried expression across the boy's face.

"Really?" He asked nervously.

"Ryan, relax. That was the Katie I used to know, she's grown up a lot within these past few years." I smiled reassuringly, watching as he visibly relaxed.

"That's good. Where were you yesterday anyway? You had us worried." He asked. I was wondering if he would.

"I went to my mum's. I finally told her the truth."

Ryan quickly looked up, surprise written all over his face. "Shit."

He stepped forward and pulled me into a hug. I hugged him back and breathed in the scent of his aftershave, it was one of the few that didn't send me into frenzy. In fact, I found it oddly comforting now.

"It's okay, I feel a lot better for it now." I said as we both stepped back, smiling.

Ryan rubbed my arms affectionately. "I'm bloody proud of you, Naomi."

His words warmed my heart and I couldn't help but smile up at him. It was a nice feeling, knowing that my friends believed in me enough to be proud of me when I managed to do something that was important to me.

"Anyway, I better get going." Ryan said as he put on his leather jacket. "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, but I was actually going to ask if you'd mind giving me a lift…to see Emily." Ryan stopped and furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at me.

"Is that really a good idea? Katie told me what happened, Emily's quite upset."

"I know, but I didn't mean to hurt her, Ryan. I needed time to think and now I've got to explain. It's why I've got this." I lifted the guitar case so that he could see.

His eyes flicked between us and he looked uncertain at first but he eventually nodded his head in agreement.

"Okay, I've got your back. Emily's made mistakes too, she has to remember that." He gave my shoulder a squeeze. I was grateful for his support.

We left shortly after that but we made a quick stop so that Ryan could buy Katie a bouquet of flowers. I wanted to buy some for Emily but I thought that it would perhaps push my luck a little. I was treading on thin ice, after all. I didn't want to go and make her even more uncomfortable by feeling that she had to accept something like that from me.

It didn't take long to get there by driving, but the nerves that were eating away at my stomach made it feel like hours. I clung to my guitar, hoping that somehow it could take this horrible feeling away but it couldn't, especially considering that this was going to help me with this mission.

Ryan parked the van and I quickly jumped out, hiding around the side so that nobody could see me through the window. I was crapping myself, I felt sick to the stomach with nerves, wondering how Emily would react to me and the song that I had prepared, scared of being rejected and hurt again. But I had to have faith, I knew Emily wasn't like that and it was understandable as to why she was upset with me at the moment. But we had been through a lot, and we had come this far so I knew that it wasn't a lost cause. She told me that she wasn't going anywhere now that she had me back and I believed her.

Ryan joined me at the side and lit a cigarette, handing me one which I gratefully accepted and sparked up. We stood in silence, quickly smoking our fags before we had to make an appearance. Ryan chucked his on the ground and turned to me.

"How do I look?" He grinned in amusement.

"Amazing, Katie is lucky to have you."

"Are you ready for this?" I took a last drag before chucking the butt on the ground and standing up straight.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I replied, trying to give him a convincing smile. He gave me a pat on the back and we made our way around the van.

I stood in front of the door, my mind filling with memories from when I was seventeen. The last time I stood here – this close – I had my first run in with Jenna Fitch, who inevitably warned me to stay away from her daughter. Unfortunately for her, there was no way that I was going to listen, and even if she repeated those exact words to me right now, I'd follow my heart just like I did back then.

Ryan stood by my side and gave me a knowing grin before ringing the door bell, I couldn't help but shrink behind him as the door opened, revealing a beautiful Katie who was dressed in a tight black tank top which was tucked into a high waist leather skirt. Her smile looked like it was splitting her face as she greeted Ryan happily, but it soon faltered as her eyes shifted to me nervously waiting behind him.

"What the hell is she doing her?" She exclaimed in surprise. Her stare was piercing straight into me, but all that I was thankful for was that there was no sign of anger on her features, only shock and slight annoyance.

Ryan reached for her hand. "Relax, Katie. She's not here to cause a scene; she just wants to speak to Emily. Hear her out."

I was grateful that Ryan was sticking up for me even in front of his girlfriend, though he probably had no idea yet just how terrifying Katie could really be, but she seemed to listen to his words and nodded in agreement. She quickly closed the door behind her and stood in front of me with her arm folded over her chest, challenging me.

"Look…Katie," I stumbled over my sentence which the older twin raised her eyebrow to, but I took a deep breath and figured out my words.

"A lot has happened in these past years, and I'm not the person that I used to be, in some ways more than others. But the only thing that hasn't changed is the fact that I still love Emily with all of my heart, and I know that she loves me too. Things aren't right at the moment, I know I've upset Emily and I'm deeply sorry for doing so. I'm here because I want to make things right between us, we've spent too long running away from our problems without confronting them or each other, but I don't want to run away anymore. I want to be with her, Katie, and I hope that you'll accept that, and accept me for who I am."

I finished the sentence with a deep sigh of relief, my lungs were beginning to burn from the lack of oxygen, but I was glad to finally get it all out. I anticipated Katie's reply, hoping that she wouldn't turn around the close the door in my face, but she didn't. Instead she watched me with a slight look of fascination upon her face, and a small smile tugged upon the corner of her lips. Suddenly, she dove forward and pulled me into a bone crushing hug.

"You two are such idiots; I could slap the shit out of you both. But I'm glad you're here, Naomi, and there's no chance I could turn you away after that." I couldn't help but giggle at the girl's reaction.

"Thanks, Katie. Please just try and keep your mum at bay for me." Katie laughed and nodded in agreement.

"Let's do this." She said as she opened the front door, pulling Ryan in by the hand.

I allowed them to enter first so that Katie had the time to go and introduce her boyfriend to her family. The girl looked so happy and I couldn't ruin it for her by taking the attention from them, I wanted them to meet and approve of Ryan for the sake of both of them. They deserved each other, especially now that Katie had grown up and I knew Ryan would treat her right.

The Fitch household looked exactly as I last remembered it, but I didn't have the time to look around as Katie ushered me into the living room, she had obviously finished introducing Ryan, who I could imagine was desperate to get away from being centre of attention, he was never one for it. I followed Katie and that's where I saw Emily. She was sat on the sofa with her legs pulled up beneath her, resting her chin on her hand as she stared blankly at something that was playing on TV. I couldn't help but smile at the sight of her, especially at the sight of her in dark blue skinny jeans, a plain white t-shirt with a black cardigan over the top. Her hair was down and straight, falling simply but elegantly upon her shoulders. She looked up as she heard us enter, smiling as she saw her sister until her gaze fell upon me instead. She stared in confusion with her mouth hanging slightly open until she suddenly sprung to her feet, her lip pursed in anger. I opened my mouth to speak, begging her to just hear me out but Katie beat me to it.

"Emily, I've heard what she has to say and believe me, it's worth it. Please just give her the benefit of the doubt."

Emily glanced at her twin sister, infuriated by her speech. Ryan entered the room and came to stand by his girlfriend's side whilst he looked back at me, giving me a smile of encouragement. I pushed past them and took a stepped towards Emily but she gave me a warning glare, freezing me in my steps.

"Ems, I'm sorry for the way that I acted the other night but please, will you just give me the chance to explain?" I begged her, my heart pounding against my chest as her eyes never left mine.

Before she had the chance to reply, Jenna Fitch burst into the room with her typical sickeningly sweet smile plastered across her face until she realised who was in the company of her home. She stopped instantly, her expression turning sour.

"Oh, Naomi, I didn't expect to see you here." She said steadily, eyeing me with disdain. She tried to appear polite but I could still here the disgust in her voice.

"Hello, Mrs Fitch. I won't be here for long; I just need to speak to Emily."

"Well, I don't think Emily wants to speak right now so perhaps another time." She replied with a sadistic satisfaction.

"Mum, just stay out of it." I heard Katie say from behind me. I would have smiled out of gratitude but I couldn't tear my eyes away from Emily, who hadn't moved an inch. I was pleading her with my eyes but she was seemingly having a difficult time deciding what she wanted to do, I could see the apprehension playing in her eyes.

"Please, Emily I just…" I pulled the guitar case over my shoulder and placed it in front of me. "I just want you to hear this stupid song so that I can try and explain this to you, and then if you still want me to then I'll leave."

Emily looked at me hesitantly, but eventually nodded. I nearly jumped for joy but I couldn't show my excitement yet.

"Can we go for a walk?"

"No, I want you to do it right here." She replied confidently, confusing me. But she was prepared to listen so I wasn't about to protest.

I unzipped the case, carefully positioning the black acoustic over my torso as I put the case to the side. I stepped aside, allowing room for Ryan and Katie to sit down, both looking intrigued. Even Jenna stayed put, wanting to be nosey and called for Rob and James, only making me further uncomfortable and anxious.

I gently plucked the strings one by one and adjusted the tuning slightly before I fixed the capo into place. I took a deep breath, fiddling with the plectrum in my hand as I looked straight at Emily.

"I wrote this for you earlier. I hope you like it."

I strummed the strings gently before I slowly picked up the melody, my fingers easily jumping to the right chords. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, trying to push away my nerves as my confidence began to rise. Losing myself within the music, I started to sing.

_I could close my eyes and pray,_

_But I'd never find the right words to say to you._

_We've fought this way,_

_And we wear these scars like medals._

_But I'm not proud of this destruction I've caused._

_I'd give it all up,_

_And give it all away just for those right words._

I looked straight up at Emily, trying to read her expression, trying to show everything that I felt through my eyes, hoping she'd understand. Her eyes had softened and she never looked away. I strummed the strings harder.

_Baby, there's a million thing I want to say._

_But for tonight, can we pretend that we're okay?_

_Maybe we've had our time,_

_But I'm not done holding your heart in mine._

Tears begun to well up in her eyes but we didn't look away. It was as though we were the only ones in the room, nothing else mattered.

_Nothing I can say can change your mind._

_The hands have turned, the lessons learned._

_You were gone before I could say goodbye,_

_So long, and I'll miss you._

_I'd stop and hit rewind,_

_Erase these haunted memories._

_If I could take it all away._

My throat began to ache with unshed tears but I ignored it, I couldn't mess this up. It had to be right.

_So for tonight, can we pretend that we're okay?_

_And lay here without a word to say._

_Because I'm thinking through these memories,_

_My mind is stuck on play._

_What makes me smile makes me want to cry._

_So for one night, let's pretend that we're okay._

I held onto the note for a few seconds as I began the short solo, mixing it with a combination of strumming and plucking. I bit down on my lip as I watched the way my fingers moved, making sure that I got it right before I slammed my open hand against the strings, silencing the vibrations as I sung out the next verse without the music before quickly picking it up again_._

_I lost this fight long ago,_

_I'm holding onto shattered pieces of a life we used to know._

_There's nothing left to see,_

_Except this empty heart from faded memories._

_Baby, just stay with me tonight._

_I know it's not an honest way to act,_

_And the things we do, we can't take back._

_The things I say won't make up for what I lack._

_Because words are just words,_

_If it's not enough to get you back._

_But I'm sorry for the pain, sorry for the wrongs I've made._

_But you're still perfect in every single way._

The tears nearly slipped from my eyes as I sang the last verse but I kept it together as I began to slow the melody down to a gentle, soft plucking. I made a soft noise in the back of my throat before I sung the last verse in an almost whisper, making my voice sound a lot higher pitched than usual.

_Oohhhhh,_

_And I'll keep my heart wide open,_

_If you'll just take me in your arms._

_Because I need you here,_

_More than I knew myself._

_Can you take away this loneliness?_

_Before I lose my mind?_

I finished the song by slowly dragging the plectrum down the strings. My eyes darted to the floor as I quickly brushed away the tears. I hated getting into this kind of state in front of anyone, let alone the entire of Emily's family. I took a deep breath and cleared my throat before I braved myself to look back up to the eyes of my lover, who openly had tears spilling down her cheeks as she watched me with an expression I couldn't figure out. Nobody else said a word, even Jenna seemed to be speechless for once. I looked to the eyes of my friends, Katie looked like she was trying to hold back tears and Ryan appeared sad but had a smile on his face. I guessed he was glad that I had managed to do it, not to only perform a song by myself but it was the first ever song that I had written completely by myself as well. He was obviously glad to hear it, to see the way that his teaching had paid off because I wouldn't be able to do any of this if it wasn't for him.

I lifted the guitar strap over my head and carefully leant the guitar against the side of the sofa, but before I had the chance to move, a strong force suddenly slammed into me, nearly knocking me off of my feet. Emily buried herself against my chest; I could feel the warmth of her breath through my t-shirt. I encased her in my arms, holding her tightly against me so that there wasn't even an inch of space between us. I pressed my face into her hair, breathing deeply to inhale her familiar and welcoming scent. I could feel her sobbing against me which only made me hold her even tighter than before, never wanting to let go. We stayed like that for a long time, neither of us dared to move or utter a single word even as our breathing calmed. I stroked her soft red hair, smoothing it down her back as I kept my other arm locked firmly around her petite waist.

"Come on, let's give them some space." I heard Rob say, followed by the sound of footsteps leaving the room. I looked up, and surely enough we were alone.

I sat down on the sofa and pulled Emily with me onto my lap. She pulled her legs up and buried her face into the crook of my neck. She brushed her hand down my arm until she reached my hand, lacing her fingers through mine. I kissed the top of her head and I felt her smile against my skin. Eventually Emily pulled away and looked me in the eye as she stroked her fingers down my cheek; I leant against the warmth, cherishing the feeling.

"That was beautiful." She whispered, smiling with sincerity.

"Why did you make me sing it in front of everyone?" I asked curiously as she continued to stroke my cheek.

"Because I wanted Mum to hear it, I wanted her to finally understand that there's more to us than she realises."

I nodded in understanding, it was reasonable. I wasn't bothered by it anyway, I was just glad that Emily had allowed me to perform it in the first place.

"I'm sorry for overreacting." Emily said, a look of sadness crossing her face. I quickly took her hands in mine and pressed them to my lips.

"It's okay. I'm sorry for not talking to you."

We both looked at each other before bursting out into laughter; we grabbed a hold of one another and cuddled as our bodies shook with laughter. This mess had been caused through a lack of communication, and we had both realised just how silly our actions were. I cupped Emily's face between my hands and pulled her towards me, pressing my lips gently but firmly to hers. She responded instantly, slipping her sweet tongue into my mouth as she massaged it against mine. I had to stop myself from moaning, I couldn't ever get enough of kissing this girl. A fire would burn within my chest, scorching through my veins as my heart quickened its pace, my breathing increased and my head would spin, making me feel like a giddy child instead of an adult.

I couldn't stop myself from smiling even after we pulled away, both desperate for air. I rubbed my nose against hers before kissing it gently, making her giggle as she copied the action. I couldn't be happier than I was in this moment but I knew that we still had things we needed to talk about.

"We still need to talk. Can we go outside?"

Understanding that this was serious, Emily nodded and grabbed my hand, pulling me up from the sofa with her. We walked hand in hand through the kitchen, passing her family and I could instantly feel Jenna's eyes burning a hole into the back of my head but I ignored her.

We stepped out into the garden, closing the door behind us so that nobody would interrupt us. It was still lovely and warm outside even though it was beginning to get late; the sun was only just beginning to set. The clear blue sky had darkened ever so slightly with a mix of yellow and purple streaking across the horizon. The setting sun blushed on the wooden fences, shining across the garden with a warm red and orange glow almost as though it was on fire.

We sat on the edge of the brick wall at the end of the lawn facing each other. I pulled out a cigarette, offering one to Emily which she accepted with a quiet "thank you." I didn't speak until we had both sparked up.

"I need to know that we have a future together." I blurted suddenly, quickly taking a pull of my fag to help calm the nerves that were stirring again.

Emily's eyes widened in surprise. "Naomi of course we do, you should know this."

I shook my head. "No Emily, I don't want our future to just consist of us dating for a few years. I want us to still be together ten or twenty years down the line. In fact, I want to spend the rest of my life with you because I love you more than anything. I can't be without you, I tried and I couldn't do it, I can't lose you again." I released a deep breath, swallowing the lump that had risen into my throat. Emily took both of my hands in hers, rubbing the pads of her thumbs against my palms.

"I can't promise where we'll be in the future because we both know that anything can happen. But I can promise that I'm never going to stop loving you, I mean for fucks sake, I've been in love with you since middle school." We both chuckled; memories of the anxious little Fitch filled our minds.

"My point is, is that I want all of the same things that you want. I made a huge mistake when I broke up with you, I regretted it every day after and I still regret it now, especially now that I know that you were….what happened to you." She frowned as she stumbled over the sentence, obviously worrying about what she said to me.

"It doesn't matter what happened in the past, not anymore. All that matters is right now and I just need to know that if we're going to get back together that you'll stay by my side. One thing you need to realise, Emily, is that I'm not the girl I used to be. What happened to me that night has changed me, I've come a long way but I still have these issues, I'm still damaged and broken from what he did to me and the nightmares that have haunted me since. I don't want us to try again and then you realise that you can't deal with me, I can't go through that again."

"I know but I want to be with you, Naomi. I want this chance to make up for what I did to you before, but I want this to be a fresh start, like this is a brand new relationship for us. I want to be the person that you can turn to."

I nodded in agreement, feeling so relieved that she understood where I was coming from and wanted the same as me. My eyes scanned Emily's face, taking in every detail of her features, it still amazed me just how beautiful she is. Emily had always been a best friend to me, she had always taken the time to get to know the real me, not the façade I used to wear. She did that once, I knew she could do it again.

I leaned forward and captured her lips with mine, smiling into the kiss as her lips moved with mine. I savoured it whilst I could until I quickly pulled back. Emily pouted and tried to lean back in, but I giggled and pushed her back gently.

"If we're starting anew, kissing isn't allowed, or sex." I teased, chuckling at the look of sheer devastation that crossed her face. "We're going to go out and get to know each other again. Can I take you out for coffee tomorrow, say around 12?"

An adorable smile lit up Emily's face and I could tell that she was trying to resist kissing me; I was already resisting it myself.

"I'd love that." She replied eagerly with a bright smile. My heart swooned with excitement.

"Great, well I'll come and pick you up from your apartment. I better go before your mum tries to throw me out, but I'll see you tomorrow." I pulled Emily to her feet and she slipped her arms around my waist, resting her head against my chest.

"I'm so glad you came." She whispered. I kissed the top of her head and smiled down at her.

We walked back inside with my arm around her waist, passing through the living room where everyone except Jenna were sat watching TV. The conversation ended as they said goodbye to me, it was nice to see that at least they accepted me in Emily's life. I'd just have to keep trying to win Jenna over, and that was why the surprise hit me like a train when Emily stood by the front door to say goodbye to me just as Jenna came down the stairs. She paused and watched us for a second, instantly making me feel awkward and wanting to run out the door before she could try to undermine me. But when she spoke, it was the last thing I ever expected to hear Jenna Fitch ask.

"Would you like to stay for dinner, Naomi?"

My head snapped round so fast that I thought I'd give myself whiplash. My eyes were wide, and I half expected her to start laughing in my face and say that it was a joke, but she didn't, instead she watched me expectantly. I glanced at Emily who looked as equally as shocked as me, but a wide grin formed on her face as she turned to me with excitement in her eyes. I opened and closed my mouth like a fish, but I quickly cleared my throat and gave her my best appreciative smile.

"Thank you, Mrs Fitch. I would like that."

Jenna sent a smile in our direction as she left the room. I couldn't help but burst out laughing, people were really beginning to shock me recently but it just goes to show that anyone could change if they really wanted to. I took Emily's hand in mine and we smiled at each other. My heart throbbed with so much love and happiness; I thought there was a chance it would explode. I had been given a second chance, and I intended on clinging to it with both hands.

* * *

There you go; I hope this was a nice change from all the angst there's been recently. I'm thinking of ending this story within the next couple of chapters, I think it's about time to put this story to rest hahaha. I just want to thank you all so much for sticking with me.

Leave a review if you have the time, they make me happy, and I need cheering up right now. :P

KairiM.


	29. Chapter 29

**So this took me longer to write and upload than I had originally anticipated, but hey, at least it hasn't been half a year, right?! This chapter is mainly just a happy little filler before we jump back into the story. Thank you all for the reviews, I couldn't thank you guys enough but trust me, you're all amazing! If you guys could read the authors note at the end of the chapter, I've asked for your ideas on the rest of this story. So have a read, I really hope you enjoy this.**

**Jennifer D: Thank you very much for your lovely reviews, they really made me smile. You should create an account so I can reply to you personally and give my thanks. I'm glad you're enjoying the story. This one is for you! **

**I don't own Skins, sadly.**

Chapter 28

As we all tried to squeeze around a six seater table, awkwardness began to ensue. I sat at the side next to Emily with Ryan and Katie opposite us. Jenna sat at the top end like the queen bee and Rob was at the other end with James squeezed between us. I noticed that the young teenager couldn't keep his eyes off of me, only adding to the awkwardness.

Jenna kept sending nervous smiles in my direction, I could sense that she was struggling to be nice and accept me as Emily's girlfriend…or whatever we were at the moment. Rob, however, seemed completely oblivious to the obvious tension as he happily talked away to me and Ryan about his gym and how he nearly lost it a few years ago. But he managed to pull it all together and now it was thriving better than ever. Emily shot an amused grin at me as I tried hard to think of something to reply with. I nudged her playfully under the table.

Ryan found it easier to talk to Rob than I did as he eagerly announced that he would like to check out the gym and sign up. He also asked if there were any jobs available, much to Rob's excited approval. I wasn't sure if Ryan was just kissing his ass – though I knew that he did like to work out and keep in shape – but it was nice to see him so at ease around this family, unlike myself.

"So Ryan, what did you do back in Cornwall?" Jenna probed, giving him an encouraging smile.

"I worked in a music store after I left college, which is actually where I met Naomi. Eventually we started playing in the band together and I moved into her place." Ryan shot a smirk in my direction and I beamed back, remembering when we first become friends.

"How did you learn to sing like that, Naomi? Were you taught when you were young?" Rob asked with interest,

I shook my head politely. "It was Ryan who actually taught me. He's a great singer; he grew up singing so he was able to help me train my voice. He also taught me how to play the guitar." I looked at my friend with pride and gratitude.

"Really babe?" Katie excitedly placed her hand on Ryan's arm, her eyes shining with adoration.

Ryan smiled shyly. "Yeah, but Naomi is a natural when it comes to musical talent so it wasn't hard to teach her. That's why I wanted her in the band, she fit the part and she has very powerful vocals."

This time it was my turn to smile shyly, I hated compliments but Ryan had always made sure that I knew I was good at my work. He always had the right words of encouragement to make me feel good about myself. He was like a big brother who had taken his little sister under his wing, that's how I viewed our friendship.

"I'd love to see you two perform together." Emily spoke up, grinning as she squeezed my leg.

"Oh my god, please will you?" Katie exclaimed with excitement.

I turned to glare at Emily for putting the idea into Katie's head, but the puppy dog eyes she was giving me made it impossible to say no. Ryan and I glanced at each other anxiously.

"I would certainly like to see that." Even Rob agreed and I nearly groaned in dismay. I loved performing but not in close encounters.

"I wanna fuck you when you sing." James blurted out whilst staring at my tits. Ryan and Katie burst out laughing and I gaped at the young boy in shock horror, not expecting something like that to come out of his mouth.

"James!" Jenna shrieked, sounding as though she was about to have a heart attack.

"What? I do, get over it." The youngest Fitch replied nonchalantly as though what he had just said wasn't completely inappropriate and something that none of us really wanted to hear. Emily reached behind the back of my chair and smacked him upside the head, causing him to cry out in surprised pain.

"That is no way to speak to a lady, kid. Naughty bar, now!" Rob scolded his son, glaring at him with a mixture of anger and amusement.

The blonde boy stamped his feet in protest as he shoved his chair back and stormed out of the room where there was a pull up bar set up in the doorway. He was only just about tall enough to reach it.

I coughed awkwardly and tried to hide my burning face behind my glass of wine. Emily rubbed my back sympathetically.

"I do apologise for his behaviour, Naomi. You know what teenage boys are like." Jenna sounded exasperated, either from the shock of her son or trying to find it within her to apologise to me for him. Either way, I nearly choked on the saliva in my mouth from the surprise that she was being this nice to me when over an hour ago she was prepared to throw me out of her house. Even Emily and Katie appeared shocked but poor Ryan looked between us with a confused frown, not understanding what was going on.

"Um…thanks, Mrs Fitch, its okay." I replied with genuine sincerity.

"Oh please, you can both call me Jenna."

This time I literally had to stop myself from choking on the sip of wine I had just taken, unlucky timing. Emily had her hand covering her mouth, hiding the grin she was wearing behind it.

"Thanks, Jenna." Ryan and I said simultaneously.

Once James returned to the table looking exhausted, Jenna got up to serve dinner. Apparently her cooking was just as awful as it used to be, though I had never actually experienced it until now. I could see the moment that she placed the dreadful looking mash of god knows what in front of us that the accusations were all true. However, we all dug in politely, trying hard not to cringe with every mouthful.

Once dinner was done, the twins helped clean up whilst me and Ryan practically ran outside for a fag to wash away the disgusting taste. I inhaled the nicotine gratefully after all of that awkwardness.

"That wasn't so bad." Ryan evaluated cheerfully.

I scoffed. "Easy for you to say, you didn't have to worry about whether or not Jenna was going to tear your head off."

"But she seems nice." He replied innocently and I couldn't help but laugh.

"She's hated me from the first moment she met me, she thinks that it's my fault that Emily's gay. This is the nicest she's actually ever been to me." I explained to my confused friend.

"I see, well she didn't seem so bad, maybe she's coming to terms with it."

I thought it over. She had been scarily nice to me at dinner, no condescending digs or glares. The woman had actually tried to talk to me like I was actually human rather than grunt at me like the shit on her shoe was worth more of her time than me. And she had actually smiled at me; maybe she had mellowed out a little.

"Yeah, maybe." I muttered in response.

"So what song shall we play?" Ryan asked, grinning at me playfully.

I groaned. "God, are you serious?"

"God might not be, but I certainly am." I shook my head laughing at his enthusiasm.

"Fine, we'll have to do one of our acoustic covers." I agreed finally.

We talked about what we'd play and decided that Ryan would play the guitar but we'd sing together. Once again I was nervous but I was glad to have my best friend by my side this time. At least this would be interesting.

After finishing our fags and deciding on a song, we stepped back inside. I smiled as I watched Emily wash up and wrapped my arms around her waist from behind; she leaned back into my embrace with a smile and kissed my cheek.

"I'm so glad you came." She whispered and I hummed in agreement.

"Me too. But you better hurry up or I'll sing without you." I giggled and playfully smacked her ass, dancing out of the room before I got hit by a spray of bubbles.

I entered the living room to find Rob watching some sports channel and Katie and Ryan on the sofa as Ryan adjusted the guitar to a different tuning. James was sat on the floor in front of them, playing with his phone whilst Jenna was sat on the sofa opposite, watching the happy couple fondly.

"Don't you need a tuner or something babe?" Katie asked as she watched Ryan pluck a string and listen to the sound before twisting the machine head and repeating the action.

"Nah, when you've been playing for as long as I have, you begin to learn what each tuning should sound like." He explained almost smugly, making me laugh and alerting everyone to my presence.

"Not always, he's just showing off." I said cheekily, sitting next to them as Katie giggled and Ryan smirked, he probably would have flipped me off if he wasn't in the company of his girlfriend's family's presence.

Emily entered the room not long after and he twins and their brother scoot over to the other sofa, leaving room for me and Ryan to get prepared and comfortable. Rob muted the TV and they all watched us eagerly.

We looked at each other with a grin and nodded, and then Ryan started to play.

_**Naomi:**__ Have faith in me,__  
__Cause there are things that I've seen I don't believe.__  
__So cling to what you know and never let go.__  
__You should know things aren't always what they seem._

I closed my eyes as I sang, bouncing my leg and shaking my head lightly as I lost myself in one of my favourite songs. Ryan then joined in.

_**Naomi and Ryan: **__I said I'd never let you go and I never did.__  
__I said I'd never let you fall and I always meant it.__  
__If you didn't have this chance then I never did.__  
__You'll always find me right there, again._

I gave Ryan a quick smile before his verse came up, I could see that he was nervous even with his eyes closed, but I knew he'd lose himself in it just like I did. Besides, he had nothing to be nervous about, he had an amazing voice.

_**Ryan: **__I'm going crazy,__  
__Cause there are things in the streets I don't believe.__  
__So we'll pretend it's alright and stay in for the night,__  
__Oh what a world.__  
__I'll keep you safe here with me._

I watched the way Katie's voice lit up the moment Ryan's voice spilled from his lips. I could see on all of their faces that they weren't expecting him to have such a soft and gentle but rough voice. Emily looked up at me with a wide smile, and neither of us could help but quietly giggle at the love struck look upon Katie's face. Ryan opened his eyes at the end of his verse and looked at me, the confidence now shining across his face as we happily grinned at each other.

_**Naomi and Ryan**__: __I said I'd never let you go, and I never did.__  
__I said I'd never let you fall and I always meant it.__  
__If you didn't have this chance then I never did.__  
__You'll always find me right there, again._

_I said I'd never let you go, and I never did.__  
__I said I'd never let you fall and I always meant it.__  
__If you didn't have this chance then I never did.__  
__You'll always find me right there, again._

I couldn't stop grinning as I sang my heart out, putting as much power into my voice as necessary. It's what I loved about singing and performing, no matter what mood I was in, it'd all fade away and I'd feel free. This time it didn't help that I had a beautiful girl smiling at me constantly and whooping along with her excited sister. I had to stop myself from laughing sometimes.

_**Naomi: **__They've got me on the outside, looking in.__  
__But I can't see at all,__  
__With the weight of the world on my shoulders,__  
__They just wanna see me fall._

_**Naomi and Ryan**__: __They've got me on the outside, looking in.__  
__But I can't see at all,__  
__With the weight of the world on my shoulders,__  
__They just wanna see me fall._

_**Naomi: **__Have faith in me._

_**Naomi and Ryan**__: __I said I'd never let you go, and I never did.__  
__I said I'd never let you fall and I always meant it.__  
__If you didn't have this chance then I never did.__  
__You'll always find me right there, again._

Once Ryan strummed the last note I fell apart laughing as Emily and Katie jumped up and started cheering, clapping and whooping. They were acting like two die hard fans, and the great mood I was in only added to the amusement. Rob, Jenna and James were clapping as well but not quite as enthusiastically as the twins.

Ryan placed the guitar down just as Katie bounded into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and giving him a quick, but full on kiss on the mouth. I couldn't help but laugh more, but it also made me a little sad that Emily and I weren't allowed to show the same kind of affection. Well, we could, but we'd only risk pissing Jenna off and since I seemed to be in her good books, I didn't want to push my luck. Instead, Emily perched beside me and wrapped an arm around my waist and smiled.

"Oh my god, you guys are so good!" Katie squealed into Ryan's neck. He chuckled and rubbed her back lovingly.

"That was lovely." Jenna said, a partially fake – partially sincere smile was plastered on her face.

"Lovely? That was fucking a!" James exclaimed excitedly, resulting in yet another scolding from the Fitch family as his mother visibly paled.

"Will you be doing anymore gigs soon?" Emily asked as she glanced between me and Ryan eagerly. My heart swelled at the excitement in her voice and the sparkle in her eyes that matched it, my girlfriend genuinely loved what we did and not just because she was trying to seem supportive. Knowing that she honestly liked the way we sound, it was one of the best feelings ever.

"I think we'll try to get something soon, but there are a few things we need to get sorted before we do, and I think it's time for us to start writing our own music." I explained happily, shooting Ryan a grin of which he returned. I now felt comfortable in myself and with this band; it was definitely time for us to start taking this even more seriously.

"I think we've got ourselves some groupies." Ryan joked, causing us all to burst out laughing as the twins shoved us both, playful smiles on their faces.

"We might need to get some security to ensure we don't get stalked." I teased, giggling as Emily glared at me with a grin, a glint in her eyes told me that I needed to shut up or she was going to jump me in front of everyone. Not that I'd complain, probably wouldn't be much appreciated by everyone else though.

The rest of the night went surprisingly well, filled with light conversation, jokes and plenty of laughter. Ryan even tried to show James a few chords on the guitar but the poor boy couldn't handle the pain of holding down the strings, and quickly ended up frustrated. I hastily placed the guitar back into its bag before it ended up broken, I wouldn't allow my baby to get hurt.

After a few kisses and cuddles as me and Ryan said goodbye to our girlfriend's, we were soon back in the van as we drove back to Effy's. I stared out of the window with a tired but happy smile on my face, and I couldn't help but recap the night, one that still seemed so god damn bizarre to me.

I spoke more to Rob than I did Jenna, who still seemed incredibly uneasy around me. I had no idea why she invited me to stay for dinner, either she was trying to come to terms with the fact that I was Emily's girlfriend, or she was simply trying to make a good impression in front of Ryan. Either way, I didn't mind, it meant I got to spend more time with Emily without having to hide away or act as though we were nothing more than friends. However, I could get used to their family dinners; it hadn't exactly been unpleasant, just a little awkward. It was nice though, I never thought I'd ever be in the same room as Jenna Fitch unless it was by accident, in which case I would have ended up running for my life.

As long as I knew that she was actually trying to accept me and Emily rather than acting like a fake bitch around Katie's new boyfriend to get brownie points then I was happy, and I could see that Emily was happy too, and that was all that mattered to me.

**Right, guys, there's a couple of things I need to ask you all. Obviously the first question is, did you like the chapter? I really hope you did, and I would be extremely grateful for any reviews. They make me incredibly happy and smile like an ultimate goon, so please let me know your thoughts and opinions!**

**The second question: What would you guys like to see in the rest of Can You Keep a Secret? Originally I planned to end this story within the next two or three chapters, but then I had other ideas pop into my head. You guys know me, I write a lot of angst, and this is a very angsty story. So would you rather a quick but happy ending or a lot more horrible shit for our poor girl's to face?**

**Let me know your ideas! Chances are that one of you will give me a great idea and if you do, I will definitely give my thanks and appreciation. So go and click that review button!**

**Also, the song is by A Day to Remember - Have Faith in Me. There is absolutely no copyright here, I don't own anything about this song except for my thriving love for it. Cool?**

**Lots of love to you all. KairiM xx**


	30. Chapter 30

**Here's a happy, fluffy chapter for you all to make up for how long it's taken me to update. I hope you like and let me know what you think!**

Chapter 30

11:52 am. I stared at the block of flats before me as my heart pounded within my chest. I took a drag from the nicotine stick between my fingers and flicked the butt to the ground, only to pull another out of its packet straight after. I had been outside for the past five minutes or so and I was already on my fourth cigarette since I had left Effy's.

I was beyond nervous; I couldn't comprehend why considering I was more than fine yesterday when I was with the Fitch's. But this was a date, something that I had never done before, and most importantly, it was with Emily. This was the beginning of something special and I had to make sure it was done right. After everything we had been through, it was finally time to lay the past to rest and get on with our lives. I had finally accepted what had happened to me and now I was ready to allow myself to give into happiness. I knew for a fact that I wouldn't find that anywhere else except for with Emily, she completed me and it was time to start this new relationship completely afresh, forgetting whatever happened between us in the past.

We had grown into new people and sure, maybe we still had some of our old traits but overall we had both matured so much since we were seventeen, and I had grown completely different to how I had expected. I now wanted to see who Emily had grown to be, I wanted to get to know her all over again and fall head over heels in love with every word that left her perfect lips.

I took a deep breath as I flicked the cigarette to the ground, calming myself as I dug into my black leather messenger bag and produced some mints and a can of body spray, I didn't want to start our date smelling like a dirty ashtray.

I straightened out my leather jacket which I wore over a crimson blouse, completed with a black skinny Levi biker jeans and hi-top converse. My hair was simply straightened and I wore only a small amount of make up. I had dressed to impress but not too much to look as though I was trying too hard, I wanted to be myself around the red head.

I pressed the button for Emily's apartment and listened to the buzzing of the intercom. Thankfully, she answered after a few seconds.

"I'll be right down." She answered cheerfully. I couldn't help but smile at the sound of her voice as I waited patiently for her arrival.

No more than two minutes later the beautiful red head appeared and the sight before me pulled the air from my lungs. She wore a beautiful white summer dress that revealed just the right amount of cleavage as it was fitted around her torso, perfectly showing off the shape of her curved body before it flowed around her deliciously toned legs. Her hair was mostly straight but was curled slightly at the ends and her fringe was pined up into a quiff, an ultimate weakness of mine.

I couldn't stop myself from staring even if I had wanted to. There were not enough words to describe just how stunning this girl was, or how the way she mixed the cute and sexy look all into one and pulled it off magnificently. I couldn't describe how the way her beaming smile made me weak at the knees, or the way my heart beat excelled to a less than humanly possible rate whenever I was surrounded by her presence. I was truly in love and it didn't scare me anymore. I couldn't contain the grin that threatened to split my face in half as Emily approached me.

"Wow…" Was all that I could breathe out. Her grin turned to a shy smile as a blush crept up to her cheeks. She tiptoed up and gently kissed my cheek.

"You look amazing." She whispered as she slipped her small hand into mine.

It was my turn to blush. "So do you." I mumbled shyly, feeling like a nervous teenager all over again.

I pulled her in for a quick cuddle before we began to make our way into town. It was a beautiful day so I thought it'd be nicer to walk instead of getting a smelly bus. It was definitely worth it as the conversation flowed easily and naturally between us and I got to watch the way the wind blew through her silky crimson hair as she threw her head back and laughed at something I had said. It was like something out of a movie but I was lucky enough to be on a date with this gorgeous girl and witnessing this goddess like scene in real life instead of pining for that sort of fairytale.

We soon stopped outside of a small café with a navy blue banner and Emily smiled as she looked upon the place. We had come here a few times during our summer together three years ago. It was a great little place that made coffee that didn't taste like shit and their sandwiches were just the best. I shot a grin in Emily's direction and she looked up at me with a fond expression across her face.

"I haven't been here since the last time we came." She told me, filling me with both relief and happiness. This place hadn't been tainted with any of the crap from the past three years, it was still special. It was the perfect place to start a new beginning.

As we stepped into the café I walked straight up to the front counter to order our drinks. A vanilla and cinnamon latte for me and a caramel hot chocolate for Emily, which I hoped was still her favourite. I paid the lady for our drinks and took them to the table that Emily had chosen by the far window. I placed the steaming mugs down before sitting opposite to the red head that beamed when she saw the creamy chocolate liquid.

"You remembered." She stated with surprise, her eyes twinkling as she smiled bashfully at me.

I felt my heart flutter. "I never forgot." I murmured, gazing deep into my favourite brown eyes.

I took a sip of my drink and I couldn't stop myself from moaning aloud as the delicious taste washed over my tongue. Emily's head snapped up suddenly, her eyes wide as she licked her lips slightly and looked me up and down, contemplation crossed her expression. I started to frown until I recognised the piercing look in her slightly dilated pupils.

"Don't give me that look, we have an agreement." I chuckled lightly, smirking as her cheeks blazed fiercely.

"I know but it's hard to remember that when you look so hot right now." She winked at me, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth as she eyed me again.

My cheeks were glowing; a tingle ran through my body. I had to resist all urges to forget our agreement and take her right there on the table. I cleared my throat slightly, unable to contain my smile as sexy images floated blissfully through my mind. I decided it was time to change the conversation before we were taken over by lust.

"So Emily, tell me about you." I said after a few moments of us checking each other out.

"What would you like to know?" She asked sweetly.

"Everything, from after we broke up until now." I replied genuinely, not even struggling as I mentioned the break up. That didn't matter; it was all about the here and now. I was glad to see that Emily didn't flinch either; we were no longer tip toeing around each other.

"After college and what happened with us, I spent some time travelling through Mexico so I could get away. I spent most of the time partying and relaxing before I moved onto Africa to do some volunteer work, helping the homeless and teaching the children. It was possibly one of the greatest experiences of my entire life." Her eyes shone with passion as she began her story and I instantly found myself intrigued, lost within the sound of her voice.

"I stayed there for as long as I could afford it, living in their kind of environment so I could understand what it was like for them. I stayed there for a few months, helping out and getting as much experience as I could before coming back to Bristol. Since then I've been studying at University to be a primary school teacher and volunteering at some of the local schools. I'm currently taking a few months off before I go back to Uni for my final years."

The pride that swarmed within my chest was unbelievable. Hearing that Emily had been following her dreams, seeing the happiness and excitement expressed in her eyes, voice and body language as she told her story made me feel the exact same way, as though I had experienced those things myself. She was happy, she was living her life the way she had always wanted and I couldn't have been happier for her.

"So what about you, I mean, after we broke up and knowing what I know now…what happened?" Emily paused slightly during the anxious question, her eyes trained on mine carefully to make sure she wasn't over stepping the mark by asking.

I glanced down into the bottom of my now empty mug. I didn't want to lie to Emily but I was worried that revealing the truth would upset the red head and I didn't want that on our first date. But I had to leave that decision up to her; I wasn't going to keep anything from her anymore.

"Do you want the truth or the decorated truth?" I joked but it only made Emily frown.

"I want the truth, Naoms."

I nodded in understanding. "It's not particularly a happy story…" I tried to explain but Emily stopped me by encasing my hand with hers.

"I know, with everything that happened I don't expect it to be. I just want to understand better." She gave me a reassuring smile and I returned it by squeezing her hand, silently thanking her for wanting to listen.

"After we broke up I had a break down, I lost all hope and care for anything so I just kept drinking, never slept nor ate and took any kind of drug that I could get my hands on. I didn't stop until my body eventually gave up and I nearly killed myself, I hadn't meant for it to happen but once it did, I didn't care if I lived or died." It was impossible not to notice the shock that flashed through Emily's eyes, mixed with fear and guilt. I could almost hear the thoughts that were running through her mind; it didn't take a genius to figure out exactly what she was thinking so I knew I had to change the angle quickly.

"Anyway, I was in hospital for a few weeks until they felt I was stable enough to leave and once I did, I started taking the counselling and therapy a lot more seriously than I did before. I was alive and I realised that I didn't want to carry on that way so I got better. I finished college, met Ryan and the others and I found my passion for writing and music, I was able to start a new life with them. They saved me, they stopped me from falling and helped me through the hard times, I honestly don't know where I'd be if it wasn't for them." A small smile pulled up on my lips as I thought about everything that my friends had done for me and I knew if it wasn't for them, I'd probably be dead. It was hard to overcome the strangling sense of depression, I could feel it tightening around me even as I recalled my memories but I was stronger now, I was able to push it away.

There was sadness in Emily's smile as she pulled my hand up to her mouth, gently kissing my fingers. I could see the sympathy in her eyes and I knew she was trying hard to understand, I was grateful for it.

"I'm glad, I just hate the thought of you going through all of that and I didn't even try to help you. I'm sorry."

"Emily we can't change what happened in the past. Believe me; thinking that way gets you nowhere, it just puts you in a dark place. You're here now, we're together and that's all that matters. I went away to sort myself out and I did, I tried to be happy with my life there but Effy convinced me to come back and I'm glad she did, there was always something missing." I looked hard into her brown orbs, hoping that she could see that I was trying to tell her that she was that something, nothing felt complete without her around. I guessed she understood as a loving look glazed her eyes and she nuzzled my hand affectionately.

"Everything is back in place now." She whispered against my skin.

I beamed joyfully. "Yes, it is."

After a few minutes of caressing each other's hands whilst blue orbs gazed longingly into brown, we realised that the last piece of the puzzle that we had lost was now sitting perfectly in place, the place where it had always belonged. This was one of those moments that would stay with us for the rest of our lives, it was the moment that determined our future together and it had gone exactly how I had wanted it to. We both understood each other, we knew what we wanted and the past was behind us. We were stronger than ever before and I truly believed that we could accomplish anything for as long as we had each other.

After a while we decided it was time to leave, the date wasn't over yet and I had no intention of letting it end anytime soon. All I wanted to do was spend the rest of the day within Emily's company, so we walked through Bristol hand in hand, grinning insatiably at each other in delight that we were together once again. Streams of sunshine danced upon us, smothering us in rays of blessed warmth and happiness. I felt as though I was indestructible, nothing could put me down when I had the love of my life by my side.

We spent some time window shopping before settling in a park beneath an old oak tree, protecting us from getting burnt as we sat side by side, eating through a bag of munch that we had just brought from the shop. I playfully fed half of my crisps to the little red head, giggling insanely as I made stupid noises, pretending it was a plane.

"Open up, Ems! It's gonna crash!" I exclaimed as I shoved the entire crisp into her mouth, laughing as a look of relief crossed her features.

"That was a close one!" She sighed, pretending to wipe the sweat off her forehead before we burst into a fit of giggles at how we were acting like children.

Eventually we threw the rubbish away and settled back beneath the tree with Emily sat between my legs as we smoked a cigarette, passing it back and forth.

"So what do you plan to do now that you're back?" Emily asked suddenly, catching me off guard.

"I'm not sure. I definitely want to carry on with the band and my music but I need a job just to get by before I can really start thinking about the future." I answered after a moment of thinking. Emily nodded, seeming happy with my answer.

"You should do what makes you happy. Life is too short to worry about money and working in shitty, dead end jobs. I want to see you follow your dreams like you always said you would and I want to be by your side to watch you accomplish them."

I was touched by the sincerity of Emily's words and I couldn't resist it anymore, I tugged on Emily's shoulder, pulling her into me as I crashed our lips together. Mouths moved and tongues danced in glorious reunion and my heart nearly screamed at the wealth of happiness that consumed my entire being. Within that moment I felt as though I had been broken, shattered into pieces before being carefully pieced back together in Emily's arms in an almost perfect resemblance. For the first time in so long, I felt complete, like I had been stripped of all the wrongs and horrors in my life by one simple but utterly perfect kiss.

As the girl in my arms twisted around to lock her arms behind my neck, I had no idea how things could get any better than this. I was happy and it was so honest and real that I finally felt alive, like a fire had been lit deep within my soul. It was terrifying how one little person could make me feel so much, it was completely indescribable, something that only we could feel and understand. A bond that would forever keep us connected.

A moment too soon, we pulled away, gasping desperately for air. I wanted to laugh as I rested my forehead against Emily's as an uncontrollable smile took forth. How I ever thought I could try and live without this girl was just ridiculous, but I knew better now and as I held her tightly within my arms, I knew there was no chance in hell that I would ever give this up.

I cupped Emily's small face gently and whispered against her lips. "I've never wanted anything else, I never will." Our lips were soon connected again as we made up for all of the time that we had missed.

This was a new beginning for the both of us. I could never resist the love that I felt for Emily Fitch, the fire that was burning its way through my heart. It was futile to do so – a sin, for a better use of the word. She was a drug that I would happily remain addicted to for the rest of my life because there was nothing about her that could be bad for me. I didn't care, not as I looked deep into her eyes and saw nothing but reciprocated love. That was all I needed to know, that Emily loved me just as much as I loved her. Fuck rehab, at least this way I'd die happy.

**Sorry its been a while guys, had a lot of stuff going on but I'm making sure I finish this story soon so I'm trying to update as much as I can. So there's only going to be a few chapters left and this is the start to insane amounts of happiness and soon to be, lots of pent up sexual frustration. ;) Let me know what you think, your thoughts mean the world to me and your words make me smile, so keep them coming!**


	31. Chapter 31

**This is only a short chapter but it's filled with happiness and Naomily kisses so I'm hoping you will all enjoy it!**

Chapter 31

A romantic evening for two that I had prepared included candles, dinner and wine. To add another scoop to this bundle of cliché, it was all homemade. No ridiculously posh meal in a restaurant that may have well asked for you to sign over your soul as payment. I remembered that Emily liked ridiculous romantic movies that included evenings like this so I had decided to put it to the test as a surprise. I was a sucker for love, sue me.

It had been two days since mine and Emily's date and we had agreed not to see each other for a few days to savour the moment, but once this idea fumbled through my brain, I couldn't resist pursuing it. I had called up Katie and told her everything and she happily obliged to help after squealing down the end of the phone at how cute and pathetic I could be before taking it seriously after I threatened to hang up on her.

She had decided that she would take Emily out to London for the day and not bring her back until late so that I had enough time to prepare everything with no worries of her suddenly turning up. Emily had tried to object at first but after some persuading and moaning from Katie that she desperately needed some clothes, she finally agreed, much to my relief. Katie had come round the night before to hand me the spare key and said that she'd keep her up to date once they had left and when they'd be likely to come back. She had even been nice enough to leave a pack of candles out on the side and Emily's favourite CD that she told me to put on whilst we had dinner. Mayday Parade – Anywhere But Here, at least my girl had good taste.

Katie text me at 10:30 to say that they had left and were out of Bristol so I quickly got dressed and made my way into town to pick up the things that I would need to make this evening perfect. Emily's favourite meal was pasta bake so I grabbed the ingredients as well as a large bouquet of red roses and two bottles of wine before heading back towards Emily's flat.

Katie had told me that they had a foldable table kept in one of the cupboards for special occasions so once I arrived, I proceeded in pushing everything back to make room before bringing the table out and setting it up. I tidied up any form of mess and even hovered every room to make sure it was all spotless then I placed candles in any holders that I could find and on nearly every flat surface so that I could light them later on.

I started preparing the dinner so that it could cook slowly and be perfect for later. I poured some water into a saucepan and put it on the lowest heat so that I could add the pasta later on and began chopping tomatoes, peppers and onions to add to the sauce.

Once everything was prepared and cooking slowly, I took a shower so that I would have enough time to make myself look good without having to rush but I stayed in my tracksuit bottoms and vest top just to ensure that I didn't ruin my outfit whilst making dinner.

I found some paper and started cutting it carefully into smaller pieces so that I could write little notes on them. I planned on sticking them around the flat to make sure Emily saw them when she came in, adding to the mystery and hopefully excitement. The first note would be stuck to the wall in the hallway opposite the front door so she would see it as soon as she walked in and it would tell her to go straight to her bedroom. The second note would be on her bedroom door, telling her to change into the dress that Katie made her buy (Katie had said that she was going to make her buy the perfect dress) and wait until I slipped the third note under her door, this gave me enough time to make sure that everything was perfect. The third note would tell her that she could come out and head towards the living room where the final note would be on the living room door, telling her to close her eyes and knock and the rest was up to me. I even surprised myself by how truly cheesy I could be when it involved Emily.

Once they were done and stuck in place, it was already gone four o'clock and I received a text from Katie saying that they were on the train home and Emily would be back just before six o'clock so I quickly poured the pasta into an ovenproof dish and mixed it with the sauce before coating it in a thick later of cheese and putting it in the oven on a low heat. I cleaned up everything I had used and set the table, covering it with a dark red table cloth before putting down the plates, cutlery and wine glasses. I then ran into the bedroom and straightened my hair, curling it slightly and adding some make up before I changed into a black and white tight fitted dress that showed off my long legs and curves. I checked myself over in the mirror and smiled appreciatively, I could pull off the rock star look with ease but I dressed up well when I wanted to make an effort.

I was checking over every little detail when I received another text from Katie saying that they had just gotten off the train and Emily would be home within about ten minutes and that's when the nerves swarmed my stomach and I wished I was able to have a cigarette but I couldn't risk wasting anytime.

I was serving up dinner when I heard the front door open and I froze, stopping everything to make sure that Emily didn't hear me and think she was being burgled. I placed the dish down and crept up to the living room door so that I could hear her reaction. I could hear her cursing slightly mixed with rustling of bags and I figured that Katie had made her buy more than just a dress. The door closed and I heard her take a step before she stopped.

"What the…" She breathed, obviously seeing the note on the wall. I grinned; this was going exactly as I planned. I listened to her walk further down the hall and stop again, she was much closer so I could hear her better.

"Oh my god." She giggled and I imagined the amused grin that would be on her face as she opened her bedroom door.

Once I heard it close behind her, I quickly finished serving the dinner and placed it back onto the table, then I opened one of the bottles of wine and poured it out into the glasses before placing the bottle back into the fridge. I quickly lit all of the candles and turned off the lights; the room was encased in a beautiful orange glow and instantly gave off a romantic vibe. I closed the curtains and tidied away everything that I had used before taking a deep breath, straightening out my dress and quietly opening the living room door so that I could slip the note under Emily's door. When I was done, I stood beside the door with the remote control for the CD player in hand and a nervous smile on my face.

After a couple of minutes there was a knock on the living room door and I nearly jumped from being so nervous. I slowly opened the door, my eyes widening and the breath escaped my lungs from the sight before me.

Emily stood with her eyes closed and her lips pulled up into a cheeky half smile. Her hair was pulled up into a neat ponytail with a few tendrils falling around her face. She wore light make up except for the shadowy black eye shadow that sheathed her eyes and as my eyes travelled lower than her body, I swallowed hard and had to physically stop myself from forgetting the dinner and jumping her right there. Katie was a fucking genius and I'd make sure to send her a personal bunch of roses as my thanks.

The straps came down her shoulders in a V shape and dipped low between her breasts, showing off her delicious collarbones and the perfect amount of cleavage. The material was tapered in at the sides to pull it tighter around her waist before it cut off half way down her thighs, revealing her lovely long legs. The dress was black with a few hints of red through the material, and the added frills towards the bottom made it look much more like lingerie, not that I was complaining but my throat had gone ridiculously dry and I was struggling to move. Holy shit, this girl was most definitely going to be the death of me.

Finally managing to find the use of my legs again, I stepped forward and gently guided her into the room by placing my hand on the small of her back and giving her a small push, she moved forward and I allowed the door to close. I pressed play on the remote and the room was filled with the sound of 'Save your heart' and I saw Emily's smile widen. I wrapped my arms around her waist from behind and lightly kissed across her shoulders and up her neck. Emily gasped and shuddered within my arms.

"Open your eyes." I whispered softly and a second later, she gasped again but much louder as she took in the sight before her, raising her hand to her mouth out of surprise.

"Oh my god, Naoms…this is amazing!" She spun around in my arms with a bright smile on her face and her eyes sparkled with happiness.

"I wanted to surprise you." I murmured, bring a hand up to gently brush her fringe from her eyes and stroked her cheek.

"So this…this was all a set up?" She asked, sounding amazed.

I chuckled and nodded. "Yup, I think I'll forever be in Katie's debt for this."

"So will I, this is so beautiful." She leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to my lips before pulling back. "And you look incredible."

I grinned cheekily at her before leaning down to steal another kiss but pulled away before we could get carried away and pulled back, taking her hand and leading her to the table. We both sat down and she looked down at her plate, another bright grin pulled up on her lips and she shook her head.

"You're too damn cute." She giggled and took my hand over the table. "Thank you Naomi, this is perfect."

I smiled proudly and felt myself relax, Emily loved it and that was all that mattered to me. We ate in silence whilst shooting quick glances at each other before we'd look away again, both smiling profusely.

The night was a complete success. Emily loved the pasta and the wine and everything that I had done to the place. She teased me, saying that she never knew I could be so soppy and a blush coated my cheeks, but inside my heart was pounding hard with so much love. We cleared everything away after we finished before settling down on the sofa together, Emily cuddled into my side and buried her face into my neck, kissing my skin softly.

"I've never felt happier than I do right now." She whispered whilst stroking her hand up and down my arm. I could feel goose bumps beginning to rise.

"Me too, baby." I pressed a kiss to her forehead and held her tightly against me.

"You know, before you came back…I always wondered if I'd ever see you again. I wanted to call you everyday, I wanted to find you and apologise for everything and tell you that I didn't mean it but I was too scared. It still hurts when I think back to it, it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do and I hate myself for it." The sudden change of mood didn't go unnoticed and I heard her voice crack ever so slightly, it made my heart ache. I turned on my side and wrapped my arms around her, looking deep into her eyes.

"Ems, it all happened for a reason. We weren't strong enough back then, we needed this time apart for us both to grow up and realise what we wanted. It was hard and I hated it but I could never bring myself to hate you so you can't hate yourself. Everybody makes mistakes but we know better now." Emily sniffled and her eyes were filled with sadness but she nodded.

"I know, just now that you're back, I could never be without you again. I don't know how I did it back then because there's no way I could now. I'm ready for this; I want you and nothing else."

Her words were so sincere and her eyes showed nothing but love and it made my heart flutter in the most incredible way. I leaned in and captured her lips softly but passionately before pulling her flush against my body. Emily's tongue danced sweetly with mine and I slipped my hand around the back of her neck when she pushed herself on top of me, her body fitting perfectly against mine. Our legs tangled and our breathing deepened but we refused to part, not even as I began to get light headed, I didn't care as long as her perfect lips were attached to mine.

Unfortunately we had to eventually pull away before either one of us passed out. We gasped for breath and Emily pressed her forehead against mine, her intoxicating smell made me dizzy and I wrapped my arms around her waist.

"I love you so much." She whispered against my lips before kissing me again. I cupped her face within my hand and kissed her harder.

"I love you too." I breathed before she stole the air from my lungs with her intoxicating kisses.

We pressed a few lighter kisses to each others lips and skin and we snuggled together as Emily stroked her hand through my hair. My body was light and my heart was full of love and I knew that this would all I needed. Nothing else mattered as long as I had this beautiful girl and I was safe within her arms.

**I know it's really short but I hope you guys like it, I just wanted to throw this in before I get working on ending this story. There are still more soppy moments to come though so keep reading! Please review and let me know what you all think, it means the world to me!**


	32. Chapter 32

Another chapter already? Damn, I'm on a roll at the moment. Trying to get this finished as soon as I can for you guys having to wait so long for it! This chapter has an essence of happiness and sadness, but keep reading and you'll see that it all works out! I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter 33

"Holy shit!"

Effy's garage had been arranged precisely for me and my band to rehearse and song write in privacy. My brunette best friend had waited until it was finished to surprise me and the others with this master piece. Shock was an understatement to how I felt when I saw it. I pretty much screamed and pulled her into the tightest hug, wanting to throw her over my shoulder and spin her around until I remembered that she was too delicate for something like that, so I settled with squeezing the hell out of her.

The boys had been clearing it out in secrecy before decorating inside; laying down a fresh new black carpet and the walls had been painted white and grey. The light and dark colours contrasted well against the dim light, it was cosy but not too dark.

Sam's drum kit was set up towards the back where the room was largest so that he didn't struggle to get in and out. Ryan, Mike and Sally's guitars were placed just in front with enough space between them so that they could all move around without tripping over each other or the cables. My microphone stand was just a little in front of them but that wasn't such a problem since the microphone had a long cord so I could easily move without being in the way of the others. It was the perfect set up and I was stunned by the amount of thought and consideration that they had put into this.

There were even two sofas against the wall so that we had a place to relax, and beside them was a small wooden cabinet that contained paper, pens, music sheets and plectrums as well as a load of other bits and pieces.

"This is so fucking cool!" Sally exclaimed, her eyes wide with excitement.

"How the hell did you do all this?" Ryan asked curiously to a smug looking Freddie who simply shrugged his shoulders.

"My dad's good at turning shit holes into something useful so I asked him for a hand." He replied, acting as though it were nothing. Once I had finished choking Effy, I turned and practically dived on Freddie who was prepared and caught me in his arms, holding me tightly.

"You guys have no idea how much this means to me, to all of us." I sniffled, deeply touched by their actions. Freddie chuckled and rubbed my back affectionately.

"Actually we do and that's why we've done it. We'd do it all over again just to see you happy." He said, smiling softly and squeezed my shoulder in a caring gesture.

"Seriously, this is fucking incredible." Mike piped up after basically jumping around the room, cheering and clapping his hands like an excited child. I laughed at the ecstatic, cheeky grin on his face and for a moment, he reminded me a lot of Cook.

Sam stood beside Sally, clinging onto his girlfriend's hand as he looked around the room with a small smile on his face and nodded along with our praise. Anyone would have assumed that he was either rude or didn't like it but didn't want to say it, but we knew better. Sam was still trying to get used to being around my Bristol friends, he liked them a lot but his shyness and social anxiety made him close up whenever they were around. The poor guy was getting better but it was still hard for him. I could see the surprise and excitement within his eyes and once he was alone with us, he'd be gushing too.

"This is exactly what we needed!" I cried out happily.

"Good, I want to hear some good shit coming from here." Effy said as she slipped her arms around Freddie's waist and smirked to me. Me, Ryan, Mike, Sally and Sam all grinned at each other knowingly before I turned back to my best friend.

"You bloody know it." I boasted and punched my fist into the air like a dork. "This calls for a fucking celebration!"

.x.

I was so stoned that I couldn't even move from the sofa. My head rolled back and forth across the tip of the seat as I laughed hysterically at nothing in particular. The room around me throbbed with vibrant colours like everything suddenly sparkled. Endless amounts of spliff had been passed around, several cans of beer and a bottle of vodka had been consumed. I was so intoxicated that I felt like I was flying. To my surprise, even Effy had some, she avoided the alcohol but took a few, careful drags from the joint but I was pretty sure that most of the time she didn't actually inhale it, just held it in her mouth to look as though she was. Though she did have some so she got a little high, it was probably hard for a girl like her to break out of the habit of getting fucked up but she was doing well.

The garage was filled with all of my friends. Cook and Jess, JJ and Anna and Panda and Thomas had come over to join us, now all we were waiting on was our two favourite twins.

I was led across the sofa with my legs across Ryan who was as equally toasted as me, and every time we'd as so much as look at each other, we'd end up in a fit of laughter. I didn't even hear the door open because I was so gone.

"Fucking hell, what is in this shit?" I vaguely heard a husky voice say but me and Ryan were too busy rolling around in fits of giggles for me to bother acknowledging it.

We had even set everyone else off, Sam – who was normally too shy to say a word and would have probably fled the room if he were sober – was chatting away to Mike and Cook and was laughing openly, seeming completely relaxed and comfortable in himself. Effy, Panda and Sally were practically crying as they talked amongst themselves after giving up trying to hold a conversation with Ryan and me.

The sofa suddenly dipped beside me and I glanced up to see the most beautiful face known to man smiling down at me.

"Emssyyy!" I slurred as I tried to roll over to hug her but failed, feeling like a turtle that had been knocked onto its back. Ryan – whose lips were now attached to Katie's – felt my attempt and erupted in laughter, surprisingly the hell out of Katie as the two of us creased up.

"You…what the fuck was that?! You were like, like a fat person falling over!" Ryan laughed so hard that tears were streaming down his face and my ribs felt bruised as we cackled over him calling me a weeble.

"You fucking laughed in Katie's face! That was, oh my god, Katie, you should have seen it!" We laughed even harder; even Emily and Katie who were sober couldn't help but join in.

I made another attempt to hug my girlfriend but only succeeded in rolling off the sofa and face planting the floor with a loud thud. The room exploded into uncontrollable laughter, we laughed so hard that no noise came out except the sound of every sharp intake of breath. I started rolling around crying and banging my fists on the floor.

"Fucking, shut up! I'm gonna wet myself!" I managed to squeak out before Emily helped me up and back on the sofa as she perched on my lap. Her smile was so big and bright as she giggled at me and it still shocked me by just how beautiful she was. I crashed my lips against hers, tangling my hands through her hair to pull her even closer. A loud cheer from Cook and Mike set me off again.

"Fucking hell, give me some of that." Emily laughed as she reached across to grab the spliff from Freddie. She took a couple of deep, long drags before passing it to Katie who did the same. The passed it back and forth and soon enough, they were in the same state as the rest of us.

"Everything's so beautiful." Panda cooed as she started stroking Thomas's face like a cat. She started swaying on the spot, waving her arms through the air. "I'm flying!"

Anna imitated her whilst singing "I'm like a bird" before she stopped and started giggling.

JJ wrapped his arm around his girlfriend and said "you're my bird," sounding more confident than I had ever heard him before. I was biting my lip so hard to try and control myself from laughing, and that's when I realised that Freddie and Effy had left the room but I decided not to think about it, not that I was even capable of doing so anyway.

"Fookin' JJ!" Cook cackled and clapped his hands together. "That's the fookin' way to go mate, keep hold of this one, yeah?" JJ beamed at Anna and nodded quickly.

"You fucking couples, you make me sick." Mike shook his head but grinned madly, meaning no offense from it.

"We'll find you someone!" Jess chimed in, smiling politely at the boy but Mike scoffed and waved his hand.

"Nah, I'm good." He assured. I grinned wickedly and quietly started singing "All by myself." Everyone sniggered including Mike as well as flipping me off. Emily giggled and slapped my arm lazily, a failed shot at trying to tell me off for being mean.

"Don't worry mate, I'll find ya a top dollar shag." Cook patted Mike's leg.

It amazed me endlessly that Cook has actually settled in a relationship when he stilled seemed like such a womanizing sleaze ball sometimes. That was why I loved him, there were so many sides to Cook but deep down, he was a loving and considerate guy.

"We'll find you a nice girl, Mike." Thomas countered, still being as respectful as ever. He and Cook were polar opposites but I was glad that they had set aside their differences and become friends again.

Just then, Freddie and Effy suddenly reappeared and there was a weird vibe coming from them. Freddie's face was gleaming oddly against the light and he wore a smile that I had never quite seen before. His hand encased Effy's and the two looked ready to fight a war.

"Guys, I'm fucking thrilled to tell you all that…I'm gonna be a dad! We're having a baby!" He cried out, practically beaming as the room fell into a stunned silence except for me as I idiotically threw my hands up into the air, nearly smacking Emily in the face as I screamed "finally!"

Everyone looked at me in confusion except Freddie and Effy who smiled. The room burst into applause as everyone jumped up to hug and congratulate the happy couple on their wonderful news.

But that was until I looked back at the broken form of Katie Fitch.

Ryan was knelt in front of her as he pleaded his girlfriend to tell him what was wrong. She was frozen in place, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. And that's when I heard the most crushing, heartbreaking words to pass her trembling lips.

"I can't have kids." She sobbed, sounding completely and utterly shattered.

The room was once again stunned into silence by Katie's devastating revelation. The excitement, the happiness, everything was diminished by one terrible truth. My eyes were wide, my mouth agape as I slowly turned my head towards Emily who also had tears in her eyes, laced with sorrow and regret. She knew, and for a moment she had forgotten how much this would crush her twin.

Ryan had frozen. He stayed in place not uttering a word, just staring at his girlfriend like she had just slapped him around the face. She had, in a way, just with the cold harsh truth of reality.

In a fraction of a second, Ryan stood up and stormed out of the room. I whirled around as I heard the front door slam before I turned back to Katie's crying form, torn between whom to go to. Emily placed her hand on my arm, nodding at me with a sad smile. That was all I needed before I raced after my best friend in the night.

.x.

I apologise for the cliff hanger but hey, hopefully it'll make you guys excited for the next chapter! I'd really like to know if you guys are still enjoying this story, I know it's close to the end but it's still important to me to know your thoughts and opinions. Even if they are bad! If you have the time, please drop a review and thank you for reading!


	33. Chapter 33

_Thank you all for the reviews, follows, favourites and all that, it really means a lot to me. I intended on getting this up before but unfortunately work got in the way, but I'm here and I'm working on the next chapter so that should hopefully be up soon! Have a read and I hope you enjoy this chapter!_

Chapter 33

It didn't take long to find Ryan due to the fact that he had only gone outside of the house to sit against the front wall. I had gone out to find him with my mind fixed on kicking his arse for leaving Katie in such a vulnerable state after revealing something so devastating but once I saw the sight before me, all thoughts vanished from my mind and I found myself dropping to my knees beside him.

Ryan was sat with his knees pulled up to his chest whilst he cradled his head in his hands, scrunching his hair between his fingers. There were no signs of anger or annoyance coming from him; he just looked utterly crushed as his body shook with deep sighs.

I wrapped my arms around him and clung to him tightly as he buried his head against my shoulder. That was when I realised that he was crying ever so slightly and I felt like someone had punched me in the chest, it hurt to see him look so devastated. I rubbed his broad arms comfortingly and held him until I felt him eventually begin to calm. He pulled back and smiled a thank you but I could see the sadness reside within his eyes. I pulled out two cigarettes and handed one to him.

"Talk to me." I whispered after lighting up. It wasn't a demand, just a light persuasion to let him know that I was there to listen. Ryan took a deep drag and heaved a sigh.

"It's fucked up, man." He said, sounding lost. I didn't say anything, just waited for him to continue whilst I gripped onto his hand.

"Nobody should have to go through that, especially not Katie. You have some girls' out there that don't give a shit about their kids; it's just a fucking fashion statement to have one. But Katie, you can see it in her eyes and the way she acts that she'd be a great mum." He paused and rubbed his hand across his face.

"We know the shit that Sam's mum put him through and there's so many cunts out there who can be parents and all they fucking do is abuse them. There's so much shit in this world and some people are just evil, I've had to watch you all suffer from the hands of someone else and now the fucking girl who I'm falling in love with can't have children when she fucking deserves them." He stopped again to take another pull. I was grounding my teeth so hard that it felt they would crumble and I was squeezing his hand with all of my strength.

"I know we haven't been together long and it's crazy to even think about something so serious but I'm fucking crazy about her. There's something about Katie and this way she makes me feel, I just can't describe it. All I know is that she's it for me, she's everything that I want and I hate seeing her hurt like this. Who knows, we might not even last as long as I'd like but if we do, I would have liked the option of us having kids together, especially after seeing how happy Freds and Effy are…That's what I want, you know?"

I had to force myself to smile and nod through the tears that were trickling down my face. His speech had really shaken me and I tried to think about how I'd feel if roles were reversed. I didn't want kids with Emily now or anytime soon but I liked having the option that we might one day. To have that taken away when you were so smitten with a person, when you were certain that you'd happily spend your life with them…the thought was indescribable. I couldn't imagine how it must have felt for either Ryan or Katie, the pain I felt for them was hard enough.

"Of course you do…" I began before pausing and shook my head. "Shit Ryan, I don't even know what to say." I admitted sadly but he smiled in return.

"It's okay. Fuck, what do I do Naomi?" He asked in confusion. A part of me wanted to say that I didn't know, seeing as it were true but I knew I had to do better than that, Ryan needed it.

"You love Katie, right?" Ryan nodded his head quickly.

"Does this make you love her any less?" His eyes widened in shock at my question and he stared at me as if I were crazy.

"God no!" He exclaimed.

"Then go to her. Katie's vulnerable and she's scared, she needs you right now and she needs to know that you love her because if I know her like I think I do, she's probably blaming herself right now." I squeezed his hand and gave him a reassuring smile. "If this is worth it like you think it is, you'll work this out."

Ryan nodded and I helped him to his feet, he pulled me into a hug and I clung to him, wanting to shield him away from the pain. We broke apart and I guided him back towards the house.

As we stepped through the front door, the first thing we saw was the twins stood in the hallway with their coats on, ready to leave. They glanced at us simultaneously; Emily gave a small smile but Katie's head dropped straight to the floor, avoiding making eye contact with either of us. Ryan had frozen to the spot again but after a gentle nudge, he smiled at me before striding forward and enclosing Katie into his arms before she could protest. She tried to shove him at first, obviously angry that he had walked out but Ryan didn't budge and after a few seconds, she broke down into his embrace.

Emily stepped towards me to give them space and slipped an arm around my waist as I watched the couple through teary eyes. My chest ached for them, they were both deeply important to me and they deserved to be happy, I just hoped that they would work through it together.

Ryan kissed Katie's forehead and took her hand, they began to walk away to talk in privacy but I felt the need to say something to the older twin.

"Katie!" I called, causing them to stop and look back at me and I suddenly felt at a loss for words, so I said the one thing that I knew she'd understand to have a deeper meaning.

"I'm sorry." Katie tried to smile but she struggled so she nodded instead and mouthed "Thank you."

Once they were out of sight, I grabbed Emily and wrapped her tiny form in my arms. I buried my head into the crook of her neck, sighing as I inhaled her comforting scent, making me feel at least a little better than I had a few seconds ago. Emily enveloped her arms around my neck and pressed her body into mine as much as she could, both of us were trying to seek the comfort that couldn't be found in words.

"You okay?" She asked after a while as her hands softly caressed the back of my neck.

"Yeah, just horrible." I murmured.

"I know baby, it'll be okay." She assured me and I believed her instantly.

"Come on." I said as I pulled back and slipped my hand into hers. "Freds and Effy are probably in shock right now." I felt bad for them; their happy news had instead ended in tears.

We made our way back into the garage and found everyone still there. Freddie and Effy were cuddled on the sofa together as they laughed at Panda and Anna who were excitedly suggesting baby names. Everyone stopped and smiled carefully when we re-entered, I let go of Emily's hand so I could pull the couple into a hug.

"I'm really happy for you guys."

"Thanks Naoms." Effy replied with a small smile.

"Hey Emily, if I had known about Katie I wouldn't have made such a big announcement…" Freddie began but Emily cut him off.

"Don't take it personally. Sometimes she's okay, others she's not but I know you didn't mean to upset her; she's just a bit sensitive to the subject. But she's happy for you, I know it." Emily explained with a gentle smile.

"Poor Katie, it must be tough." Thomas said sadly.

"I couldn't imagine anything worse." Jess agreed as she cuddled against Cook who kissed her hair lovingly.

Everyone agreed and said something similar as they all tried to understand what the poor Fitch was going through. I encased Emily's hand in my own as she smiled at their support.

"Just try not to talk about it when Katie's around because she tends to react in two ways. She'll either get upset like just now or she gets angry, and nobody likes an angry Katie, our mum learned that the hard way." We all chuckled. The majority of us had been on the receiving end of Katie's anger at least once. I could clearly remember being shoved into tables and getting slapped around the face so I definitely wouldn't be pissing her off anytime soon.

After a while everybody decided to either leave or go to bed, including me and Emily. Emily had decided to stay since Ryan and Katie hadn't remerged from the bedroom and she didn't want to disturb them.

We led within the dark room with only the glow from the street lamps to see. Emily rested her head upon my chest whilst I rubbed my fingers through her silky hair. The effects from the spliff and alcohol were wearing off so I was crashing hard, sleep eagerly wanted to consume me, especially with the warmth and comfort of Emily being led beside me.

"I hope they'll be okay." I mumbled sleepily, referring to Ryan and Katie.

"Me too." Emily agreed quietly.

"How long has she known?" I asked curiously. Emily stayed quiet for a moment whilst her fingers stroked my stomach.

"Since the end of college, I'm not sure exactly when, it was a while after until she told me." She replied eventually.

"Shit, that must have been so hard for her." I shook my head sadly; sympathy for the older twin swam through me.

"It still is, sometimes she'll be okay but sometimes it'll get to her just as much as when she found out. It completely changed her, she stopped acting and dressing like a slut, she even stopped dating for a long time. She started taking pride and respecting herself, it's the reason why we're so close now, we were all that we had when everything else went to shit." I nodded my head in understanding; it now made sense why Katie had changed so much. It was definitely nice and worth while but she didn't deserve to go through something so horrible to make it happen, just like I had.

"Ryan was devastated."

"Then why did he storm out?" Emily asked with a hint of annoyance of which I could understand as it had looked pretty bad at the time. I reached across and grabbed my fags off of the bedside table and lit one. Emily sat up and shuffled back against the headboard so that we were sat side by side before she pinched one for herself with a cheeky grin.

"Ryan's really sensitive sometimes; he needed some space so that he could get upset without everyone watching, but it mainly got to him because of Sam, he's like Ryan's little brother. Family means everything to him, he's always wanted one of his own especially after everything that happened to Sam, things like this pisses Ryan off." I tried to explain whilst Emily listened intently.

"What happened to Sam?" She asked curiously and I cringed just by thinking about it.

"Sam…he's the most amazing guy that I've ever met - the most amazing person really. He's so shy and scared of everything but he's always happy, always positive and he loves everyone, he'd do anything for anyone which is incredible considering what he's been through. It affects him obviously but he deals with it, he doesn't allow it to control him. He's terrified of people who he doesn't know and it makes him panic but he forces his way through it, he could be so fucked up but he isn't. Sure, he has issues but who doesn't? It's mostly thanks to Ryan that Sam didn't end up the wrong way." I thought of my skittish blonde friend and smiled with pride.

"Sam's mum was nothing but a drunken slut. Why she kept Sam but treated him the way that she did is beyond me. She'd get trashed every night then would come back and take her anger out on Sam, right from when he was little. She'd sometimes bring back strange men who would join in. She'd just constantly beat the crap out of him especially as he got older; he said that it's amazing how he managed to survive it. From the age of twelve he started drinking and self harming, it wasn't long after that he started taking drugs; he was even addicted at one point. After he met Ryan, Sam was going to leave to try and find his dad who was just as fucked up as his mum but Ryan stopped him. He convinced Sam to live with him and managed to get Sam help; he pulled him through the hard times and looked after him.

A few years later, he met Sally. Apparently they just clicked, everyone was surprised that Sam would be able to trust a woman after what his mum done but he could and they've been together ever since, they all did everything to get Sam through it. Ryan has been so protective of him, he's been protective over all of us, says that he sees us like family. Ryan had a good family, he saw just how beautiful families could be when everyone treated each other with love and respect and he believed that it should be the same for everyone else so it makes him furious when he hears how some families can be."

"Fucking hell." Emily breathed out, her voice laced with shock and disbelief.

"Yeah, that's why Ryan got so upset. How can someone like Sam's mum conceive a child but Katie can't? It's a fucked up world."

"Yeah, it is." Emily said, sounding sad from the revelation. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her temple.

"But it's the past. Sam's okay, I'm getting there and so will Ryan and Katie, he loves her." Emily smiled and kissed my lips gently before snuggling closer to me.

"I hope so." She said and yawned loudly.

I giggled and led down next to her as I pulled her closer and relaxed at the sound of her calm breathing. For a while even after Emily fell asleep, I led and stared up at the ceiling with so many thoughts running through my mind. This world was definitely fucked up in some ways, some people were selfish and some people were made to suffer because of that. Nobody should be able to mess up someone's life in such an impacting way but unfortunately they could and most of the time, they even got away with it. People were cruel; it scared me to think of what they were capable off, though I already partly knew since I was once at the hands of someone's fucked up and selfish needs.

I knew I wouldn't sleep well with these thoughts in my head; it was a recurring problem when I thought back to the past or something unsettling. But with Emily in my arms, I led down and snuggled into her, feeling safe and protected when I was beside her, and I was slowly able to fall into a distant slumber.

_I hope this wasn't so bad, don't forget to leave a review to let me know!_


	34. Chapter 34

This chapter literally just came out of nowhere. I had started planning it and suddenly my imagination just took off and this is what came out of it, so I hope it's good. We're probably about four or five chapters away from the end of this story but I'm not sure, I thought it was going to end a lot sooner but I keep finding things to add in. Anyway I'm going to shut up and let you guys read, I hope you like this chapter and let me know what you think! :)

Chapter 34

_I was stood alone in an empty darkness. I glanced around in confusion, I hadn't been here before. It was eerie, ominous, and it chilled me straight to the bone. A sense of dread washed over me, consumed me, made me want to curl up in a ball and hide away from the world. That's when I heard it, the screeching of tyres on a road but as I frantically looked around, I was met by nothing but darkness. _

_I was frozen to the spot, paralysed by fear and the hollowing feeling of emptiness and utter destruction. It was all I could smell, all that I could breathe. Every inch of my body began to ache and hurt in unbearable ways, a throbbing sensation exploded behind my skull and it threatened to cripple me. I wanted to scream but there was nothing but the sound of silence until a devilish laugh rung through my ears and I wanted to escape it. _

_Suddenly, I was stood face to face with the devil himself, an evil man who wore nothing but a sickening, smug grin on his face. I hated him, hated him so much that it overpowered everything that I had ever felt before. But I feared him; just the sight of him shook me to the core and turned me into a quivering wreck. I knew him, I knew that he was truly the one and only person who could destroy me, who could kill me just by looking at me, and the sight itself made me want to die right there and then. _

_He laughed at me, laughed until he was shaking himself silly, laughed until I felt like nothing within his presence. I fell to my knees as he toward over me and I looked up at him, silently pleading him to just leave me alone. But he wouldn't, he was evil and sadistic, and I was nothing but his favourite toy. He reached out to slap me but his hand froze midway and we both glanced it in confusion. Suddenly, I was back on my feet and I leapt at him, wrestling him to the ground. I clutched at his throat, pinning him until he was struggling and gasping for breath and I felt powerful. I laughed this time and the sound pierced through the endless ringing in my ears, it made it stop. He was nothing, he had no power and I grinned with glee. _

"Naomi!"

I suddenly jolted awake at the sound of someone shouting and the vice like grip that they had on my arms. My eyes shot around wildly and my heart slammed painfully against my chest. My skin was coated in a sheen of sweat and I was panting heavily like I had run a bloody marathon.

I finally managed to calm down once the fogginess passed and I could see Emily leaning over me with a concerned look on her face. I sat up slowly; I turned and placed my feet down on the fluffy carpet. My elbows dug into my thighs as I cradled my head in my hands, I sighed at the migraine that was quickly spreading through my skull.

A pair of slim legs appeared on either side of mine and arms wrapped around my waist as Emily pressed against my back. She gently brushed my damp hair aside and began pressing light kisses to the back of my neck and shoulders. I relaxed a little and leaned back into her embrace, cherishing her warmth and the comfort of her body against mine.

"Bad dream?" She asked as she rubbed her hands up and down my arms. I nodded slowly and grabbed my fags, lighting one to quickly draw in a needed dose of nicotine.

"Yeah, they had stopped for a few days but this was different." I mumbled, smiling slightly as Emily rested her chin upon my shoulder.

"How so?"

"I…I don't really remember now, it was just different to normal." I lied, not wanting to talk or think about it. If Emily noticed, she didn't push it.

"Its okay baby, I'm here to look after you." She whispered sweetly. I turned my head to quickly capture her lips with mine.

"I know." I smiled properly this time.

Emily stayed with me all morning even as I got a bath, she kneeled by the side of the tub and gently rubbed a sponge over my tired shoulders with such affection that I couldn't stop myself from smiling at her with so much love that it made my heart swell. She blushed as she glanced at my naked body but she didn't try anything, we were still sticking to our agreement but I could feel the sexual frustration wanting to take over with every kiss that we shared but we always pulled back before it could go any further.

We eventually headed downstairs to have breakfast and we found Freddie and Mike in the living room watching TV. They both smiled as we entered, Freddie was practically glowing.

"Where is everyone?" I asked as we sat down, noticing that the house was oddly quiet.

"Ryan and Katie went out before any of us were up, think they wanted some privacy." Mike answered first.

"Eff's gone shopping with Sam and Sally, we were thinking of having a barbecue today." Freddie replied afterwards. I glanced out of the patio doors; it looked gorgeous outside so it was definitely a good idea.

"That's cool." I smiled back at them.

"Actually Naoms, there was something that I wanted to ask you but I wanted it to be between us." Freddie said somewhat nervously and I was instantly curious. Emily giggled and pecked my lips before standing up.

"I'm gonna go home anyway so I can get changed but I'll be back soon."

"Okay baby." I grinned up at my love.

"I'll walk you out." Mike jumped up and the two left the room, giving me and Freddie some privacy.

"So what's up, Freds?" I asked once we were alone.

Freddie quietly but quickly explained everything to me and I nearly exploded with excitement. It was a fucking awesomely adorable plan and I was so happy that Freddie wanted me to be in on it. We made arrangements that would make the whole thing even better before Freddie handed me a piece of paper with a few sentences on and I ran off to the garage, ready to set to work on finding something suitable to add to it.

Mike was already there with a notepad on his lap, a pen hanging out of his mouth and his bass guitar beside him. He showed no signs of noticing me enter, seemingly too deep in concentration, so I grabbed a pen and flopped down on the opposite sofa. I read over Freddie's words, smiling because they were actually pretty good and it made it a lot easier to work on. I sat and thought of their relationship, I thought of love, how beautiful but terrifying it could be and my mind began to swim with possibilities. It was going to be as much as a surprise for Freddie as it would be for Effy; I had to make it perfect.

I grabbed my acoustic guitar and began alternating between different melodies whilst reading through the lyrics, editing pieces and changing words and adjusting the tuning until I found something that I could imagine going to the song. I wasn't sure how long I was in there, I got lost within my mind and within the music that my fingers were producing on the guitar strings. I hummed along to the tune, imagining in my head the way that I would sing certain parts, which parts would be softer or more powerful than the others. I hadn't even realised that I had gained an audience; I was away in my own little world.

"That sounds so fucking beautiful." I snapped my head up in surprise to see Sam, Sally and even Ryan stood by the doorway, watching me with a gleam in their eyes. Mike was still on the sofa but he had also stopped what he was doing to watch me.

"Thanks." I mumbled slowly. "It's just a working piece, something that Freddie asked me to do."

"I think it's time we got writing together." Ryan said as he grabbed his guitar and sat down beside me. Sally did the same but sat beside Ryan whilst Sam grabbed a notepad and sat on the floor in front of us.

I put the new song to the side, feeling proud of myself for what I had managed to create from something so little. I grabbed a fresh piece of paper and began to jot down a few more lyrics that could be used for something different, just an idea to get us started.

"We're thinking of having a barbeque today, so I think that we should write something new and fresh so that we can play it. So much has happened recently, I'm definitely ready to start writing something serious." I said to them and they agreed.

"I've got something." Sam said as he held up his notepad. "I've been thinking about this a lot, how everyone has helped us get through and made us become who we are today." I read the words and beamed.

"That's brilliant, Sam. I can totally go with that."

I slipped down on the floor beside him so that we could compare lyrics, giving our own ideas and adding our thoughts onto the paper. We'd write something and then show each other so that we could all give our thoughts and opinions and anything that we'd like to add to it.

"I think that we should change this part." I said before writing something different beside it.

Sam read it and grinned. "Yeah, that works a lot better."

That's what I loved with them, it made being in a band so much easier when we were all best friends and had gone through nearly everything together. We all valued each other's opinions, and never got offended when we offered up an idea that we thought would work better. We worked as a team to create something beautiful that we could all relate to, it was something that we all loved doing and we fucking did it well.

After, we worked on getting the parts for rhythm and lead guitar so that we could add the bass and drums to it afterwards. Everything just seemed to be flowing perfectly into place, there were no frustrations or struggles to get something right because we just seemed to know what would fit. Although we all had different ideas on what we thought it could sound like, they were all vaguely similar but we were capable of knowing when something sounded better than others.

It wasn't long until we had the song and the melodies for each instrument, so all I had to work on with Ryan was the singing. I could hear it all in my head so I hummed out the words whilst they played so that I could hear where I needed to change parts and improve them. After a while, we were ready to properly play it through for the first time so we all got into place like we would if we were performing and began to rehearse.

"This is fucking sick!" Mike howled after we finished for the fifth time. We were all buzzing with adrenaline and laughed together.

"I think we've got it!" Sam yelled over the drums.

"We're going to need a shit load of extensions so we can get this all outside." Ryan laughed and I felt like slapping myself.

"Shit, I forgot about that! Is there anyway that we could do it?"

"Sure, we just need to make sure that we do it properly, and pray that it doesn't rain." He chuckled. I thought for a second before I came up with an idea.

"I think I know someone who can help. My dad used to be in a band so I'm sure he'll know what to do."

"Awesome, well let's rehearse and write a bit more and then we'll work on getting this set up." Sally yelled before shredding her guitar in enthusiasm.

.x.

"How's it going out there?" Effy asked as I emerged from the garage to grab a couple of drinks.

"We're sounding good." I grinned happily. "Hey, would you mind if we could drag everything out into the garden if we can set it up properly? It would give the songs a better sound quality, especially with what we have prepared."

"Fuck no, I might be pregnant but I still know how to enjoy myself." Effy smirked cheekily.

"Also, is it okay if I invite my mum and dad? I'm gonna see if Keith can help us to set up, and I'm sure they'd like to see us perform."

"Its fine, Naoms. I haven't seen your mum in a while and I'd like to finally meet Keith."

I giggled and pulled the brunette into a hug before I went back into the garage to continue working. Everyone had taken a quick break to have a smoke and I handed them their drinks.

"Effy said its fine for us to take everything outside. I'm gonna call Mum and see if Keith's around." I grabbed my phone and quickly dialled her number. After a few rings, she finally answered.

"Naomi! I was worried you wouldn't call, love." Gina answered eagerly.

I chuckled. "Hey mum, sorry I've been a bit busy. We're having a barbeque today, would you and Keith like to come? I was wondering if he could help us set our instruments up outside."

"Of course, love. Let me just ask him." She said and I heard a muffle of voices in the background.

"He said he'd love to help. When would you like us to come over?" Gina returned after a few seconds.

"As soon as possible, if that's okay?"

I gave them the directions before hanging up, knowing that they'd arrive soon and we needed to get prepared. We took Sam's drum kit apart so that we could move it when the time come and made sure that everything else was ready to be moved before we all left to get changed into something more suitable. I put on some white skinny jeans with a long grey vest top and fluffed up my hair then I ran back downstairs when I heard Emily arrive.

Katie was with her and she looked much happier than what she had the night before. I grinned at her and pulled her into a hug, silently letting her know that I was glad that she was okay and she had my support. I kissed Emily's lips gently before following everyone else outside where they were getting everything ready for the barbeque. Freddie and Sam had pulled out two big sheets and led them over the grass, saying that we could put our equipment on top so that they wouldn't get muddy. The barbeque and tables had been set up across from it so that they wouldn't intercept but there was still enough room for everything and everyone. Drinks and food were placed onto the table including plates and cups and everything was just about ready for them to get started on the barbeque and it wouldn't be long until everyone begun to arrive.

I received a text from Gina saying that they were outside so I ran to the door so that I could let them in. She and Keith beamed at me when I opened the door for them and they pulled me into a hug.

"You look beautiful, darling." Gina cooed in my ear whilst she hugged me. I pulled back with a smile.

"So do you, mum. Everyone's outside, we're just waiting for the others." I said as I led them through the house towards the garden.

"Effy has a lovely home." Gina said, looking around. It was obviously a surprise considering the way that Effy was as a teenager.

"So what is it that you need help with, Naomi?" Keith asked as we stepped outside.

"All of our equipment is in the garage and we want to pull it out here so that we can play." I explained and led them over to my band mates who were watching us intently. They grinned at me as we approached.

"Guys, I'd like you to meet my mum and dad." I said and pointed out to each of them. "This is Ryan, Sally, Sam and Mike, my best friends and band mates from Cornwall."

"It's a pleasure to meet you both." Ryan said politely and held his hand out. Keith shook his hand as well as the others but Gina hugged them all instead, making me laugh at their surprised expressions.

"I can definitely see where Naomi gets her good looks from." Mike said cheekily and I nudged him playfully for being such a cheesy cliché.

"Right, come on lads." Keith clapped his hands together and smirked at them. "Let's get everything out here; I've been dying to see Naomi perform properly."

"She's rather talented, I can tell you that." Ryan grinned proudly at me.

They walked off, leaving me alone with Sally and Gina when Emily bounded over to us. She and Gina greeted each other with a hug like they were old friends and I loved seeing them so at ease around each other. It was definitely a great thing that everyone around me all got along together.

"Ms Campbell, you've got to tell me what Naomi was like as a kid, has she always been stubborn like she is now?" Sally teased and jumped out of the way before I could hit her.

"Oh love, please call me Gina. Naomi unfortunately gets her stubbornness from me but I'll tell you what, she can definitely give me a run for my money. She was one hell of a stroppy teenager, always moody and would throw a paddy whenever she couldn't get her point across." The two giggled and I felt my face begin to burn as I tried to hide my smirk.

"She's still like that." Effy said as she walked up to us, throwing a wink in my direction when I glared at her.

"Effy! It's great to see you, sweetheart." The older blonde quickly wrapped Effy in a hug.

"It's great to see you too, Gina. How have you been?"

"I've been very good, thank you love." Gina took a step back and held the brunette girl at arms length, looking her up and down. "I must say Effy, you look so beautiful, and you're practically glowing." Effy stepped back and I wrapped my arm around her shoulders with a grin.

"That's because she's pregnant, mum." I informed her and Gina's eyes widened with excitement.

"Really?" She exclaimed happily.

"That's right, Gina. We're having a baby." Freddie appeared behind us and stepped forward to give Gina a hug and kissed her on the cheek before slipping his arms around Effy's waist.

"Oh that is wonderful; I'm so pleased for the both of you. It's going to be one beautiful child, that's for sure."

"It sure will be, it's going to be a little heartbreaker from the moment it's born." Sally agreed.

Just then the guys reappeared with some of the equipment and began setting it up before going back inside to get the rest. I sat down on the grass and pulled Emily onto my lap, leaving Gina to talk to the others about Effy's pregnancy. Emily turned and wrapped her arms around my neck and grinned beautifully at me, taking my breath away once again.

"Are you looking forward to this?" I asked her, nodding my head towards our set up.

Emily nodded eagerly. "Yeah, I love seeing you perform. It's beautiful and sexy at the same time, just like you." She smirked cheekily and kissed me softly.

"I'm glad you like it." I whispered as I rubbed my nose up and down the length of hers.

It wasn't long after that everyone else started to arrive. I got up to greet them all and they happily greeted Gina too. I introduced her and Keith to the ones who hadn't met them yet and soon enough everyone were getting along and talking happily whilst eating the delicious food that had been cooked. The air was filled with the sound of laughter and happy conversations as the drinks began to flow with ease. It was such a beautiful day and our moods reflected it and I felt so relieved to have all the people that I cared about around me.

Our makeshift stage was soon finished and it looked good, nothing looked like it was about to get damaged and all the cables had been safely tucked away so that nobody would end up tripping over them. We turned on the amplifiers and made sure everything was set up properly before we turned the volume down slightly so that we could tune everything. I stepped up to the microphone once the others were ready to go.

"Hey guys." I spoke into the microphone even though everyone was already watching us with excitement. "So I'm really glad that everyone is here today, we've wanted to do this for quite a while but I didn't really expect us to go to this extent." I joined in with the chorus of chuckles.

"We've actually finally wrote a few of our own songs which we are going to perform, we're both excited and nervous for you all to hear them and we're going to play a few covers just for entertainment. We're called The Dysfunctional Riot and we hope that you enjoy this."

I took a deep breath and stepped away from the microphone as the music roared to life around me and I was lost from the moment the sound hit my ears.

"This song is called 'Can You Keep a Secret?'"

.x.

_Yup, the song that they are about to perform is the song that I used for the title of this story. It's by the Cab and I love it, although the lyrics might have no relevance to the story, I just thought it'd make a good title. Check it out if you haven't already heard it._

_The next chapter is going to be about their performance so it'll include Naomi jumping around, singing and getting hot in the sunlight, which I'm sure you can all appreciate. I've already got a list of songs that I'm going to use but I'd love to know your opinions, and Freddie's surprise will also be included in the next chapter so stick around. ;) Please leave a review; they do make me rather happy!_


	35. Chapter 35

I apologise if this chapter isn't that brilliant, I've been having a hard time recently so writing happy scenes like this is quite difficult when you can't put yourself into that mind frame. I was going to upload this yesterday but I went out and got a bit drunk instead so I came home and crashed out haha. But either way, I hope you guys enjoy it and let me know what you think.

Chapter 35

The sun was pounding down upon me as I jumped around to the music. My top was stuck to my body and my hair was damp, I was completely out of breath and burning up but I was too fucking into it to even care. We had only played a few covers but everyone was into it and we were building up to the good stuff. The guys had even created a mini mosh pit during the heavier songs but they mainly just fell over and started laughing due to being intoxicated, which made it hard to sing when I was trying so hard not to laugh at them.

The song ended and I led down on the sheets to try and catch my breath. It had cooled down a bit compared to how hot it was earlier but I was still exhausted and we were nowhere near the end. I was having a great time but I didn't realise how hard it would be to perform within the boiling heat. The guys obviously thought the same as they had all removed their t-shirts where as me and the girl's were still in our vest tops, which reminded me that I desperately needed to change out of the one I was currently wearing. I jumped back onto my feet and approached the microphone.

"We're gonna take a short break or I think I might die."

I chuckled and grabbed a bottle of water to wash the dryness from my throat. Emily bounded up to me and threw her arms around me with a bright smile on her face. I felt disgusting so I quickly pulled away from her and held her hand instead but I was pretty sure that my smile matched hers.

"You were amazing up there, baby." She appraised me, causing me to blush slightly.

"Thanks. I'm going to quickly go and change, I feel so gross." I kissed her lips briefly before shooting back inside.

I grabbed some white board shorts and a white vest top before I slipped into the bathroom so that I could freshen up. I pulled my hair into a rough ponytail and fixed my smudged make up before heading back outside so that I could continue. That was when I noticed that someone new had arrived since I had been away and was talking to Effy, Freddie and Emily. Even from the back, I recognised her straight away from the dark brown hair with pink streaks through the sides and her familiar tanned skin. I decided to approach them so that I could greet the newcomer when Mike jumped in front of me with wide eyes and his mouth hanging wide open.

"Who the hell is that?" He practically begged as he pointed towards the girl. I recognised the look on his face and smirked knowingly.

"That's Freddie's sister, Karen." I answered and his eyes widened more than what I thought was possible.

"Damn, you have to introduce me." He said eagerly. I chuckled and patted his broad chest then cringed when I realised just how much he had been sweating.

"Come on then."

Karen was squealing and hugging Effy, practically shaking her around like a rag doll, I guessed that she had taken their news well. I approached with Mike in tow and Emily smiled brightly when she saw us and that was when Karen finally turned and noticed me. Her eyes widened slightly and she smiled somewhat nervously, she was probably expecting me to be bitter towards her due to what happened between her and Emily.

"Naomi, it's good to see you…you look good." I rolled my eyes but grinned at the girl.

"I look like shit, but thank you, it's good to see you too, Karen. I wanted to thank you for looking after Emily whilst I was away." I couldn't help but smirk when Karen's face burned red, as did Emily's. I chuckled and stepped back to reveal Mike who was practically bouncing on the spot behind me.

"This is my friend, Mike." Karen's face lit up when she took in Mike's appearance and a flirtatious grin pulled up on her lips.

"Hi, I'm Karen McClair, Freddie's older sister." She introduced herself sweetly.

Freddie scoffed. "And the pain in my ass."

Karen shot him a warning glare before she turned back to Mike who was grinning like an idiot. I giggled and left them to it as I pulled Emily away and wrapped her up in my arms. I was gazing happily into her big brown eyes whilst we smiled at each other like love sick puppies when Keith approached us. He wore a big grin and he pulled me into a tight grip when I pulled away from Emily and lifted me up into the air with ease.

"I'm so fucking proud of you, kid." He said once he put me back down and I noticed that he had tears in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry for not being around to watch you grow into the beautiful young woman that you are." He sniffled as he took my hand in his. I was shocked and I felt my heart twinge slightly and I couldn't stop myself from hugging him again.

"It's okay, dad."

"No it isn't but I promise that I'm going to make it up to you. Whatever I can do, just let me know." I smiled warmly at his words and nodded.

"Good, now get back up there and rock this place." He patted my arm encouragingly and we chuckled.

I ran off to gather the others before we stepped back onto our makeshift stage. We had decided that we would start playing the songs that we had written this morning so they jumped straight into the music as I stepped up to the microphone once again.

"We're back and this next song is something that I wrote this morning after the way that a dream made me feel. This is called War of Change."

The music behind me was heavier than anything that we had written or performed before but it felt so right and hit me on a whole new level. I was so nervous about singing something that held so much meaning to me because it was based on a feeling that I couldn't quite place. I took a deep breath and began to sing.

_"It's a truth that in love and war, worlds collide and hearts get broken._

_I want to live like I know I'm dying, take up my cross, not be afraid."_

The pace of the song sped up as well as my singing which was something completely different to anything that I had done, it was a mix between fast talking and singing and I had to remember when I had to take a breath in case I messed it up.

_"Is it true what they say, that words are weapons?_

_And if it is, then everybody best stop steppin'._

_Cause I got ten in my pocket that'll bend ya locket,_

_I'm tired of all these rockers sayin' come with me."_

I was relieved that I had managed to do it without messing it up and it made it so much easier to carry on as we broke into the chorus. Everybody was cheering and pumping their fists in the air, encouraging us even more. I felt my body begin to loosen its grip on the previous tension and I started jumping and threw my head around to the music.

_"Wait, it's just about to break, it's more than I can take._

_Everything's about to change._

_I feel it in my veins, it's not going away._

_Everything's about to change._

_It creeps in like a thief in the night,_

_Without a sign, without a warning._

_But we are ready and prepared to fight,_

_Raise up your swords, don't be afraid._

_Is it true what they say, that words are weapons?_

_And if it is, then everybody best stop steppin'._

_Cause I got ten in my pocket that'll bend ya locket,_

_I'm tired of all these rockers sayin' come with me_

_Wait, it's just about to break, it's more than I can take._

_Everything's about to change._

_I feel it in my veins, it's not going away._

_Everything's about to change."_

I was stood on top of the amplifier pumping my fist in the air and miming the lyrics whilst Ryan shouted the next verse and I glanced towards Emily. She was nodding her head along to the music but she had a slight frown on her face but she smiled when she realised that I was looking at her. Her eyes silently asked me to tell her what was going on, I had seen the expression so many times so I knew it well. She had obviously realised that I had lied to her this morning about the dream. But I gave her a smile and nodded my head to tell her that I would talk to her about it later.

_Ryan: "This is a warning, like it or not._

_I break down, like a record spinning._

_Gotta get up, so back off._

_This is a warning, like it or not._

_I'm tired of listenin', I'm warning you._

_Don't try to get up."_

_Naomi: "There's a war going on inside of me tonight, so don't be afraid._

_There's a war going on inside of me tonight, don't be afraid._

_Wait, it's just about to break, it's more than I can take._

_Everything's about to change._

_I feel it in my veins, it's not going away._

_Everything's about to change."_

Everybody burst into applause once we had finished and I sighed with relief that it had gone so fucking well. It definitely felt good to get something like that out even though I knew it was going to involve a load of questioning.

The dream that I had this morning was different to what it was usually like. Normally he would appear to me, beat me up, rape me, laugh at me and I'd be haunted by the sights and smells of the night. But never had it ever turned around, he always had the power over me because I was so afraid of him being in my life in case it happened again. When I had that dream, I felt as though something was going to change. Something big was about to happen, I didn't know what but I had a strong feeling in my gut that I was stronger than him now. I was prepared to fight, I felt like he couldn't scare me anymore.

"Fucking hell." I chuckled into the microphone and brushed my damp hair out of my face. "That went better than I expected and I'm glad to see that you all enjoyed it."

"You fookin' rock, Naomikins!" I heard Cook holler and everybody laughed including me.

"Cheers Cook, glad we've got our own little fan base going. This next song is actually for each and every one of you, it's something that we all wrote together this morning to show you all just how much we love and appreciate you all for everything that you've done for us, even when times have been hard. This song is called Be Somebody." I picked up my acoustic guitar and began strumming as Ryan burst into the first verse.

_Ryan: "I'm just the boy inside the man, not exactly who you think I am._

_Trying to trace my steps back here again, so many times._

_I'm just a speck inside your head; you came and made me who I am._

_I remember where it all began, so clearly._

_I feel a million miles away; still you connect me in your way._

_And you created me, something I would've never seen._

_When I could only see the floor, you made my window a door._

_So when they say they don't believe, I hope that they see you and me."_

The song had a beautiful melody as it started fast paced but soft. Everyone was watching us with smiles on their faces that showed that this song was already going to mean a lot to them as it did to us. That's when I joined in and me and Ryan sang together in synchronisation.

_Ryan and Naomi: "After all the lights go down, I'm just the words, you are the sound._

_A strange type of chemistry, how you've become a part of me._

_And when I sit alone at night, your words burn through me like a fire._

_You're the only one who knows who I really am."_

_I burst into the chorus with a lot of power to emphasize the meaning behind the lyrics whilst Ryan sang quietly with me as Sam finally started bashing the drums to join in._

_Naomi: "We all want to be somebody; we just need a taste of who we are._

_We all want to be somebody; we're willing to go but not that far._

_And we're all see through just like glass,_

_And we can shatter just as fast._

_This light's been burned out for a while; I still see it every time I pass._

_It was lost in the coldness of my mind, behind a box of reasons why._

_I never doubted it was there, just took a little time to find._

_And even when,"_

_Ryan and Naomi: "I feel a million miles away; still you connect me in your way._

_And you created me, something I would've never seen._

_When I could only see the floor, you made my window a door._

_So when they say they don't believe, I hope that they see you and me._

_After all the lights go down, I'm just the words, you are the sound._

_A strange type of chemistry, how you've become a part of me._

_And when I sit alone at night, your words burn through me like a fire._

_You're the only one who knows who I really am._

_We all want to be somebody; we just need a taste of who we are._

_We all want to be somebody; we're willing to go but not that far."_

_Ryan: "I'm just the boy inside the man, not exactly who you think I am._

_Trying to trace my steps back here again, so many times._

_When I could only see the floor, you made my window a door._

_So when they say they don't believe, I hope that they see you and me."_

Another round of applause and this time I had tears in my eyes as I watched some of my friends who were smiling brightly whilst crying. They were touched by the words and that was exactly what I was going for. I placed my guitar back down.

"That song was for all of you. We love you so much and we could never truly show you just how much but I think that did a good enough job." I giggled as they all shouted "we love you too!" in unison.

"This is the last song that we've got for now, and this song is about looking towards the future. This is called New Horizons."

The tune to this song was a lot happier compared to the others but it was just as meaningful. I jumped around and danced with a smile on my face.

_"So you're tired but you're alive, so open up your eyes._

_And you can get your sleep when you are dead,_

_Kill the clock inside your head._

_Bring your normalcy to the edge,_

_And watch it drown in new horizons, new horizons._

_You said I'd only have to wait until I die, and that's no time._

_How did we come to thinking this was funny?_

_Cheering and laughing at the dying, while we're riding the light in you."_

The smile on my face was so large that I was almost worried that my lips would split as I sung the chorus. I didn't care, I felt so light and carefree like nothing could get to me, and all I had to look forward to was the future with all of these beautiful people in front of me.

_"Wait, you said I'd only have to wait until I die._

_(Ryan: New horizons.)_

_There is no such thing as time,_

_Inside this moment, no sun rises._

_Wait until I fly (new horizons.)_

_Wait until I fly (new horizons.)_

_Life floods in with a new conquest,_

_Life floods in with a new quest._

_Here's a voice for the voiceless,_

_And a song for the soulless,_

_Life floods in."_

As we burst back into the chorus, I was so full of adrenaline that I decided to run and jump on top of the bench where everyone was sitting and threw my hand up into the air as I sung and everyone clapped and cheered.

_"Wait, you said I'd only have to wait until I die._

_(Ryan: New horizons.)_

_There is no such thing as time,_

_Inside this moment, no sun rises._

_Wait until I fly (new horizons.)_

_Wait until I fly (new horizons.)"_

I kneeled down quickly as I sung to the smiling faces in front of me with a grin of my own that matched theirs. I felt so good that I just wanted to laugh and hug them all.

_"When the times keep going wrong and we go right._

_When the times keep going wrong and we go right."_

I jumped off the table and ran to the stage as we got into the chorus for the last time. The song ended and I nearly launched my microphone up into the air as I threw my hands up. I burst out laughing as Sally put her guitar down and jumped onto Sam's lap just as Katie ran up and engulfed Ryan into a hug. But I tried to run out of shock when I saw everyone else run towards me and Mike and dog piled us onto the ground. We all laughed with happiness as we rolled around and hugged each other as well as playfully hitting one another. Emily smothered me with kisses and praised me on how good it was and I felt within that moment that my heart was going to burst. I didn't care for anything in that moment, because nothing else mattered. For the first time in so long, I was well and truly happy and nothing in the world could change that.

.x.

Forget what I said at the beginning, as soon as I got into writing this chapter, I couldn't stop until it was finished. I think it went pretty well, but I'll leave it down to you guys to decide on that one. So please let me know what you think. Also, I know that I said Freddie's surprise would be in this chapter, well I decided to cut it in half but it will definitely be in the next!

The songs in this chapter are by two of my favourite bands. The first two are by Thousand Foot Krutch and the last was by Flyleaf. I do not own anything about these songs, I just love them a lot and I felt that they went well to how Naomi was feeling and progressing with her life. I hope to have the next chapter up soon as there are only a few left unfortunately; I'll be so gutted once this story is over!

I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it, so please let me know! :)


	36. Chapter 36

This chapter is finally here, filled with fluff and smut, something of which I'm sure you've all been waiting for. So, I'll just let you get reading. ;)

Chapter 36

The rest of the evening had gone amazingly well after our performance. It was beginning to get late and the sun had started to set, casting a scattered mixture of orange and red streaks through the garden and across the trees. The sky was a dusky blue that contrasted nicely against the brighter colours; it gave a beautiful atmosphere to a lovely evening.

The barbeque had been put away and the guys were making a bonfire for the sake of light when it begun to get too dark. Everyone apart from Freddie and Effy were already fairly drunk from all of the drinks that had been cracked open. I had a fair few and was slightly tipsy but I was keeping in control because I still had a very important performance coming up and I didn't want ruin it. We were waiting for the perfect moment, or at least Freddie was and I was just waiting for the signal to start.

Emily was cuddled into my side and was giggling like mad at a joke JJ had made, although it wasn't actually that funny, it was amusing to see her reaction. The poor thing was a little wasted but she was an adorable drunk so I didn't mind and I couldn't help but smile widely at the sound of her musical laughter.

I was deeply intrigued by a guitar battle that Keith and Ryan were having. I had never heard Keith play before but he was fucking incredible, Ryan was bloody good but this was just insane. They were pulling off some pretty awesome riffs whilst Sally and Sam watched and cheered them on, I couldn't resist the temptation that came over me. I ran over to them, threw my arms around Sally and Sam and began head banging like I was at a heavy metal gig. I heard Sally erupt in laughter and the next thing that I knew; I could see her hair flying all over the place as she joined in. There was a loud chorus of laughter and I stumbled as the motion made me light headed, resulting in me falling over and pulling Sally with me who practically fell on top of me. We rolled around in a fit of giggles on the cold grass before she wrapped an arm around my waist and squeezed me.

"Naomi, you're such a legend!" She cackled and I kissed her forehead affectionately.

Sam giggled above us and held out his hands to pull us back up. Once I was on my feet, I dove into my favourite blonde boys arms and held him tightly, snuggling against his chest. Sam wrapped his arms around me and tightened his grip, dropping a kiss onto the top of my head as he rocked us slightly. Sam and I weren't ones to talk about our feelings as it made us both uncomfortable so we showed it through acts of affection instead. I knew this would tell Sam that I was ridiculously happy right now and from the way that he had responded, I knew he was too. Sam had wanted to get away from Cornwall for quite a while but he never had a way of doing so, I was glad that I was able to help him with one of his dreams; it was the least that I could do.

I pulled away from the boy before running over to my giggling girlfriend, grabbing her around the waist and spinning her around in my arms. She laughed happily before we both collapsed onto the ground as I pulled the petite girl into an embrace. Emily leaned over me and gazed into my eyes, she looked so beautiful within the darkness of the night with nothing but the glow from the fire to light up her delicate features. She kissed me gently and I quickly found myself deepening it within a moment of heated passion and I began to wonder why we had decided to wait in the first place. I loved Emily more than anything, she was everything that I had ever wanted and I was certain that she felt the way same way. We were stopping ourselves from doing something that we both wanted so badly, something so beautiful that it connected us on a whole new level. If it wasn't for the fact that we were surrounded by our friends and family, I certainly would have forgotten and made love to her right there and then. At least I knew this now for when I took her to bed later on, and I think she knew the same as she pulled back with a smirk, her eyes dark with want and desire. It was hard to resist someone who made me feel so many things through one simple touch.

I cuddled with my favourite red head beneath the night's sky, cherishing the sound of laughter which came from everyone who was important to me. This was definitely a night to remember, a memory that would stick within my mind that I would always look back on with fondness bubbling in my heart. This was the day that I knew everything was going to change, the day that my life would finally start taking a turn for the best, forgetting the worst. I'd forever be grateful for this day as it was what made me realise what I wanted for my life which was love and happiness and everything that I felt within this moment.

Everything had begun to calm down and the air around us was relaxed. I looked up just as Freddie made his way towards us and from the smile on his face, I knew it was time. I stood up and pulled a drunken Emily with me, kissing her softly as I whispered that I had a surprise. I grabbed my acoustic guitar and quickly adjusted the sound before I switched on the amplifier for my microphone. Everyone suddenly looked at me with surprise written across their faces except Freddie who smiled brightly.

"I've got a very special surprise, one that I am so happy to be involved with. This song is written for a certain lovely lady who we all love so much who is about to start a family. This is the night where our lives change forever, where we all finally move on and grow up and start lives and families of our own. Freddie asked me to write this so this is for the both of you, congratulations guys." Everyone cheered as Freddie took Effy's hand and pulled her against his body, dancing slowly as I begun to pluck the strings to start the melody.

_"From everything I've seen, everything good just goes away._

_I've never had a taste of heaven without a little hell to pay._

_All I ever needed was someone to give instead of take,_

_But something about you makes it right to give it one more try._

_And I don't wanna believe, if I can't believe in you._

_And I'm ready to fall if you're the one I fall into._

_Tell me I'm the one 'cause baby, I don't want to waste another day._

_I don't wanna believe if I can't believe in you."_

Tears pricked my eyes after I finished the first chorus as I watched the dancing couple. Their silhouettes glowed against the light of the fire as they moved in perfect synchronisation, gazing at each other lovingly as they shared passionate kisses. Everyone was watching them with the same expression that I'm sure I also wore, except Emily who alternated between them and me. She smiled at me in a way that made my stomach flutter.

_"I've never been so scared, I was going nowhere but now you're here._

_I'm holding you too tight; pushing you away is my darkest fear._

_I don't wanna break you; I don't wanna make you disappear._

_I feel a deadly kind of pain, but you take it all away._

_And I don't wanna believe, if I can't believe in you._

_And I'm ready to fall if you're the one I fall into._

_Tell me I'm the one 'cause baby, I don't want to waste another day._

_I don't wanna believe if I can't believe in you._

_I've given you what's left of me,_

_So you can put me back together._

_You've given me what I've needed all along."_

As I began to quieten my voice, Freddie bent down onto one knee and pulled out a small black box and held it open up to Effy. She covered her mouth with her hand as she stared at the ring that was encased within it before she took it carefully and placed it on her finger then she suddenly threw her arms around Freddie and kissed him hard as he lifted her up and spun her around. Everyone screamed and cheered at the newly engaged couple and I couldn't stop the tears that were spilling down my cheeks as I grinned like mad as the end of the song slowly faded out. I placed my guitar down and switched off the amp before I ran and embraced them both, crying happily along with them.

"Thank you Naoms, that was so fucking beautiful." Effy sniffled as she hugged me. I grinned at Freddie who also had tears of happiness running down his face.

"Thank you so much." He whispered, also hugging me tightly. I shook my head and smiled at them.

"I was honoured to do that for you, seriously." I said warmly. Effy grabbed my hand and beamed at me.

"Will you be my maid of honour?" She asked excitedly and I giggled at her.

"You don't even need to ask, babe."

"I can't believe it, I'm getting married!" She practically screamed as she threw her arms around Freddie's neck, pulling him in for a heated kiss which I knew was going to quickly increase.

"Thank you, everyone." Effy panted once she pulled away, turning to all of our friends. "But I have a fiancé who needs seeing to." They giggled as they ran hand in hand towards the house as we all roared with laughter and cheered them on.

The atmosphere was almost static from the vibes of love and lust as everyone seemed to glance at their partners, I knew that we were probably all thinking the same things which were both amusing and disturbing but inevitable after something so beautiful. The fire was put out, our instruments and equipment were put away and the garden was cleared before everyone eagerly decided to depart. I said goodbye to my parents at the front door after they both continuously hugged and praised me on my performance. I had to admit that it filled my heart with so much warmth and I felt proud of myself, knowing that they were proud of me but I kind of wanted them to hurry up and leave so that I could return to the red head who was waiting for me by the stairs.

Once they had left, I turned towards Emily. My eyes scanned her body, taking in every inch of her, drinking in her beauty like it was water on a dreadfully hot day. She was biting her bottom lip, her eyes dark as her gaze fixated upon me. My legs began to move, bringing me closer to her before I even had time to think about what I was doing, but it didn't matter as I pushed her up against the wall and crashed our lips together.

Nails clawed the back of my neck and tongues tangled as we pushed and pulled each other in the fight for dominance. In the end I decided that we were getting nowhere, so I pulled away and grabbed her hand, dragging her upstairs to the bedroom. She slammed me against it in an attempt to close it as well as kiss me and the air left my lungs as my back crashed against the wood, causing me to gasp. Her lips were on me and her hands were everywhere as her fingers caressed and raked my skin and my clothes were shredded from me in less than a few seconds. My fingers tangled roughly through Emily's hair, pulling her even closer as she bit down on my bottom lip and I moaned into her mouth. I ripped off her clothes and she thumped me back against the door if I even as slightly moved away from it. My body was burning and throbbing with desire as her lips glided down my neck, sucking on my pulse point to leave me with a mark. My chest was heaving with quick breaths as she began to slip lower down my body and I dragged my nails up her back before she was too far away. Emily hissed at the obvious pain but it seemed to spur her on as she nipped at the skin above my hip bones, causing me to cry out slightly.

Emily glanced up at me as she slipped her hand between my trembling thighs, parting them slightly. Lust raged within her deep brown eyes but it was swirled with love and affectionate and I had forgotten how overwhelming it was to want her so badly when she could fuck and make love to me at the same time. Her eyes stayed fixed on mine as she slowly slipped her tongue across my clit and the sensation nearly brought me to my knees. Her tongue stroked me once again and I threw my head back against the door as a moan slipped through my parted lips. A finger soon added to the glorious mixture as she alternated between the two until I literally felt as though I was about to explode.

"Ems…I need you." I whimpered, her incessant teasing felt so good but it was driving me crazy.

Emily giggled against me and the vibration against my tingling centre was enough to make me moan. She grabbed my leg and lifted it over her shoulder as her tongue suddenly plunged deep within me. I cried out in surprise and grasped for the end of the door frame, needing something that would help me stay up right. Her slick muscle worked inside of me, twirling and flicking in ways that had me gasping and trembling as my orgasm quickly began to reach its peak. But that was nothing compared to the feeling of her fingers slipping against my clit before they dove inside of me. My body jolted, my hips thrusting with the movements of her fingers as she pumped them in and out of me. My back arched, my eyes were squeezed shut, my nails were digging into the wooden frame as I screamed and swore worse than a drunken sailor.

I cried out her name as the orgasm rippled through me after she curled her fingers and thrust against me. My head was spinning, sweat coated my skin and I was gasping for breath as my muscles turned to jelly and I slipped down onto the floor. Emily pulled me until I was sat on top of her with my legs wrapped around her waist when she started kissing and biting my neck once again. Her nails roughly raked my skin and I bit down on her shoulder to stop myself from screaming again but she gasped loudly and her hand quickly slipped between us. I pushed myself up onto my knees to give her better access and tangled my fingers through her hair, roughly pulling her lips back to mine. Emily's fingers were inside me once again, pumping hard and fast as my hips rocked to the rhythm, I buried my face into her neck to muffle the sound of my cries. She held me against her as her other hand caressed my back before slipping down to grab my ass whilst her fingers slammed into me. Another orgasm tore through me within a matter of minutes and I collapsed against Emily's naked chest, panting and gasping heavily.

"Oh my god, holy shit…" Was the only thing I managed to whisper between deep intakes of breath. Emily brushed the damp hair away from my face and kissed me gently.

"You're so fucking beautiful." She murmured before kissing me again, massaging her tongue against my own until I felt some of my energy begin to return and I managed to push her onto her back, grinning mischievously.

"Allow me to thank you properly." I growled before dropping my head towards her chest, pulling a nipple gently between my teeth.

Emily gasped and grabbed fistfuls of my hair in her hands as I sucked and tweaked her nipples with my tongue before slowly moving down her body, trailing my tongue down her taut stomach. My hands brushed up and down the insides of her thighs as I moved lower, slowly stroking my tongue up her centre, groaning at her taste as my fingers worked against her clit.

"Fuck." A loud moan rang throughout the silence of the room as I lifted her leg over my shoulder.

"I love you so much." I whispered as I slipped a finger inside of her, grinning as her body arched and she moaned even louder.

"You're everything to me, Emily. And I want to spend my life so I can kiss and fuck you every night." I said as I pushed my finger even deeper into her, watching the way her chest rose and fell with every pant and her eyes flickered shut.

"Does that feel good baby?" I asked as I curled my finger, stroking the wall of her centre.

"Yes." She whimpered as I sped up my movements.

"You're so irresistible." I moaned as her hips thrust against me.

I added another finger and began pumping faster and harder before dipping my head back to her centre and swirled my tongue over her clit, unable to resist her taste any longer. Emily cried out repeatedly as I fucked her hard, pouring all of my sexual frustration into the way I moved my fingers inside of her. I loved the sound of her moaning my name and feeling her muscles around me as I pushed her closer towards the edge. I moved back up so that I could feel her lips and tongue upon my own as I curled my fingers and threw her over the edge.

Emily screamed my name and gripped me tightly within her arms as her back arched and she fell apart beneath me. I kissed her over and over again, riding out her orgasm until her muscles stopped quivering. I removed my fingers from within her and wrapped her arms around her, lifting her up into my arms so that I could carry her towards the bed where I intended on making love to her until the sun rose and fell once again. I led her down onto the soft sheets before crawling on top of her, cherishing the feeling of her naked skin against my own. Her sweet smell was intoxicating and I was drunk on her presence and I wanted to do nothing more than explore every curve of her beautiful body. Nothing was going to break me away from our love nest for a while, I wanted the whole world to hear our screams of passion until we were too tired to carry on and fell into a glorious, naked slumber.

.x.

So I haven't written a sex scene in quite a while so I hope this wasn't too bad. The song used in this chapter is called I Don't Wanna Believe by Hinder. I do not own this song in any way, everything belongs to them. There's probably about two chapters left of this story, it's so saddening! Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this and be sure to let me know! ;)


	37. What You Give, Is What You Get

Thank you all so much for the lovely reviews! If I could squeeze you all, I most definitely would! Right, I'm going to get straight into this. I am both excited and nervous to upload this chapter because it's very important, I think it's what you've all been waiting for since I very first published this story over three years ago (which is fucking insane, might I add!) So hold onto your seats or duvets or whatever is currently surrounding you, because this is hopefully the chapter that will make you all scream or gasp or cry with happiness, or maybe even all three! I really hope I display this right as this is the chapter that I've wanted to build up to since I was only sixteen and really had no clue where to go with this story! Enjoy!

Chapter 37

What you give, is what you get.

Four months had passed since the night of Effy and Freddie's engagement, although it felt like it had been longer considering how our lives had changed within such a short period of time.

Everything had fallen into place and we were all happy with the direction our lives had taken. We had found happiness within this place and the people around us. The past was finally behind us, it was dead and buried and had finally been laid to rest whilst we moved towards the light of our future.

It was strange; sometimes it seemed unnatural to feel so happy when there had been a cloud of darkness that would follow me wherever I went. It had been a part of me for so long, something of which was so foreign but connected to me, something that I knew so well but couldn't quite understand.

There were times that I would forget about everything but there were also times that I'd find myself forgetting how to be happy. It would never last long but it was inevitable after everything that had happened and it was going to take more than a few months of happiness to make it completely go away. I was still a fucked up person deep down, I just knew how to control and ignore it now.

Emily helped a lot with it, over the past few months she had grown to know me better than anyone else. She knew when I was up or down, she knew how to handle me if I ever had an episode. She had learned when to leave me alone and when I just needed a cuddle or to cry about it. She never got annoyed or fed up with my mood swings, she had been nothing but fucking wonderful and she kept me under control if I ever felt as though I was going off the rails again. The thing that helped the most this time around was the fact that I wasn't afraid to talk to Emily about my feelings and if I couldn't find the words, I'd show her a different way. It worked better than I believed it would but Emily had proven to be everything that I needed. Not only was she my lover, she was my best friend, my rock, my anchor. The more time that passed, the better I became and the thought of a life long happiness didn't seem so terrifying.

I had moved with Ryan into Emily and Katie's apartment. We had all managed to find jobs and decided it was time to move out so that Effy and Freddie could have their privacy as a newly engaged couple and expecting parents. We had intended on moving with Mike, Sally and Sam until the twins gave us the option of moving in with them so we decided to give it a shot. Keith – my dad – had helped us both out, giving me a job as a receptionist within his tattoo studio and had given Ryan advice on becoming a private guitar tutor whilst he worked part time at Rob Fitch's gym.

I loved my job, I could dress however I liked and I scheduled appointments for consultations, tattoos and piercings. There was always good music blasting through the speakers and sometimes I even spoke to the customers about their designs and the best part was getting to watch Keith create something so beautiful – even if their ideas were shit – and mark their bodies with it forever.

I had grown to love tattoos and piercings even more after working there for a while and I agreed to get one, allowing Keith to design and tattoo an acoustic guitar with a microphone wrapped around its neck on the inside of my forearm just below my elbow. I had become addicted after that and I constantly craved to get more but I didn't want to rush any ideas, they had to be meaningful.

The other great thing was the fact that I had options within this job and I had the chance to go further, being offered the chance to take a body piercing course and Keith was also able to take me on as an apprentice if I really wanted to do it. I was deeply considering it but I was going back to college to study new subjects and improve my results so that I had the option to build a future within a career but it was nice to know that I had a path to take for after. It was weird when Emily and I would spend some nights studying together whilst passing either a spliff or a bottle of vodka between us. It made me feel as though I was seventeen all over again, before all of the bad stuff happened.

It was a chilly October Sunday morning and I was with Emily visiting Gina and Keith. I was sat at the kitchen table with a cup of tea looking over some of Keith's new designs whilst listening to Gina and Emily talking in the living room with the sound of the TV in the background. It felt so normal to do this now that it had become a comfort and I often looked forward to our weekly visits. We had almost made it a tradition to go there at least once a week to have tea and build up the relationship that was once lost. It was lovely, I had grown to trust Keith and it filled me with warmth to see the happiness between the two of them. They both absolutely adored Emily too which definitely helped. Sometimes we'd all sit in the kitchen and chat or we'd lounge in the living room watching TV for hours on end, sometimes it was nice to just be within their company.

"These are awesome." I said to Keith as I flicked through his most recent sketches.

He beamed at me. "I've got some more upstairs, hang on." He placed his mug in the sink before leaving the room.

I smiled after him and continued to stare at the drawings. Keith was certainly a talented man, his drawings and tattoos were just incredible. I noticed that Emily and Gina had gone quiet in the other room but the TV was louder so I decided to pick up the drawings along with my cup of tea and join them.

That one simple action caused a chain reaction that forever changed my life. If I had stayed in the kitchen I never would have seen that news report. I never would have realised that my life had changed without my knowing, I never would have felt the way that something within me shifted. If you didn't believe that things happened for a reason, even something so simple that could have easily been seen as a coincidence, it wasn't until something like this happened to make you change your mind.

I walked into the room with a smile on my face as I watched my girlfriend and mother watching the TV together until I looked up and saw just exactly what they were so fixated upon. If my heart could have stopped without killing me, it certainly would have then. My movements came to a sudden halt, the air left my lungs and every inch of my body froze.

I felt sick, felt as though someone had kicked me straight in the stomach. My eyes were wide, my mouth hung open in pure shock. I couldn't tell whether I was about to throw up or cry. I had no idea whether I wanted to laugh or run away. I had no idea how I was supposed to feel. It was a mixture of everything, it hit me all within seconds, every single emotion that I had felt within the past three years came rushing back and overwhelmed me, wanting to push me back under. I had adjusted so well to feeling scared, to fearing everything that even when my mind finally comprehended exactly what it was seeing and hearing, it still scared the living shit out of me. Seeing that face whether it was in real life or in my dreams, it made me want to drop dead.

"_John Foster, 42, was shot dead yesterday afternoon after assaulting a police officer and holding an underage girl – who's name has been undisclosed – hostage. After receiving an anonymous call that Foster had kidnapped and was holding the girl hostage, the police went in to investigate the accusation. Upon finding the girl who had been tied up and sexually abused by Foster, he had tried to escape but was stopped by the young officer who was then attacked. John Foster was shot purely out of self defence and was pronounced dead on arrival."_

Papers scattered, porcelain shattered as tea splattered across the wooden flooring. It was him. I recognised him straight away from the photo, and he was dead.

They were upon me within seconds as I collapsed to the floor, not caring that I fell straight down onto the shards of porcelain which were now cutting through my skin. I couldn't breathe; I forgot how hard it was just to see his face through waking eyes. Everything that he had created, everything that he had destroyed, all of the pain and fear…it was over.

"Naomi, Naomi talk to me please. That's him, isn't it?" I could hear Emily's pleading voice but it was muffled. My sights were set on the screen, everything around me faded out. I didn't need to answer Emily's question, she already knew the answer from my silence.

He was dead. After everything, he was finally gone. I didn't need to fear him anymore but it hadn't sunk in; it didn't seem real even though it was. But he had destroyed another person's life and it was worse than anything he had ever done to me. How many other girls' had he raped and left for dead? I had wondered this before but here was the proof that he was some sick, perverted bastard who got pleasure out of hurting young, innocent girls' and destroying their lives.

"What is wrong with her?" I heard Gina say and I could just about make out the panic in her voice.

"Imagine fearing someone for so long and then discovering that they can't hurt you anymore." Was Emily's reply as she held me in her arms and that's when it finally clicked, that's when the tears begun to flow.

"He…he's dead." I managed to whisper after oxygen began to fill my lungs once again.

"He's gone Naoms, he can't hurt you anymore." Emily said as she cupped my face between her soft hands and made me look up at her. She had tears of her own falling down her cheeks as she smiled at me.

Something inside me erupted and I clung to her as I sobbed into her chest. Harsh, painful sobs that racked my body as every memory, every nightmare and emotion flooded back to me. I laughed aloud as I cried the tears of shock and fear finally turned to relief as it finally settled within me that this nightmare had ended. I had prayed that this day would come for so long but I never thought it would, I thought he would get away with the shit that he had caused but he had gotten exactly what he had deserved. The only thing that I wished for was that it had been me who had killed him but now that he was dead, I didn't care, I was just grateful that someone had finally ended his pathetic existence.

Gina and Keith were cradling us, the four of us sat on the floor holding each other as we all cried, sharing our shock and relief. There was a part of me that wanted to get up and sing and dance but not yet, as odd as it sounded, I couldn't celebrate yet. I needed to cry, I needed to let it all out after so long of keeping it built inside. Karma fucking existed and that bastard had experienced it at its strongest.

It was as though a weight had been lifted and even though my chest ached with so many painful memories, I felt light. I felt like a whole new person, the broken pieces of who I was were slowing beginning to sow themselves back into place. I knew there was no way that I could erase the memories that were carved into my brain but now I could live my life without fearing ever seeing him again or him hurting me again.

He had completely and utterly destroyed every inch of me but it wasn't until now that I realised just how weak he actually was. Although he came to me as a monster, he was still human and he could feel pain just like the rest of us, he could still fucking die. I realised that I was actually the strong one, I had been broken in one of the worst possible ways but I had taken the pieces and slowly tried to put them all back together, I didn't hurt anyone in such a horrible way. I grew and made myself into a better person because of it and it had made me appreciate that there was actually some good in this world. People like him, they were weak and pathetic but at the end of it, they got what was coming to them.

Emily kissed away my tears and I smiled brightly at her through the tears. She returned it softly and I was glad that I didn't have to explain myself to her, she knew everything that I was thinking and feeling and she'd wait for me to talk about it. Gina and Keith grabbed me and pulled me into a tight hug, cradling me in their arms like they were scared to let me go in case something caused me to crack again.

"Are you okay, baby?" Gina asked as she brushed my hair away from my face. There were tears in her eyes and she looked scared for me but there was no need for it.

I couldn't answer; it was as though I was high as a grin pulled up on my lips and I threw my head back and laughed hard. I laughed until my ribs hurt, I sort of felt sadistic for laughing at someone's death but he wasn't just someone and in a way, it was the only way that I could really express just how relieved I felt. There were no words to express it, there was no possible way that I could even try to explain how it felt because I couldn't even understand it myself. There was a light at the end of the tunnel and it fucking showered me in its beautiful essence.

"I want to fucking dance on his grave." I growled with an evil smirk. Gina's eyes widened in shock to hear me say such a thing but Keith cackled hard.

"That's my fucking girl. I hope that bullet killed him nice and slowly."

I rolled my head back and released a deep sigh; it felt good to be able to breathe again. Emily slipped her hand into mine and gave it a gentle squeeze as I got back onto my feet. I glanced at the TV, they were still talking about what had happened but I just couldn't bear the hear anything more about it. Someone had handed me a second chance at life and I wanted to enjoy it, even if it sounded selfish. It was about time after everything that I had been through which was all down to one selfish person, I had the right to just want to forget about it for a while.

I wrapped Emily in my arms and I breathed in the sweet scent of her hair, it was something that had always helped soothe me. I felt so different, like a whole new person or a blind person being able to see for the first time. Everything felt new, I needed to explore and discover everything again because nothing felt so tainted anymore. The black cloud that had constantly lingered above my head had finally fucked off and everything seemed so much brighter, my life had been shadowed by darkness and the light had finally pierced through the clouds.

"I can live again." I said loud enough for them all to hear and Emily squeezed me tightly. It was the only thing that I could say that would explain just a little of how I was feeling in this current situation.

Emily kissed me gently and my heart soared into the sky. "It's over." She whispered against my lips before pulling me back into her arms. I couldn't quite believe that this had all just happened within a matter of minutes but Emily's words were so true, it was the only way to explain it.

"It's over." I repeated as I reached out to take Gina's hand in mine as she held onto Keith's. They stood around me with matching smiles and similar expressions that revealed just how relieved they were that this had finally ended. Their daughter and girlfriend would no longer be haunted by the sheer thought of one man's existence.

"It's finally over."

.x.

I'm hiding under my duvet right now and I'm not coming out because I'm scared of your reactions. How many of you was expecting this or expecting it to be John fucking Foster? I never originally planned for it to be him; the thought literally came to me the other day.

Was it any good? I'm really nervous about this chapter; I actually had tears in my eyes whilst I was writing it. It was so hard to properly try and explain just how Naomi would feel in that kind of situation. I really hope I did okay. So it's finally over for her, and after the next chapter which will be set a few years in the future, so will this story which is just so sad. I've come so far with this story, it's sad to see that it has finally come to a close.

Please let me know what you think, it would mean the world to me, even if it's bad. There may be a few mistakes, I quickly proof read it but I kind of rushed because I really just wanted to upload it. I love you all.


	38. The End

Who watched The Crash with Lily Loveless the other day? Oh my god, it was so heart breaking and I can't get over how beautiful she looks! Especially whilst she was dancing and the "I lost my hat" scene, man it made me want to cry. Okay, enough soppyness! This is the last chapter for Can You Keep a Secret! I just want to say thank you to each and every one of you before you start reading but I'm going to write up an authors note to post afterwards to explain about how this story started so if any of you have any questions at all, feel free to fire away! Here it is the last scenes!

Chapter 38

The End

_5 years later_

"Is everything ready?" I asked Cook nervously as he finished pinning the fairy lights to the wall and ceiling.

"Sure is, Naomikins. Wines in the fridge, lights are up and the bed is extra bouncy. You're set up for a good night." He wiggled his tongue and I smacked him playfully.

"Shut up, you know that's not what this is about." I said as I anxiously fiddled with the ring on my finger. Cook stepped forward and wrapped me in his arms.

"She's going to love it. You know red's crazy bout ya." He assured me and I smiled against his broad chest.

"I hope so, this has to be perfect."

"Stop worrying your pretty little head off. Now, I have a wife and kid to get back to but I expect a text in the mornin'. I know ya'll be too busy tonight." Cook laughed and danced out of the way as I tried to smack him once again. He pressed a kiss to my head and made a quick escape.

I released a deep smile and smirked after my best friend as my heart began to pound within my chest. I wiped my hands on my jeans which were now clammy with sweat and swallowed the lump out of my throat. It had been five years ago today that I first returned to Bristol after living in Cornwall for three years and met Emily all over again. That day was the beginning of my new life but I never would have believed it to be, but that was the day where everything began to pick up and fall into place after the night that I was raped.

It was all such a distant memory now. I had come a long way since it happened and it hadn't been easy at times but I had gotten through it. After the day that I found out John Foster was killed, the fear that once spiked every nerve in my body had slowly began to fizzle out until there was eventually nothing left. It took a long time for the nightmares to officially stop, it took even longer for the memories to slowly fall into the back of my mind but it happened. I never thought it would, I believed that I would be haunted by it for the rest of my life but I had finally managed to overcome it all.

Sometimes I would forget completely that it even happened and when I did remember, it no longer hurt as much. I had started a new life, becoming the person who I had always wanted to be and I was happy with the outcome. Sometimes that's all you need from life to get you through, love and happiness.

Everything had happened so quickly that it all seemed like a blur but if I really sat and thought about it, these past five years were most definitely the best years of my life. The whole group was still together and everyone except me and Emily and Mike and Karen were happily married. I was the god mother to Effy and Freddie's children, their daughter Mary – who had been named after Freddie's mum – who was just a little over four years old and their son Eli who was only eighteen months old. They were absolutely beautiful and wonderful children and I loved them unconditionally from the moment I met them, I was beyond proud to be their god mother.

Sam and Sally had married about three years ago and were expecting their first son together as Sally was just over eight months pregnant. Katie and Ryan had married a little over two years ago. Cook and Jess, JJ and Anna and Panda and Thomas had all married within the last year or two. Even Gina and Keith were now married too.

It was weird to see how everyone had grown up when we used to be such a dysfunctional group of people. It was beautiful too to see how everyone had moved past the difficult times and had found happiness when we all thought that we wouldn't. Sometimes life seemed too difficult that you almost thought that your life would stay that way forever but the truth was, if you really worked hard and focused on improving the wrongs, you could make something right happen. I was a perfect example of that.

I was actually in the process of opening my own music store where people could come in to buy their favourite CD's but it was also going to be a place where people – especially teenagers – could come to get away for a while and find solitude in something that comforted them. On the bottom floor there was a section of leather sofas where anyone could relax and listen to music but on the second floor there was an open venue for unsigned bands to come in and play and we would help promote them so that they would get noticed. We already had a few bands lined up for when we first open and I was beyond excited to see just how it would turn out, it was definitely my pride and joy since I was the owner of something that would hopefully become quite popular. I didn't even have to worry about looking for employment since Ryan, Mike, Sam and Sally were my definite employees. They had helped me a lot with the ideas and this way we could all work together whilst doing something that we loved.

That was the reason why I was at home whilst Emily was working, she had followed her dreams and had become a primary school teacher and she loved it. I was proud of my beautiful – now brunette – girlfriend for accomplishing something that meant a lot to her, just like I knew she was proud of me.

Emily and I had certainly come a long way as a couple but I was relieved to say that we were happier than ever. We now lived together in our own little house that was perfect for the two of us and whenever we decided that we wanted to start a family which was something that was quickly becoming a reality. She was the girl of my dreams and she had helped me through every difficulty that life threw in my direction. After struggling through something so hard and difficult, we had come out on top and we were strong enough so that nothing really affected us. We had the occasional argument over something silly but it would soon be forgotten and it was never enough to cause any real issues between us. She was the love of my life and there was no way that I was going to let her go ever again, I was making sure of that.

It was nearly four o'clock so I didn't have long before Emily got home so I ran around the house like a headless chicken to make sure everything was in place. I was stood by the front door covered by nothing but a short black towel when Emily walked in but she didn't notice me until she closed the front door. My eyes trailed seductively over her body, clad in a tight black pencil skirt with a white blouse tucked inside. Her dark brown hair was tied up with her fringe pushed up into a quiff and her black, small framed glasses perched on the bridge of her nose. I was certainly glad she worked around young children instead of teenagers or I'd probably have to hire a bodyguard to bat them all off.

Emily's eyes widened as she took in the sight before her, freezing mid step as her eyes travelled up and down my body, causing a smirk to pull up on my lips. She licked her lips and dropped her handbag in the middle of the floor as she strode forward and captured my lips with hers, pinning me against the wall whilst she kissed me feverishly. I had to push her off with a playful grin when she tried to remove the towel with desperation. She groaned and began kissing my neck instead, causing a small gasp to escape from my lips as my head rolled back to give her more room until I remembered that we couldn't do this right now. I pushed her back again and she huffed at me with a small pout.

"Baby, you can't tease me like this." She practically whimpered and I couldn't help but giggle at just how adorable she could be.

"Trust me, it's worth it." I said as I took her hand and led her upstairs to the bathroom.

I opened the door to reveal the small bathroom lit by dozens of candles, giving it a warm, romantic glow. The bath was filled with lovely hot water and bubbles as well as relaxation oils and bath salts with rose petals sprinkled around the outside. I handed a glass of red wine to Emily as she gaped at my masterpiece and I couldn't stop myself from smiling, relieved to see the awe within her beautiful eyes. I closed the door and kissed her cheek softly.

"What's all this for?" She asked softly as she sipped her wine and snuggled into my arms.

"No reason, I just wanted to treat you." I half lied before I began kissing her, placing our glasses of wine on the sink as I carefully removed her blouse.

Emily giggled and wrapped her arms around my neck, stroking my hair line whilst I slipped my hand up her soft skin and unclipped her bra, letting it fall to the floor before I unzipped her skirt. Emily stood back and pushed the remaining article of clothing to the floor, including her tights and knickers. She hooked her fingers into the inside of my towel and pulled it away from me, her eyes darkening as she looked at my naked body. I was sure mine had done the same; it amazed me how Emily's beauty still stunned me even after being together for so long. Her touch, her body, her smell…everything about her still made me crazy with desire and ache for more.

Our bodies came together in a heated frenzy as we clung to each other, kissing hard as hands stroked over warm, soft skin. Emily nibbled my bottom lip and I growled, becoming increasingly more turned on as her scent enflamed my senses and I felt as though I was drowning in everything that was Emily. I pulled back before we could get too carried away and took her hand in mine as I stepped into the tub, pulling Emily with me so that she could sit between my legs.

Once consumed by the hot water, I proceeded in running my hands over her shoulders, massaging them gently but firmly. Emily sighed and leaned her head back onto my shoulder and softly kissed my neck.

"This is lovely." She hummed as I moved further down her body, squeezing every inch of her skin with delicacy.

"That's what I intended, baby." I whispered, kissing her now damp hair.

I slipped my hands down her chest, covering her breasts with my hands as I gently teased her nipples between my fingers. I began kissing her neck as one hand ventured down her torso to between her thighs and I spread them slightly to slip my hand in between. My finger tips massaged her clit gently and Emily gasped and twitched against me as I sped up my movements, dipping them inside of her for a brief movement but returned them back to her bud of nerves. Emily arched her neck and found my lips, slipping her tongue into my mouth and I moaned at the sweet contact.

Emily was gasping and moaning into my mouth as I continued to work her towards the peak of an orgasm. She pushed herself up until she was practically sat on my lap and wrapped an arm around my neck, moaning harder as I pushed my fingers into her centre with ease at the new close proximity.

"Oh fuck." Emily whimpered as I slipped another finger inside and pumped them into her, pushing harder and faster until I felt her walls begin to clench so I curled my fingers and pressed them firmly against the spot which I knew would send her over the edge. She came apart within my arms and I held her until she was able to regain her breath before I pulled out and peppered her with a multitude of kisses. She giggled and buried her face into my neck.

"I guess you missed me?" She asked cheekily and I kissed her adorable button nose.

"I always miss you."

We stayed in the bath for a while just relaxing and enjoying the closeness and savouring the feel of our wet, naked skin against each other. Once we were out and dressed, I took Emily's hand and guided her towards the living room which was lit only by red fairy lights and candles with the scent of vanilla wafting through the air. Emily gasped once more and cuddled into me as I placed her down onto the sofa.

"Seriously Naoms, what is all this for?" She asked curiously but I just grinned and shook my head.

"Seriously, it's nothing; I just wanted to do something nice for a change."

Emily seemed satisfied with the answer as she smiled and kissed my lips softly. I hopped up, announcing that I had dinner prepared for us and I wandered into the kitchen to serve it up. It was only spaghetti Bolognese with a side of salad but I knew it was something that Emily enjoyed and I was proven right as she beamed when I handed her the plate.

We ate in a comfortable silence and once we were done, I washed up and returned to the living room with two more glasses of red wine. We led down across the three seat sofa with Emily tucked under my arm as she cuddled into my side and smothered my neck with light kisses of appreciation. I reached over to grab a remote control from the side and hit play, soft music played through the music and Emily hummed with happiness once she recognised what it was. A while back I had created a playlist for Emily of all the acoustic songs that I had written, some of which were covers of her favourite songs and the others were her favourites of my own. I had given it to her as a birthday present and there was a point where she would play it repeatedly to the point that I nearly got sick of hearing my own voice. But she loved it and I was glad for that and it fit perfectly with this moment and what I had prepared. I took a large gulp of wine and cleared my throat nervously.

"Actually, there is a reason for all of this." I started anxiously before I turned on my side to cup Emily's face within my hands.

"I've been thinking about this for quite some time now and I just didn't know when to do it, but that was until I realised that this day was coming up. Ems, it's been five years to this day that I first came back to Bristol and we met by accident. This was the day that I let you back into my life and we started things over, this was the start to all of the happiest times of my life and it all revolves around you." I leaned in and kissed her lips softly as she smiled shyly at me but her eyes twinkled with warmth, giving me all the encouragement that I needed to carry on.

"If it wasn't for you, I don't think I could have ever truly gotten through what happened to me all of those years ago. We went to hell and back together, we did and said horrible things to each other but at the end of the day, it has all brought us here to this very moment. I have never loved and will never love anyone the way that I love you because you're what makes me feel whole inside, you make me believe that no matter how bad things can get that it's all worth while as long as I have you by my side. There is nobody else in the world that I would rather be with than you because nobody can compare to who you are. You're my soul mate; I've believed that from the very moment I fell in love with you."

My throat was lined with a thickness as tears began to prick my eyes at the sheer amount of love I felt for the woman within my arms. Emily sniffled slightly as she smiled with tears in her eyes as well. I took a deep, shaky breath as I sat up and reached down to retrieve a small black box from under the sofa, and then I turned and kneeled down on the floor, holding the box within my hands. Emily's eyes widened when she realised exactly what was about to happen.

"And that's why I want to ask you this one very important question because nothing would make me happier than for you to be my wife. Emily Kathryn Fitch, will you marry me?"

I opened the box to reveal a small, white gold cut ring that was encrusted with diamonds and rubies which swirled up from the side of the band before forming a heart in the middle. I had chosen this design because it reminded me of us, white gold mixed with red because it was the shy, red haired girl who had first captured my heart back when we were barely seventeen. I glanced up nervously at Emily who hadn't said a word; her eyes were wide and fixed on the ring whilst her hand covered her open mouth. Her eyes glistened with tears and I began to worry after a few moments of silence until her eyes snapped up to me and she removed her hand to reveal a bright, honest smile.

"Yes! Fucking hell Naomi, yes of course!" She squealed before she threw herself into my arms and knocked me back against the floor.

Her hands encased my cheeks as she kissed me with such passion that it completely stole the air from my lungs. My heart slammed against my chest once the realisation that Emily had just agreed to marry me and I kissed her back just as hard with tears falling down my face. We pulled apart, grinning like mad at each other whilst we cried with happiness. We sat up and I slipped the ring onto her finger, relieved that it was the perfect size. Emily wrapped her arms around my neck and cuddled into me as I scooped my arm under her legs, lifting her up to carry her to the bedroom so that I could make love to my fiancé.

.x.

_3 years after the engagement._

I could still remember the day that I married Emily Fitch like it had only happened yesterday. I remembered standing at the top of the aisle with Cook by my side, my heart hammering in my chest as the seconds brought me closer to marrying the girl who I loved more than anything. I remembered turning around once the music began to play, announcing that Emily had entered and was walking down the aisle to be joined at my side. I had turned and the smile that had pulled up on my lips had threatened to split my face in half, I was probably lucky that my face hadn't stayed that way forever. A lump formed in my throat and tears instantly spilled down my cheeks as I watched my wife to be step closer towards me, her body clad in a perfectly tight white dress that pulled in around her waist and cut off just above her breasts, revealing no cleavage but enhanced the shape of her collar bones and her dainty shoulders. The end of the dress sprawled out behind her almost like waves of silk; the bridesmaids had to stand quite far behind to ensure they didn't step on it. I remembered giggling as my god children, Mary and Eli, ran around with a basket throwing flower petals everywhere, giggling because they had no clue as to what was really going on.

My heart had felt as though it was going to explode and I couldn't stop myself from smiling through the tears of happiness as we said our own written vows to each other. Emily looked so breathtaking that it was nearly impossible to focus on anything but her, but it was our special day so nobody could exactly blame us. We had finally bound our love in an everlasting promise to be together forever.

We had our honeymoon in Hawaii. The sun, sand, a never ending supply of alcohol and of course, Emily in the tiniest black bikini, I almost didn't want to return home. For two weeks we did nothing but fuck in every inch of our apartment, and on the beach and in the ocean and basically pretty much anywhere we felt like doing it. It had been beyond perfect but the happiness hadn't faded even once we returned back to Bristol to carry on with our lives.

It was our three year anniversary. We were at home with all of our friends and family around us. Food, alcohol and happy conversations accompanied us as we cradled our beautiful baby girl – Alexia – within our arms. I never thought that anything could make me and Emily happier but we were wrong once Lexi was born, she had completed our already perfect family and I loved her more than I could ever put into words. I might not have carried her but that didn't matter to me, I was still her mother and she was my little angel of a daughter. She was only four months old and she was tiny with big brown eyes and messy blonde hair. We had found a donor who had similar features to me so that it would look like our child and she did; she literally looked like someone had morphed mine and Emily's DNA into one and created this incredible little person.

I had little Hunter – Sally and Sam's son – perched on my lap as he ogled over Alexia who was giggling and gurgling at Emily and Effy who were shaking their heads and pulling silly faces to make the baby girl laugh.

"No funny ideas, you." I grinned as a gently poked Hunter in the ribs, making him giggle. "No man is getting anywhere near my baby girl so I'll be watching you." Hunter squealed with laughter as I continued to wiggle my fingers into his sides.

"You'll be shoving them off with a stick, Naoms." Freddie chuckled as he bounced Eli on his leg who was giggling like mad.

"She is so beautiful; I still can't believe how beautiful she is." Katie cooed happily.

"Damn right, no one's corrupting our little cupcakes." Cook said as he entered the room with Mary slung over his shoulder who was slapping his back playfully.

"Says the man who was always corrupting the cupcakes." Emily teased.

"Yeah well, things change init. You learn that when you become a dad." He replied as he sat down on the sofa whilst Mary climbed all over him, beginning him to carry on playing.

Just then Jess walked into the room carrying their one year old daughter, Lucy. She perched on the edge of the chair beside Cook and kissed his head fondly whilst he stroked Lucy's little face. I smiled at my best friend and the love that shone within his eyes as he looked between his wife and daughter. Cook was a fantastic dad, he was beyond ecstatic when he found out that Jess was pregnant because he said it gave him the chance to do all the things that his dad never did for him. He was still the guy that I knew and loved but he had matured so much over the years, it was almost hard to believe that he used to be so different.

We were all married now, even Mike and Karen who had tied the knot a year after me and Emily. We even all had children of our own even Ryan and Katie as they had adopted a beautiful little boy called Matt. For a while me and Emily had spoken about carrying a child for them using Ryan's sperm but Katie had said that she would find it too hard because she would always see Emily as their mother and after having Alexia, Emily said that there was no way she could carry another child only to have to give them away afterwards. Katie had dealt with not being able to carry children and she loved Matt as if he were her own, as did Ryan.

JJ and Anna had a little boy of one and half years called Joey, and Panda and Thomas had a little girl of two years called Sophie and were expecting their second child, a boy who they had already named as Cal. Mike and Karen had twins, a boy and girl of eighteen months called Melissa and Rhys.

We were now a giant family and sometimes, such as today when we all came together, it was complete and utter madness but we all loved it and wouldn't have had it any other way. It had been eleven years since the day I was raped, and eight years since I had returned to Bristol. My life was nothing close to how I used to imagine that it would be but I was glad for that. Everything had been so unexpected even if it was planned but I couldn't even begin to describe the happiness and love that resided within my heart. I was a completely different person to who I was back then, I had fought a fucking war and I had come out on top, even if I had been bloody and bruised during the outcome. I had my scars and I wore them with pride because it turned me into this person, the person who didn't run away, who didn't get scared and push away the ones who meant everything to me. I was a woman now with a beautiful wife and a perfect daughter. I had loving parents and incredible friends who supported us through everything, who I knew would die for me just as I would die for them.

Although the rape was still a distant nightmare locked down within my mind, it had just become another part of me. John Foster was dead, an evil man who destroyed lives just for the sheer pleasure. He would never experience life that way that I could, he would never know what it feels like to love and be loved in return, he was nothing but the dirt on the bottom of our shoes. Karma came around and knocked him six feet under, he was now nothing more but a dark mark over my past. I no longer feared him, nor did I feel sick or angry even by the thought of him, instead I pitied him. I pitied the fact that he was nothing but a worthless, pathetic excuse of a man who got exactly what was coming to him.

After a few lovely hours, everyone headed home to get their children to bed. Nothing could erase the smile from my face as I closed the front door behind them and turned around to see my wife cradling our daughter in her arms who was slowly beginning to dose off to sleep. We slowly crept upstairs to our bedroom where we led Alexia down in our bed and I wrapped my arm around her tiny little form. Since she was still so young, Emily hated leaving her to sleep in her cot alone so we kept her in the bed with us and every night we would switch between who got to sleep next to her. I found myself eager to go to bed every night that it was my turn just so that I could watch her fall asleep as she cradled my finger within her tiny little hands.

Emily wrapped her arm around my waist and settled her chin on top of my arm so that she could also watch Alexia fall asleep. It was something that we did every single night and it never failed to fill my heart with warmth as I listened to her steady breathing. Once she had fallen asleep, I turned my head and kissed Emily gently who responded instantly. She stroked her hands up and down my cheeks and smiled at me, which I returned without question as I gently rubbed my nose down the length of hers.

"I'm so happy, Emily." I whispered against her lips as I kissed her again.

"So am I, Naoms. I never thought that it was possible to be this happy."

"Me neither. It's insane to think of everything that's happened and this is where we've ended up. I wouldn't want it any other way."

I turned around to cuddle my baby girl into my arms as Emily cuddled into my back and rested her head against my neck, kissing my skin softly as we settled down to sleep. I linked my fingers through hers and pulled her impossibly closer, never wanting either of them to ever slip away.

"I love you so much, Naomi." Emily whispered before sleep took over us both.

"I love you too, baby." Was the last thing I replied before I fell into a deep, blissful slumber that was no longer filled with tormenting nightmares, but instead beautiful dreams of the future that I still had in front of me.

**The end.**

.x.

I don't actually know what to say. I can't believe that this story is finally over after three long years. I actually feel gutted and incredibly sad that I will no longer be able to write something for Can You Keep a Secret. But just like Naomi's past, this story has to be laid to rest to make room for new and hopefully better things.

So what do you guys have to say about this chapter? I decided to make it a lot longer than the past few chapters but I think that was my own way to drag it out a little. I had no idea what to write when I first started planning this chapter but once it came, I just couldn't stop (stop thinking dirty things!) I couldn't believe that I was capable of writing something filled with so much happiness but it turns out I can! But damn, I must say that this made me slightly broody, babies are just so cute! However, I have a little brother and sister who will put me straight off the thought when I see them in the morning haha!

Ah! I'm going to shut up now before I don't stop, so here it is! The end chapter, it has definitely been one hell of a rollercoaster ride. I'm sad to see this story go, I know you all are too! So please, leave your thoughts and opinions on not only this chapter but the entire story if you fancy it. I'd really love to know what you all think! I shall post an authors note soon to thank you all so keep your eyes peeled!

Okay, I'm going. I love you all so much and thank you. From KairiM! xxx


	39. Authors Note

Author's note

So Can You Keep a Secret has finally come to an end after three long years and I must admit that it feels a little strange. This story has been with me through so many different parts of my life and there were so many times that I felt like giving up on it but I just couldn't. So here I'm going to explain a little about how this story started, introducing me to the world of fan fiction.

I don't actually remember how I got the idea for this story. I was completely in love with skins at the time and whilst suffering with a mix of boredom and insomnia, I began reading Naomily fan fictions. I loved how it was a place where we could all come together to express our feelings towards something that we can all connect and relate over.

I've been writing for as long as I can remember, it's my only passion in life. I think I watched something on TV and it gave me the idea for this story and I just had to start writing, I never expected to receive the response that I have from all of you and it made me feel so good and I knew that I just had to carry on. One comment that I have received from a lot of my reviewers is that they were amazed by how I could write something such as this when I was only sixteen. I'm nearly twenty now and I think back and I can honestly say that I have no idea how I was capable of doing it, I think it was because I was in a dark place at the time so my mind kind of revolved around angst and I wanted to express it in a different way.

For those of you who may have been wondering, I have never been raped or received any form of sexual or physical abuse but I do know people who have so it helped me to write this story because I thought of their experiences and how it still affected them after many years. Rape is such a sensitive subject for an obvious reason but it is ignored a lot by people because they simply don't like to think about it. I wanted to write this story to help people realise that horrible things like this do happen on a daily basis and it can happen to anyone, as horrible as it is to think about.

I've always wanted to write something about someone who has experienced something so horrible that is has sent them completely off the rails. If I were to ever rewrite this story, I would probably make Naomi react in a much worse way than what I did at the time. There are so many problems that I know of now that I could have added in to this story but that's the good thing about growing up, I've learnt so much since I was sixteen and I would like to think that it has made me a better writer.

Finishing this story was hard because there were points when I didn't have a computer or internet or any form of motivation to carry on writing. My life has taken so many downwards and upwards spirals since I began writing this, so there were times that I never could focus on writing such a dark story when I had so much going on in my own life. But if I'm honest, I'm quite glad that it took me so long to finish because my writing has improved a lot, I read back over the first few chapters and it literally makes me cringe because of how bad my writing was when I started this. But hey, I was only sixteen; I think I did a pretty good job considering how young I was. I might not be anywhere near as good as some writers but that doesn't matter to me, writing is my passion and I have my own style just as everyone else does. As long as you all enjoy what I create, that's all that really matters.

Anyway, enough of my babbling. The whole point to this authors note is for me to thank all of you so much for sticking with this story and leaving such lovely reviews, it's an indescribable feeling when someone tells you that they love what you do and it makes them feel such strong emotions just through a bunch of words that have formed within my mind. It seriously means a lot to me and I could never thank you all enough. I have met some wonderful people through fan fiction and I'm so glad that I did decide to post this story all those years ago.

The person who I have to thank the most is a wonderful author called FaithSky. Without our stories, I never would have met my best friend. She literally means the world to me and she has helped me through so much that I could never truly express my gratitude. We connected over something that gave us so much joy and that is what helped us to become friends in the first place. My friends from school never had the passion for writing and they could never really understand me as a person, I have gone through so much in my life and I think it was too hard for them to deal with it so they drifted away from me. That's why FaithSky is different, she didn't care that I had issues, I'm her best friend and I know that she will have my back protected whenever I need her. So seriously, from the bottom of my heart, I love you man and thank you so much for everything and for helping me to carry on with my writing, I never could have done it without you. If you haven't read any of her stuff, go and do it right now because you really won't be disappointed!

There are so many of you who I would like to personally thank but it would take a long time and sadly, I have work tomorrow and need to get to bed. But this goes out to EVERY single person who has reviewed, followed and added this story to their favourites. I love you all so much and you are all wonderful people and thank you for sticking to this story and giving it a chance. I never would have continued or gained this new confidence for my writing if it wasn't for you guys. I do intend to keep writing fan fictions and I have actually already started a new story called Made of Scars, so check it out and I hope you enjoy it. Can You Keep a Secret will always be my pride and joy but this story is officially over. I'll see you all in something new and different and I hope that I continue to entertain you all with this silly imagination of mine. :)

HUGS AND KISSES FOR ALL OF YOU, I LOVE YOU GUYS! KairiM xxxx


End file.
